Chapter 8

Ash's POV

Shuî doesn't weigh much more than my brother.

I didn't mean to hurt him like I did. I knew I had to win, but I didn't realize by doing so, I'd crack his ribcage.

When I take him to the infirmary, everyone's on alert. "I think I cracked a couple of his ribs." Why does it hurt to talk?

"Here, lay him down on this cot." As soon as I set him down, a male nurse not much taller than Crimson drags me away, so I have no idea what they're doing to him.

"Christ, I didn't realize that initiates got his rough this early on." He hastily takes me to my own cot, practically shoving me down. "I'm going to have to readjust your jaw, it's going to hurt."

Oh. So that's- "Fuck!" I yell. I didn't even notice it get hurt, so why does fixing it have to hurt.

"Hey, Alexa, can you toss me an ice pack and some pain killers?" The nurse as. I notice his name tag. Aster. Neat name.

When he meant toss, he literally meant toss. At least he didn't ask for a scalpel. Though, I'm sure catching one properly wouldn't be an issue for a Dauntless member. "Here, take these. You're free to go back to training whenever the painkillers kick in." He flips a lock of curly light brown hair out of his eyes and leaves, probably to take care of the duo who just came in.

The meds kick in quick, which is a relief. I hold the ice pack to the spot where he punched me. I didn't think he had it in him, at least when I started the fight. But as I was circling him in the ring, I realized something.

That fucker was holding back.

I'm sure most people thought he was just scared to strike, and I'm sure he was, but not for the reasons most would assume. I think he was scared of hurting me, and frankly, I'm insulted. He thinks I'm not strong enough to use his full potential on? He got himself hurt with that mindset. That one punch he didn't pull was how he should have been fighting the whole match. At least with Crimson, it wouldn't matter if he was trying or not, because the result would still be the same.

Why did Crimson follow me? It sounds wrong, I know, but I had accepted that we were going to drift apart and almost excited that I wouldn't have to coddle him all the time. At least back in Erudite, I had Will and Sebastian to help me deal with him, but Sebastian stayed behind and Will's already found new friends.

Things would have been so much better if he'd just gone to Amity where he belongs. I wouldn't have to worry about him. Here, he's going to get his ass kicked, and if I want to make it into Dauntless, there's nothing I can do.

I shouldn't have told him I'm Divergent. Then, maybe he wouldn't have worried so much.

Divergent. Even just thinking the word sends shivers down my spine. I know people can't read minds, but if what Natalie said was true, than even wearing that fear on my face could mean my death.

How was I supposed to know that choosing both the knife and the cheese wasn't normal? Wouldn't everyone want to be as prepared as possible? Both were useful. The cheese calmed the dog when it attacked me, and when it went feral and attacked Crimson, the knife helped me subdue it. Why is choosing both options a bad thing? If anything, it just shows that I'm smart and fit best in Erudite.

Then again, I can't imagine Sebastian or Crimson stabbing the dog. That's a Dauntless trait.

Why do they kill people like me, anyway? I can't imagine a situation where being naturally good at more than one thing would be detrimental. Is it a question of loyalty? Because even though I'm smart, fuck Erudite. I'm not that smart. Not the kind of smart that they need.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by one of the loudest laughs I've ever heard. Is that… Shuî? Have I even heard him laugh before? I get up and head over to his cot, and holy shit, how is laughing that hard not hurting him?

I turn to the pink haired nurse, Nurse Janet, and ask, "What did you do to him."

"Poor boy weighs too little for his height." She clicks her tongue and shakes her head. "We tried to approximate the amount of painkillers to give him, but we must have given him too much." She turns to me. "Say, do you know what faction he comes from?"

"Abnegation."

"Bless his little heart, he's never had any sort of pain relief in his life." She sighs and walks away. I swear I hear her mutter something about what's on his back.

I turn to him, and good Jesus, he's loopy. "You good, man?"

He smiles real big. "I never knew that pain could just vanish like this."

Christ, that's concerning. I've always thought Abnegation was corrupt, but never his bad. I shake my head. Now's not the time for pity. I pull up a chair and sit next to him. Training can wait a bit. "You were holding back in our fight, weren't you?"

His face falls. "I didn't want to hurt you."

Of course he didn't. Perfect, selfless Shuî, who's willing to take a beating just so a guy he met two days ago doesn't get hurt. I would have believed he was weak if it wasn't for my jaw.

I remove the ice pack from my jaw to show him what he did. "That's bullshit. These fights are ranked, and you'll lose points for that attitude."

He looks down, and I notice a spot where the eyeliner didn't wash off his cheek properly.

"Look, next time we fight, you better not pull that weak shit. I'm not just here for fun, I want to get into Dauntless. I'm not going to get points if you don't put up more of a fight."

"And what if I win, huh?" He sets his jaw and looks straight at me.

"Then I'll have lost in a fair fight." I shrug.

He doesn't seem to know how to respond. It's not a big deal. I get up. It's time to get back to training anyway. As I'm leaving, his voice faintly says "Hey, Ash?"

I turn around. "Yeah."

"Sorry about your jaw."

I grin. Fuck, that hurts. I'm not going to show it though. "You better do more next time."

He grins too, then relaxes back into the cot.

"Oh, Ash." It's Nurse Janet. "He'll be okay to return to training after lunch if you're still doing target practice. I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you brought him his lunch. After all, for someone who's injured, it's a long walk to the Canteen."

"I'll make sure to bring him something, then." I nod then leave.

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I half expect Crimson to ask me to wish him luck. It wasn't uncommon back at home. But when he doesn't, I know why.

He doesn't want to win.

What a coward.

If he hadn't told me about what happened with Christina, I'd expect him to just surrender. I seriously don't understand why he came here. I'd be fine without him.

Surprisingly, Tris is an even worse fighter than he is. I don't know of I was expecting Shuî levels of strength, but she looks like she's never had to defend herself.

Hell, I could easily take half the people here. Crimson, Tris, and Myra would go down in one hit. Will, All, Christina, Molly, and Drew would be harder, but I'm reasonably confident I would win. My only real competition is Edward, Peter, and Shuî.

There's no way I won't make it into Stage Two. Not with opponent's like Crimson.

Maybe I'm glad Crimson's here. The more weak opponents I have, the further I distance myself from the bottom.

Am I really willing to sacrifice my brother for my own gain?

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A/N: yeah, I know this one is short, but it doesn't need to be long. We'll get more Ash chapters sprinkled throughout, especially towards the end.