9
Candles had been lit for the séance. Sirius and Remus sat on the dorm floor with a round mirror between them.
"Ok let's hold hands," said Sirius, for it was customary to hold hands during spirit summoning séances.
They grabbed each other's hands.
"Now what do we do?" Sirius asked.
"Now we say, three times: Casilda, Casilda, Casilda."
They said three times, together: Casilda, Casilda, Casilda.
The candle lights began to flicker and rise. The mirror glowed red hot and blood seeped out of it. A ghost-white hand crawled out of the mirror, grabbed a chunk of carpet and pulled out an entire body.
Casilda had arrived. She was standing on the mirror, trapped in their circle. He head was down, like she was dead.
"Now what do we say?" Sirius whispered.
"I don't know, like... Hola? Como estas?"
"Dos cervezas, por favor."
"El chipotle pica mucho."
Casilda cracked a menacing grin.
"Hola, chicos! Yo soy Casilda!"
The chaps screamed a little.
"Quick, Moo! Your phrase book!"
In order to not break the circle, Remus had Shishi the Kappa turn the pages in the phrase book for him.
"Um... Ah! Mi perrito le duele la cabeza!"
"Is that how you say: My hovercraft is full of eels?"
"Who dares disturb my peace?"said Casilda, Spanish-accented.
"We didn't mean to disturb your peace," said Remus.
"We didn't you know had peace," said Sirius.
"I had the peace," said Casilda. "The brujos in my village granted it to me a while ago because la populación had diminished a lot."
"What does 'la populación' mean?"
"We're sorry about disturbing your peace," said Remus.
"Que quieres?" Casilda asked.
"Um so here's the thing," said Sirius. "Our compadre is having persistent hiccups. We've tried to scare the living mierda out of him, but no luck so far. So we thought, hola, you know what would really scare the living mierda out of him? A vengeful ghost that come la peniso."
"La what?"
"His peniso. You know, el serpiente morado. Monsieur baguette. Do you speak French?
She did not.
"Are you the ghost that devours penisos?"
"Yes that is me. I was the fantasma that devoured los penisos. Until the brujos gave me peace. I haven't devoured un peniso for a long time. Now that you have waken me..."
Casilda's creepy ghost eyes fell on Sirius. And all of a sudden, she didn't look like a gross ghost anymore. She was in fact super hot and it made sense for her to possess powers of seduction. She came down on the floor and began to stroke Sirius's face and hair.
"You, chico, are as we say, muy lindo," she whispered. "Tell me, bomboncito, have you ever peeped on naked chicas?"
She had a wickedness and hunger in her ghost-eyes that made Sirius nervous.
"No never!"
"Hmm."
That made her a little bored. She turned her attention to Remus.
"And what about your friend here?"
"Have I peeped on him naked?"
"Has he ever peeped on naked chicas?"
"Why don't you ask him that? I'm not going to lie for him."
Remus glared at him. Casilda began to run her fingers through his hair instead. She spoke softly.
"You are also rather cute. I bet those incredible amber eyes of yours have peeped on many chicas!"
"I've never peeped on anyone!"
"Ay ay ay mi lobito precioso!"
Magic creatures just knew these things.
"These things can happen by accident."
"I haven't peeped on anyone, not even as an accident!"
"Not even I believe that," said Sirius.
Casilda had her fingers on a chain that Remus was wearing. The chain with the Fiendish Fisheye. Sirius was also wearing his and Casilda saw that, too.
"So neither of you have peeped on naked chicas, then?"
Casilda pulled out the Fiendish Fisheye.
"What's this that you have on your necks?"
"Adam's apples," said Sirius.
"No, I mean around your necks. I mean this."
"No idea."
Casilda made it to Sirius and his chain before he could take it off.
"What's this?"
"Just an old bottlecap with a fisheye on it."
"What's it for?"
"It's not for peeping through walls if that's what you're hinting at! I mean, ok, it is. But I have never used it to peep on naked girls and that is the truth!"
It wasn't.
"Very well," said Casilda. "If you say you have never peeped on chicas sin ropas, then I am forced to believe you."
"Awesome!"
"So. Your compadre, then. Who you want to scared the living mierda out of. Has he ever peeped on naked chicas?"
"Oh yeah, loads of times."
Casilda burst into flames.
"HE HAS?!"
"Oh yeah! He has one of these, too! The girl's gym showers is on the other side of the wall from the gym so it's very easy for him to just pop it on the wall and get a peep."
"POP IT ON THE WALL?!"
"Yeah!"
"HAS THIS CHICO NO SHAME AT ALL?!"
"No."
Casilda burned up and all the candles went out.
"I think we destroyed her!" said Sirius.
"No she went through the key hole, I saw it," said Remus.
And sure enough, the key hole was black as soot and reeking.