I've been worried about Dad. He seems different, he seems more jolly? No more swearing at every car driving by and he's nice to those pushy salespeople at the malls. I mean... what the hell.
Not only that but he seems to know everybody's name. I'll talk about anyone in school or we'll pass someone on the street and he'll know everything about them. It's been getting even weirder this past month. He drags me to Christmas shops every time I visit, just to look at things, never buys.
It started right after New Year's. He hasn't been the same, he has gained weight and his hair started going grey in a matter of months. It's been two weeks since I saw him last because things have been tense between Dad, Mom, and Neal.
Charlie's illusion about Dad being Santa cooled down early in the year, but as Christmas has been nearing it's all he talks about. He talks about the dream we experience Christmas Eve still, blasting Christmas music at all times in his room, and even telling kids at school that Dad is Santa. Charlie has been being bullied for it. He comes home in tears almost every day now.
Dad, Mom, Neal, and I tried convincing Charlie it wasn't true but no luck. About three weeks ago Dad took Charlie on a walk to talk about it. He made Charlie promise to keep it a secret but that didn't last because I know about it.
In the back of my mind, I know that dream was real. I just can't get myself to admit it. I mean it's stupid to think the three of us possibly had the same dream. I just don't know what to believe anymore, my heart or head.
The evidence is all there. I know Dad wouldn't do this to hurt us or attempt to get Charlie closer to him.
Sitting in the back seat of the car with Mom and Neal, I hear them bickering. I can hear them over my music. Dad took Charlie to his soccer game today and we are picking him up. I turn off my music and pull out my headphones as we neared the soccer field. "-he's acting ridiculous Neal, he's making Charlie delusional." Mom says to Neal biting her nails anxiously. I lean forward and place my hand on her shoulder "Mom seriously it's not a big deal, it'll all blow over." I reassure her lying through my teeth as we pull on the curb of the soccer field.
Charlie's game already started. I could see him running after the ball in his green jersey. Poor kid gets pushed around during the games, definitely don't see rugby in his future.
Unbuckling my seatbelt I throw my headphones and walkman into my brown leather side bag opening the door and stepping out. I straighten out my red sweater and realize I need Mom to tighten the straps of my overalls."Hey, Mom can yo-" I stop mid-sentence seeing Dad with children on the park bench. They are all lined up taking turns talking to him on his lap like the Santa's at the mall. I raise my hand to cover my open mouth. Mom and Neal begin marching to the field through the kids playing soccer.
Snapping out of my shocked state I slam the door and run to catch up to them. "Oh my god." Mom mutters grabbing onto Neal's arm for support. Now closer to Dad I see he has gained even more weight and his hair is longer with a full beard.
"Dad oh my god. I-I don't, w-what." I gasp nearly dropping my bag. I grab hold of Mom's arm.
He takes the little girl off his lap and walks up to us "Hi. Hey, this probably looks pretty odd, doesn't it? These kids lined up all by themselves." Letting out a nervous laugh. I keep staring at him wide-eyed nervously rubbing my hands together.
I see Neal reach into his pocket staring at him like a science project "I think it's safe to say you're taking this Santa thing to an unhealthy level. Here's my card. Call me." Dad takes the card and drops it on the ground shaking his head.
Mom steps in front of me guarding me from Dad blocking my view of him. "Scott, l-I really have to tell you that this is beginning to scare me. I never in my wildest- Well, no, okay, maybe my wildest- But certainly never in my normal dreams would l-But then this is Scott we're talking about and l-It's just I never thought you would stoop to changing your physical appearance in order to make Charlie like you." She rages on "Do you have any concept of how dangerous this is to Aria and Charlie?" She demands.
Dad throws his hands up in defense. "Whoa, whoa. "How dangerous"? Aria is a teenager, she knows better, and Charlie is a child with imagination. Right Aria?" He looks around Mom to see me still staring at him. I shake my head 'yes' slowly making my hair cover my now red face. I see Mom glare at me from my side.
Charlie, leaving his game, runs to us. "Mom, what's the matter?" He asks, grabbing a hold of Mom and I's arms. Mom turns us both around grabbing our hands dragging us back to the car. I stumble trying to walk through the other kids playing soccer "You let him stay. I'll go." Dad yells protesting.
Mom turns her head around still dragging us with her "If you don't get your act together, Scott, so help me-" She points her finger at him not finishing her sentence. She huffs and spins back around.
My heart breaks when I get to the car and turn around seeing Dad's face. I feel tears well up and I wave at him "I love you Dad!" I yell. I see his lips lift in an attempt to smile "Love you too Aria." He calls back. I give him another long glance before getting in the car. "Aria? Whose side are you on?" Mom turns around asking me. I roll my eyes pulling my headphones out once again. Staring out the window I see a single snowflake land and a tear escapes.
Why can't I turn back time? I wish Mom and Neal believed Dad then everything could be okay. I hear Charlie sniffle beside me, he's crying. I turn my head to look at him, my own eyes are bloodshot from holding back tears. He senses that I'm looking at him and lifts his head meeting my eyes.
His face is red and tears stain his cheeks. My face drops, even more, unbuckling my seatbelt. I switch to the middle seat to sit next to Charlie. Reaching over I brush his hair out of his eyes and pull him into my side. Leaning my head onto his "It's okay Charlie, I believe you, I remember." I whisper my voice breaking. I feel him wrap his arms tighter around me "I love you Aria." He says in a small voice.
"I love you too Charlie, always." I remind him and stare out the window the rest of the way home.
Charlie and I locked ourselves in our rooms as soon as we got him. Mom managed to get Charlie to go downstairs for dinner but I refused. Watching reruns of Seinfeld to pass the time.
Laying on my bed I pull the blankets tighter around me. I sat on my bed eating out of the food drawer that I have been collecting for months. God, I will never get tired of Dunkaroos. I sit up when I suddenly hear voices, Mom and Neal. They sound like they are coming from outside.
Brushing the crumbs off my bed I drag myself to my feet and walk over to my window. Kneeling on my blue cushioned window seat, I slowly open the window careful not to make any noise. I look out at the front yard watching Mom and Neal talk, holding white coffee mugs sitting on the brick walkway steps. I step out onto the porches' roof barefoot and slowly walk down it at an angle. Lowering my hands down to help me sit down near the edge. I rub my hands against my black sweatpants to warm myself up.
"What I can't believe is that he would go behind our backs all this time, confusing Charlie again I-I can't even imagine how Aria is feeling." Mom says, sounding overwhelmed and shaking her head. Neal leans into her wrapping his arm around her "I-I What are we- What are we supposed to do?" She finishes looking up at him.
I scoff "How about nothing." I mutter looking down playing with my black painted nails rocking side to side. "Well, there's one obvious alternative." Neal implies shrugging his shoulders. My head shoots up at this. "Take the kids away from Scott? Is that a good idea?" She asks, I nearly fall off the roof hearing this. No, she wouldn't? No, she can't! I feel my breathing increase and my heart starts hammering.
Neal stands up and looks down at Mom offering his hand. She grabs onto it and he helps her stand up. "Laura, look what he's done, Charlie is a mess, and Aria is wrapped up in the middle of it all. I mean the man thinks he's Santa Claus. They shouldn't have to go through this." He reaches out to her giving a comforting hug.
Ugh, the nerve he has! He's going to ruin everything! "I suppose you're right, I'll call my lawyer tomorrow." Breaking out of the hug they walk into the house together closing the front door.
I quickly stand up and jump through the window back into my room. Tears start to spill out of my eyes. "Oh my god. This can't be happening!" I cry out, pacing back and forth. I feel myself overheating and grab onto my red sweater and quickly pull it off, throwing it across my room leaving me in my white t-shirt and unclipped overalls.
How could they take us away from Dad! I don't get what's so bad about this all. If they would just listen to us none of this would be happening! But no, of course, Neal has to stick his nose into everything.
My hands start pulling at each other, not knowing what to do with myself my mind goes back to the dream. Bernard, the bell! I run to my cherrywood dresser opening the top drawer and pull out the box that held the bell I found Christmas morning. Taking it out I begin playing with it in my hands remembering what Bernard told me. I move to sit on my desk chair and feel my breathing calm down as I focus on listening to it jingle.
Tears continue to fall from my eyes but my body has calmed. "Oh Bernard, I know you aren't real but I wish you could be here right now" I sniffle laughing at how ridiculous that sounded,
"Aria?" I hear from the corner of my room behind me, my whole body tenses up as I recognize the voice. Dropping the bell onto the desk I slowly turn my body around.
My eyes go wide and relief washes over me "Bernard?" I quickly stand up from the chair "It's true? It really wasn't a dream?" I slowly walk over to him until I'm directly in front of him.
His lips curl up into a small smile nervously rubbing his neck. "Took you long enough to realize it hm?" He laughs. I launch myself into him giving him a bone-crushing hug. "It feels so nice to not be crazy." I giggle, and for the first time, he tightens his arms around me.