"no longer do i pray
for love
i ask God
for the strength
to survive the pain"

~r.h. Sin

-Mikia's POV-

Bang! Bang! As much as I should have been used to the sound of banging and slamming of doors, waking up to it never failed to startle me. Shooting up from the bed, I immediately felt my head spin. Holding my head, it took me all of about three seconds to remember what the hell had happened the day before. And what was the catalyst for the memories to come crashing back down on me?

"Let me in dammit! I know Mikia is here!" Katashi's voice could be heard clearly through the closed door, and my gaze shot to my right where Kenma had been the night before. But I was met with untidy blankets and sheets. The sound of the shower could just be heard over the murmuring panic that was quickly filling my head. However, that murmur turned into a full on roar when the handle of the door jiggled and the door swung open just enough for a dark-haired blur to come in and shut the door back, locking it behind them.

"Endou-san," the man I remembered to be Kuroo turned towards me, approaching me slowly with a reassuring smile on his lips, "It's alright. We aren't going to let him hurt you again. Akaashi and Bokuto won't even let him know you are here." As he made it to the bed, his kind, hazel eyes met mine as if asking permission before slowly lowering himself into a sitting position at the foot of the bed when I didn't protest.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure who you're talking about," Akaashi's voice could be heard just through the door. To my relief, I heard no fear in his voice. It was calm and unwavering, seemingly uninterested. Maybe that would be enough to deter Katashi from demanding to come in. The room around me seemed to shake as I looked down at my hands and realized, I was the one shaking, badly at that. This wasn't like me. Come on, Mikia. Get yourself together, for fuck's sake. But I wasn't able to do it this time. The panic was too great. I was causing too much trouble for the people around me, and I had no idea how to make it better. I should never have come here. I'm just burdening all of them. My hands began to shake worse, and I felt my breath beginning to come out in gasps.

A clearing of a throat snapped me out of my internal torment and panic, and I looked up to see Kuroo there with a reassuring smile, his arms open in invitation. Normally, I would run away in this situation, determined to handle it by myself, but as the corners of my vision began to go dark from the hyperventilating, I made the decision that I knew I needed at that moment.

Without another thought, I crawled out of under the covers and into the open arms of the raven-haired man. As soon as I got in his arms, he gently cradled me into himself, holding me protectively and gently stroking the ends of my ratty hair.

"I promise he's not going to get to you, Endou-san. You're safe," Kuroo's low voice vibrated deep into my skull, drowning out the cacophony of panic, and slowly but surely brought me back to my senses. It was only then that I realized I had his t-shirt in a death grip, but I made no move to let go. Instead, allowing the feeling of his soft cotton shirt in my hands to ground me as I focused on the sounds coming from the front door.

"Don't feed me that bullshit! This gray-haired asshole was flirting with her even though she had a boyfriend! Why wouldn't he have her here?" Katashi demanded, causing me to freeze and let out a slight whimper at the memory of the night of my meeting of Bokuto in the lobby. There were probably still scars on my back from the glass that had cut my skin that night. I wasn't sure. I had honestly been too afraid to check. Kuroo's grip tightened slightly around me for a moment in a reassuring squeeze.

"Endou-san, you're alright. You're safe," he murmured softly. How he knew the words I needed to hear, I wasn't sure, but I allowed myself to believe the lip service for the moment. My sanity depended on it.

"Well, I assure you if my boyfriend brought her here, I'd be the first one to kick her ass to the curb," Akaashi replied, sounding slightly annoyed at the idea. I silently thanked the seemingly level-headed man for handling Katashi so well.

"You're not dating him! You're just covering his ass!"

"Actually, I'm the one doing things to his ass-" Bokuto's loud voice was interrupted by a bought of silence that was only broken by Kuroo's snort as he tried to hold back his laugh. Even I cracked an amused smile as our eyes met. It only got worse when Katashi's voice rang out.

"Ew! I didn't realize my neighbors were fucking fags! Disgusting!" That outburst was followed by the sound of the door slamming. Well, after nearly 3 years of dating, I had never learned that Katashi was homophobic as well. I mentally tried to remind myself that I further dodged a bullet by leaving, even if I had no idea what to do next.

"Endou-san," Kuroo's voice was soft to get my attention, bringing my focus back to him, "Let's go get something to eat, hm? You didn't eat much last night." I shook my head no on reflex as I moved out of his embrace which he allowed with no resistance, something I was quite appreciative of.

"No. I'll get going. I've been enough of a burden to you all already," I responded, flinching a bit as my nose throbbed, reminding me that Kuroo set it last night for me, "Can I get some instructions for taking care of my nose though?" My focus remained on Kuroo as the door to the bathroom opened.

"Kuro, don't tell her anything until she eats breakfast," a calm voice stated causing me to turn in slight frustration to Kenma who was towel drying his pudding-colored hair.

"I appreciate it, Kenma-san, but I don't want to bother you all anymore," I reiterated, surprised when his cat-like eyes met mine, unwavering.

"If you don't eat here, you'll just end up burdening someone else. Just eat first if you're so insistent on leaving," he replied bluntly, taking me aback. There was no malice in his voice, just reason, and I found myself nodding in defeat without much more than a grumble of wanting to manage fine on my own. A knock on the door stopped the conversation in its tracks.

Kuroo walked over to the door and unlocked it before opening it, and full on cackling as soon as he saw Bokuto, slapping him on his back and teasing him for his comment earlier. His laugh caught me off guard. It was loud, jovial, but honest, unashamed, a kind of laugh that made you want to smile and laugh too. Akaashi rolled his eyes, looking fed up with the two's antics as he turned his attention to me.

"Endou-san, don't worry. He's gone," he assured with a gentle smile that put me a bit at ease before adding, "Also, we finished making breakfast, and we'd really like if you'd stay here to eat." I could practically feel Kenma's gaze burning into my head as I reluctantly nodded with a small smile as to not seem ungrateful.

As I was led into the kitchen area, I found my focus shifting. What exactly was I supposed to do now? It was too late to go live in the dorms for this semester. I still had 4 months left until I would be able to even potentially go back to the dorms. I could possibly stay in a women's shelter, but I didn't want anyone pestering me about a damned police report. I just wanted to leave this whole hellish situation in the past.

But what would I do about safety? Katashi knew my schedule and the university I went to. He would easily be able to find me and corner me at school, and I didn't want to bother anyone else with all of this. I could tell Castillo, but that man would lose his shit. And I really didn't want to lose one of our best team members on the judo team. I could get pepper spray or something in case of emergencies. My mind was so focused on planning my next move, I hadn't realized that I had been sat down at the table and an omelet had been placed in front of me along with some miso soup and rice.

"Do you not like traditional breakfast foods, Mikia-chan? We have some pancake mix too if you'd like that more! You have to eat, Mikia-chan!" Bokuto's loud voice snapped me out of my thoughts causing me to shake my head and give him a small, fake smile to reassure him.

"No. This all looks great, Bokuto-san. Thank you both for the food," I replied, "Itadakimasu." Slowly, I started to nibble on the omelet, which tasted amazing, and I felt myself smile a bit to myself, which apparently didn't go unnoticed.

"He maybe loud and obnoxious sometimes, but Bokuto makes a pretty great omelet, huh?" Kuroo said from left causing me to look at him and nod in agreement.

"Hey hey hey! Whose the obnoxious one, you stupid rooster?!" Bokuto yelled indignantly earning a slight scoff from me at his rooster comment. The two of them went back and forth a bit until a calm voice cut through it all.

"What are you going to now, Mikia?" Kenma asked point blank, something I was coming to understand was typical for the shorter male. All other conversation ceased, and the attention of the other three men went straight to me, making me feel a bit uneasy.

"I'll figure something out. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about me. You all have done more than enough," I replied, trying to sound unconcerned. I did technically have a plan though I didn't know how safe it would be. To my relief, despite not looking content with my answer, no one pressed me any further throughout the rest of breakfast.

Due to being used to rushing to eat breakfast in the morning, I finished first and went to the kitchen to wash my dishes, further trying to mentally plan my next move. I could use places with public wifi to do my homework, but I'd need to find some place that Katashi wouldn't think to look for me.

"You don't have a plan for when you leave here," Kenma's voice said from behind me, quiet enough that it wouldn't be heard outside of the kitchen. I turned around to see him looking straight at me with his arms crossed.

"I'm going to go to a women's shelter until I can move into a dorm at the end of the semester," I responded back, hoping he would stop pitying me.

"He could find you there, you know? That's probably one of the first places he'll look," Kenma replied. I flinched at the thought, and as I felt the need to run, I decided that I was done doing that.

"Then where the hell else would I go?" I spat back, feeling bitter about a situation that I put myself in and not knowing what the hell I could do about it anymore.

"With me and Kuro," he responded without missing a beat causing me to freeze and look at him as though he had grown two heads, a look that he returned with a roll of his eyes as he uncrossed his arms and explained.

"We rent a house that has a spare room in it. You need a place to stay where that douschebag can't find you. He's never met me or Kuro, so he won't even think anything when he sees us. I'm sure Bokuto and Akaashi would let you stay here, but he lives here and that's dangerous. Kuro works near the college so you could ride with him to school and Lev, as annoying as that idiot is, could walk with you to classes. It's not safe for you to be alone right now," he explained, "It's not a burden to us, and the door to the spare room has a lock and everything. Look, you need help. We want to help. Staying with us prevents you having to explain it to anyone else unless you choose to."

I scowled, hating how much what he said made sense. I didn't want to just accept help from other people without doing anything for them. I decided at that point, since I would be stupid to turn down the offer, I would do whatever I could to repay them or help contribute to the house stuff, even if it was just through cleaning and cooking for the two.

"Are you sure I wouldn't be a burden to you and Kuroo-san?" I asked hesitantly, and Kenma shook his head.

"We actually already talked about it and he agreed to it as well," Kenma said, and I felt myself once again taken aback by the unapologetic kindness these guys were showing a random stranger. With that decided, my body went on autopilot trying to process everything, as I went ahead and washed all the dishes that were in the sink before returning to the living room to see Kenma and Kuroo talking, with Kuroo having a slight smirk on his face.

"Awwww, but I wanted Mikia-chan to stay with me and Akaashi!" Bokuto was whining causing me to scoff a bit at that causing the attention of the four men in the room to turn to me.

"Well too bad, you dumbass horned-owl! We get to have her come with us!" Kuroo said, making a taunting face at Bokuto before turning to me with a grin, "Ready to go, Endou-san?" His smile was a bit infectious, and I couldn't help but let a small one spread across my face as well.

"Sure. I'll be in your care, Kuroo-san, Kenma-san. Also, please call me Mikia," I replied with a polite bow. When I looked up, Akaashi stood in front of me with a tan jacket and red scarf. As he held the jacket open for me to put on, I looked at him in confusion.

"If you need anything, Mikia-san, Kuroo-san and Kenma both have my number. Let us help you now. Just until you can get back on your feet," Akaashi stated as I finished putting on the jacket and he secured the scarf around my neck, "Please don't hesitate to reach out alright? Especially if the dumbass rooster bothers you too much." I snickered at that last comment, and as my gunmetal blue eyes met Akaashi's I saw a sincerity and pain there that I hadn't noticed before. Something about his expression made me nod without argument.

"Alright. Thank you, Akaashi-san," I said, and noticed Kuroo and Kenma putting their shoes on. And beside them, a pair of what looked like brand new red and white Nike sneakers, to which I looked up accusingly at Akaashi before just shaking my head and smiling as a couple tears escaped my eyes. There were too many emotions bouncing around in my head.

"No use arguing with him and Bokuto. I learned that the hard way," Kenma stated bluntly from beside me. I nodded in agreement and put on the new sneakers, deciding to just be grateful for the help I was receiving. I would find a way to repay them all. I didn't know how yet, but there was one thing I was sure of as we made our way outside and looked up at the sun peeking out from behind the clouds, a few stray tears of relief falling down my face. Despite not wanting to burden anyone, it really did feel good not to be alone.

Song: It's On Us by AJR