The next morning was… awkward. Viren shared breakfast with his children, but it was a quiet affair. Claudia tried to start a conversation a few times, but nothing came of it. She'd apparently convinced her brother to stay one more day - so she could keep exploring the Sanctum.
Viren took the time to join her, sharing his… 'theories' about the Sanctum with an amused Aaravos trailing behind.
"It's amazing these crystals have any memories in them at all!" Claudia said, when he showed her the few intact memory crystals he'd found, "And in color!"
"It's probably because they were handled by so many mer," Viren said.
"Or just one recently," Aaravos chuckled.
"Or maybe it's because of how much they liked this Aaravos guy," Claudia said, "Maybe it wasn't a servant school, after all."
"What makes you say that?" Viren asked, frowning. And where did you learn that name?
"Just, the impressions I got from the viewer," his daughter shrugged, switching to a different crystal, "Kind of felt like… fond exasperation? Weird how the impressions were clear enough to pick up a name, too."
Her father blinked in confusion. He hadn't picked up any of those impressions - the most he'd gathered from the crystals was that Aaravos was a man. Memory crystals used by many didn't usually have strong impressions to begin with - many impressions tended to drown each other out, like a single voice in a crowd.
Crystals used by only a few people tended to have very clear impressions - or crystals that only had one frequent viewer overwriting past impressions.
"Fond exasperation?" Aaravos grinned, "I did not know you cared, little fish."
Viren fought back a sigh, and said, "I think I'll go speak to your brother. I have… things I should say to him. Alone."
Claudia opened her eyes and gave him a confused look as she said, "Uh, yeah, of course."
Aaravos held up his hands behind her, spectral form winking out of existence.
The mer nodded to his daughter, then went in search of his son.
Soren was outside, swimming fast laps around the Sanctum as a workout.
Viren watched him for a few minutes, waiting to be noticed. It seemed like Soren had something on his mind - something he'd been thinking about a lot. Which was… unusual in and of itself.
Soren did notice him eventually, and swan over hesitantly, "Uh, hey - what's up?"
"I wanted to speak with you before you left," his father said, then hesitated, "Or, I suppose, listen to what you have to say."
Soren hesitated himself, then sighed and sunk down to the ground, "I just… I've been thinking a lot. And talking with… people."
"People?" Viren prompted, sinking down as well.
"King Harrow," his son replied, "The princes. Ibis."
"Is he the um… boyfriend?" his father asked awkwardly. It was strange, to think of his son dating a carnivore - but… Viren was going to be supportive of Soren's choices. Like he should have been before.
Soren groaned, "We're not - look, that's not… that's not the point."
"I know," Viren said, "I wasn't trying to distract you. I just…"
"What?" his son asked, "You just what, Dad?"
"I just wanted to know what's going on in your life," Viren replied, then sighed, "Though I suppose it may go back further than the last six months…"
Soren rubbed the back of his neck, then sighed, "You've done bad things, Dad."
"I know," his father replied.
"And I always thought that you had good reasons," the younger mer went on, "You were always so confident, and it… it always made sense, what you said. I thought if everyone-" Soren paused, sighed again, "If I did what you told me to, things would always work out alright. That even though you did bad things sometimes, it was to protect Katolis. Or me and Claudia."
"It was-" Viren started, then held up his hands. He was here to listen, he reminded himself.
"I know you believe that," Soren said, then frowned, "But… I don't. At least… not anymore. I think the things you did weren't just… bad, but wrong. I thought… maybe you would realize that too."
Viren said nothing. What could he say? Soren was right - he acknowledged that the things he did were morally questionable. They were hard choices - but he didn't think they had been the wrong choices. Knowing it would lead to this, he couldn't say he would have acted any differently.
Soren nodded, and got up, "Yeah, that's what I thought."
Viren watched him go, then called out, "Soren."
His son paused.
"I'm still proud of you," he said, "I just… want you to know that."
"... thanks, Dad," Soren said, and went back to his laps.
Viren continued watching for some time before returning inside.
Dinner was more relaxed, though Soren was still more… quiet and reserved. Viren decided it was still better to sleep away from the dormitories, and found Aaravos on the other side of the mirror when he entered.
"Enjoying your time with your children?" the cecaelia asked, opening his eyes from viewing a memory crystal. He didn't set it aside - likely knowing Viren intended to sleep.
"Of course," Viren replied, swimming right into the large sleepy cubby.
He wasn't surprised to be joined by the cecaelia's astral form, "That was not particularly enthusiastic."
"I'm tired," the mer replied, shutting his eyes and trying to ignore the carnivore.
"Productive talk, then?" Aaravos asked, "With your son?"
Viren sighed, ignoring the carnivore.
The cecaelia hummed, but left it at that.
Claudia and Soren were ready to leave the next morning, and Viren went to the edge of the kelp forest to see them off.
"So, um, this is goodbye," Claudia said, "Again."
"For now," Viren replied, and took a deep breath, "Obviously, you can… visit, if you want."
"Yeah," his daughter said, looking down.
Soren was looking away - back towards Katolis.
"Listen," Viren said, then reached out to put a hand on Claudia's shoulder, "Both of you."
They both looked back at him, expectant.
"No matter what choices I've made, or what happens after this," their father said, then cleared his throat, "I just want you both to know-"
"You're proud of us, we know," Soren rolled his eyes, "You've only said like ten times…"
"Soren," Claudia admonished.
"I am proud," Viren said, "But, more than that - I love both of you. I know I'm good at showing it, but-"
Claudia cut him off with a hug, "We love you too, Dad!"
Soren shifted uncomfortably, then sighed and joined in the hug as well, "Yeah."
And then they were off, and Viren returned to the Sanctum alone. Aaravos's astral form hadn't returned since the previous night, and the mer took the reprieve to pull out the memory shard from King Harrow.
Memory shards were great for sending short messages, though they lacked some of the refinement of full crystals. For instance, they did not give impressions the way crystals did, and were usually in faded sepia.
Taking a steeling breath, Viren closed his eyes to view the message in the shard.
Harrow faced a mirror, the royal study behind him. He cleared his throat, looking… nervous.
"Viren. I've… had time to reflect on what happened the night the assassins came. And…"
Harrow sighed, shaking his head, "That's too formal, isn't it? We've known each other too long for that. And, having known you for such a long time, it should have been obvious - that you were going to offer yourself to save my life."
The King's brows knit as he frowned, looking down, "You were always talking about sacrifices needing to be made, and I was… I forgot that you were always first in line to be that sacrifice, when necessary."
Harrow looked up again, expression hard but… open, "I still think you're too ruthless. And that dark magic is wrong, and that I should never have let you go so far. But…"
The king's brows softened, "But that was still my choice, and the person I'm most angry with is myself. And while I'm not happy with you, I did push some of that anger onto you."
"I don't regret exiling you," Harrow turned, and the view shifted… to his coronation painting, "It's a punishment that fits your crimes. Crimes I helped you commit."
The king looked back to the mirror, "But you always had Katolis's best interest at heart. My best interest. I can't agree with what you've done, and I will have to learn to live with the guilt of my own wrongdoings - but I want you to know… I forgive you."
"You were a stalwart friend, and you have my word that I will look out for Claudia and Soren," Harrow said, then chuckled, "Well, you have my word again. I hope one day you come to see the wrong in the things you've done - I doubt it, but I still hope."
Viren felt… he threw the shard to the ground, though it wasn't hard enough to shatter. He felt… angry, yes. Harrow forgave him? Forgave him? After exiling him for the good of Katolis, after all but accusing him of - Harrow forgave him?
And yet - Harrow forgave him. His oldest, dearest friend understood he'd been looking out for him. That he was trying to do what was best for Katolis. That he wasn't some heartless vessel of pride and blind ambition. Harrow forgave him.
He felt too much. Too many things at once. So he did something stupid.
He drank.
When Aaravos appeared in the mirror some hours later, the cecaelia arched a brow, "Redecorating, Viren?"
"Yr'wall 's stupid," Viren replied, taking another sip from the bottle in his hand. The top had a suction middle, allowing the spirits to remain inside instead of float into the rest of the ocean.
"Have you been… drinking?" the carnivore asked, partially in disbelief.
"You suggesed it," the mer replied, slumped against the empty memory crystal shelves.
Aaravos sighed, and swam back to use his astral projection rune. His spectre approached cautiously, eyeing the destroyed dark magic cabinet and materials curiously, "Yes, but I had not anticipated… this."
Viren scoffed, taking another drink.
"Was your children's departure so hard on you?" the cecaelia asked carefully.
"M'son thins I'm a monster," the mer snorted, "Prob'ly righ'."
"What would make you say that?" Aaravos asked, settling next to him.
"Is why she lef," Viren said, "M'mate. Is why they alleave."
"I am here," the cecaelia said.
The mer snorted, waved a hand through the carnivore's projection, "Y'nah."
"Talk to me, Viren," the cecaelia said, shifting to curl towards the other man.
Viren sighed, shaking his head as he examined the bottle in his hands, "Harrow forgibes me."
"Forgives you?" Aaravos tilted his head, "For what?"
The mer chuckled bitterly, "Bein' m'self, moshly."
The cecaelia made no comment, waiting.
Viren took another drink, "M'nah… a goo' pershon. I know thish. Buh… I tried t'do good thingsh. T'protec' Katolish. 'N Harrow. T'make the 'ard choishes he couldn'. I ded-dedicaded m'life t'it. Now 'm 'spose to… regret? Wha' was th'poin'? If ever'thin' I did was… wrong, then wha' th'fuck was the point?"
Late nights researching magical secrets. Long council meetings with fools and hopeless idealists. Years of scouring the library for just one vital piece of information, of standing by Harrow's side and making his goals happen, of never wanting anything more for himself than to keep standing by the king's side.
Was he supposed to believe that had all been a waste?
"I do not think you are a monster," Aaravos said, "I do think you have had enough to drink."
Viren snorted, letting the bottle slip out of his hands and float to the floor, "'Course nah. Yer a monster too."
"Oh?" the cecaelia asked, amused as usual.
"I always though' dar'magic wash made by a des'pret mer. Buh you? Yer 'n Arshmage. Mashter of all shix Primal Sources," the mer smirked in drunken daring, "On'y a monster could come up with shomethin' like tha' fer no reashon."
"It was for a reason," Aaravos said, "Though I suppose curiosity does not make me less monstrous."
"No," Viren scoffed.
"You like me anyway," the cecaelia said with complete certainty.
"Yeah," the mer replied, closing his eyes and letting his head tilt back against the wall. It didn't seem like a point in his own favor.
"Why fight it?" Aaravos asked, "Why punish yourself with the misconceptions of others?"
Viren cracked open an eye to look at the other man, "'M nah a martyr."
"You are not very convincing," the cecaelia arched a brow, "Besides, if they are going to paint you as a monster no matter what you do, why give them the satisfaction of your misery?"
The mer laughed softly, closing his eye again, "Sho I shoul' 'appily be a monshter? With you?"
"Would that be such a bad thing?" Aaravos asked, equally as soft.
Viren didn't respond for a moment - then blinked his eyes open to look over at the carnivore.
The cecaelia was not smiling - his face was carefully unreadable.
The mer felt a flush that wasn't from the drink as he pushed off the wall, "I shoul' shleep."
"Mm-hm," Aaravos hummed in agreement, smirk back in place as he watched the other man go.