Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. of Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I am in no way associated with Stephenie Meyer, any creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Some descriptions of characters that previously existed have been altered to fit the vision of this story. If you are interested in viewing the character reference photos, please view my Pinterest Board (/clairebear_04/like-breathing-but-harder/).

Author's Note: I apologize deeply for being gone for several weeks without any posting! I try to keep an equal work-life-writing balance but sometimes the other two need to take precedence. Thank you for your patience!

Chapter 17: Claire

"I'm so sorry, Harley," I groaned as I forced water down my throat. "I'm so sorry."

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for," she wrapped her arm around me and pulled me close. My brain still pounded in my skull, but the spins and lack of gravity had returned to normal.

"This was your night," I retorted.

"It still is, silly," she scoffed and munched on some chips that Ness had brought over.

"How did he find us?" I nodded over to Austin, who was helping Ness clean up in the kitchen.

"You know, I don't really know," she remarked. "He said something about his Dad being in the area and that he saw me when he came to the restaurant for a drink."

My eyebrows furrowed. "That was convenient," I noted.

"Well, it's a good thing he showed up when he did," she sighed. "Claire," she grabbed my attention as I gulped more water.

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

I had been asked this multiple times since they found me on that picnic table, loaded me up in the car, and when they plopped me down on this couch. This time, the way Harley asked was different— she wasn't checking on my headache or if I wanted more water.

I hesitated before answering. "I think so," my skin still crawled each time I felt his green eyes on me.

"Are you sure?" she persisted. "You sure he didn't do anything to you?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I don't remember every second but I know he just—" I stammered. I wasn't missing any clothes, didn't have any bruises, at least none that Ness could find. I hadn't entirely blacked out, but some of the smaller details were fuzzy.

Harley nodded, satisfied.

"How are you feeling?" Ness and Austin joined us as she sat down on the other side of me, sandwiching me between my best friends.

I swallowed hard as another round of aches pounded in my head. "All things considering I think I'll be alright," I smirked.

"Can't be as bad as Halloween two years ago," Austin interjected with a smirk.

I blushed as I chuckled too. "Oh no, please, no."

Harley was stifling her laughter.

"What did you do?" Ness inquired, looking around at all of us.

"Miss smarty pants here was so drunk she thought it was a good idea to climb the drainpipe of the house," he snickered. "Swore up and down that she could do it."

Harley snorted between gasping for air, "She— she threw her shoes off— and got on the drain like it was a pole—" she burst into laughter. Ness joined her, laughing heartily.

I'm sure my face was beet red as I, too, couldn't hold back my giggles.

"You made it, maybe, what? Five feet off the ground before you started screaming that it was too high?" Austin teased.

"It was!" I insisted. My headache was replaced with pain in my stomach as I gasped for air, laughing at myself.

"We— we had to spend the whole night pinning her to different furniture so that she wouldn't try to climb something else!" Harley gasped for air.

For a moment I was able to forget about what happened. Whether or not that was from the alcohol erasing my memory or not, I welcomed it. Nestled amongst my closest friends, everything felt as normal as it could be.

Come here, sweetheart.

I felt the cool air brushing my cheek as my tears streamed down my face. I was lucid, able to feel every detail but my body was a frozen prison as he lay me on the picnic table. I could smell the rotting wood underneath me, the table creaking slightly.

No, stop it, I cried. My arms threw forward to shove him away with little success.

You're ok, sweetheart, his voice echoed. He was a hulking, dark figure that was practically a shadow in the moonlight.

STOP IT! I screamed back at him, my body curling up off the damp wooden surface.

As I lifted off the table, I caught a glimpse of his face. The moonlight faded some of his details; his jawline and cheekbones were fuzzy in the light. But his eyes pierced my heart, swirling my insides as his bright, red eyes glared down at me.

I must have shot up out of bed as I awoke leaning over my knees, sweat dripping down my forehead. I was gasping for air, my skin crawling as the droplets slid down my hairline, reminding me how he would brush my cheek with his fingers.

I glanced around the room: Harley was snoring in the bed next to me, unphased by my abrupt awakening. All the lights in the cabin were turned off, the porch light outside serving as the only source of light as it poured through the glass door.

Lightly pushing the covers off me I slid out of bed, throwing a sweatshirt over my head from my bag. Quil's scent filled my nose as I pulled the hood over my head.

Tenderly with every step, I tiptoed downstairs, wary of Ness still sleeping on the couch. Austin was curled up in a pile of blankets and couch pillows on the floor.

Holding my breath, I pulled the heavy glass door back just enough for me to slip through before closing it again.

The moonlight scattered light throughout the trees, mixing with the porch light that coated the wood deck. I walked along the railing, my eyes dancing around the dark trees as the silence was only broken by the occasional wave smashing into the rocks below. The air was cool and still, smelling of wet bark and moss.

I sat down on the wooden bench against the house, curling into the sweatshirt.

I didn't have the energy or strength to be mad at anyone anymore. I was embarrassed, guilty, and terrified all at once. There wasn't room in my chest for anger anymore.

He'll be mad at himself for not being there, I told myself. He won't be mad at you.

But was that really what was bothering me?

I jumped, startled, as the glass door slid open, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Sorry," Austin held up a hand as he slid the door shut. "I didn't mean to scare you."

My spine hesitated to relax before slumping back against the wall as he sat down next to me.

"Are you doing ok?" he asked.

I couldn't help but smirk. "I dare either one of you to ask me if I'm ok one more time."

He chuckled at this too, "Ok, ok, I get it, sorry."

"And don't say 'sorry!'" I playfully shoved him with my shoulder. I didn't want any more pity from anyone.

"Ok, you got it," he nodded. "What are you doing out here?"

"Sleep has become my least favorite hobby," I explained. How many nights has it been now that I have jolted awake from nightmares? Was this normal? Who was I kidding, what part of any of it was normal?

"So, when were either one of you going to tell me that Harley is pregnant?" He said it so blatantly as if it wasn't a big deal.

I blinked for a moment. "I'm sorry," I blurted out.

"For what?"

"I ghosted you and Harley after graduation," I lamented.

"So?"

I looked at him, stunned. "So? So, I promised that I would keep up with you guys. We were all so close in school, we always knew what was going on with each other, and now—"

"Hey," he cut me off, placing his hand on my forearm to slow me down. "It's really ok, Claire."

"I don't feel ok about it," I muttered.

"I think it's great, for Harley, I mean," he redirected. "Sure, it's not what she planned, but I can see that she's happy."

A flutter of wings echoed in the branches above us.

"Do you miss it?" I asked without pulling my eyes away from the trees.

"Miss what?"

"Not caring, not being responsible for anything," I leaned forward, putting my weight on my knees. "Does it feel like as soon as we left college, everything just, changed?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Why is that? Why is it that like a snap of fingers suddenly everything is different?" I reflected.

He shook his head and mimicked my position. "As soon as I went back home, Dad seemed different."

I finally broke my stare with the woods and looked over to him. His eyes were low, gazing at the wooden planks on the deck. "All of a sudden it was my fault that I didn't have a job," he shifted in his seat.

"You know that's not true, right?" I interjected.

He shrugged. "I dunno."

"Austin," I rotated to look at him squarely. "You are an amazing writer."

He nodded silently, but I could tell he didn't believe my words.

"What was your dad doing here?"

He hesitated before replying. "His buddies wanted to go on a fishing trip here. I thought it would be good for me to get out of the house."

I nodded. It was a big coincidence that his father just happened to come to this particular island outside of Seattle. But with everything happening lately, I was willing to just accept it.

"Well turns out it was a good thing that you did," I muttered and leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Apparently I can't leave you alone for five minutes," he teased.

Apparently, no one could.

He didn't want to get too close. The woman who smelled like a half-vampire-half-human was still in the house and he didn't want to give his position away.

It had taken him all day to get from the west coast to here. He sent his apprentice ahead of him to keep an eye on things while he mislead the wolf pack.

Those damn mutts, his lip curled as he watched the humans sitting on the deck. All of this would be so much easier if he was out of the picture.

He squatted down on the tree branch as he observed them. Her scent was stronger as it blended with the disgusting wolf scent. He had debated a few times introducing himself to her when she was alone. But every time he saw an opportunity it was quickly ruined by that half-breed or another dog.

But he was patient. He had waited this long to return for her, he didn't mind waiting while he could watch over her.

The glass door shut again, drawing him from his thoughts. Their murmurs and laughs were gone and the night was completely silent yet again.

He caught a whiff of his partner below him, and he turned his attention away from the cabin. The younger man trudged along the base of the trees, careful not to slide down the hillside.

The vampire jumped from the tree above him, landing gracefully within feet of him.

"Shit! You gotta warn me when you do that," his partner exclaimed in surprise.

"Maybe you need to be more aware of the woods you walk into," the man sneered.

"Well, I would be better able to do that if you made me like you," he begrudgingly muttered.

"You're not ready yet," he replied. "For now, I need someone the wolves won't track."

"But they can't track you when—"

"No, but there's more of them," his jaw clenched. Before, it was only two mutts to worry about. Now there are up to eight at a time tramping through the woods. He couldn't risk it.

"What exactly is your plan of convincing her to come with us? What makes you think she will?" he asked.

The man's red eyes peered up at the cabin for a moment as he sighed. "She will. Whether she knows it or not."

"What about her boyfriend?"

His lip curled in the corner of his mouth. "The only way he will let her come with us is to kill him."

"That should be easy enough for you," the apprentice said.

"Not as much as I would like."

"She'll be mine, right?" he folded his arms over his chest. "When she comes with us?"

His red eyes flashed from the dark cabin and froze on his face. They narrowed slightly, as he locked his predatory gaze on him. "When she comes with us, she will be yours."

The partner grinned and nodded with relief.

As he turned to leave, the vampire snapped at him once more. "Hey—"

The boy turned back around, cautiously.

"Do not make me regret including you," he snarled, his blood-red eyes secured on the boy. "Do not get too close to her until I say so."

He nodded and turned around again, trudging through the mess of dark branches and brush.

There was much planning to do. They would have to be methodical; even if he turned the boy they would never be able to fend off that many mutts. His powers only provided a slight advantage, but with their added numbers it will be difficult to fool them. His little stunt this morning was enough to rouse them up, but he would need her lover to make a mistake, to do something foolish, leave her unprotected somehow so that he could finally meet with her. Once she understood everything, she would come with him. He had waited thirteen years for this and the anticipation burned in his throat like an unimaginable hunger, one that he was willing to kill anyone who got in his way for.