Iku walks with us, even though I had been the reason Gon and I even gotten blindsided like that. Iku's stride is confident and fluid, like she was ready for anything. She reminded me a little of my brother, the way she moved but she was so far from him too. I watched Iku closely because I do trust her and I shouldn't, not this fast.

"There's another town not too far from here, it's got a great little sandwich shop, their subs are huge, you guys'll like them." Iku smiles at us but she closes her eyes and her nen is still around us, that's got to be draining her… unless she's a lot stronger than she lets on.

"How can you keep your nen around us?" I'll have to use Gon's method and just ask.

"I'm much older than both of you, I have a lot more experience and while you both are very strong, I have a lot of stamina. I keep my nen constantly expanding at all times. Actually… I'd like for both of you to do the same, mind as well build stamina while we're just walking."

"Oh yeah!" Gon expands his nen "that's a great idea."

"It's not a bad one." I follow their lead, Iku is right, it's a good idea. Getting strong is always a good idea but man is it hard to walk like this.

"Start with a smaller area." Iku instructs "just surround your bodies, you'll overwork yourselves if you try to hold it at the same as mine. You're both offensive fighters, you're used to powerful bursts, learn to conserve energy and you'll be able to hold your nen better."

"Who trained you?" Gon asks her already listening to her. I was able shrink my own nen just to the space around me but even that was taxing. At least Gon is struggling too.

"I trained myself." Iku's tone is obviously dismissive but Gon is oblivious

"Wow, you really taught yourself, how'd you do that?" Gon is beginning to sweat with his exerted effort, Iku's right, Gon uses up so much energy, this particular exercise is going to be especially helpful to him.

"Practice." Iku's short answers should be enough but Gon still missing it.

"How'd you discover your nen abilities?"

"They manifested easily. My nen always knew what it wanted to be." Iku doesn't look at him and Gon is getting impatient.

"How do develop mine then?" Gon ask.

"You don't develop it." Iku finally makes eye contact with him, she's comfortable with this she even looks happy to help.

"You hone your nen and let it develop you. It will solidify into your most comfortable weapon whether they be emissions of nen, brawler type moves where you coat your body in hardened nen or it may solidify into a weapon you can summon at any moment. Don't force your nen into something it's not, nen is life energy, it is you extended out into a weapon or a shield. It is not an extension of you, it is you. Your nen gets sucked up, like that guy you saw when we first met, that is your life being drained, lose too much of it and you're dead but on the other hand if you are too afraid of using it, you'll limit yourself."

"Wait really?" Gon asks. Gon and I knew about the first part, using too much would kill you, get too much taken from you and you're dead but not using enough?

"Fear is limiting, being overly cautious is limiting."

I half expect her to look back at me but she doesn't and I'm kind of thankful for it. People look at me weird but Gon doesn't… and neither does Iku.

"I have to balance then." Gon tries put it into a coherent thought in his head but he was struggling. "Everything is about balance." Iku drapes her arm over Gon, protective and caring, its interesting to see up close. Illumi is my only experience with siblings and just that thought of my big brother sends shivers down my spine. Iku glances back at me, concern clear in her eyes.

"Is this good?" I ask to distract her from asking if I'm okay.

Iku nods "That's a great starting point, slowly we'll expand your nen so you don't overwork yourselves but you also build your stamina as fast as possible."

"Right." Gon nods.

"How did your nen form like it did?" I ask her. I saw the shift in her eyes. The distance from herself.

"Same way yours will." Iku clears her throat and wraps her other arm around me, dragging me to her side.

"Good job guys, you'll be on my level in no time." She smiles about it, our success can't possibly mean that much, especially if it mean surpassing her. Which we will, we're younger and have more potential… unless she's lying about her age of course.

"Are you really an adult?" I surprise myself with the question.

"I'm not gonna answer that again." She didn't hide her annoyance this time. I've learned a lot about her and I didn't even have to ask most of the questions. Irritated people are a lot easier to learn from than happy ones even if they're just pretending to be happy. I don't think she's dangerous, but she doesn't actually care about us, she's using us to fill a hole.

"Where are you headed anyway." I ask an easier question. She relaxes, I knew she would.

"My home is a small island off the coast, it's about a month's journey on foot and two days boat ride. I'll have to get some money for the boat ride but I'm sure I can figure that out along the way."

"Not concerned about too much huh?" Why haven't I shrugged her off yet? Why is her nen so warm… and comforting.

"Hey!" I shove her away and straight into Gon.

"What was that for?" Gon had reaches to steady her but she doesn't need it.

"Are you using your stupid lullaby ability?" I can't believe I trusted her for even a second. She's just as bad as everyone else.

"Oh…" she laughs, she just starts laughing.

"What are you trying to pull here?" I inch around so I can grab Gon from her but she drops her arm, she was tracking me, she noticed what I was going for.

"The natural properties of my nen are comforting to others. It's not an ability, it doesn't do anything and it's very easy to resist. You have a very sharp nen, even when you're not trying to hurt anyone, it'll make a great defensive and offensive ability once it fully develops." She smiles at me and there it s again, that sadness. In her eyes and that fake smile. I wish she would just tell us what she's really doing. I wish she would stop pretending with us, as if we're too young to understand, as if we're just kids and we couldn't handle it.

"My nen is expanded over us for a few meters, you've been feeling my nen this whole time. When I put my arm on you it intensified, that was my fault. I should have asked if it was okay and I should have warned you. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing." I snaps "I pushed you."

"I overstepped your boundaries, that was my mistake." Iku's too calm about all this. I could have hurt her. I could have hit her with a burst of nen. I could have–

"Hey look, the town!" Gon runs ahead and Iku smiles after him, why is everything she does laced with sadness.

"I hate fake smiles." I grumble walking passed her. She caught up easily.

"Sometimes smiling feels better than crying." Her voice is so low I barely catch it but when I look at her, she's doing it again. Smiling at me, tears on the cusp of falling. She pats my head and tucks her hands into her hoodie pocket. "Let's go eat something, a little sugar makes everything better." Iku holds her smile and her sadness gets buried in her eyes. She hides it really well that's for sure.

"Yeah… sugar does.'' Why do you even care about us I want to know that more than anything else. You don't even know us.

Iku takes us right to the promised sandwich shop and the sandwiches is actually as big as promised, maybe even bigger. Gon orders without regard and Iku waves me forward.

"Get what you want." She and Gon with their smiles, their faces had to be getting tired, always smiling and for what? Nothing, they smile at me, like I'm worthy of the kindness. Like I hadn't already killed over a hundred people for some money.

"What can I get for you?" The guy smiles too and that's really irritating too. A hand interrupts my irritation and Iku orders something. My ears are ringing, all I see are her lips moving. She looks at me

Can I calm you? I have to read her lips. Her hand reaches out for me and she cradles my face. Warmth spreads from her fingertips and fills me, I can hear, she's humming softly. My hands was on her wrists.

"Are you okay?" She watches me. Gon stands beside me. What the hell happened?

"Here you go." The man hands a few bags over. Iku's hands falls away from my face and my hands tighten around her wrists holding her there.

"Thank you."

She guides me and Gon to a table, her hand on my back, she uses her free hand to give us our food and ate hers with one while she taps her fingertips against my back.

"What's wrong?" Gon asks me, his mouth full of sandwich.

"Nothing." I tear into my own sandwich and let Iku continue to drum her fingers across my back. If it makes her feel better then whatever she'll leave us soon enough.

"Keep your nen up." Iku remind us, her nen hasn't wavered once, she's kept it at a constant radius.

"Oh yeah." Gon fixes it as fast as he can. I have better control over my nen than Gon but not any near the same level as Iku. she acts like she isn't doing anything. I want to be that relaxed. I thought I had been trained so thoroughly and no one thought I should hone my nen? How did that make any sense? The ringing was coming back but Iku's fingers tapping against me kept me here, kept me sane.

"Killua." Gon's watching me again.

"Are you okay?" He scrutinizes me, eyes that had no idea what kind of pain the world is filled with and he never will if I have anything to do with it.

"Working with nen constantly can be extremely mentally taxing." Iku eats her sandwich as hungrily as us, her warm hand still tapping away at my back,

"It can heighten emotions and make you feel mentally raw. Or it can make you feel psychotically giddy." Iku glances at Gon "you are the type that could get giddy so be careful, push yourself to expand your nen but don't over-exert yourself." Iku is firm about this, it must be serious.

"If you need to rest, rest, if you are hungry, eat, if you'd like a lullaby," Iku holds out her free hand "ask me or just place my hand on your head or shoulder and I'll replenish your nen. My lullaby is not to be overused in place of sleep as it is stressful for your body to heal at an accelerated rate."

"What'll happen if it gets overused?" Gon asks "will it hurt you?"

"No, I have trained my lullaby to withstand anything, it doesn't tax me to use it. It will put too much strain on your body to the point where you'll have a psychotic break or you could even become a vegetable. An overworked psyche is just as dangerous as overworked nen. The mind will try to protect itself in whatever way it feels is necessary."

"If our own minds limit us, how do we make it stronger?" Gon ask. Iku's eyes are full of sadness.

"Your desire has to be greater than the pain." Her fingers stop tapping against me and she's absolutely still.

"I don't understand." Gon sighs, scratching at his head.

What does that even mean, so stupid I roll my eyes and eat my sandwich. After a few seconds she continues drumming her fingers.

"You don't need to worry about breaking yourself yet, you need to worry about building yourself, when you've reached your first peak, that's when you'll shatter yourself and start from scratch. Treat every peak as if its your weakest. Trick your mind into new limiters and you'll become unstoppable."

Gon watches her and smiles "so how strong are you really?" Iku tries to smile but whatever those words trigger for her, even she can't muster one.

"Strong enough." Her fingers still and press against me as if she thinks I'm was going somewhere.

"That's really strong." Gon beams at her and returns his attention to his sandwich. He's right, that is strong, to be strong enough. Is that how she got away from Illumi? She was just strong enough? I shovel the last bite into my mouth what could I do if I was as strong as I needed to be?

"How about some cake?" Iku found her smile again and she turns it on me full force. "I know a really good place." She's such a faker. We can't trust her and that's all there is to it.

"Sure, sounds good." I smile back at her, two could play this game and I can play this game a lot better than you can, Iku.

Author's Note:

As Always, thanks so much for reading. I'd love to read your thoughts.

this is a story I'm considering publishing, obviously taking away the copywrite elements.

What are your thoughts on Iku.

the story line?

ship requests or predicted ships.

Thanks for giving my words some eyes, I'll see you guys tomorrow or later tonight if i have time to post again.

XOXO