OWEN
She stands there looking at me, and doesn't answer me. We are all silent, the nurse goes out and closes the door with a loud bang that echoes in the silent room.
"I think it's better to leave them alone." Megan suggests.
"NO!" I exclaim, leaving everyone surprised, but I don't feel comfortable staying alone in the presence of a stranger. Or, rather, in the presence of someone I should know, but I don't.
"It will be only a few minutes, so you can talk quietly." My mother insists.
"It's okay, Evelyn." Teddy says. Her voice is so melodious yet so sad. "It must be uncomfortable for him to be alone with someone he clearly doesn't know." She chuckles, but her chuckle is so hollow, and everyone goes silent.
I can't stop looking at her, my gaze goes from her face to her belly and I can see that I make her feel self-conscious because she swings nervously from one foot to the other, scratching her nape. "You're pregnant." I point to the very obvious. But it's the best I can think of to start a conversation that isn't about me, about her or about us.
She smiles, she really smiles and cradles her bump. "Yeah, 6 months, almost in the third trimester."
Everyone in the room smiles warmly with her and Megan rubs her back. Then the question arises, if this woman seems to be so special to me, would it be possible that this baby is mine? From what they told me I was lost for 5 months, so...
"Is that baby mine?" I blurt out without stopping to contemplate the possibility of how awkward the question might be. But I feel so frustrated of not remembering certain things that I cannot stop to think how kind or uncomfortable my questions may turn out.
They share looks with each other, as if trying to find the right way to tell me a simple yes or no. I must confess that the idea of having a child has always been one of my life plans, I've always wanted a big family. But the idea of having a child with a person I don't remember... that sounds like a big disaster.
And again we are interrupted, it's as if we couldn't have a damn moment of privacy in this damn place. The nurse quickly enters and picks my chart that she forgot and leaves the room again.
I look at everyone waiting for an answer, and just then I see how Teddy grimaces, walks to my bed and holds tightly to the bar at the foot of it with one hand and clutches her bump with the other.
"Teddy, are you ok?!" Megan rushes next to her, placing her arm behind her back, supporting her.
"These damn pains again." She mutters through clenched teeth.
"Let's take you outside. You need to rest, Teddy. I told you."
"Megan, Nathan, take her to be checked and rest, I will stay with Owen!" My mom says, but nobody tells me anything.
"What's going on?!" I ask frantically. "What's wrong with her?!"
Megan and Nathan take her out of the room, leaving me with my mother. "Mom, tell me what's going on!"
TEDDY
This is a nightmare, I close my eyes tightly and bite my lips in a stupid attempt to make all this end. I cry, but I don't even have tears anymore, I'm completely dry, it's just a dry cry. How much of a bitch can life be?
Megan and Nathan take me to the ER, where the doctor leaves me resting after a quick check-up in which, luckily, everything went well.
"Teddy, you have to calm down. Remember what Dr. Montgomery said!"
That seems to be the only damn phrase everyone has for me lately; Teddy, calm down. How the hell can I calm down when I've left one hell to go into another?
"Tell me how the hell can I possibly calm down when the love of my life doesn't remember me? How am I supposed to bring a human being into the world with someone who doesn't know who I am and surely the last thing in his plans is to have a baby with a stranger?!"
"Teddy, don't be extremist, this is only temporary, you'll see that once the therapies begin everything will improve and he will remember everything, and he will remember you, and you will be a family." Megan tries to cheer me up.
OWEN
"I can't do this anymore!" I complain as I drop on the pillows, moaning a little when I feel a stab in my side.
"Owen, there is no point in stressing for something that is not in your control!" My mother tries to comfort me. "You know that this is only temporary, with hard work, patience and without stress this will be left in the past in no time."
I shake my head, defeated. Do I have another option? "Tell me about her." I ask my mother. "Who is she, who is she to me, where did I meet her... is that baby mine?"
"I can't tell you that Owen, even if I wanted to, they were orders from the psychiatrist."
"So how the hell am I supposed to remember?! I need to know who she is, I need to know… if what I feel when I see her or think about her is true, or it's just my mind forcing things."
"And what do you feel?" My mother asks me tentatively.
I sigh heavily. "I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. When she received me and I saw her face so happy, her huge smile, although I didn't know who she was, she made me feel welcomed, she made me feel safe. And then a moment ago when I saw that she was crying, I... I wanted to hug her so badly. My heart stopped when I saw her in pain. I don't know, mom! I don't know what this is, but, although I don't remember her, there is something about her that tells me that she is someone special to me."
My mother looks at me with sympathy, takes a chair and brings it to my bed sitting next to me. "Ok, I'll tell you, but swear to me that you won't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you or that I told you. Are we?"
"I swear." I answer immediately.
She puffs. "Ok... Teddy, she's been your friend for... I don't know, since her first tour I think, she's from New York, she's a surgeon too—"
"Yes, yes, yes they told me that, cardiothoracic surgeon. What else?!" I ask desperately to know everything.
"Well, I don't know much more because you never told me you two were dating."
"We were dating? And what about Beth?"
"You two broke up before you started dating Teddy. All I know is that you were dating and that she was your girlfriend when you disappeared."
"So... the baby is mine?" I can't help smiling.
My mother smiles too. "Yeah, the baby is yours."
I let out a little chuckle of disbelief. "Wow… I… but, did I know about it? Before disappearing, I mean."
"That doesn't correspond to me to say, son. That's something you have to talk about with Teddy."
"By the way, where is she?! Is she okay? She and the baby?!" I ask anxiously when I remember that she was taken out of the room in pain.
"Megan messaged me, she's ok, so is the baby, it was just a little scare. She is resting now."
"I want to see her!" I demand.
"I don't think that is possible now. As I told you, she is resting. Oh, Owen, you have no idea how difficult it has been for her these months. It has been a very difficult pregnancy. She had a threat of premature labor two days ago. That's why we weren't at home when they called to tell us about you being found, we were in the hospital with her. The stress was draining her."
"It's all my fault, and now I'm adding more to that stress with my damn memory loss."
"No Owen, this is not your fault, nobody wanted this! This is just a difficult situation, but this is not your fault, and she understands, I assure you she does. So please don't blame yourself."
I remain silent trying to absorb all the information that my mother has just given me. Beth and I are over. Teddy and I are dating. A baby.
"So… you will be a grandmother. I'm having a baby."
My mother takes my hand smiling and crying. I think about it, I think about Teddy. She looks like a really sweet person, physically I can see why she attracted me, she's stunning. But I can also feel what attracted me to her inside, I could feel it when I saw her eyes. A clean, pure look. I have no idea how we will figure this out, but maybe, after all, a baby with a stranger is not a disaster...