A/N Happy Saturday and welcome back to Crackfic High for your weekly installment of trash. Thank you to those of you lovely enough to leave me reviews. I appreciate it more than you know. This week's chapter is a little shorter, but we're at a major plot point. Let me know what you think!

Episode Eight – Where Do I Go?

The internet was a pain in the ass. To Klaus' great annoyance, his performance had made its way onto YouTube and gone viral overnight. Enzo had arranged for a Town Car to take him to Hudson, but that still meant he had to deal with paparazzi from the doors of his fancy apartment building overlooking the park to the curb where his chauffeur was waiting. He exited the giant double glass doors to a swarm of paparazzi and gossip news reporters all crowding to get their microphones closest to his blank face.

"Was your song aimed at Davina?"

"I thought you supported her choices?"

"What happened to love and understanding?"

Klaus rolled his eyes behind his obligatory Thom Browne sun mirrored aviator sunglasses as he pushed through the mob. "The song was an assignment, nothing more. Davina's a lovely person and a dear friend, but the heart wants what it wants," he answered smoothly, smiling at the nearest camera with charming dimples, Sue Sylvester's screams of fury at America's 'Awws' echoing in the distance. With that mystery solved, the reporters changed tactics and pursued a new line of questioning as they interrogated the pop-rockstar while he slowly waded his way through the crowd.

"And what about the rumors that your heart beats for Caroline Forbes?"

"Will Klaroline live happily ever after now that Davina's out of the closet?"

Mercifully reaching the car at last, Klaus shielded himself from the savage reporters with the shiny black door. He offered one last answer before carefully climbing in to avoid hitting his beloved dark blonde curls, "Caroline is dating Stefan Salvatore and I wish them all the best." With one last flash of his dimples, he rolled up the tinted window and exhaled, already exhausted by the drama of the day.

Elena patted Caroline's hand when Klaus' mini-interview hit the web later that day. They had ducked out of science lab when the professor forgot to learn how to use a microscope. As usual, they were in the senior's auditorium. Aurora's piano was once again back in the rehearsal room where they sat on a plush forest green couch, their feet up on the comfy recliners extending out from the sofa. "It'll get better, Care. He'll come around."

Caroline scoffed and took a sip from her Unicorn Frappuccino through a biodegradable straw. "Yeah, that's not happening unless you come out about Stefan," she humphed tiredly. Casting her eyes to her friend, she cautiously asked, "Any chance of that happening anytime soon?" The brunette suddenly burst into tears, startling Caroline with the volume of her hysterics as noisy sniffles echoed around the small room. "Ok, ok, ok," she said quickly, holding up her hands in surrender. "You can keep your secret, jeez. It was just a question. Calm down. Your day will come."

Elena fiercely shook her head back and forth. "No, it won't," she sobbed. Caroline handed her a tissue, which she took gratefully and blew her nose with such force that the blonde was concerned her friend might be losing brain cells through her nostrils at this rate of dramatism.

"Look, Damon has his pills now, right?" she asked hopefully. Elena burst into a new bout of hysterics at the mention of those cursed blue tablets. "You've been saying forever that as soon as he can start having sex, he'll go back to fucking anything that moves, and you'll have your out. You know you have a standing offer to go stay with any number of people. You can leave him, Elena."

Again, the hand model lost control, this time crying so hard she began to hyperventilate. Caroline gently rubbed her back and waited for her to climb off the crazy train and tell her what was going on in her empty little head. Finally, she collected herself enough to reach into her back pocket. She handed Caroline a small black and white photograph. The blonde's hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened at the image. "You're pregnant?"

Elena wiped her red-rimmed eyes and nodded her confirmation. "Yeah, eight weeks."

Caroline's jaw dropped in horror. "Does Damon know it probably isn't his?"

Elena furiously shook her head. "NO!" she shouted quickly. "No, he has no idea about Stefan... but he's suspicious. That was right around when he got that bootleg Cialis from Thailand. There's a small chance that it is his... but you're right. It probably isn't. He could only do it once, and I showered right after."

"So, he knows about the baby?" the young singer asked, although it was more of a statement than a question.

Elena began to cry again as she nodded her head up and down. "Y-yeah," she sniffled. "H-he took m-me to the cl-clinic himself." Caroline gave her a minute to compose herself, handing back the ultrasound. Turning to her friend, the brunette explained, "He caught me throwing up yesterday morning. He was worried I might be bulimic."

"You mean he cared?" the new model scoffed snidely.

"Well," Elena said with a shrug that convinced no one of his genuine concern for her well-being, "he was worried it would ruin my gag reflex."

"Now that sounds like the Damon I know," she spat venomously. "El, he's a piece of shit. The last thing on earth you want is to have a kid with him, especially if it isn't even his."

"It wasn't always like this! It all started when he couldn't get it up anymore. It's not his fault. He still has some of his good points," she added defensively, trying to convince herself more than the girl beside her.

"Like what?" Caroline asked, crossing her arms over her chest. This was an old argument. It always went the same way. Elena would say something very blonde. Whoever was nearby would point out why she was an idiot, but it would fall on deaf ears. Rolling her eyes, the actual blonde conceded defeat. "Forget it. We won't go there. You know you need to get out. This can be your chance to break free and really be with Stefan once and for all."

"No," the future mother countered quickly.

"Elena, it isn't just about you anymore," Caroline said, exasperated. "You have to think of the baby."

"I am thinking about the baby!" she replied angrily. "If Damon finds out about Stefan, there's no telling what he'll do. I wish things could be different, but they can't. There's just no way. I have to call it off with him." She started to cry again, heart breaking in her chest. "I just hope he understands that he'll always be the one I want, even if we can't be together. I can't even look at Damon when we're in bed. I close my eyes and pretend he's Stefan."

"I know the feeling," Caroline agreed sadly, thinking of all the times she'd held hands with him in the halls to keep up appearances, wishing it had been Klaus at her side with every step.

"I know. I'm sorry, Care," Elena said sincerely, her heart hurting for all of them. If only she finally told the truth about Stefan, none of them would be in this mess. Life was so hard. Erectile dysfunction was a bitch.

"How are you gonna tell him?" Caroline asked quietly after a few minutes past in silence as they reflected on their misery. Elena looked at her incredulously, causing the blonde to roll her eyes. "By song, obviously. Why did I even ask?" she said sarcastically. "You know what you're gonna sing?"

Elena shook her head. "Not a clue. What are you singing today?"

Caroline sighed as she stood up, holding her hand out to the teenage stereotype. "I was going to do 'Sorry' by the Jonas Brothers, but I think a duet is in order. Come on. Let's go sing it out." Elena wiped her eyes one last time before taking her hand and following her friend to the stage. They were the last to arrive, half the club already having presented their assignments. Caroline walked over to Brad, the piano player who apparently had no life outside of following them around in case someone needed a melody, and whispered her song choice in his ever-willing ear. He nodded his head as began playing Katy Perry's heartbreaking ballad.

Elena set a second stool center stage, each girl taking a seat. The pregnant teen mournfully sang the first verse. "Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from a tree, I picked the ripest one. I still got the seed. You said 'Move on.' Where do I go? I guess second best is all I will know."

Caroline joined her for the first chorus, their soprano tones blending in perfect harmony. "Cause when I'm with him, I am thinking of you, thinking of you. What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night. Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes."

The angst-ridden blonde picked up the second verse solo, her voice cracking with the sound of heartbreak. "You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter; like a hard candy with a surprise center. How do I get better once I've had the best? You said there's tons of fish in the water. So, the waters I will test." She stopped to wipe a stray tear when she caught Klaus' eye. His gaze was hard and unyielding. He didn't believe a word. "He kissed my lips. I taste your mouth. He pulled me in. I was disgusted with myself." The tragic way she gulped and shook her head almost had the heartthrob believing she really meant the words she hadn't written... almost. However, the wise words they'd learned in 1990s R&B pushy female love songs week had taught the students that almost doesn't count.

Elena took Caroline's hand as their voices danced together. "Cause when I'm with him, I am thinking of you, thinking of you. What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night. Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes."

Caroline got up from her stool and pulled the mic from the stand. She slowly walked downstage to sing directly to Klaus. "You're the best, and yes, I do regret how I could let myself let you go. Now the lesson's learned. I touched it; I was burned. Oh, I think you should know."

Elena came up beside her and sang to Stefan. "Cause when I'm with him, I am thinking of you, thinking of you. What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night. Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes; looking into your eyes; looking into your eyes."

Caroline let Elena take the next line. "Oh, won't you walk through and bust in the door, and take me away?"

The brunette let her voice fade away as the blonde finished the final notes, her melody a whisper as she sadly trailed off. "Oh, no more mistakes, cause in your eyes I'd like to stay."

The members of the glee club politely clapped as the girls walked off the stage. Before they even sat down, both Klaus and Stefan got up and walked out of the auditorium. Elena sat down next to Caroline. Turning to her friend, she spoke with concern heavy in her tone. "That was really good, Care... but... Don't get mad, but I have to ask..." she began, but her words failed.

Looking at her friend in confusion, Caroline prodded her along. "Ask me what?"

"Have you been kissing Stefan?" she asked in a rush.

Caroline looked at her as though she were very slow. "I know pregnancy makes you emotional, but does it make you stupid, too?"

Elena let out her breath is a whoosh. "Just checking." Relief washed over her at the way her friend rolled her eyes. There was no world in which Caroline and Stefan could ever be a couple.