Welcome back my gorgeous readers!

I am in a full lockdown again so will be hoping to release at least one chapter every week.

Stay safe everyone!

Chapter 8…

{Jace's POV}

I was jerked into life by a loud slamming noise.

I flinched upright and stared directly as the doors to the Last Years training room flung wide open, bounced off the wall to slam shut again.

Between the two doors Clary stalked through, and the look on her face was conflicted.

As she came and stood by the rest of us Emma asked her where she had been.

However, when Clary provided no answer, I almost shouted.

"Clary!?"

"What!"

She shouted back, her entire body seemed to be coiling with rage and uncomfort.

I stood up straight away.

Her normally luminous green eyes were dark, darker than normal.

I walked around the coffee table slowly, Clary was watching my every step, as if she was expecting me to lurch for her at some point.

I offered out my hand to her.

{Clary's POV}

Jace rose to his feet and moved around the coffee table towards me, his hand outstretched.

"Are you-"

I flinched, away from his touch. Startled light flared in his golden eyes, he was hurt.

Wrapping my arms around myself I finally spoke,

"I was just out running across the ward barrier to the Academy, looking for how they got in."

"The entire barrier perimeter?"

Emma questioned, startled by my answer to where I had been.

I nodded in response to her question and she exclaimed,

"Clary that's about 5 miles, you ran that far in 20 minutes?"

I waved my hand to dismiss her admiration,

"No, that's besides the point. There was nothing wrong with the barrier, they shouldn't have gotten in."

I explained,

"Is that not a good thing? If the wards are working."

I placed my hands on either side of my temple and started to slowly massage,

"No, it's not. It means I have no idea how Moloch breached them in the first place and entered."

I knew Jace could tell that something was wrong, beyond me worrying about the barriers.

"Guys, I think we should all go and rest now. I'm sure tomorrow there will be news about the LA Institute and a Clave representative will be here to explain."

Jace swooped in and stated.

Thankfully the others agreed and they all headed off to their various rooms, through different corridors.

I was unaware that my arms were still around myself until Jace gently took my hand and started leading me towards our bedroom.

My feet followed out of habit, my mind was racing.

{Jace's POV}

I guided Clary into the bedroom and let go of her hand to shut the door.

I hadn't realised she was shaking until I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her into my arms.

As if it were natural to her Clary, she pulled up her knees so she was now straddling my hips, sitting on my lap.

I pressed my forehead to hers and let out a long, slow breath.

I nudged her gently and asked as soft as I could,

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Placing my hands on the small of her back, I started tracing circles there in a desperate hope to try and calm her.

Clary remained silent against me, I kept feeling her brow crease and relax against my forehead.

I had only ever seen her act like this over one person, so I stated,

"This is about your father isn't it?"

She stiffened on my lap, and smoothly moved away from me and stood up ; I leaned forwards with my hands on my knees staring at her in confusion.

"How did you know?"

She asked, her voice shaking and small.

Sometimes it amazed me how fragile Clary really was, don't get me wrong she was the strongest person I knew. Despite that, underneath all of her walls she's surrounded herself with there is a girl in there who is afraid of getting hurt again, afraid to love.

"He is the only one I know that can make you worried like this. But Clary he's dead, he can't hurt you anymore."

At my last words, her head snapped up - in her eyes there was a tired anger.

"Yes. Yes he can."

She whispered.

"Clary, he is gone-"

I had stood up to reach out for her once again, but she used both hands and shoved me hard away from her.

"No! Jace. Yes he is dead, I remember because I'm the one who murdered him. But my father will never stop hurting me. Every memory, every time someone mentions his name it's like a stab to the heart. Even in death he still holds the power to cause me pain."

Out of shock and desperation I squinted and saw her eyes, they were empty.

These were Clary's true eyes. They had turned an ominous black, though where they had scared me before I now knew it was a part of her.

"And I can never get away from him. Never. Look at me,"

She gestured to her eyes and her body,

"I am everything he hoped I would be. He wanted me to kill him at Lake Lyn, to prove a point. That I was his better, because I'm exactly like him."

Her hands were shaking at her sides, silent tears of frustration and rage ran down her face. I had never seen Clary like this, so… so close to the edge.

{Clary's POV}

I could barely breathe.

For the past 2 weeks since Lake Lyn it had been building up, like one might describe a tsunami, gaining momentum the longer it stayed in the water.

But now I had reached the shore, a relentless force cutting itself out of my body. I stood back helpless, left to look at the hurt look in Jace's eyes, I knew he was in agony seeing me like this, but there was nothing I could do.

Glancing down at my hands I saw they were shaking, balled up in fists.

I brought them up to my face and put them on either side of my head, pressing as hard as I could.

I was begging for the pain to stop, begging for everything to stop.

Jace stared at me wordless for a moment, then started towards me.

My legs collapsed from under me, my knees hitting the ground hard and my arms fell limp at my sides. I let the weight of my body allow me to fall forwards.

I hadn't realised but one of the blades was still tucked into my belt, I pulled it out and my hand closed against it. I curled my body around it as if it were a child that needed protecting.

"Clary-Clary-"

Jace whispered breathlessly.

And then he was there, sinking to his knees beside me, his arms around me; I rocked into them, pressing my forehead to his shoulder.

~time skip~

My eyes flung wide as I felt an intense pain at my wrist.

Somehow Jace and I were now in the bed, his arms still cradling me, and the seraph blade still in my arms.

What had woken me was the sharp pain of the blade cutting into my skin - I assumed it had been like that all night, but now it was slicing in too deep.

I must have passed out from exhaustion last night, you know that type of sleep where it feels like it's been 2 minutes when its really been 9 hours; my entire body had just shut off.

Not wanting to wake Jace up, I smoothly slipped out of his arms and sat on the edge of the bed.

Slowly I looked down at my wrist and frowned at the deep cut running the length of my forearm.

Lifting myself off the bed I wandered to the bathroom and held my arm under the running water, I wanted to clean the wound before I applied an iratze. Infections were a pain for shadowhunters, because there wasn't a rune to heal them.

The sting of my exposed skin on the cold water was delightfully awakening, it jerked a bit of life into my body.

I was dabbing my arm with one of the unused hand towels when I opened the door and walked back into the bedroom.

Nearly freezing in the doorway, a familiar voice called out my name.

I looked to the bed and saw Jace now sitting up in the bed staring at Izzy.

"Clary,"

She stopped shortly, before her eyes became glued to my wrist which I was cradling with my other arm.

"How did that happen?"

She asked,

"Long story. What are you doing here?"

I replied quickly, not wanting to be quizzed about last night.

"The Clave."

Izzy said in a small voice. My eyes snapped up to meet hers instantly, telling her to explain further.

"They're here. The Consul is here, and he wants to speak with the students, and you Clary."

"Why?"

I demanded.

Izzy just shook her head,

"I have no idea, probably about last night I assume."

I looked at Jace worryingly, had he told her about what had happened?

Noticing the panic in my eyes right away Jace swooped in with,

"About the Greater Demon, Moloch arriving at the Academy."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"When do they wish to speak to me?"

"In the afternoon I believe, so you will have one class this morning. Max is really excited by the way,"

Iz added in, smiling at me as she said so.

I couldn't help but smile back a little, the ten-year old Lightwood was someone who had taken a liking to me quickly; though when we had first met I held a knife to his throat and threatened his life. But we've moved past that.

Izzy left the room then, leaving Jace and I to get dressed and ready for the day.

I moved to my dresser opposite the bed and picked up my stele, and sketching a quick iratze over my arm I felt the pleasant sensation of the burning pain dulling to a numbness.

I looked in the mirror and nearly jumped out of my skin, Jace was standing just behind me, his face filled with a sadness I couldn't put my finger on.

"I didn't know."

He said quietly.

I turned around so I was facing him now,

"Know what?"

I asked back, a lump forming in my throat.

"That your father still affects you so much. I didn't know, I should have asked you about it."

His jaw was clenched as he spoke.

Gently, I took his hands in mine and brought them to my lips to kiss them slowly.

I then returned his gaze,

"I'm quite good at hiding when I'm in pain, Jace, it's ok."

My words clearly did not affect him at all,

"Look, no sulking ok. No negative thoughts of 'I'm the worst boyfriend in the world'."

I joked, earning a small smirk from his lips.

"I could sulk for the olympics actually, I 've been considering it."

I glared at him dubiously.

Suddenly his face went all serious again,

"But Clary you have to promise me that you will try and talk to me about these things, I want to be there for you, ok?"

This time he brought my hands to his lips and laid a gentle kiss on each of them,

"I promise I'll try."

I answered back.

He stared straight in my, trying to gage whether I was just saying it to make him happy or whether I actually meant it.

Whatever he saw in me he seemed satisfied, as he then spoke aloud exclaiming,

"Chop chop Instructor, can't be running late for your class now."

He joked.

I pecked him on the cheek as I walked past him to grab my leather jacket hanging up on the wardrobe door,

"Be good Blondie, i'll see you later!"

I called back to him as I walked out the door.

Sorry there wasn't too much action here.

But I really wanted to open Clary up to you guys more, let me know what you thought.

Your reviews honestly mean the world, thank you so much to those who review after every chapter!

Song 7 ~ Godzilla - Eminem & Juice Wrld