A/N: Playlist is on my spotify at canttouchthis and listed on my Tumblr at canttouchthis87.
April 8, 1998
Spring was bittersweet for the Seventh Years; there was the growing excitement over Graduation, but also anxiety over NEWTS and the knowledge that their time at Hogwarts was nearing its final end.
Draco distinctly remembered 'hating' school not long ago, thinking of how excited he would be to graduate. But now, as he sat in the library watching Hermione write notes on Arithmancy and frantically consult her timetables, he couldn't imagine possibly longing for such a thing.
The precipice was growing nearer and nearer - that moment where he would have to decide whether to take the easy path or not. The problem was, it was no longer clear which was which.
As a child, before he knew better and had idolized his father, he dreamt of taking on his father's role as head of family - he'd accompany Lucius to work and meetings and imagine himself sitting behind the mahogany desk, drafting memos and ordering underlings around.
Now, beyond the simple fact that even the idea of such work bored him to tears, that life seemed inherently flawed - since she could never be in it. He knew it was irrational to consider such decisions with Hermione in mind - but he couldn't help it. Somehow, in such a short time, he felt they had become inextricably linked.
He had tried to indirectly broach the subject with his father on a phone call, asking if perhaps the requirement for marrying a Pureblood was really more of a suggestion. The resulting tantrum from Lucius assured him that there was no room for compromise.
There was no choice. This was his responsibility.
But it felt inherently wrong.
"Draco." Hermione snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Have you solved question 34?"
He looked down at his NEWTS study workbook Hermione had made for him as a 'present'. He resolved to have a chat with her after NEWTS about the difference between a gift and homework — but in the meantime, had agreed to follow her regimen and guides. Even if it was a bit much.
"Er… sorry. I'm on 9," he replied with a sheepish grin, his eyes apologetic.
She frowned, her eyes shining in disappointment. "NEWTS are only a month away! You have to take this seriously."
He felt properly chastised but couldn't help smiling at the way her hair shot to the side when she huffed and how her ears turned red when she was angry at him.
"I'm sorry, I'm just preoccupied," he told her honestly.
She deflated slightly, appearing sympathetic. "Try not to think about it."
That was typically his line whenever the subject of his father and life after Hogwarts came up.
The issue was, since Justin died, Draco felt his mortality in a new way. In the back of his mind, he had always imagined that perhaps he could complete his "duties" in the short term, but at some point would be able to live the life he wanted. But such an opportunity wasn't guaranteed - and if he only had so much time to live, he didn't want to live it as that person.
But he currently didn't see any alternatives. For all of Hermione's rants on change, and finding a way to maintain the Malfoy legacy while allowing Draco to have the future he wanted, it simply didn't seem possible.
So, he was stuck; either he would give up his name and everything associated with it, or he'd give up his own future.
She looked at him seriously with furrowed brows. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He did, but he also didn't. So he grabbed her hand and offered her a slight smile. "Maybe later. Let's solve this problem."
She seemed skeptical but nodded, letting him give her a chaste kiss before returning to the task at hand.
April 12, 1998
Hermione and Draco remained at Hogwarts for the Easter Holidays, both anxious to spend whatever remaining time they had in school, together. Even if neither quite said the words aloud.
Hermione, much to Draco's horror, thought the best use of their time was to study even more. She was slowly driving herself crazy, reminding Draco more and more of the studious bookworm from years past. He sat with her in the Gryffindor Common Room, indulging her desire for order and listening to her rants:
"Why did you let me have fun all year Draco! I should have been studying and-"
He pressed his lips to hers, cutting off her stream of consciousness. He felt her soften, the tension easing.
"You'll do great, Hermione," he told her earnestly.
"I just feel like there's so much material and I need to know all of it…" she trailed off. He noticed the death grip she had on her quill, the way her eye twitched.
"You need a break," he suggested.
She shook her head. "We have 25 more minutes of studying. Then we can take a 45 minute break. But we need to eat something - ideally something with carbs in order to-"
He cut her off once more, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. "I don't mean a break right now, I mean a break from studying in general. I have an idea."
She eyed him suspiciously. "What?"
He smirked, amused by the way her eyes narrowed and her upper body shifted slightly in his direction. "Blur is playing in Muggle London tomorrow night. I think we should go."
She laughed. "You want to - what? Sneak out of Hogwarts and go to a Muggle concert in London? How will we get out of here? How will we get tickets?"
"Hermione." He gave her a chastising look. "I'm a Malfoy. Getting the tickets will be no problem. And besides… Sirius gave Harry and I the Marauders Map; it's easy to get out of Hogwarts."
He gave her a pleading look, grabbing her hand and gently tracing circles into her palm.
She kept her eyes squinted but he could see her resolve begin to weaken. He scooted his chair closer, drawing her to him. "Hermione." He looked her in the eye. "Life is short. Please - go to this concert with me."
She bit her bottom lip and rolled her eyes, nodding. "Fine."
He grinned brightly, kissing her quickly. "You won't regret it."
"But." She put up a finger. "Until then, we follow my study schedule. No pulling me off track with your shenanigans. Got it? And when we get back — same thing."
He nodded, biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing. She returned to her notebook, focused once more on her NEWT preparations.
"Thank you," he told her quietly. Her only response was a slight quirk of her lips and Draco took a moment to just watch her, holding onto the moment
April 13, 1998
The pub turned music venue was packed — a crowd of black and grey with random bursts of color. There were piercings, tattoos and hair sticking out in the black painted room with posters and other clippings strewn throughout.
Draco felt Hermione's grip on his hand tighten. "Are you alright?" he asked.
Her eyes were wide and darting all over. She wore a pair of loose fitting jeans and a black tank top with a flannel atop. Her hair had grown out since she cut it over the summer, falling in waves to her shoulders.
"I've never been to a Muggle bar," she admitted sheepishly.
He squeezed her hand in reassurance. "I've only gone a couple of times with Sirius. Don't worry. It's basically the same as a magical one just — no magic."
"So, what do we do?" she asked. He wanted to laugh, remembering how comfortable she was at Nocturnal Nightmare in Diagon Alley, but then again, they had been with their entire class and it was far less — eclectic — than The Powerhaus.
"Let's get a drink," he suggested, leading her to the bar.
It took nearly ten minutes to get a drink, the pair fighting throngs of Muggles. By the time they walked away with a beer, Blur was on stage, playing "Charmless Man". Draco and Hermione stood behind the dance floor, standing side by side and somewhat awkwardly watching the band.
"You know," Hermione shouted so he could hear him, "I don't really know Blur."
He gave her a look of sheer horror. "How did I not know this?"
She rolled her eyes, elbowing him. "I don't know."
"So?" he asked. She gave him a look of confusion so he continued, "What do you think?"
She turned to the stage, watching thoughtfully, as though the question were truly serious. Then again, given Draco's love of music, she likely was taking the matter seriously.
It was one of the things he'd grown to love about her; the way she grew to care for music like he did. But also how she was always honest. When she stuck her tongue out at the Nine Inch Nails album, while it felt like a punch to his gut, it was still a reminder that she wouldn't change her tastes for him.
It meant that when he played a song and her eyes lit up or she felt a sudden need to kiss him, it was real. It wasn't some act like the girls he'd sometimes see over the summer holidays, who would pretend to share his tastes.
She was real - authentic in a way he didn't know he wanted until he'd found her.
The song shifted to "She's So High" and Hermione turned back to him, apparently having made some determination.
"They're alright." She pressed her lips to his ear to be heard without shouting.
His jaw fell. "Just - alright?"
She shrugged, not at all bothered. "I'm going to get us more drinks."
He watched her smoothly push her way to the front of the bar and effectively flirt with the female bartender to quickly get a couple of shots. By the time she returned, "Girls and Boys" was playing.
"I know this!" she shouted, downing her shot.
He rolled his eyes. "Yes, of course you do."
"Do you want to dance?" She had that light in her eye, that familiar glint when she wanted to try something new.
He readily agreed, throwing out their plastic shot cups and letting her pull him onto the dance floor in time for "Song 2" to start playing.
They followed the crowd, waving their hands in the air and shifting left to right along with the music. Hermione swung her hair and hips, completely unconcerned with how she looked.
Draco moved a bit side to side but mostly just watched her. That is, until she pulled him closer when "This Is a Low" started playing and insisted on treating it like a slow song.
"You've been watching me a lot tonight," she murmured in his ear as she shifted them left to right.
He exhaled, smiling softly against her hair, not surprised she noticed. "I just don't want to miss a minute of this - being here, with you."
"But I want you here with me, right now," she moved back slightly to force him to make eye contact with her.
"I am."
"But you're not... it's like you're making a movie so that you can watch it one day, rather than simply living for the moment it's happening," she explained.
He internally admitted she was right, as she typically was. Her gaze stayed fixed on him but she didn't push, just letting them sway and enjoy the music, ignoring the other concert goers surrounding them. The song shifted to "Sing", but they didn't move, just continuing to sway, enjoying the music and the moment.
Well, at least Draco was enjoying the music - though the way Hermione hummed made him suspect she was warming up to it.
It was perfect in a way. The room may have been sweltering hot and smelled of sweat and stale beer, but being there with her and one of his favorite bands was, for lack of a better word, magical.
A lyric played at just that moment, So what's the worth in all of this?
And suddenly, everything became perfectly clear. All of his doubt and questions - it was as though he were seeing his own life in a different light.
"I love you," he said without preamble, enjoying the way her eyes went wide with panic before a smile crossed her face.
"I - I…" She blinked, trailing off, and he kissed her, completely unbothered with her response or lack thereof. It didn't matter, because he knew how he felt — how she made him feel. He realized he couldn't simply do as his father wished; that his name wasn't worth anything.
Nothing was worth anything without her.
He knew the realization should have terrified him, that as a seventeen year old boy, he shouldn't want to feel tied down to a person. But he wasn't scared; in fact, he felt a sense of serenity that had eluded him that entire year.
He would upend the world for this witch. He'd sacrifice any wealth, live on the streets, beg fucking Weasley for shelter if he had to, if it meant getting to see her smile, kiss her lips.
She pushed herself against him, like she was trying to express her feelings through their kiss since she didn't quite have the words in that moment.
They separated just as "The Universal" started playing.
"I forgot this was Blur," she whispered into his ear.
He smirked, thinking about the mixtape he made her, and all the other moments in between. He remembered when she shot him in laser tag and the way her eyes shone at her success. He recalled the look on her face when he unplugged her CD player on the train, but also the way she grew more peaceful when she heard "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness".
He had watched her for so much of that year, the way she'd laugh at nothing in particular but because of a particular lyric in her ear. The way she fought with him over the meaning of "1979" - insisting it was more than a poppy melody. As the song came to an end, he thought about that dark night by the lake in March, and how much comfort he took in having her beside him.
"I love you," he told her once more. "I'm not going to do what my father has asked."
"What?" she shouted, though it wasn't clear if it was in shock or simply to be heard. They were frozen, no longer dancing, just standing. clasping each other's elbows in the middle of the crowded dance floor.
"There's no point to it. It's all about money and a name - but none of those mean anything to me. Not if I'm not free to love you." His grin grew wider.
She bit the side of her mouth, her eyes boring into his. There was a painful moment, where he grew suddenly insecure and wondered if he'd said too much.
But she nodded and punched him in the arm. "It's about time."
"Anything else?" he asked, drawing her to him once more and pressing his lips to her ear.
"Of course I love you, you idiot," she shouted at him, before kissing him once more.
He laughed into her mouth as his hands moved to grasp her face. "You're So Great" started playing and while the other dancers moved around them, he kept kissing her, willing the moment to last forever.
They snuck back in through the trapdoor in Honeydukes at around one am, trying their best to stumble through the corridors without making too much noise.
Draco stopped her at one point, pressing her against the wall and kissing her senselessly.
"Draco!" she whispered, pushing him away, "it's late! You're going to get us in trouble!"
They were both tipsy, feeling the rush of adrenaline from the concert and sneaking back into the castle.
"I don't want this night to end," he admitted, his words brushing against her cheek and neck.
She nodded. "I have an idea."
He frowned, thinking about some of the other ideas she'd had that year, like setting up an elaborate prank in the Great Hall for Halloween. "What?"
"Come on." She yanked his hand, pulling him along the corridors. They ran as quietly as they could, breezing past frowning portraits and a few suits of armor. The stairs quietly tilted to accommodate them and for a fleeting moment Draco wondered if the castle was on their side, willing them to break curfew and sneak about.
She was dragging past the Charms and Ancient Runes classrooms until they reached the door to the Astronomy Tower. She opened it, a brisk breeze hitting him as they crossed the threshold.
"It's beautiful out here," she remarked, pressing her hands over her arms to keep warm. He quickly cast a warming spell but pulled her to him just the same, wrapping his arms around her. She melted into him, her hair, now frizzy from their night out, blowing haphazardly in the wind.
"You're beautiful," he told her, tenderly kissing her neck.
She leaned back into him, pushing his hands against her waist and looking up into the night sky, her eyes full of wonder.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"I'm going to miss this view. At home, you can barely see the stars..." she trailed off, squeezing his hands where they pressed against her.
"Hmmm…" he mumbled into her hair, finding it hard to focus on the night sky rather than her.
She shifted, turning around to look at him. "I'm curious, what made you change your mind? About, you know, the future?"
He searched for the right words, assuming 'it was just a feeling' was insufficient.
"I finally realized my family name and perhaps a modicum of power didn't actually mean anything."
She nodded, looking somewhat relieved and kissed him again, and Draco suddenly wished he had his epiphany months earlier. "Draco…" she mumbled, separating herself and biting her cheek.
He frowned. "What's wrong?"
"Oh nothing." She gave him a reassuring smile. "I just - I want you tonight."
"You're sure?" he asked, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.
They had discussed taking it slow, stealing kisses and allowing hands to wander from time to time. He had viewed what they had as some fragile thing — where a small misstep could cause it all to come toppling down.
He swallowed, taking in the lust in her eyes and the slight turn of her lips. She looked nervous - though it wasn't clear to him if the nerves were related to spending the night with him or waiting for his response.
"Your place or mine?" he whispered back, relishing the chuckle that emerged from her throat.
It took them ten minutes to make it to the Slytherin dorms, both of them stopping to press the other into a wall or staircase on the way. He had half a mind to pull her behind a tapestry and take her right there.
When they finally reached the Seventh Year Slytherin dorm, thankfully empty due to the holiday, he paused, putting on "By My Side" by INXS and letting the song wash over them before he moved her to the bed.
"I love you," he reminded her once more, promising himself he'd never let himself forget the way her eyes sparkled at that moment.
April 23, 1998
"I'm not going to play, Harry," Hermione insisted, for the eighth time.
"You don't have a choice. It's the last magical Capture the Flag game we'll ever have here at Hogwarts," he pointed out with a familiar tone of longing and nostalgia.
Magical Capture the Flag was yet another ridiculous tradition at Hogwarts - one that involved the entire school. Each house would get a quadrant and hide their flag. The goal was to capture all of the other houses flags while keeping yours in hand.
It actually started as a Charms exercise, and at one point, students were required to cast a certain number of Charms before they would be permitted to capture one of their opponents flags.
Over the years though, the game had evolved. Now, each house set up a series of intricate obstacles, which then required the other houses to use magic to get through. It was sufficient enough of an exercise that the Professors could call it educational, while being fun enough that the students talked about it all year.
Hermione, however, typically got caught early on in the game and would end up sitting out. To prevent that from happening, she had decided to simply not play that year and instead go to the library which was considered no-man's-land.
"Hermione," Harry pleaded, literally getting on his knees and pressing his hands together. "Think about everything we've been through. All of the trials and tribulations."
"Like what?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"Like." He squinted his eyes, appearing deep in thought. "Oh! Remember when we did that group project for DADA in third year?"
"That wasn't a trial or tribulation!" Hermione pointed out.
"Oh." He frowned and shook his head. "Well, regardless, we've been through a lot. Remember when we first met on the train? Remember what a nerd you were?" He nudged her in the shoulder.
She glared at him. "For the record, I'm still a nerd."
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but you're so much more than that."
She smiled at him, feeling that familiar lump in her throat. "You're just trying to get me all nostalgic and warm so I agree to play Capture the Flag. Even though I'll get caught right away."
He smirked. "Is it working."
"...Yes," she confirmed, shaking her head as he dragged her to the Divination classroom where they had hidden the flag, explaining the intricate strategy he and Ron had developed along the way.
The classroom was now a war room of sorts. Ron stood with a group of First and Second years, assigning specific tasks. Neville was working with the third years on their cutting and levitation charms, ensuring they were prepared to defend the flag at all costs.
Harry pinned a small lion to her shirt, which lit up indicating she was still 'alive' so to speak. A specific charm cast on a person by a member of another House would make them 'dead' and no longer eligible to play.
"Where do you need me?" she asked Harry.
He looked quite serious, more serious than she recalled him ever being about his studies. But then again, this was Capture the Flag.
His eyes lit up. "I want you to go after the Slytherin flag."
She protested, "No! The Slytherin flag is impossible." It was true; they nearly always won. Largely because Draco was some sort of ninja when it came to Capture the Flag. As she watched Harry's grin turn maniacal, she realized this was precisely the point.
"You want me to seduce Draco Malfoy and force him out of the game?" she deduced.
He put his hands in the air. "I would never suggest such a thing. But, if you could perhaps find some way to get Draco out of the game, I'm sure it would only be good for Gryffindor."
She shook her head. "Fine! But - only because it's you asking. And keep in mind, he'll probably just tag me out before I even see him. So don't get your hopes up."
"Thank you." He pulled her into a hug, which she felt was overkill for the situation.
"Yeah, whatever…" she trailed off, giving him a salute when the loud buzz indicated the game had started.
She made her way to the Slytherin quadrant, trying her best to be stealthy. She passed a group of Ravenclaws along the way and had to hide in an alcove to avoid getting caught.
She ran into Seamus and Dean at the edge of the Potions corridor.
"Did Harry send you guys to get the Slytherin's flag too?" she whispered to them.
They looked at each other before Dean responded, "Er, I believe he sent us to get the flag and you to distract — them." Dean let off a rather immature chuckle at the end.
She huffed. "Fine. Did you guys at least find the flag? Or Draco?"
Seamus pulled his wand out, conjuring a map of the Slytherin quadrant and pointing to one of the long disused Potions classrooms. They proceeded to give Hermione a long and drawn out explanation of everything they learned about the Slytherin defense. Once again, Hermione was amazed at how the Gryffindor boys, typically prone to smoking and troublemaking, managed to get their act together for this one game a year.
They split up and Hermione headed to scope out the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room, where some the Slytherin defenders were congregated. She caught a glimpse of Theo barking orders, his faux blonde and blue hair hidden under a camouflaged cap.
She looked down when she heard a soft beep, watching the lion on her chest fade to black. She turned, not surprised to see Draco's signature smirk and his wand pointed at her.
"This is exactly what I told Harry would happen," she said to him, her shoulders falling.
He put his arm around her, safe since she was no longer in play. "All's fair in love and Capture the Flag." He leaned down to kiss her cheek and run off but she grabbed his hand.
"Well, now that I'm out, I have nothing to do." She looked up at him, biting her lower lip seductively, pressing her hand to the waistband of his camouflage sweatpants.
He looked so genuinely conflicted. She watched with amusement as he warred with himself, a look of determination overtaking him.
"No. This is the last Capture the Flag game. We've won three years in a row... it's too important," he answered, though he made no effort to push her off.
She pressed her hand into his pants, brushing her lips to his neck. "I promise," she whispered, "I'll make it worth your while.
His jaw went wide and he pressed his groin into her hand. "My dorm?" he whispered.
She nodded, grabbing his hand and urging Draco to ignore the shouts from his fellow Slytherins.
The Gryffindors won for the first time since they were Second Years, though Draco admitted - it was worth it.
A/N: Thank you to Art3misia and Astrangefan for Alphabet support. Comments/reviews are always much appreciated!