Hi guys how you are doing. Hope you guys are safe during these dark times. Please try to be cautious guys this disease is very dangerous and we don't wanna loss anyone. Stay safe and don't drink and drive sorry I mean wear a mask.

Rant section

I looked up what is known about the Uzumaki clan and well they are known for a number of things. Firstly they are known for their longevity and strong life force. Evidence of this is seen in Mito living for over a hundred years. Kushina also survived the extraction of the 9 tails from her just after child birth and in her weakened state was able to somewhat hold down the 9 tails. She was also able to survive if only for a short while after she was impelled by the 9 tails. Nagato another Uzumaki according to what I read online was able to revive thousands of people before finally dying using a technique that trades a life for a life so these Uzumakis were really something (cockroaches). Secondly they were known for being very good at seals. Thirdly they were also known for their massive chakra reserves. Fourthly and this is just a hypothesis there chakra was special. Well they could manifest various abilities related to their chakra with the known abilities being the chakra chains able to supress the 9 tails and Karin's healing ability were she could heal a person from injury if they bite and suck on her chakra plus her incredible sensory abilities.

Why rant about this you ask? Well our protagonist is a half Uzumaki that much we can tell. Also Kushimoto seems to be a huge fan of clan abilities with so many clans being characterised by clan abilities. Well let's look at our protagonist shall we. I love Naruto he is my favourite character in anime followed by Grey from Fairy Tail but let's be honest Naruto as far as I know the only thing Naruto had that made him an Uzumaki was the massive reserves which could also be discredited due to being a jinchuuriki and the specific type of seal he had and also due to being born of a female jinchuuriki. Jinchuurikis were known for their massive reserves and healing abilities couples with incredible stamina. I analysed Kakashi's statement after Naruto was poisoned when they fought the demon brothers. From what I can tell Kakashi lied in order to hide the fact that it was the 9 tails healing Naruto and not his inherited healing ability since the 9 tails was a secret. So as far as I can tell it is most likely that Naruto didn't inherit anything from the Uzumaki line which is a bummer I mean he is the main character and there is nothing special about him. I mean he could have at least gotten some clan techniques or some special ability. Look at Boruto for goodness sake the boy is stacked with special abilities that it's not even funny and Naruto has none at all unless you count bullshitting your enemy to be your friend as a special ability. All his abilities can be learnt by anyone if they have the 9 tails and access to the toad summoning contract so come on guys this is just ridiculous. Come to this of it I don't think that Naruto ever knew about the Uzumaki temple just outside of the village and thats just plain stupid to me. I mean he heard about the Uzumaki clan from Kakashi and the dude didn't make an effort to find out more about them unless I missed something. Well these are just my opinions don't let them change your view of the anime.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto if I did I wouldn't have made Naruto a total moron.

Previously

"I cannot give you the key as long as you are still a genin and associating with him."

"Fine by me old man I will see you later then." With that Naruto left the office he wasn't affected by the leverage the old man had on him. The people left in the office decided to plan 1) how to get of Naruto's good side and

2) find this brother of his and eliminate him. So it's safe to say from then on Naruto was being watched like a hawk.

Now

After Naruto's threat things have been tense between Naruto and the leadership of the village. Naruto started to notice that the amount of ANBU tailing him has increased. Everywhere he went they would follow him and it was getting rather annoying I mean he found a couple of them in the public toilets while he was taking a dumb and let's just say by the end of the day there were rumours spreading sparkly pink ANBU running around. He had a good laugh about that but all things considered the situation was tough for him especially for his secret training. It was tough sneaking around to his secret training ground but he managed otherwise he wouldn't be Naruto Uzumaki. It's been two weeks since the incident in the Kage's office and several things have happened. Firstly he had finally confronted his stalker and well the meeting wasn't what he expected.

Flashback 6 days ago

Naruto had just finished his secret training and was heading to his favourite ramen stall when he felt his stalker following him. He was about to confront the stalker when D Naruto (henged and power sealed to civilian level) and Shiro appeared before him.

"Hey little bro how is it hanging" said D Naruto as he looked around like he was afraid that someone might pop up. They had just escaped from the girls after all.

"Hey bro hey, Shiro, what are you guys doing here in public?" asked Naruto in a panicked tone.

Shiro answered "We are going to that ramen stall that you like so much and buy lots of it." "And why would you buy so much ramen" asked Naruto with a curious look as they entered the stall.

"Simple its men's night out and we need lots of ramen and drinks" said D Naruto with a grin as they took their seats in a rather empty establishment.

"Men's night out huh how come I wasn't told about it and who else is coming." Shiro just gave Naruto a deadpan look

"You weren't told of it coz you are a boy not a man and we don't want Kaguya-sama and Kurama-sama to kill us for bringing you along."

"Come on I am a man" declared Naruto

"NO" both replied with Shiro adding "you are a shrimp dude not even a boy". At this Naruto sulked until Ayame entered the establishment and greeted them paying special attention to Naruto asking when he came back and what happened after he was kidnapped. Naruto explained what happened editing out some parts that would put her life in danger. After the story Ayame was very happy that Naruto had found family that was taking care of him so she took his order and went back to prepare it. After she left

"So Shiro who else is coming?" asked Naruto. "All the other guys from our summoning clans" Shiro answered nonchalantly. "So anyone noticed we have a guest right?" D Naruto stated motioning outside.

"Don't worry its being handled" stated Naruto and as soon as he finished a clone of Naruto entered with Hinata in tow. Shiro and D Naruto decided to just watch the proceedings while Naruto and Hinata talked.

Hinata on her part was nervous as she was in the presence of her crush and that she got catch spying on him. She was afraid that he would get mad at her. Naruto looked at her as he tried to read her signature. She was a gentle and kind soul that much he could tell and the other parts his 9 tails helped. The fox was a bit cooperative after his talk with his counterpart but he was still grumpy.

"So Hinata it seems you have been following me for a while know why is that?" Hinata began to fidget as she stuttered a reply (writing a stutter is a pain so just imagine hinata stuttering)

"I just wanted to see if you are okay and watch you train that's all" no use lying now since she was catch. She could also guess that he was a sensor and a good one at that if he could detect her from the distance she was at.

"Why were you watching me train? Are you a spy or something?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

"No I am not a spy I just watch you because I just admire you…" Hinata declared before clamped her mouth with her hands. Naruto for his part didn't believe her until the 9 tails told him she was telling the truth and that she was trustworthy since her chakra was so pure. Naruto just looked at her debating on what to do, just have a small talk before dismissing her but another part told him that having a friend was a good idea.

"Listen Hinata it's surprising that you admire me and all but I don't want you to watch me anymore."

At this Hinata just froze her shot at Naruto just went down the drain she began to shake as tear threatened to lick from her eyes. Shiro just face palmed (face pawed?) seriously this kid was dense. "I want you to join me."

Hinata was stunned her crush wanted her to join him to train just the two of them. She basically was red as a tomato thinking of some of the scenes that would happen during training. Naruto oblivious to her inner fantasies took her hand getting into her personal space and told her that he wanted them to be friends. The contact did it, Hinata's head started smoking before blowing of (proverbially not literally) and she passed out. Poor confused Naruto didn't know what to do and what happened while Shiro was laughing his guts out.

"Hahahaha dude the kid is so dense it's unbelievable. Wait if he is this dense that also means you were like that as well." Shiro looked at D Naruto who was also red with embarrassment with a twitching eyebrow.

"No I wasn't like that" he huffed. "I never had the chance to experience stuff like this. Kurama-chan basically taught me from scratch and I still didn't understand because of my circumstances. I will tell you about it later." D Naruto answered in a somber tone. Shiro understood and let the matter go.

"After everything I have taught him I forgot to teach him how to read girls' feelings. Well he is lucky he is going to be joining us on our outing. Maybe the other guys can help out" said D Naruto as he instructed Naruto to create a clone to carry Hinata home and leave a note for her. After that Ayame arrived with Naruto's order D Naruto ordered an insane amount of ramen in which he asked Naruto to make another clone to help her prepare and seal the ramen in storage scrolls. As Naruto ate his meal he asked a question he wanted to understand,

"Hey guys I heard big sis saying you guys went at it like rabbits. What does that mean and does Shiro do that's well since he is a rabbit." Let's just say that TALK needed to be done soon before this kid asks more embarrassing questions to the wrong crowd. On that day Naruto made a friend and the Ichirakus were set up for life as D Naruto overpaid for the ramen he bought and thank her for taking care of Naruto. After they left Ayame pondered upon the words before realising she had just met Naruto's brother.

End of Flashback

The second incident happened two days ago after their team meeting.

Flashback

Naruto was heading to the shrine when he sensed a group of 6 people following and judging by their actions and chakra capacity they were ANBU. The 9 tails informed him that he was feeling hostility from them so he had to be careful. Naruto just increased his speed until he was near the shrine walls. He whispered something and stopped before calling his stalkers out. The ANBU came out but they weren't your standard ANBU. They wore blank masks and that in itself set off red flags in Naruto's head as he knew the Hokage's ANBU wore animal masks.

"You guys are not from the Hokage so might I ask where you are from and why you were following me" Naruto asked as he prepared for a fight.

"We are from this village and our master has sent us to capture you" answered the one who seemed to be the leader.

"Okay so you want to capture me. It seems my stunt at the council pissed of some people. But can I kindly ask you to disobey that order if you want to leave. I am against killing but if you come at me you will die. Who is your master by the way?" Naruto looked at them to see if they would consider his offer but was disappointed when they refused.

"Our master told us to capture you at all costs and his identity will remain a secret" answered the lead ANBU.

"Okay let me rephrase this in a way that you can understand. First you are in enemy territory you don't know what your enemy is capable of and whether your terrain is booby trapped. Secondly you notice me whispering something as I neared the shrine wall right? Haven't you noticed that you can't use your chakra?" and indeed they couldn't use their chakra which stunned them. What Naruto basically did was tell the seal AI called Icarus (sort of like Ironman's AI) to activate the no chakra zone around the wall. What it does is that anyone not recognised by the AI will have his/her chakra sealed. The ANBU were shocked they had walked right into a trap but they steeled themselves.

"We are ROOT we complete our missions no matter the odds" they all answered as they draw their weapons. Naruto just sighed as they charged at him. Creating 12 clones he assigned two clones for each ROOT with bow staffs and releasing all of his training seals just as a precaution. The fight ended a minute later with the ROOT all tied up and 4 clone dispelled. His skills with the bow staff were good and added to the fact that he had taken off all his training seals his speed was jounin level. The ROOT had their chakra sealed off they couldn't boost their speed with chakra so they were outclassed in terms of both speed and strength. As he was about to ask questions the ROOT suddenly foamed from the mouth before they died. At this D Naruto appeared to congratulate him on his first real victory the Mizuki fight doesn't count. He told Naruto that he knew what happened that it wasn't his fault that they died and to also be prepared to kill in the future since some situations will call for it but only as a last resort. He told Naruto that this was Danzo's doing and that he was going to get an explosive surprise of his life and Naruto had to shiver at the grin and creepy cackles coming from his brother.

The bodies were delivered to the authorities who first accused Naruto of killing them but after examining the bodies they found these people committed suicide. They assured Naruto that they would find out who send them to which he just shrugged and went to his team meeting in person. Why? Because he wanted to see how his team would react. So as he arrived Kakashi showed concern asking what happened. After Naruto told them that the shrine security seal took care of everything they went to do their missions (chores) but a certain Uchiha was interested in that seal. They went to catch Tora. Fun fact is Tora hated everyone but amazingly liked Naruto. He always told Tora to make it hell for his teammates and he found it hilarious when his teammates ran around chasing after the cat who scratch them and when they become pissed of Tora would hide behind Naruto. Naruto had a gift because of the 9 tails which was gaining animal traits from enhanced hearing and sight to talking to animals. He discovered it when he met Hana chasing after a dog that didn't want to get its shots but that's a story or another time. He was good friends with her and her mother but hostile with the rest of the clan.

Anyway we find team 7 looking like they went through a war except or Naruto. Tora really did a number on them even Kakashi. It was funny seeing the jounin glaring at the cat like he wanted to strangle it then boil it then roast it before feeding it to his dogs. Naruto was laughing on the inside as he patted Tora who seemed to be enjoying it. As they entered the office Naruto discreetly told Tora to bolt after they hand her over. Naruto understood that the lady didn't know how to treat cats from what Tora told him. The lady in question just grabbed Tora and started to squeeze the life out of her. Naruto seeing his friend in peril intervined.

"Damn no wonder Tora runs away this is basically torture I know I would run when I am treated like that" Naruto said out aloud so that lady could her him. Kakashi chastened Naruto for this "Naruto that's the Daimyo's wife show some respect."

"It's okay young man. So you are saying that Tora runs away because of how I treat her" Naruto nodded before giving her lecture on how to treat cats. The two of them then entered into their own world as they talked about cats with Naruto getting help from Tora since he never took care of a cat before. After that the lady left with a happy Tora who thanked Naruto before they left. The whole room looked shocked; he just managed to solve the Tora problem and since when did Naruto become a cat expert. This cat had been a menace to everyone who took this particular mission and the cat seemed to be immortal as many tried to kill it but failed. Maybe it's that 9 lives myth.

They were about to be assigned another D-rank when Naruto complained that these missions were just plain stupid and that they were a waste of ninja talent. Iruka tried to reprimand him for speaking like that to the Hokage but the Hokage just shrugged it off. The other genin seemed to agree with this so the Hokage called out their mission to come in. Even before the client could come into the office Naruto could already smell him. His smell was so potent that Naruto could see a skull of dark miasma hovering around the man with glowing green eyes. Honestly the smell was choking him that he was considering turning of his sense enhancement.

"Damn that's one smelly old dude" Naruto commented while glaring at the old man. The said old man looked at them before giving them a look of disappointment.

"Is this what I have been given? A bunch of brats and a scare crow" the client complained while taking a gulp of his alcohol. "Look at them they look like they can't even hurt a fly. The girl looks like she would die while looking at that one that looks like he can brood his enemies to death." At this Naruto burst into laughter while Sakura and Sasuke were fuming.

"Hahahaha I like this old man he has style. Brood an enemy to death. Good one old man. The scare crow part its genius. Why didn't I think of that? Maybe we can dress him up in rags and put him in the field for the rest of his life. That ways he will have plenty of time to read his porn. Hummm a porn addicted scare crow not a bad name. I bet it would fetch a lot of money as a tourist attraction" Naruto finished while nodding to himself folding his hands with a finger under his chin.

"What's with the shrimp over there? Is he alright in the head? Look at him he is so little. Did you take him from kindergarten or something" the client further insulted his would be guards.

"Who are you calling little. Let me go Kakashi! Let me at him!" shouted Naruto while being held back by Kakashi. He was flailing around trying to wiggle his way out of Kakashi's grasp. His face was strangely cartoonish showing a set of shape teeth.

In another dimension,"Achuu. Looks like someone is getting the same treatment I get. Hope he kills the bastard. We are not little dammit" said Edward Elric before a crowd doubted that he is the Full Metal alchemist as he is little prompting him to attack only to be held back by his brother as he shouted "Who are you calling little!"

Back to our group, Kakashi assured Tazuna that his team was more than qualified for a simple escort mission and with him and an Uchiha on the team he wouldn't have to worry. He dismissed his students telling to pack up for them to meet at the Northern gate (I forgot which one) in two hours. His students left while the Hokage, Kakashi and Tazuna remained discussing some details of the mission. They dismissed after a few minutes of the discussions before the heard Tazuna scream outside. Kakashi rushed outside to find a wet Tazuna who was shivering, cubes on ice on the wet floor and a grinning Naruto holding an empty bucket.

"Do I wanna know what happened?" asked Kakashi to which Naruto just increased his grin before replying.

"He deserved it and seriously the guy reeks he needed a bath anyway." With that Naruto disappeared in a poof of smoke.

The real Naruto received his clone's memories as he entered D Naruto's house. The kid was excited this was his first C rank mission. This would be that first time he set foot outside his jail cell I mean the village. It's just a simple C rank what would possibly go wrong. Well that idea was shot down by D Naruto as he explained that they would run into Zabuza and his accomplices. He told Naruto to make sure that Zabuza and Haku survive as they were good guys just trying to earn a leaving. In addition he cautioned Naruto that his mission would be different from his as some parts of D Naruto's foresight was blocked meaning that something different from D Naruto's dimension would happen so he told Naruto be careful and he would look out for him in the shadows.

Naruto just nodded before packing up his staff in a scroll and received a scroll from D Naruto labelled The Wave Rescue Pack. He was told that he would know when to use the scroll. As Naruto left excited D Naruto just sighed feeling bad for the boy. There was going to be some drama in the council meeting and the boy was gonna miss it. Maybe he could take a video of the event. He was looking forward to his first ever prank as in his dimension he never developed that hobby.

The end

Thanks guys for your support I am really excited about continuing this story. You might find that this chapter is not up to standard. Well I am not feeling well at the moment and I hope I will be better soon. It seems I have contracted that virus I hope it's not it. If I survive next chapter will be D Naruto's first prank and Naruto shows of some torturing skills hehehe can't wait. Please continue to review and see you guys later I hope.