Love Through Time

Summary: He lost her once when he was Youko. He met her again as Shuichi Minamino - and though she had no memories of the bond they used to share, Kurama vowed to stay away from her to prevent from hurting her again. But the thing called fate would soon prove it to be difficult as he found himself falling for her a second time.

A/N: So I realize that some of you might have received notifications on your email that I updated this fic. I apologise for the inconvenience and false hope I might have given anyone. I actually posted a very emotional, very personal, very sensitive message and part of a long story-telling of my life. It was a decision made in a pain-induced state of mind because of menstrual pain, and was done with barely much thought before I stopped to think about it and figured it wasn't the best course of action. I was afraid of the negative response that I might get as any toxicity or negativity could be detrimental not only to my own mental health, but also to the mental health of the guest who bravely reached out to me and others who are experiencing and/or have experienced the same thing. But I still felt like it was an important message so I moved it to my bio, in case anyone would like to or need to read it.

Disclaimer: I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Chapter 7

When he had decided to offer his assistance to Yusuke in fighting off Hiei, Kurama was torn between two tremendously genuine yet profusely conflicting emotions.

A huge part of him was afraid of the prospect of seeing Botan again as it would no doubt evoke as strong a reaction within him as their previous interaction, but a bigger part of him which still yearned to be near her compelled him to head to the warehouse where Hiei and Yusuke was indulging in battle. That, and he also felt the obligation to express his deep-rooted gratitude for Yusuke's help in curing his mother by repaying his debt to the detective.

When he saw the ache in Botan's torment-contorted face as she tried to fend off Keiko's increasingly opening Jagan eye, Kurama was gripped with a sudden intense feeling of outrage towards Hiei. Granted, the fire demon was blissfully ignorant of what the ferry girl meant to him, but he felt nevertheless angered at his friend for causing Botan pain - the sentiment only intensified tenfold when he figured that knowing Hiei, in all likelihood, he probably still wouldn't care regardless if he was made aware of who she was. Despite the odd blended whirlwind of emotions spurring within his gut though, Kurama briskly pushed the negative feelings down in order to proffer Botan some moment of reprieve.

After taking a stab to his abdomen in Yusuke's stead and blinding Hiei with his own ichor, Kurama had instantly trudged his way towards the ferry girl. She didn't seem to discern his presence until she felt the warmth of his hand on hers and saw bigger, more callous and longer fingers grasp around her smaller and more tender ones. When she spun her head to regard him with lilac, widened orbs in surprise, Kurama attempted not to let it show that the contact of his hand against hers was having its own effect on him. Whilst she was in shock over his abrupt appearance, Kurama was trying to suppress the wild, high-pitched palpitations of his heart as he reinforced his hold around her hand. Her fingers are still as soft and warm as ever. He mentally noted in mild adoration before he gained some subtlety in their current circumstances and inwardly shook his head as if to chastise himself.

"Kurama!" Botan's yelp of astonishment mingled with slight glee as it rumbled from the back of her throat. Was she happy to see him? The notion made his heart swell in a strong rush of male pride and surge of joy before he briskly quelled his emotions to endorse a neutral expression as she went on to voice out her question, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to lend Yusuke some aid," he answered, forcing his voice to be as stoic as possible before he took a fleeting second to pause in his elucidation as she shot him a deep, baffled frown in return. He slanted his lips into a patient smile before adding, as if to remind her, "to compensate what I owe to him for saving my mother's life."

"O-oh," was her only response as if to indicate that she was too startled to utter anything else, her pretty features expressing her flabbergasted state by all accounts before the guise instantly faltered from her visage as another strike of lightning coursed through her fingers. She gave out a short wince before attempting to refocus on the task at hand.

Profound concern striked at the middle of his chest as Kurama caught the mere implication of her pain. He was brisk in prying her hands away from their hovering position over Keiko's forehead and could sense her confusion as he levitated his own over the brunette's face before he calmly supplied, "You've done enough. Let me help you."

There was a perplexed blink. "But you don't owe me anything," came her swift reply, heavily laced with bewilderment, yet he detected the latent hint of worry as she watched him muster up enough demon energy to force Keiko's Jagan eye shut again.

He didn't answer at once as he mulled over whether he should justify her remark with a riposte. Sparing a short-lived glance at the ferry girl's fretting bearing, the redhead promptly opted to respond, his timbre barely above the octave of a hushed whisper as he murmured, "Perhaps. But you are a friend of Yusuke's nevertheless." But it was a lie of course - an effortless, smooth fabrication he came up on the spot as he couldn't exactly disclose the truth that he simply didn't want to see her hurt.

A single, delicate blue eyebrow raised at him in a slightly doubtful manner as an equally suspicious look invaded her pools of lavenders. It was different from the distrust she had conferred him in their first meeting, and instead seemed to give away that she had caught on to his easy bluff. He pondered over the possibility of her retaining her ability of reading through him from her previous life, but slackened his rigid form as she expelled a soft yet defeated sigh, as if she opted to let it slide and not probe further into the matter.

Whether she reckoned she didn't have the right to push through the subject, or whether she was unsure of the falsification she could sense from him, Kurama was more than beholden that she chose not to prod. He wouldn't have known how to answer her questions at any rate.

"Thanks again, you two," Yusuke's gruff, boyish voice echoed through the walls of the warehouse as he placed both hands around the back of Keiko's knees, wrapping her legs around him as he hoisted her up in the air and carried her unconscious body on his back. He levelled a rather apologetic gaze on Kurama and Botan, the note of embarrassment dormant in the moderate pink coloring his cheeks as he went on, "Er, sorry for being an ass after you've helped out and all, but I gotta take Keiko back to her place before her parents start asking questions. I do appreciate everything though."

"No need," Kurama retorted with a dismissive wave of his hand, a good-natured smile latched on the corners of his lips as he proceeded to reassure the detective. "Consider it as an obligation of mine or something of the sort. You've assisted me on a bigger scale with my mother. What I did was relatively a small gesture compared to yours."

"Well, in my part, it's simply my duty to help you as your assistant, Yusuke," Botan's voice instantly chimed in. "And Keiko's a lovely girl. No one would want her to turn into Hiei 2.0. And you can't forget that there wouldn't be Yusuke and Keiko without Keiko!" she continued in a girlish giggle, her consoling timbre taking on a more playful approach as she curled her lips into a mischievous, cheshire-like grin. Yusuke's cheeks flushed a bright scarlet hue as he sputtered out incoherent barbles at the friendly jibe.

"Shut up, Botan!" he eventually shouted in a feigned insulted tone as if to shelter his brewing embarrassment. There were a couple more exchanged banters between them, mostly consisting of Botan sticking her tongue out at him and proffering snarky remarks in response to his denial of his feelings for Keiko, before the detective finally directed his attention back to Kurama.

"Sorry to leave this annoying brat with you, Kurama. Thanks again for the help and just don't pay attention to her too much," he grumbled in a grudging voice as he shot Botan a withering look as if for added emphasis. The ferry girl sounded an offended, horrified gasp from the back of her throat before expelling out a string of furious counterattacks as Yusuke quickly swivelled around and hastened his feet out of there before Botan could even afford the time to summon her oar and fling it over his head.

"Ugh! He managed to escape," she mithered under her breath then muttered something imperceptible about flippant spirit detectives undeserving of respect before pivoting her purple irises back to the redhead. Her brows were knitted together into a deep frown as she slowly inquired in a cautious tone, "You don't think that I'm a nuisance though, do you, Kurama?"

One of his eyebrows rose in mild surprise at her abrupt question. "No, not really. I would go as far as saying that your presence is quite pleasant, Botan," he rippled out the honest response before he could stop himself.

Silence suddenly hung in the air as he eyed her ivory cheeks darken into a shade of cute crimson before he eventually realized the flirtatious tone he had involuntarily assumed in his riposte, along with the warm implication in his words. If it were any normal situation, he would have either chuckled in amusement at the adorable display or blood would have rushed to his head in shame over his unabashed declaration. But it wasn't and he wasn't supposed to be getting too attached to her, causing a fusing emotion of dread, along with ire directed at himself, to pool in his gut as he recalled the last time he got too close to her. Not this time. I can't land her in danger again.

"That wasn't…" he trailed off as his voice was lower than he wanted it to be. There was a palpable touch of distraught in his timbre before he took a moment to repress it and regain his impartial tone as he recouped his presence of mind. "It wasn't supposed to come across in that manner. I do apologize."

The blush on her countenance transposed into a lighter salmon pink as the embarrassment that had poured over her prior to his false explanation eventually dwindled. Although, he detected a short-lived allusion of faint disappointment in her understanding violets as she waved a hand at him in a dismissive manner and supplied him with a light-hearted yet clearly forged reply, "Goodness, don't worry about it. I didn't take it the wrong way."

The Youko within his subconscious dwelled on the reason she would inexplicably be disappointed at his choice of words. Did she still harbor romantic feelings for him? Or was she a little infatuated with him due to his looks? Either one it was, Kurama coerced himself into brushing aside his own desires for her from scratching the surface as he reminded himself that he was unworthy of her probable affections in any case. He was the cause of her downfall the last time, he refused to be one to prompt peril to befall her once again a second time.

"I should go," he mumbled under his breath. It wasn't the best course of action to have him loitering around her. The more time he spent with her, the more powerful his feelings became and he couldn't permit that or else his steeled resolve would waver.

He braced himself for the pain and was about to gather the remnants of his strength to push himself off of the floor when the ferry girl positioned both hands on his shoulders in the instant he was halfway through, swift in her motions as she gently impelled him to return to his seat on the ground.

"Oh, no, you don't," she huffed with a light scolding tone as she tenderly forced him to lie on his back against the wooden box behind him once more. "You're staying here until we tend to your wounds. You can't tell me you're going back home with a gaping hole in your stomach," she insisted, and before he knew it, was already rubbing her palms together as if in a gesture that she was readying herself for a healing session.

His astonishment took longer than needed to die down from his system, but once it did, it was replaced with an inordinate stream of worry gripping him at his sides as he put two and two together and comprehended her intentions. "You musn't," he implored her, his voice more desperate than he wished it to be. "I can take care of myself, I can assure you."

"Now that's just nonsense, Kurama," she sounded the demeaning scoff before she pinned a long, hard stare of solid determination on his form. Her feminine timbre was all too knowing for his comfort as she stated, "I think the both of us are aware that you're not in a condition to even stand, much less walk."

He parted his lips and opened them like a fish as the sheer urge to reassure her that her services were unneeded rose from under his skin. However, he eventually drew his mouth tight into a single, thin line of muted displeasure at himself when the realization hit him that he had no comebacks prepared. "You are accurate in your perceptions, but I must beseech you against healing my injuries. I wasn't bluffing when I said that I can do it myself."

To his surprise, the ferry girl briskly scooted closer before he could summon up the will to stand up again, her sudden movement rooting him to the spot as he felt an abrupt squeezing force sweeping through his cheeks as she all of a sudden delivered a single, harmless clap with both hands on either side of his face. The shock didn't originate from her odd conduct though, and instead, was evoked from the fact that he was actually familiar with the gesture. It was an indication of benign reprimanding, the sort of chastising signal she would confer him whenever he was too stubborn to listen to her requests back when he was Youko and she deemed it necessary to do it in order to gently force him into yielding to her. The memory that flashed in his mind brought upon a wave of profuse elation to pour over him like water down his back as much as it elicited a sloosh of abundant anguish to coil around his heart like a snake.

…It wasn't fair that she preserved so much of her former attributes from her past life that he found it increasingly difficult to refuse.

"Sorry, did that hurt?" she asked him, an impertinent grin slanting at the edges of her lips as she eventually drew her hands away from his face. Kurama tried to suppress the disappointment that built up in his chest at the loss of warmth he felt as her fingers slowly glided from his skin. "I hope you do excuse me. It's a habit, you see. I get people to stop talking and be more compliant whenever I do that," she explicated once he was unresponsive, a hint of apologetic tone fundamental in her amiable voice as the well-articulated syllables left his lips.

"...No, it doesn't. You merely startled me, is all," he finally reinstated his capability of speech once he located his voice again after what felt like an interminable duration of silence.

And it was true. Even back when he was Youko, she had never smacked him hard enough for it to cause much discomfort, and endorsed light force just enough to apply a shocking effect on him so that he would be more inclined to oblige. It was more of an affectionate rebuke than anything ill-meaning. He wasn't sure if he had somehow obtained a masochistic streak of some sort after he had met her though as he took into account that most of the time his love for her pressed him to abide and let her do whatever she wanted. And he was mostly fixated on the gratifying sensations of her touch in the brief moment she would permit her hands to linger as they cupped his cheeks to actually care about anything else.

Just like now. He mused, the budding ache at the middle of his chest pooling up even more as he discerned his own craving for the feeling of her soft fingers on his flesh, the need to feel her warmth sapping into his skin heightening ever so slightly as he inadvertently reinstated his former spoiled demeanor around her. After all this time, he presumed he had gotten over his propensity to want more of her affection, the impulse to hold her hand and intertwine their fingers together in the way she used to do with him all too conspicuous and potent as his unfathomable depths of romantic feelings for her returned in full force. He shut his eyelids tight, brows furrowing in deep concentration as he tried to thwart the compulsion to devote his heart to her again. The hand clutching on the wide gash on his abdomen tightened a tad bit as he instinctively compressed his fingers through the bloodied fabric of his uniform in his desperation to push away his adoration towards her.

I can't feel this. I can't feel this. I can't feel this-

But the girl, as habitual, tended to function in a way that made it harder for him to resist her. He kept repeating the single line of thought over and over in the recesses of his subconscious in order to at least quell a sliver of his intimacy for her, only for his efforts to prove to be futile as she positioned a hand over the one on his clothed stomach, his passion for her simply uplifting to newfound heights as he felt her pry his fingers away from his punctured gut.

"Let me help you, Kurama. Like you helped me before," she supplicated, the plea tangible in her hushed whisper prompting him to flutter his eyes open to reveal a pair of pained greens as he levelled an unreadable gape on her face. His lips flattened into a tiny scowl at the entreating expression on her countenance, her vibrant, beautiful pools of amethysts peering back at him in a muted request as her lips granted him a radiant and warm smile.

There was a long-lasting pause before he eventually verbalized, "Fine. As you wish."

Feeling the all too familiar tug at his heartstrings at the poignant look she proffered him, Kurama steadily removed his hand from his stomach against his better judgement. A note of reluctance merged bizarrely with a hint of heart-rending delight as he hesitantly lifted the hem of his shirt to unveil the large lesion on his abdomen that was underneath, ichor oozing out of the lacerated gash as a gust of wind flitted over his exposed injury, causing him to flinch in mild ache as the sensation soon accompanied the ice-cold breeze.

The surface of her palms brushed against the wound and induced an unintended but fortunately faint jump of his body as the warmth of the rosy pads of her fingers whisked along the well-sculpted muscles of his abs. He observed as a light fluorescent blue hue formed all around her hand as she began to perform her healing powers on him, steadily but gradually forcing the damage on his gut closed. He felt cut tissue reconnect before the feeling was instantly followed with the familiar sensation of sliced skin inching close before he aimed his gaze upwards to her concentrated visage. He feasted his eyes on the earnest speck discernible in her jewel-like lilac orbs, drinking in the sight of the pink flush adorning her cheeks as his gape drifted lower. There was always that recognizable tint of salmon rose whenever he would see her - oftentimes it appeared as more of a glow than a blush, and it was one of the many things he adored about her. Aside from… His stare skirted downwards still as if on cue to ogle with a tincture of ardour at the tempting gloss of her soft-textured pink-colored lips. He still remembered what it was like to finally kiss her: her mouth was warm and soft, and she tasted like a pleasant mixture of honey-dew, her fragrance close to that of blended vanilla and sunflowers as he had often inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. Swallowing down a lump which had abruptly decided to lodge itself in his throat, the redhead directed his peridot irises to fixate on somewhere else on the boring old wall of the warehouse in order to repress the intense desire to pull her into his embrace, hating himself and angry at her all at once for igniting the equally heartfelt urge to kiss her breathless.

...How was she still the prettiest girl he had ever met?

"Thank you," he muttered, voice soft but sincere nevertheless as he noticed the loss of illuminated blue once she was finished with the task at hand. He was fortunate that she hadn't perceived his shameless staring or else he would have sped away towards the other direction.

He caught the distinct sound of shuffling as he studied what was left of his previously gaping injury, awestruck at the ferry girl's profound skills at healing as he noted that not even a scar remained on his skin. His flesh was unmarred, as if he had never procured or sustained the damage to begin with. His amazement, however, was brisk to subside as it gave way to a rush of surprise when he felt the slight brush of her shoulder against his and spun his head to the left to realize that the earlier shuffling noise from before was the result of her hurtling to lie on her back beside him. He watched her hum a gladdened hum before she proceeded to position her head on his shoulder. Kurama tried not to let on that his composure was perturbed nor did he express his wrecking nerves and keen content as he felt the gentle stroke of her cerulean tendrils tickling his cheek.

"Let me borrow your shoulder, okay? As compensation so that you don't have to throw your life away if you ever consider repaying your debt," she quipped in in an exuberant tone, the grin on her lips alluring and charming as it slanted to a skittish approach.

"I.." he was about to say, only to cut himself short as she clamped a hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn.

Drowsy tears peeked at the corners of her long, thick eyelashes as she continued to stretch her arms over her head before bringing her legs to her chest and resting her elbows on the slightly flushed skin of her knees. He blinked, startled and mystified at the same time as the impish grin on her mouth faltered and the girl fell into a deep slumber with a slump down his shoulder.

"Sorry… gonna sleep for five minutes…" she mumbled in the midst of incoherent burbles he couldn't make out before she thoroughly collapsed into a sleeping state in a matter of seconds later. It took him some moments to process the sudden turn of events before he eventually understood that holding off Keiko's Jagan eye from earlier must have taken its toll on her. She must have used a vast amount of her spirit energy, and had probably pushed herself beyond her limits in order to heal him.

"You're still as selfless as ever," he uttered the words in a deep, slightly exasperated sigh. She would always go so far just for others… and he hated it about her as much as he loved that her kind streak knew no bounds. She was truly a compassionate and well-meaning soul who deserved to be cherished by someone more deserving than him.

"Kurama," he heard her absent-mindedly mutter in her sleep. He had almost panicked until he discerned through the heaving up and down motions of her chest and her still shut eyelids that she was not awake. Relief overflooded his system as he slouched his shoulders down to relax his tense form. "I want to be friends… with you…" Briefly, he wondered what she could be dreaming about as she was incessantly mumbling incomprehensible purrs under her breath.

A twinge of hurt yanked at his heartstrings as the words left her lips. Friends? He wouldn't lie and say that he didn't wish for more. But he was acutely aware that romantic relations were something he could not afford the risk to pursue with her. Friendship, on the other hand, was a plausible prospect. Perhaps, he could befriend her. If he learned and taught himself not to go beyond the boundaries of their camaraderie, then maybe… it was alright. He was probably worthy of at least that - or at least he mused up until the line of thought intruded his mind:

No, it's more than I can ever hope for.

… His mother would no doubt ask a lot of questions to figure out where he had been. But it wasn't as if he could leave Botan alone, especially not when she was so deep in her slumber. He opted to wait for the girl to awaken from her nap and possibly - only possibly because he was supposed to be her friend - ensure that she would be able to fly back to Reikai safe and sound.

He was doing it as a friend. Because he was concerned, as a friend - he tried to convince himself of this. Because really, he didn't harbor the privilege for anymore than that.

As her head slowly skirted downwards from his shoulder to his chest, startling the fox out his reverie, the long, luscious locks of her ponytail promptly brushed against the tip of his nose and he instinctively took in her scent.

… She still smelled like vanilla and sunflowers, even after all these years.

saillovelypines- Yes, exactly. I was hungry and exhausted and sleep-deprived the entire time I was typing this chapter lol. Well, it does follow the canon storyline but only half-way through I guess. XD But still gonna be a long, hopefully enjoyable ride so look forward to it!

heartluv- I hope you'll like this chapter as well hehe! And well, I can't disclose what triggers her memories though because then it'll be a spoiler lmao. Again, as always, thank you for the support!

Guest- You know, I actually dedicated an entire 4k worth of message for you before posting it as a chapter on this fic. I transferred it to my bio though so please read through it if you have the time. It's probably not much help, but I hope that what I entailed over there in its entirety is enough to give you the drive and motivation you need. Please do reach out to me in case you want anyone to give you a shoulder. :)