A/N: This is something serious I need to share with my readers. If you have been here since the start of the series I want to express my appreciation for you. You are the reason I kept this going for so long and the reason I put in so much work to make my stories good for you. However I have some bad news, My family whom I recently saw have all tested positive for COVID, someone they had let live with them didn't take the Virus seriously and they all got it and now I am at risk for getting it. I have a test out right now to figure out if I do have it but since I have been feeling really tired for reasons I can't pin point I thought I would preface this for my viewers.
I am a High risk person for COVID, I have a lot of health issues and I know I wouldn't make it through if I got it and if I do it'll be rough. SO I am letting you know this right now as I am going to be trying to write and publish these chapters as fast as I can so you get an ending. If I stop uploading for more than a month (which I refuse to do if i can help it) then I would unfollow this story and myself because at that point I am no longer around. I know this seems morbid but I refuse to just leave a story unfinished with no answer for the amazing people who have stuck around. I really will be trying to finish this story as fast as I can so that you guys don't get stuck. I Just can't make any promises.
Next morning-Dick
I haven't slept. It was touch and go for about an hour, it's the risk of not bringing her to a hospital. She made it out okay though, now it's just her resting and getting through the tough parts of letting herself heal before she does anything else. However I still found it hard to get sleep, I kept waiting by the medical table for her to wake up or just in case she wasn't healing. Cyborg and Gar did the same, we used the time to catch up and talk about anything except the events of the night before.
I wonder why she didn't come get us, tell us what happened or how she knew to go there. She just left to face this by herself. After almost two weeks of not taking care of herself properly to even be able to face anything like she did. I feel more frustrated than anything trying to figure out everything at once but not having any answers. Raven should be done self healing any minute now, however her eyes still stay lightly closed, the side of her uniform cut wide open from needing to for some reason I won't understand cut her open.
"How is Lil Rae doing?" I Ask hoping to take my mind off the floating girl in the corner of the room. Garfield smiles.
"She is doing good, she's getting so big. Still no powers which I am okay with. I don't think I am ready for her to start using powers" Gar says with a smirk
"Has she started asking weird shit, I heard from another parent that kids say the most random fucking things" I ask Cy begins laughing shaking his head to himself. Obviously they have already witnessed her say some things.
"I don't think I could explain it to you. You need to come over more so that you can see for yourself. It's...something else" Gar says proudly.
Raven breaking oddly is what grabbed our attention, we all turn over to her silently to hear the breathing pattern. It seems more normal now that we are paying attention, it could be our own anxieties making us think something is wrong when it isn't. A part of me as wanted to go see Jason, talk to him and make sure he is really him. Though with how he left things I would think he wants to be alone. He seemed pretty upset. I don't blame him for being so upset. Even I have thought about how easy it would be if we just put the bad guys six feet under instead of just allowing them to keep coming back and ruining more lives.
"I know he didn't want to do it...but I still want to beat the shit out of him" Cy says breaking the silence I didn't know had built.
"Trust me I know what you mean. I don't understand why she didn't come get one of us...why go alone? She had a vision of this happening" I say Gar's ears perked up
"She had a vision?" Gar asks
"Yeah, when she first came back to Gotham to help us...she had a vision of him killing her. Without context it looked like he was working for Joker. We didn't know how long he was or anything. We didn't know when so the initial time we were going to face up with the Joker...Raven stayed behind" I explain looking over at her, her chest slowly rising and falling.
"I don't understand why you guys didn't lock him up right there" Cy says
"We didn't know the context, we tried to see his behavior. We wire tapped his phone and he wasn't talking to anyone. We didn't know anything but the vision. When she didn't go we thought we were in the clear until the gas went off...that's when we figured it out" I explain Cy huffs, he doesn't agree with how we handled it. To be honest I am not sure if I agree with either. If we would have let him stay home we could have prevented this whole thing. For some reason we didn't think of it. Family really does fuck you in the end.
"How do we know he's not still under Joker's control?" Gar asks, it's a fair question.
"He fought through it. We were hoping the pit would help him fight through the effects of the gas without hurting him much more. It is designed to kill after a while. I know that Raven will make it through this...I just don't know if Jason will mentally pull himself out of this" I say, their eyes fall to their laps. Sure they have to know this is harder for Jason knowing he did this to her.
Raven stirs from her space groaning slightly as she creases her forehead. Her hand going to her forehead. We jump into action surrounding her, Cyborg puts a blood pressure cuff on her upper arm beginning taking it. She looks over to him lightly her eyes squinting under the bright lights of the medbay.
"Vic?" She asks softly he shushes her looking at the numbers that blink onto the screen. I don't understand anything about them. He releases her arm and marks something down onto his arm tablet. "Vic what are you doing here?"
"Keeping you from dying" He replies
"Where is-"
"He's in the manor." I reply before she could ask she looks to me her eyes adjusting to the lights slightly more.
"Is he okay?" She asks, Gar scoffs but doesn't say anything
"You'll see him after we make sure you won't die in your sleep" Cy says marking something out, she rolls her eyes as he guides her to sit up. "We don't know the extent to your injuries or where you are at with healing so I need you to follow the light"
She does so watching his finger flashlight move side to side. He checks off something else and sits up looking her up and down before shaking his head and wrapping his arms around her tightly. She is surprised at first but wraps her arms around him back. She rubs small circles into the metal of his back.
"Vic I'm okay" She says he nods standing up and adjusting his posture.
"I don't like having to cut into my friends Rae, I don't like having to save your life. I really don't like not being able to pummel the person responsible either" He says
"It isn't his fault" She replies
"No you're right, it's yours. What the hell were you thinking going alone?" I ask she shoots me a look
"He called me, he told me he didn't know where he was and he needed to get out of there before Joker figured out he was missing. I didn't think I had time." She says
"No you just weren't thinking. You had a vision of him killing you. You knew he was under the influence of that gas and you went by yourself somewhere where that vision could have come true. He could have killed you" I snap back, I didn't realize how angry I was with her until just now.
"He didn't" She replies I groan loudly
"You didn't know that though! How close was he to killing you? How close?" I ask she rolls her eyes getting off of the medical table putting a hand on her side. She looks down at the cut fabric.
"We had to do it, you had internal bleeding...he kicked you pretty hard" Vic says she presses her lips together nodding.
"It doesn't matter how close he came. He didn't do it" Raven replies I shake my head
"You just love this don't you? You like being in danger. It's the only thing I could think of. You put yourself in these shitty positions where you either get kidnapped or beaten up by your ex boyfriend" I spit Cyborg snaps his head to me as does Gar. Rae doesn't look at me. Her eyes trained on the floor.
"So I got myself kidnapped? I did that right Dick? I can admit that I shouldn't have gone by myself and if I did I should have made sure I was strong enough to handle it. But don't bring him up. Don't tell me it's my fault that happened" She snaps
"Raven you do this shit to yourself all the time. You make us worry about you...you went on a three year drinking binge where we were all worried about none stop. Now that isn't the case it seems you keep putting yourself in these situations where you get hurt and we are left worrying about you again" I say back, I don't know if I even believed what I was saying or where it was coming from, I just knew I had these words just pouring out of me.
"I was ALONE DICK! You guys kicked me out...left me on the damn street while I was fighting not to remember anything! What happened with Jason doesn't have any correlation to that! He was forced to hurt me by the Joker. No one chose anyone over me to put me in that situation" She spits Vic and Gar take a couple steps back unsure on what they could say.
"What if you died Raven? Are you okay with what that would have done to Jason? Or me?" I ask she scoffs
"You? What about you? Why is this about you?" She asks scoffing
"Because I love you and you were just okay with dying and leaving me" I say, I regret it the moment I said it. She stares wide eyed at me, she knew I was in love with her back then but I don't think she knew about now, I don't think she knew it never stopped no matter how much I tried to make it stop. It could be how tired I am, the reason why everything seems to be pouring out of me now. The light shatters above us and we are in darkness. Cyborg shines flashlight out but Raven isn't here anymore.
"Dude..." Gar says I huff and begin walking to the manor, they follow.
Present Day-Raven
The anger I seem to be feeling is more mixed with confusion and the wish I could forget everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours. Hell, I want to forget everything this passed month. I look around the seemingly empty Manor. It always looks super empty here, it reminds me of the Tower in that way. Such a big place for so few people. It feels like so few people at least. The sound of thunder rumbling outside sends chills down my exposed side. I play with the fabric trying to pull it closed but it doesn't budge so I allow my cloak to close in the front hoping that it blocks out the cold air.
The first place I want to go is my bedroom, I don't even know why. I just know right now I need to take a breath. Change into something a lot more comfortable for me to lounge in.
Dick's words still echo in my head, everything seemed to be getting more complicated and I didn't want to handle it. How could he claim he loves me but says things like he did. Accuse me of purposely putting myself in situations like I have been in. I can admit I should have used my brain when Jason called, I should have eaten more and got my strength up. I know it was stupid of me, however I didn't do it intentionally and not for the reason Dick seems to think I did it for. I open the door to my room inhaling deeply at finally being in my comfort area. It takes me a minute to register the man laying on my bed. It shocks me for a moment. Jason sleeping peacefully his hands wrapped around a pillow and his legs tucked slightly.
I don't try to wake him, I think he needs the sleep. Who knows how much sleep he got working under control of Joker. I let him sleep opening my closet door as quietly as I can. I disrobe, throwing my now tattered uniform onto the floor. I still have dried blood on the side of my body, probably from whenever they cut me open. I look down at it glaring at the dried blood. I try to scrape some of it off with my fingernail but all it does is leave a red mark down my side. I give up turning to my closet and grabbing a dark blue long sleeve from the hanger. I throw on some black leggings as well, it feels good to be moving around, my head is killing me and I think I am just now realizing how hungry I am.
"Raven?" A deep sleepy voice says from the bed, I turn around my heart skipping every other beat when my eyes fall onto Jason's face. The guilt shows on the corners of his mouth and inside his eyes.
"I didn't mean to wake you" I say he shakes his head sitting up putting a hand on the side of his head.
"You didn't, I think...I think I felt someone in here. The Pit has been extra sensitive today" He admits, I nod sitting on the edge of my bed next to him, he scoots further away from me and closer to the head of the bed.
"Jason you know I don't blame you right." I say, it's true I don't blame him.
"I hit you. You have PTSD from being tortured among other things by a man and I as someone who said I would never do that to you...I tried to kill you. You can't just forgive me and act like it was nothing. It was something" He says, I suck in a breath and hold it for a moment. Tortured among other things is truly the lightest way I have ever heard anyone put it.
"You think I wasn't scared Jason? Do you think it's not weird for me to sit here next to you remembering what happened?" I ask he looks up to me, there is no glow behind his eye. Just pain.
"I knew you were. I could see it. I could feel you shake when I grabbed you" He admits my eyes wonder away from him and to the rest of the room. "Raven you have to know that I would never do that to you if I had a choice. It killed me inside to even.."
"I know Jay, I know" I reply looking back to him. He gives me a slight boyish smile before looking down at his lap.
"You haven't called me Jay in a while." He observes
"Jay listen, yes it was hard. I know it's hard for you right now too...I just want you to know that even though it was hard and I was...actually scared. I forgive you" I say fidgeting with my finger in my lap. He doesn't say anything at first allowing for the silence to fill in-between us. It doesn't feel like uncomfortable silence, it's more like I can feel the wheels in his head turning as much as mine are. If we are both being honest, we don't know where to go from here. This isn't exactly the perfect love story. You don't normally willfully date the man who tried to kill you.
"You called me baby" He says finally I crease my brow looking to him in confusion.
"What?" I ask
"When I had that gun...pointed at you. You said 'it's okay baby, it's okay' I think that's what really pulled me out. You called me baby" He says, I don't even remember calling him that. I guess it just came out. It seemed natural maybe?
"I guess I did" I answer, I don't know what else I could say
"What a cluster fuck this is. We break up...stay friends...live together. Then I hurt you, and now we both are confused" He says, I laugh
"Yeah...you wanna know what makes it better?" I ask my tone much lighter
"Hm?"
"Dick told me he loves me. After accusing me of fishing for attention and purposely getting kidnapped and beaten by you" I say, Jason scoffs shaking his head
"Yup. ClusterFuck"
"Clusterfuck indeed"
present day-Duke
Wincing at the pain I move the ice pack from my eye trying to give myself a break from the freezing cold against my throbbing eye. It seems almost swollen shut by how little I could see out of it. I put the ice back on my eye looking around the social workers office. She had left fifteen minutes ago and hasn't been back yet. It feels like maybe it's on purpose. I can't help but think about how my mother used to care for any wounds and bumps I got doing football.
My leg bounces in front of me, I can't tell if I am anxious or if I am just restless. Sitting here for so long waiting to hear about what we do from now on. I hear the clicking of heels as the scent of my Social workers perfume fills the air mixed with the scent of stale coffee. She walks from behind me sitting into the chair and scooting it up to her desk. She sets a comical mug down on the table. It's cute, a small cat sitting on a couch.
"Duke...why did you do it?" She asks, her voice sounds concerned but I know better. I know she just doesn't want to have more trouble at her job. She doesn't care. "You know we have to re-home you right? we can't send you back there"
"He got in my face." I reply swallowing hard.
"I don't know where we are going to put you Duke. Having a kid attack a foster parent is...bad. Not many people will want that risk" She says I roll my eyes.
"So it doesn't matter that he was touching little girls" I ask, she nibbles on the bottom of her lip staring at me.
"Duke, you are a good person. I know why you did it morally. I just don't know why you would risk losing one of the only homes you have right now" She says I scoff releasing the ice pack off my eye once more to cross my arms against my chest.
"No where will be my home."
"Look, I know this is hard, but I need you to really try to make this work. You can't bounce from home to home. It's not healthy. I don't want that for you" She says folding her leg across her other. She leans forward in a poor attempt to connect with me. I know all the signs by now. At least I think I do.
"I don't want this for me either. You know what I want? My parents. I want to go home. I want the police in this town to fucking do something!" I almost shout. She purses her lip sitting back in her chair. It squeaks when she does so.
"They did fail you. I am trying not to do the same by trying to find you a home" She says, I bite back the reply I want to give her. Not because I don't want to say it but, I don't know what it would accomplish.
"If you are that concerned about me can you tell the police to go back to their station then. I'm not gonna attack you. Unless you touch little boys" I say she sighs looking behind me at the two officers who have been guarding her office door. She looks like she is debating if she should do that or not. Which tells me more about her than I thought it would. She's afraid of me in some way that's for sure. I don't let it bother me too much. I hear the dispatch on their radios come through from behind me.
"We got a 507 in progress right now." the staticky voice comes through their radios
"507?" the officer to the right says back into the radio
"A couple of black folk trying to crawl into a storm drain. They are shouting at people and don't seem all there. You are the closest" They come back through the radio, my stomach churns.
"We need backup?" They ask
"Only two of them. One male, one Female." They reply I turn around in my chair making eye contact with the two officers. They nod buzzing into their radio
"We'll be there"
"10/4"
I look back to my social worker and she see's the look in my eyes. She presses her lips together and shakes her head.
"Duke, you realize it's probably not them right? I don't think you should worry yourself like that. If it is them you need to trust they will grab them and take them to the hospital" She tells me, I know she thinks she is right but I don't think that she really knows if they will do so. Why would my mom be going down a sewer drain? She used to be the most clean person, nothing could be out of place. She always smelled like fresh soap.
She loved the look of a clean kitchen and floors. I don't understand what would draw her to the dirtiness of the sewers. It kind of makes me feel better thinking that it might not be my mother if that's the case. However the sinking feeling I have in my gut tells me otherwise. One things is for sure. I cannot allow them to put me into another home. I need to find my parents. I will.