Bilba woke to the sound of a loud argument.

She lifted her head and saw Thorin standing near the edge of the campsite. A foot in front of him, barely reaching the height of his collarbone, stood Priscilla. She had a finger raised in Thorin's face and was loudly ranting about something. Behind her Seth, Adalgrim, Fili, and Kili were ranged in a half circle, observing.

Seth and Adalgrim looked nervous.

Dwalin was still back at his own campsite idly carving on a block of wood.

The scene was bizarre and so surreal Bilba assumed at first she was still asleep and having a rather insane dream.

"She almost died, you bastard. You sent her off in the middle of the winter and nearly got her killed and now you think you can just march over here and demand to talk to her? I don't think so!"

Fear surged through her as the words registered and Bilba jumped to her feet so fast that the blood rushed from her head and she swayed, black spots dancing in her vision. She staggered, one hand going out to try and find support.

An arm slid around her and she shot a look of gratitude at Kili who'd seen her and jumped to grab her before she fell.

"Priscilla!"

Instantly she had the attention of everyone at the camp, including Thorin.

Priscilla marched over and held something out to her. Bilba blinked and looked at it in confusion.

Her sketchpad.

"The dwarf I'm going to murder and bury in the garden wanted to return this," Priscilla said, cold anger coloring her tone. "You left it behind in Bree."

Bilba took the pad carefully. As she did her eyes flickered to Thorin. He in turn was looking down, to where Ash and Frerin were curled together on a blanket beside where she'd been sleeping.

Her stomach twisted at the look in his eyes.

He knew.

Her hand clenched on the sketchpad, fingers digging into the pages.

She'd dated her drawings.

Thorin, unfortunately, could count.

Bilba cursed mentally.

She'd sold out herself.

"Bilba," Thorin started to say but Priscilla cut him off.

"I think you've done more than enough, don't you? If you have the slightest hint of honor left in you then you can at least give her some time to gather herself can't you?"

Adalgrim made a strangled noise from where he stood, giving his mother a horrified look.

Thorin in turn looked…stricken and Bilba cursed again, this time at the small area of her heart that actually twisted in sympathy for him.

"Just go, Thorin," she said, "Please. I'll come speak to you in a while. I promise." Her voice wavered and she may have had a death grip on Kili but she met his eyes and kept her chin up.

Thorin gave a short nod and, with that, turned and headed back to Dwalin.

Bilba watched him go; startled he'd actually obeyed her. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she started hyperventilating.

He knew.

Such small, simple words and yet they were the realization of her worst nightmares. She was more terrified of him finding out than she was of the Nazgul.

The Nazgul only wanted her, not her children.

She looked over and saw Thorin had sat down next to Dwalin and was speaking to him.

She shivered. It was suddenly difficult to breathe and cold was racing through her.

He.

Knew.

It started up in her head like a chant.

He knows. He knows. HeKnowsHeKnowsHeKnowsValarHelpMeHeKnows.

Her legs buckled. Kili supported helped her sit back down next to the babies.

A second later she had the entire group gathered around her.

"Bilba?" Fili asked, crouching beside her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, forcing a smile. "I am, really."

Priscilla came and sat next to her and shot a look at the others. "Why don't you all go get breakfast ready and break camp? I'll help Bilba with the babies."

The others complied, though grudgingly. Fili and Kili went to the campfire to start putting together a meal while Adalgrim and Seth began packing up the meager supplies. Glorfindel and Aragorn still hadn't returned. Bilba hoped they were alright.

"I'm such an idiot," she whispered to Priscilla. "What am I going to do?"

Ashrin had woken up and was wiggling around on the blanket, preparing for his early morning pronouncement of being hungry and in need of changing, in that order. The changing would have to wait until she could get some water from the river but she put the sketchpad down and picked him up to feed him.

"Do you remember right after you lost your parents?" Priscilla asked suddenly and Bilba turned to look at her with a frown.

"Of course I do."

"You locked yourself in Bag End for weeks," Priscilla continued. "You wouldn't let any of us in."

"I was grieving," Bilba said, settling Ashrin into place to feed him. She pulled a blanket over herself as she did because she was currently surrounded by people she considered her family and had no desire to traumatize them or herself.

"You were trying to carry a massive weight by yourself," Priscilla corrected. "You've always had a habit of doing that, Bilba. You act as though you're completely alone and you never have been."

She indicated the rest of the group.

"Those creatures are after you, not any of them," Priscilla said gently, "yet they've all willingly put themselves in danger alongside you."

Bilba felt her eyes tear up and she looked down toward Ashrin to hide it. She could still remember how hard it had been to figure out how to feed them in Rivendell. She'd assumed it was as simple as holding the baby to her breast and things would just happen like they were supposed to. It had gone that way with Frerin, more or less, but when it came to Ashrin he wouldn't latch on and she hadn't been able to figure out how to get him to. It had eventually led to both of them crying, him from hunger and her from the conviction she was a terrible excuse for a mother. She'd still been in the Healing Ward at Rivendell at the time and the elven healer had heard her and left the room, returning shortly with an elven mother who had several adult children of her own. The woman had patiently sat with her and helped her learn how to do things she hadn't even realized she needed to do much less understood how to do.

That had been a complete stranger, a mental voice chided her, who'd willingly offered her aid when she needed it. Now here she was surrounded by family and she feared Thorin was somehow going to run over and rip the babies out of her arms.

She relaxed a little though her stomach still felt tied in knots.

She really didn't want to talk to him.

"So," Priscilla's voice came from beside her again, "what's the absolute worst thing you think can happen?"

Bilba tensed. She carefully settled Ashrin back down and picked Frerin up. Her stomach growled and she fought back a second flash of fear at how low their supplies were, even with the hunting Fili and Kili had been doing. Traveling from Rivendell to the Shire had been a pleasant experience. They'd had ponies and plenty of blankets and food.

Traveling on foot to Rivendell with only small stores of food and hardly any blankets for when the nights got cold was reminding her of the long months she'd spent traveling back from Erebor while heavily pregnant. Not to mention she had to eat enough to provide for both her own needs and the babies, all the while walking miles upon miles on low supplies. She was exhausted and the others knew it. It was part of the reason she more often than not found herself not carrying her boys anymore and why Fili and Kili would walk with their arms around her, giving her support as they moved. She was getting to the point where if one of them offered to carry her she'd probably accept.

"He could try to take one," she said finally, responding to Priscilla, "or both."

"He'd have those princes of yours at his throat," Priscilla countered, "along with me, Seth, Adalgrim, Glorfindel and Aragorn. What else?"

Bilba sucked in a shaky breath, trying to turn generalized fear into something concrete. "Um, he could ask to hold one and then not give him back."

"And then what?" Priscilla asked. "He wouldn't be allowed to leave and there's no way he hasn't realized you're still nursing them. He's too far from anywhere he could hope to find a wetnurse in time for them." She leaned forward to catch Bilba's eye. "Would he hurt them?"

Bilba remembered all the way back to the Treasury, worrying over whether or not Thorin would even want children.

Kili had assured her he would, that he'd be ecstatic.

She shot another look to where he was currently standing and leaning against a tree, watching her. He certainly didn't look particularly enthused but then it had probably been an understandable surprise to find out he was the father of seven month old twins.

Still, he had backed down at once when she'd asked him to.

She had to admit she'd never seen him raise a hand in violence toward a friend or ally, and that included her. Not even at the last when he'd said all those horrible things to her and thrown her out of Erebor.

She looked to where Kili was crouched over the small fire. Fili was standing over him, looking into the distance, probably wondering, like the rest of them, where Glorfindel and Aragorn were He took over leadership when the other two were gone, as naturally as breathing, and none of them questioned it. Fili and Kili were strong, hard-working and well trained. They were blooded royalty but held no airs, demanded no special treatment, were not prone to laziness. Both of them were well mannered, loyal and honorable. She knew a good portion came from their mother. Both boys talked about her in glowing terms, describing a woman Bilba would be honored to meet one day if she ever got the chance. She also knew, however, that their father had died, so long ago that Kili had never met him. In his absence, Thorin had taken over, becoming more of a father figure to them than an uncle as they'd grown up. While a lot of their character came from their mother, just as much came from their uncle, instilled in them even as he'd taken responsibility for leading the colony in the Blue Mountains, a place she knew to be prosperous and peaceful.

She remembered how Fili and Kili had talked about their uncle, before Erebor, before his betrayal. They were angry, deeply angry, but she had no doubt that the root of that anger was pain. Fili and Kili had been betrayed not just by their uncle but by the only father they'd ever known, a dwarf they had deeply loved and respected, and his rejection of them had cut them deeper than any blade, just as it had cut her.

And perhaps, if she were willing to be honest with herself, the reason she understood their anger so well was that, deep down, she knew the cause mirrored her own.

"No," she said, her voice stronger, "he wouldn't hurt them."

The weight over her head lessened somewhat. She would still have to talk to him but the anticipation was probably worse than the actual event would be…she hoped.

She could remember feeling similarly when she'd been pregnant and facing the fact she'd have to give birth at some point. She'd wanted her babies of course but she'd had no idea what to expect and no one to explain it to her. Her traveling companions on the way home had all been males, unmarried males without children of their own.

There'd been so much fear and worry and uncertainty, stress and anxiety and it was always in front of her, always something she'd have to wake up in the morning and realize was still there.

She'd just wanted it over with.

She swallowed. "Could you look after the boys for me?"

"Of course," Priscilla said. "Just call if you need me to come gut him like a pig for you."

Bilba laughed. "You can't bring yourself to step on a spider."

"Then I'll just get your archer to shoot him," Priscilla responded. "I doubt he'd need much encouragement."

"He's not my archer," Bilba muttered. "And I'd actually prefer if you didn't encourage him." Kili might talk big about shooting his uncle but, when it came down to it, Bilba didn't believe he'd actually do it. He was angry and also responding to her and Fili's anger and hurt, trying to make them happy. He did that a lot, putting others' feelings and desires ahead of his own. Since he refused to look after his own wants it meant Bilba and Fili had to and that meant not putting him in a position where he thought he might have to hurt his uncle.

Frerin was done and Bilba put her clothing back together. She settled him down next to his brother and, with a deep breath, stood up. She took another deep breath as she did because breathing was suddenly difficult but she forced herself to start moving forward.

She really, really, really wanted this particular conversation over with.

She shot a look toward Fili and Kili and, within a heartbeat, had both next to her.

"I was hoping we'd go for the ignore him and maybe he goes away route," Kili asked.

Bilba didn't answer. They'd moved beyond the perimeter of the campsite and she saw Thorin step away from the tree and start forward. Dwalin stayed behind. Thorin stopped several yards away, at about the halfway point between their two camps. Bilba swallowed and indicated for Fili and Kili to stay where they were. They gave her twin glares of displeasure but she ignored them and went forward to meet Thorin.

He towered over her. She'd forgotten how big he was and she clasped her hands in front of her, wringing them anxiously.

She had no idea what to say to him, she realized.

She opened her mouth, hoping the words would just come, at precisely the same time he did. Instantly both of them closed their mouths and went back to standing there like idiots. Apparently neither of them had taken into account the awkwardness of the situation.

Finally, Bilba decided to go at it from another angle. There had been an awful suspicion in the back of her mind ever since Bree and, though she wanted to believe Thorin wouldn't stoop that low, she still wanted to know the answer. "How did the Nazgul find out where I live?"

He looked startled. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Bilba said. "It's not like I posted my address for them. How did they find me?"

"I don't consort with the servants of Sauron," Thorin growled, clearly picking up on her implication, "I certainly didn't tell them. You honestly think I would betray you like that?"

"I don't know, Thorin," Bilba replied her ire beginning to awaken. "Wouldn't you? You abandoned me to a battle after all."

"You weren't supposed to be there," Thorin countered. "I sent Dain to take you back to the Shire but you'd already left for Lake-town."

Bilba blinked in surprise. He had?

She didn't get a chance to respond as Thorin proved the last year and a half had not changed his penchant for opening his mouth and letting words simply fall out as they liked. "You shouldn't have done that in your condition," he said, his eyes narrowed. "You should have gone home."

"Don't you dare judge me, Thorin Oakenshield." Bilba shot back, anger lacing her tone. "I had no way of knowing the Valar cursed orcs would arrive early or that they would attack Mirkwood. I was trying to save my friends, which is far more than you did!"

That was unfair and she knew it. She'd seen him on the battlefield after the Nazgul had thrown her over the Spires. She wasn't really in the mood for being fair at the moment, however.

"When did you find out?" he asked suddenly, his voice quiet.

"Smaug told me," she muttered.

Thorin looked dumstruck. "The dragon?"

"Yes, Thorin, the dragon," Bilba snapped. "After he locked me in the Treasury and tried to starve me to death!"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I thought I'd lost them!" Bilba shouted, her frayed nerves finally snapping. "I started bleeding and I thought they were gone and the last thing I wanted to do was tell you I'd lost your children!"

Her voice broke on the last word, memories and emotions from that time flooding back. Her eyes burned and when she spoke again her voice wavered. "I wanted to be sure but then you were acting like such an ass and then you threw me out of the mountain and there was an army coming and I-"

"And after all that you left for the Shire without even trying to talk to me," Thorin said. There was a trace of hurt in his voice but Bilba wasn't having it.

"This isn't my fault," she said, tears escaping her eyes, "you told Dain you thought I was a witch and put a spell on the boys. What was I supposed to do, Thorin? Tell me. You're a Valar-cursed King you jackass. And you thought I was a thief and a liar and a witch. What if you decided you wanted them but not me? You could have thrown me into the dungeons until I had them or even had me killed! What was I supposed to do?"

Thorin looked stunned.

Fili and Kili stepped up on either side of her, apparently having had enough of watching, and she turned and wrapped her arms around Kili, burying her face in his shirt so she didn't have to look at stupid Thorin OakenAss anymore.

"I would never take them from you," Thorin's voice said from behind her. His own voice sounded shaky but Bilba couldn't bring herself to look at him, simply tightening her grip on Kili.

"No," Fili agreed from next to her, his voice cold. "You wouldn't."

"You can't anyway," Bilba muttered against Kili's chest. "They still need me."

She would just keep telling herself that, she decided, until she believed it.

She let out a shaky breath, getting herself back under control, and turned to face Thorin. She didn't resist when Kili wrapped both arms around her waist from behind and pulled her to lean against him. She was shaking and it was comforting to have him there. She reached up and pulled the long coil of hair running down her back over her shoulder, clasping it tight in both hands. The braids placed there by Fili and Kili had become a security blanket of sorts for her, one she tended to grab when she was particularly upset.

"What do you want, Thorin?" she asked, her voice tired. "Why did you come?"

He had an entire kingdom at his command. He could have sent a battalion of troops to her door. He could have had assassins come after her or even sent people to kidnap Fili and Kili and drag them back.

There was no reason she could think of for him to have come personally aside from him having found out about the twins but the evidence suggested he genuinely hadn't known she even had children, much less that they were his.

In front of her Thorin shifted and something in his face changed.

He looked nervous, Bilba thought.

Why did Thorin look nervous?

He took a deep breath, apparently the inability to breathe was contagious, and then dropped to one knee in front of her.

Bilba's hands froze on her hair and she gaped at him.

Thorin was kneeling before her.

Thorin Oakenshield, the King under the Mountain was kneeling before her.

She looked at Fili and saw he looked stunned; his eyes wide. Tilting her head back showed Kili with much the same expression.

Thorin had his head bowed, one arm draped over his knee, his other hand braced lightly against the ground. Behind him, at his campsite, Dwalin was standing at attention, his arms behind his back though the look in his eyes suggested he was questioning Thorin's sanity.

"Bilba Baggins," Thorin intoned, his voice solemn. "I have transgressed against you and brought shame and dishonor upon my house."

Kili made a strangled noise behind her. His arms tightened around her waist and Bilba put her hands on top of his.

"In doing so I have furthered transgressed against my heirs and caused others to stumble in my path."

It was about that time Bilba realized Thorin was speaking Khuzdul. She'd never heard it with the gravity or weight Thorin was giving it.

"What are you doing?" she couldn't help but ask.

Around them the air seemed to still and grow heavy. Bilba had the sudden insane feeling that they were being watched and by more than Seth, Adalgrim, Priscilla and Dwalin. She felt as though the eyes of something ancient, and incredibly powerful, were on her and she had to resist the urge to cower in light of it.

Thorin reached into his boot and withdrew a large knife. Bilba instinctively tried to take a step back but Kili's body blocked her. His arms squeezed her briefly in reassurance and she forced herself to hold still.

Thorin grabbed one of the braids he wore over his shoulder and sliced it off in a movement so sudden Bilba flinched.

He reached into another pocket and came out with something else in his hand.

It was her braid, Bilba realized with a sharp pang. The one she'd cut off and left behind in Erebor. How Thorin had gotten it she had no idea but have it he did.

As she watched in silence Thorin undid both braids and then combined them, turning them into one thick braid that was a mix of her hair and his. He capped both ends with hair beads, the one he'd worn and the one she'd once worn.

Fili and Kili were both completely still as he worked and she could still feel the presence like something else was observing, a feeling of almost being pressed upon slightly, her legs struggling just a bit more than usual to keep her upright.

Thorin finished and then laid the knife down on the ground before them before placing the new braid on the blade.

Finally he looked up, locking eyes with her. "Bilba Baggins," he stated in cultured Khuzdul, "I do hereby swear myself to you until such as time as you deem my honor restored, or declare it irreparable."

He picked up the knife and without hesitation slashed his palm. Now it was Bilba's turn to make a strangled noise as she stepped forward to try and grab the knife. No matter what she felt about him the very last thing she wanted was the father of her sons harming himself.

Fili and Kili both stopped her.

Thorin tilted his hand and allowed several drops of blood to fall on the braid and the beads at both ends. As he did she saw the cut on his hand was shallow and breathed a sigh of relief.

"So it is witnessed," Thorin stated. "So it is done."

He replaced the knife and stood up. Bilba raised her eyes just in time to see him give her a respectful nod before he turned on one heel and headed back to his camp. Dwalin grabbed Thorin's hand, scowled at him and then dragged him over to treat it before it got infected in the environment they were trekking through.

Around them the weight she'd been feeling slowly lifted, the presence fading. Birds she hadn't realized had fallen silent started up again and a light breeze was suddenly dancing along the tops of the long grass they stood in.

Bilba looked down at the braid of hair lying at her feet. "So," she said slowly, "what exactly just happened?"

The boys didn't bother translating for her. They already knew she could speak Khuzdul. It had been a long journey home from Erebor after all and they had quickly run out of ways to creatively insult Thorin. She'd ended up with the same agreement she'd once had with Nori. She'd been teaching them Black Speech in return for them helping her with her Khuzdul.

"I didn't think he'd go that far," Kili muttered, looking toward Thorin.

"How far did he go?" Bilba asked. "What did he do?"

"He bound himself to you," Fili said, "until such a time as you deem his honor is restored or you reject him."

"I heard that part but what does it mean?" Bilba repeated blankly. "So, what, he's like my servant now?"

"Exactly," Kili said.

"I-" Bilba stopped and then started again. "I don't – why me though?" She finally asked. "He wronged you just as much. And why just Thorin? Dwalin's not over here binding himself to me or whatever it is."

"Thorin has taken responsibility for anything Dwalin or anyone else may have done to you," Fili said. "He basically said if it weren't for his behavior their behavior wouldn't have happened." He shrugged. "It doesn't mean you can't still be angry at them or that they're absolved from needing to beg your forgiveness," here anger leeched into his voice, "but in the eyes of our culture Thorin was both the leader of the Company and the King under the Mountain and has taken responsibility for the actions of those under his authority on the claim that their actions were directly born from his."

Bilba stared at the braid where it still lay forlornly on the ground. "So I'm supposed to carry around a hank of bloody hair now?"

"If you want," Fili said. "If not you can just leave it where it is."

He said it nonchalant but there was an odd tension to his voice that had Bilba giving him a suspicious look. "And what happens to Thorin if I leave it where it is?"

He sighed. "He'll be an exile, unable to return to Erebor or any dwarven settlement, ever."

Bilba jerked as though someone had punched her. "What? That makes no sense. Why couldn't he just fake it? Pretend I forgave him? He knows I won't care."

"He can't," Kili explained, "even if he wasn't one of the most well-known dwarves in Middle Earth. If he makes any move to betray you again, and that includes leaving, he'll be struck down."

"Struck down by who?" Bilba asked blankly.

"By Mahal," Fili said matter of fact. At her incredulous look he said, "I'm serious. What he just did was a dwarven blood Ceremony of Binding."

"I've never heard of that," Bilba said, half suspecting he was messing with her.

Fili gave her a dry look. "Of course you haven't. We're dwarves. We pride ourselves on being secretive."

He had a point.

She sighed. She was beginning to get a headache.

"On the bright side," Kili said suddenly. "You don't have to worry about him trying to take Ash and Frerin. I'm pretty sure that would fall under the heading of betraying you."

Bilba frowned at him. "Does Mahal actually strike you down or is that just one of those 'if I break my word may Mahal strike me down' things?"

"No, he actually does," Fili said. "Our Creator is quite serious about such things. Granted it hasn't happened often but our records are pretty clear that it has happened."

Bilba was definitely getting a headache. Her temples were throbbing and she suddenly felt every inch of dirt, grime and overall exhaustion she'd been dragging along the past week and a half.

"So," she said slowly. "I'm stuck in the wild with the servants of darkness on my tail, with two babies that are still nursing, with no supplies and with the King under the Mountain bound to me until I either forgive him or ruin his life by exiling him or getting him struck down by Mahal?"

"That about sums it up," Kili said agreeably.

Bilba groaned, turned in his arms and buried her face against his shirt again. She didn't feel what Thorin had done at Erebor warranted her destroying his life or robbing him of his throne, the one thing he'd spent his life striving for.

But she also didn't have it in her to forgive him at the moment.

She wasn't entirely sure how she felt. Part of her was still angry and hurt and even irritated that he'd put her in this position.

Another part was impressed that he'd gone to such ridiculous lengths.

Well of course he did; a voice inside her sneered. He knows he has children now.

Bilba tensed. Was that why he'd done it? He hoped to get her forgiveness so he could have a relationship with the babies? Not to mention he'd probably manage to get Fili and Kili's forgiveness as well along the way.

She lifted her head and frowned up at Kili. "Can't I just go tell him I forgive him and then he'll go away?"

His eyes narrowed. "Do you forgive him?"

Bilba dropped her head. "No," She groused.

"It'd be the same as rejecting him then," Fili explained.

He knelt and picked up the braid, holding it lightly in one hand. "If you keep it then it shows you're considering giving him the chance to earn your forgiveness, if you wear it then it shows you've given him the chance and giving it back says he's earned your forgiveness."

Bilba gave him a calculating look. Her headache had gotten worse and she felt cold. In particular the spot on her collarbone where her ring lay felt like a small circle of pure ice resting against her skin.

Was it already working? Was Fili already softening toward Thorin? What if they turned on her and supported him taking the babies?

Fili gave her a confused look. "Bilba?" He knelt suddenly and put the braid back before straightening again. "It's up to you. We can leave it here if you want and never think about it again."

"It'll get rid of him," Kili said. "It'll be one less thing to worry about. You don't even have to do it yourself. I can take the braid over and tell him to leave."

The cold feeling faded and her headache lessened. Bilba felt an odd surge of annoyance though she couldn't understand why or where it came from.

She shook her head lightly. What was she thinking? Fili and Kili wouldn't turn on her. And they'd already said Thorin couldn't betray her if he wanted to stay in Mahal's favor. If he were seeking her forgiveness under false pretenses, not because he wanted her to forgive him but because he wanted to manipulate her to get at the children and the boys that would pretty much be the definition of betrayal wouldn't it?

Bilba pulled away from Kili and retrieved the braid herself, shoving it into a pocket of her trousers. She did not look toward Thorin to see his reaction but pressed a hand lightly to her head. "I have a headache."

"Come on," Fili said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "Let's go back and sit down. We'll rest an hour or two to see if Glorfindel and Aragorn come back before we head out."

Bilba nodded, closing her eyes as he started her back toward their own camp. She'd need to get water to clean up the babies, but she could probably have Fili do it while she sat down for a bit.

It was only when she saw her sons lying on their blanket that she realized Thorin had never asked or demanded to see them.

She twisted around to see him still seated in front of Dwalin. As she watched she saw him turn and look past her toward where Ashrin and Frerin were. There was a look of clear longing in his eyes but he made no move.

He was waiting to be invited.

Dwalin jerked the binding tight with just a little more force than absolutely necessary and Thorin raised an eyebrow in question.

"Something you'd like to say?"

"You go to far," Dwalin growled. "What were you thinking?"

Thorin sighed. "She thought I was going to have her assassinated. She'd never listen to anything I said as long as that was in the way. I wanted us to be on equal footing."

Dwalin settled back. "She could declare you an exile."

Thorin looked to where Bilba was speaking to his nephews. "She won't."

"And how can you possibly know that? You're not exactly on her list of favorite people."

As Thorin watched Bilba grabbed the braid and stuffed it in her pocket with an irritated motion.

He grinned in relief, feeling a weight lift off his back.

"I know she won't," He said turning to look at Dwalin again, "because she's a far better person than I am."

Dwalin was still pissed but he would get over it.

Thorin felt his eyes drawn, almost on their own, to the blanket at the other camp with his sons on it.

His sons.

His heart swelled with pride and love even though he hadn't officially met them yet.

He was a father.

He had sons.

He didn't even know their names.

His heart wrenched in his chest. The other hobbit, Priscilla if he recalled, had told him in detail what Bilba had told her about the trip back to Rivendell. The look Fili and Kili had given him had confirmed it was every bit as bad as it sounded.

His One had nearly died.

His sons had nearly died.

He'd missed their birth and the first seven months of their lives.

All because his own pride and stubbornness had led to his refusing their attempts to help, had blinded them to the fact that giving away the Arkenstone had been in an attempt to avoid war and protect his kingdom.

He'd driven them away and, in doing so, had missed so much.

And he had no one to blame but himself.

"No," he said again, almost to himself, "I don't believe I went to far."

If anything, he hadn't gone far enough.

Glorfindel and Aragorn arrived a half hour later. They'd traveled out of their way to a Ranger way station and raided it for supplies.

Aragorn had hoped that he would find survivors from the attack on Sarn Ford but there had been no sign, a fact which Bilba could see weighed heavily on him.

They packed up quickly. Fili sliced up the coat Thorin had given them the night before, turning it into two slings for the babies. He helped Priscilla get set up with Ashrin and then set himself up with Frerin.

As they did Aragorn grabbed his own equipment and tossed it over his shoulder.

"Come on," he said, his voice grave. "There's been no sign of the Nazgul but I don't doubt they're still around."

Bilba nodded and hurried to fall in behind him, the others gathered around her.

Behind them Thorin trailed after them along with Dwalin.

Bilba watched him for a few minutes before turning to face forward again.

Her emotions were still swirling. She didn't know what she felt or what she wanted to do. She didn't know if she could forgive Thorin.

She didn't know if she wanted to forgive Thorin.

On the other hand she didn't want her sons growing up wondering why their mother had their father as a servant. She didn't want to deny Thorin his mountain or his people. No matter what he'd done or how angry or hurt over it she was she didn't believe he deserved that.

In a perfect world her sons would grow up knowing, and being loved by, their mother and their father.

Could Thorin be that father? At one time she'd have had no problem saying yes. She could see with her own eyes that he had been that kind of father to Fili and Kili.

But, at one time, she also would have sworn he would never hurt her the way he had.

She'd been wrong.

If she were wrong again it wouldn't just be her being hurt, it would be her sons.

She couldn't afford to be wrong, not with them.

She'd given her heart once and had it broken. Perhaps it had partly been her fault. Perhaps she'd given it too fast, too easily.

She wouldn't make that same mistake again, not with her sons on the line.

She'd believed she knew him once.

Perhaps she had.

Perhaps she hadn't.

Time would tell.

And so, until it did, she would wait.