It's all you can do to keep from crying as she makes her way up to the stage. The escort has to call her name once, twice, three times before she moves. Bella Kristoff, says Julius, Bella, Bella, Bella.
She looks so small up there, as smiles down at everyone – and there's a stir in the crowd as they realise who she is. Bella, the sweet, simple girl, who has the mind of a much younger child. Bella, who doesn't even know what the Hunger Games are, protected by her parents her whole life.
You don't think you could live with yourself if you let her go to the Capitol. It would mean certain death for her – and maybe you have a chance, maybe you could make it. You have a better chance than Bella, after all. Your stomach churns and your hand trembles as you raise your hand – and your voice cracks as you say the words.
"I volunteer."
0o0o
So brave, Julius tells you, pinching your cheeks. So brave.
You don't feel brave. Tears pour down your cheeks and you tremble like a leaf as you stand there, on the stage, everyone staring up at you. Bella looks at you, confused, and hugs you once around the waist before a Peacekeeper drags her away, crying because she doesn't know what's going on.
What's your name? Julius asks, pushing you in front of the microphone. What's your name, darling?
"Calico York," you say, willing yourself not to burst into sobs because you're going to the Hunger Games, and you're almost certainly going to die.
0o0o
Why'd you do it, your parents ask when they come to visit. Why'd you do it, Calico?
And you don't know how to answer, you don't know how to explain it. Sure, Bella's your friend, but no one volunteers in Eight. No one, certainly not skinny fourteen-year olds from Factory Town.
So you shrug, and you hug them as they cry.
Why'd you do it?
You don't know.
0o0o
Cecelia and Bobbie and Woof are even nicer than they seem on television, and for a moment you think it's worth it, getting to talk to the Victors you have admired for so long. Cecelia tells you all about her baby son, and Bobbie tells you all about Capitol shenanigans. Woof doesn't say much, but he smiles, and for the second time in your life, you feel seen.
When you see the food, you and your district partner can't help but smile at each other. It's better than anything you've ever seen, and maybe volunteering wasn't such a bad idea if you get to have at least a week of good food.
0o0o
You're not good at anything in training, which isn't surprising. You can run, but nowhere near as fast as any of the Careers. You can make knots, but they only taught you how to make fabric in Eight, not how to make traps, and your fingers stumble over the twine, so different to what you're used to. You don't recognise any plants – Eight is an industrial district, the streets clogged with factory fumes. There's nowhere for anything to grow, not even the children.
You get a three, and you wonder why you thought you'd ever have a chance.
0o0o
Why'd you do it, Caesar asks. Who is Bella?
"Bella's my friend. Bella doesn't deserve to die."
You don't know it then, but your words are what gets Cecelia to finally agree to Bobbie and Woof's pestering, despite her fear. She joins the rebellion that same night, while you're lying awake in bed, dreading what the morning will bring.
0o0o
You don't make it far. Your plan was to run in the opposite direction of the Bloodbath, but there was a backpack so close, only a few metres off the pedestal. You thought you could reach it, and certainly risking a few moments to get a backpack is better than running off into the arena, with no skills and no tools to help you survive. And the arena is daunting, the most horrifying one you've seen yet, with its ruined, smoking buildings and zombie mutts wandering around in the distance. Maybe you only think it's so terrible because this time, you're not watching. This time, you're a part of it.
So you run. You grab the backpack, and you turn around, and you've almost made it out when the girl from One appears, sneaking up behind you.
Poor little lamb, she says. She almost seems sympathetic. You die quickly, a knife between your eyes. You're glad it was quick. You knew you wouldn't win anyway.
0o0o
The girl from One wins that year, against all odds – the rest of the Careers turned against her within days, not trusting her, because her twin brother won the year before. She was stealing all the sponsors, they say, but it doesn't matter what the reason is. They die anyway.
Cashmere smiles, and tosses her long blonde hair over her shoulder as she marches onto the stage, and you've almost been forgotten already.
0o0o
They forget you quickly, and what you did. Just another dead girl from Eight, you are. Just another poor, foolish dead girl.
Bella Kristoff is reaped again two years later. This time, no one volunteers.