After creeping down the staircase and making a pot of coffee, I brought a mug and a bagel up to my bedroom. Jacob looked so peaceful, so I was reluctant to wake him. I set the mug and bagel on the end table before gently shaking his shoulder. His snores cut off quickly. He smacked his lips together and pried open heavy eyelids.

He slurred, "B-Beeeeells…?"

"It's half past six." I whispered, nervously glancing at my bedroom door. I turned back to him as he began to sit up. I said, "There's breakfast."

"Thanks." Jacob mumbled, groping for the cup and snack. The bagel was gone in less than two seconds. I watched, eyebrows raised, as he chugged the piping hot coffee as if it were a cold drink. He set the cup down and sighed, "Thanks, honey. I needed that."

"I wish you could sleep more." I softy replied as I came around the edge of the bed and sat beside him. I added, "You still look exhausted."

"Nah," He shook his head, "I'm good now. Need to check in with Sam and then run my patrol. I'm on at nine." He yawned widely as his jaw cracked.

I winced and asked, "Patrol?"

"Around the boarders of the Rez." Jacob explained, wiping at his face before finally looking at me. There were the faintest of dark shadows under his eyes.

I slowly asked, "You and the others take turns doing this?"

Jacob explained, "Two at a time. Eight hour stretches. Unless there's a leech."

"What happens when you…" I cleared my throat, "…find one?"
Jacob went very still as he said, "We kill it, Bella."

We lapsed into silence. I was chewing on my bottom lip as he stood up. I blurted, "Be careful. They're really strong. I don't understand how you can kill one."

Jacob laughed. It was a brief, deep baritone of amusement. I peeked at the bedroom door again before he said, "I'm stronger than them. Don't worry, Bells."

He walked to the window, throwing it open. I stood up and quickly asked, "When can I see you?"

He explained, "My patrol ends around five. I'll do check in with Sam and then I can head this way, if you want me to, that is."

"Of course, I do." I replied reproachfully. "I'll save you dinner and dessert."

Jacob smiled my favorite smile. It was full, warm, and bright. "Looking forward to it. Thanks, Bells. See you soon."

And then he jumped out the window. Squeaking, I ran forward so quickly that I rammed my chest into the window pane. I glanced down, stomach churning in dread for what I might see, only to find Jacob standing tall and proud far below. He grinned, giving me a thumbs up. I smiled weakly and watched him jog away until he disappeared within the trees. As I went downstairs to quietly pour a bowl of cold cereal, I guessed shape-shifters really must have abilities similar to vampires.

Afterward, I washed and folded multiple loads of clothes. After putting Charlie's clothes on his bed, and mine on my bed, I went downstairs and paced in circles before I came up with the idea to mop. So, I mopped the kitchen floor and scrubbed the spotless counter tops. On a whim, I went to the local grocery store. I spent entirely too much time reading ingredients' lists and debating produce. I picked up steaks for Charlie, but made sure to buy lean turkey and chicken for the rest of the week's meals. I purposely forgot to grab bacon. The man needed something other than fat in his diet. I grabbed a small carton of double fudge ice cream with a small smile, knowing I would keep it far from Charlie and let Jacob hoard the dessert.

After unloading and storing all the freshly bought groceries, I began thumbing through ancient cookbooks. Still, I glanced at the clock more often than I wanted to. My mind subconsciously went to Jacob. Always Jacob. Being with him was as easy as breathing. I thought of the dozens of picture frames in his living room. The ones of Jacob and I as toddlers and adolescents. It was surreal to think of the faded bits of memory. I had once told an eight-year-old Jacob his eyes were the prettiest things I'd ever seen. I was ten-years-old at the time. The proof was in the hazy picture taped to the Blacks' ancient refrigerator door. It was a still-shot from Jacob's eighth birthday. He had ditched the seat next to Quil for me. Both of us had been covered in blue icing. I sighed and set the cook book down.

"Wolves." I muttered, "I don't…understand."

I ran my fingers through my hair and wondered what I was going to do. There were vampires passing through Forks. Red eyes, Jacob had said. Human blood drinkers. Not friendly. The shape-shifters had killed one of the vampires, which meant Jacob and the other shape-shifters were more than capable of protecting themselves. Protectors. That's what Jacob had called them. Jacob was my best friend. That label neversounded right. It wasn't enough, was it? We were more. Somehow.

I pushed through my muddy brain. He was more than a best friend. Had always been more than that. He was a part of me like an extension of myself. Jacob was my best friend, my Jacob, and we fit together in unexplainable ways. He was different now, which was painfully plain to see. Yet I had seen my Jacob through the veneer of anger. His body was different, his demeanor was different. His attitude had changed as well. He was Jacob, though. His eyes were the same. The way he spoke my name was the same. His slow, sure grin was the same.

I prepped dinner and then drove to Newton's for a short shift. Very few customers came into the store, but I was busy with stocking merchandise and cross-referencing inventory. Thankfully, Mike wasn't working. By the time I pulled in the driveway later that evening, Charlie was already home. I came inside to find him listening to commentary on a basketball game and fiddling with his fishing gear.

"Hey, Bells." He said.

"Hey, Dad." I replied, dropping my work bag and keys on the sofa. I walked into the kitchen and called out, "Chicken fettucine for dinner. Oatmeal raisin cookies for dessert."

At a quarter to six o'clock, I went upstairs for a bath. Thoughts continued to swirl inside my head. Jacob was a wolf. The odd, foreign thought had me blinking blankly at the bathroom walls for some time. My mind wanted to scream, to protest how unfair it was for such a beautiful person to become something so tiring and angry. Bitter. And deadly. Dangerous. The other part of me was sure I had invented this entire event in my broken mind. Too much, too much, too much.

Sighing, I stepped out of the bright light of the bathroom and into the dim light of my bedroom. I whispered, "Maybe you're just really insane now…"

Even as I said the words, I didn't believe them. Jacob's voice was real. His tone and fear and anger were real. His warmth and calloused fingers were real. I had lived in many places in my short life, but ever since I moved to Forks, I had never had realer experiences. Painful, raw, aching memories both happy and sad. Jacob was one of the realest people I had ever met. He, and one other, held the most tangible moments of my life and heart.

While chaotic thoughts swirled around in my head, I pulled a comb through my wet hair. When the shadow from the opposite side of the bedroom moved, my heart jumped in my throat and a fleeting thought popped inside my head. Vampire. Red eyes. A vampire was here. Finally.
The comb clattered to the floorboards. As fear turned to numbness, I realized the shadow was no longer moving. It was huge, too massive to be a petite child-like Victoria or one of the slimmer Cullens. Even Emmett, with his bulk, was not this big. Warmth seemed to slowly seep inside my chest. I whispered, "Jake…?"

"I didn't mean to scare you, Bells." His voice was deep, tired, older. I gulped.

"I can't see a thing." I grumbled, turned to my left, and flipped on a lamp. I turned back toward the general direction of his shadow. I asked, "The window again?"

He shrugged and echoed, "The window."

I didn't bother asking why he came through the window and not the front door. It was night time, but not late. He could have rung the doorbell and told Charlie he was here to visit me for a bit, but Jacob hadn't done that. He was a stranger again. The Other Jacob. Not My Jacob. His posture was tense. His teeth were grinding together. I took a chance and glanced up. My breath caught when I took in his bare chest and the hard, sweaty muscles. Jacob's hair was dripping water. The odd tattoo on his shoulder made my fingers itch. His jaw was just as taut as it ever was. He trembled subtly.

I looked at his eyes. They were deep pools of dark chocolate. I whispered, "Need a hug?"

My cheeks were flushing as I shuffled forward. After a brief hesitation, I hurriedly took three lunges just as Jacob opened his arms wide. I ducked my chin to his chest while curling my arms around his waist. His skin was hot to the touch. Jacob mumbled, "You should be scared of me. Should be terrified."

"Why would I be?" I asked. When Jacob remained silent, I took a step back. With my arms still around his middle, I craned my neck up and gazed at him. There were foreign aspects to a face I had once known so well. Jutting cheekbones that used to be more rounded. Too sharp jawline. Dark stubble where there was once none. All foreign. And yet, the wide eyes were the same. Broad nose. Full lips. Dimple indented in the middle of a square-cut chin. All familiar.

"Hey, listen to me." I insisted quietly, "You're still you, Jacob."

"Even if I transform into a big ass dog? A killing machine?" He choked.

"Even then." I replied.

"You don't get it." He stressed as his big body began to shake. I put my cheek back to his chest and slowly began to rub my hands on his upper back like I would to soothe a child. I whispered, "Explain it to me."

"I'm not human anymore, Bella. I have these instincts that take over. These…these…desires that are potent and damn well terrifying. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my own skin. Never thought I'd have a hard time walking on two feet, but it's true. I'm restless or exhausted. Those are the only two feelings left. I don't feel like myself at all."

Jacob pulled away from me rather roughly and I stumbled, catching myself on the back of the desk chair. Jacob began to pace, moving quickly. As I focused on his bare feet, I felt my body break out in a chill. His feet were nearly a blur. Not as quick as a vampire, but certainly faster than a human.

Swallowing, I crossed my arms over my chest. I was irritated at my heart for pounding so swiftly. I opened my mouth to speak, but Jacob began to rant in a voice like gravel. "I'm not a kid anymore. There is no going back, no matter how much I wish I could. My DNA changed, Bella. I'm literally different than…who you knew. I turn into a huge wolf. I'm unbelievably strong as in I can walk outside and bench press your damn truck with two fingers. My muscles have tripled and if I grow another inch taller, I'll have to join a circus for freaks."

For a second I thought he would stop talking, but he continued in the same growling voice. "My hearing is so acute that I feel your heart beating like crazy. I can hear every animal scurrying out in that forest behind your house. If I get too angry, I explode into a beast that can rip a human in half. I have to eat pounds and pounds of food a day or my body will shut down. I feel as if I'm on fire constantly because my temperature stays at one hundred and eight now."

Jacob whipped dark eyes in my direction and his eyes were burning. He whispered, "That's only the half of it, but the worst part is I hurt you, Bella. I wasn't there when you needed me. I left and that's the worst thing I could have done to you. I'm not sure if I can fix this."

There was a pause. His chest was heaving. I could see the micro-movements as his muscles twitched. I swallowed heavily and said, "I forgive you. And I'm here."

He sagged, knees bending as his towering height came to rest at the chair that I was now sitting on. Big palms rubbed circles on my knees as he looked at me. Jacob whispered, "I'm so sorry, Bells. I don't know if I'm any good for you anymore. I feel so toxic and angry."

"You are good." I insisted, reaching forward and taking his hands in mine. I squeezed them and fiercely stated, "Jacob Black is an incredible person. He's kind and funny and patient. He's talented, dedicated, and determined. He's my best friend, so don't you dare speak about him so negatively."

His lips tilted up, but the expression was heartbreaking. I whispered, "You are different, but that doesn't change anything for me. I promise I'm here to remind you of who you are when you forget. Okay?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

I patted him on the shoulder and said, "Good. Let me go find you a pair of Charlie's old sweats. You can change in here. After you eat, you can rest."

I snuck Jacob the entire container of leftover chicken fettucine and a big bowl of double fudge chocolate ice cream along with a few cookies. He scarfed the food down in less than three minutes as I watched, both impressed and disgusted. Once Charlie was in his bed for the night, I went downstairs and brought the laundry basket to my bedroom. I slipped a pair of folded pants out of the stack and handed them to Jacob. I said, "They're definitely going to be too short. Here. Cut them with scissors."

After wrestling with the scissors and fabric, we managed to crudely cut him a pair of baggy shorts. I glanced at my bedroom door before saying, "Charlie is asleep on the sofa. If you hurry, you can shower and dress before he notices."

"What would you do if he realized I was here?" Jacob asked me slowly.

I frowned and turned my eyes his way. I replied, "Tell the truth."

"The truth?" He echoed, raspy-voiced and tired.

I said, "Yeah. I'd tell him you're having a rough time and needed a friend."

There was a pause and I felt as if I had said the wrong thing. Jacob slowly stood up from his slumped over position on the edge of my bed. Barefoot and tracking muddy footprints, Jacob left my bedroom. A moment later, I heard the squeak of knobs turning in the bathroom. Quickly, I dressed in my pajamas- cotton shorts and a tank top- before crawling under the blankets. My head turned when I smelt the fruitiness of my shampoo. Jacob was bending over, hastily wiping at the floorboards with a towel. He closed the door and locked it before whispering, "Charlie woke up. He's coming up the stairs, but he didn't see me."

I gestured and whispered back, "Come lay down."

Jacob edged around the bed and hesitated only a moment before slipping under the blankets. I had never considered my bed small before, but Jacob's body was so broad that our shoulders and legs touched. My cheeks felt hot as I recalled our legs tangled with one another the morning before.

Several silent minutes passed in which we heard nothing more than Charlie's footsteps and our own exhales. The bedroom was dimly lit, so I had to squint to make out the shape of Jacob's jawline. I stared, perhaps longer than necessary, because he finally turned and met my eyes. He raised a dark brow and murmured, "See something you like, Bells?"

My heart skipped a beat. Wordlessly, I rolled over and faced away from him. The sheets made noise as I settled down. I tried to ignore the way his leg hair tickled my foot. With each inhale, my heel brushed against his thigh. Carefully, I moved my foot away from him. He sighed heavily, "Sorry, Bells. Don't be uncomfortable. Not with me, please. I was just being dumb."

Biting my lip, I listened to the soft husky note to his voice. Its sound was soothing without even meaning to be so. I reached behind me and patted my hand across the mattress. When my fingers brushed his, I gasped at the feel. Thick fingers, rough at the edges with callouses. Wide palms. Strong hands. Gentle hands. Warmth.

I wrapped my fingers around his and tugged. There was no resistance, so I brought his long arm around my waist and tucked our intertwined hands to my chest. We fell into a deep silence punctured only by an occasional soft sigh. Our rhythmic breathing, the gentle movement of broad shoulders and chest, had lulled me into a dream land. Jacob murmured, "You have no idea how much you mean to me. I can't lose you, Bella. It would kill me."

I tightened my hand reflexively against his. With a frown on my face, my eyes slowly opened. I wondered if I had been dreaming until I felt the soft press of full lips against the tip of my shoulder. My body stiffened. My heart skipped. In that moment, I knew that he knew I was awake. There was a pause. Jacob's bare chest was pressed against my back. His lips were brushing softly against my shoulder. His hand was clasped within my own. Slowly, he began to pull away. My hand tightened on his. I whispered, "Stay."

He relaxed, settling down after a moment of restlessness. I maneuver a bit, scooting forward and exposing most of my pillow. Jacob laid his head down directly behind me. I felt his breath tickle my ear and stir my hair as he whispered, "Goodnight, Bells. Sweet dreams."

I murmured, "Goodnight, Jake."