Two best friends who just so happen to be Satans decided to play an innocent game of Guess Who. What's the worst than could happen?

DISCLAIMER: DxD and its characters belong to Ichiei Ishibumi and its respective magazines.

The two strongest Satans and best friends, Ajuka Beelzebub and Sirzechs Lucifer, finally have a day-off. How they decided to spend such time? Of course, by playing a match of 'Guess Who' to calm the nerves. Nothing wrong with that, the two just wanted to blow some steam and have a good time like the old friends they are...

Table set, character tiles flipped up, cards picked, the two Super Devils start their match, with Ajuka on the lead...

"Hmmm..."

"..."

"Hmmmm..."

"Ajuka, this is the first question, just ask something simple and flip the tiles down. You're thinking too much." Sirzechs chuckled to the serious look on the face of his best friend. Like always, he would take things so seriously...

"As if. Even in a game like that, someone like me should set an example and do what they expect from me." Observed the second Satan, while his redhead best friend shrugged with a sigh, wordlessly saying 'Suit yourself'. A few seconds more in his own thoughts, and Ajuka then asked: "Very well then: does your character... Has a stupid name or an unoriginal name coming from another, more interesting source?"

"Yep." Sirzechs chirped, happy to know the game finally started as Ajuka flipped down the character tiles on his board. "My turn. Does your character butchers or completely twists the personality of others to better fit their narrative instead of being faithful to the source material, thus rendering its bashing null because they're instead rewriting them to basically gaslight the readers?"

"Yes. Yes, it does." Ajuka sighs, seeing now Sirzechs flips down his tiles in a greater number than him. He was indeed good. "Let's see... Does your character has any justification to genderbent someone other than 'another hole for it to screw'?"

"Sorry, but certainly not." Sirzechs sighs, and Ajuka curses under his breath seeing another tile of his down. "Okay... Does your character sums up, shortens or downright cuts potentially interesting moments like training arcs or flashbacks that would otherwise flesh out and develop it, and instead cuts right when it is strong and overpowered, clearly not interested in endearing it to the readers?"

"Yes." Was Ajuka's response, and another row of tiles down. "Curses, this is getting hard. Hm... Is your characters filled at nauseam with outdated pop culture references, cringe-indulcing puns, unnecessary internet shout-outs or just plain stolen quotes and plots from better, more successful sources in a desperate yet juvenile attempt to be 'hip' or 'funny' or anything other than what it thinks it's cool?"

"Yep, sounds like it." Ajuka mentally bumped his fist, as now from him another row of tiles, the most ever since the match started, were flipped down. Sirzechs chuckled seeing the glee in his friend's eyes, something quite missing for the longest ever since he became a satan. "Alright, now: does your character have villains with an IQ or power level or resources or anything that it would make slightly a threat and thus causing conflict, the pinnacle of an interesting and worthwhile read instead of a predictable and therefore boring shitshow, higher than a single digit?"

"Nope. It completely curbstomps everything in its path and makes no attempt at drama unless its convenient, like the death of a loved one to cheaply push it into villainy in an attempt to justify the upcoming atrocities." Sirzechs sweardropped as he flipped down his tiles. This is not how you were suppose to play the game, but eh, maybe this one time it wont hurt. They were equally matched now. "Okay, Zechs... Does your character have intercourse with many without a proper pacing or rhythm, like it's just a flimsy excuse to write lewds without a single iota of development or self-awareness?"

"Yes, yes, yes. There's even a section dedicated to read those smuts. Like anyone would want to read that." Sirzechs chuckled, trying his best to hide the small despair in having his best friend flip down a great number of tiles. "My turn: Does your character has anything original that isn't stolen or majorly based off from another brand? Like, it's not even a reference or a homage, its just downright robbed?"

"No, not at all. And it thinks it can justify it by simply writing 'minor crossover' around it. Truly pathetic." Laughed the Beelzebub satan, happy to see the fewer tiles down on his side of the table. Now it is sudden death time. "This is getting exciting: Zechs... Does your character have females from another series with a better excuse than it thinks it's cool and hot and want to bang them?"

"Nope. Just there to be screwed and be eye candy, exactly." Sirzechs nervously said. He was probably going to lose anyway, but even so, he asked his final question and hoped for Ajuka to guess it wrong. "My final question... Ajuka, does your character has the same plot structure, character bashing and elements like neglectful parents, revenge against authority figures, unhealthily amounts of shilling and power fantasy in a clear demonstration of unresolved family issues, problem with higher powers and whiny spoiled behavior bleeding into its writing, plus bad grammar that never improves?"

"Yes. That's a fat yes." Ajuka sighed, seeing now that both him and his best friend had the same amount of tiles up and down. Now it was a now or never situation. Taking a deep breath, Ajuka called it: "sirzechs... is your character... Slashfag2018?"

"..."

There was a pause.

"Aww~, you won, Ajuka. This sucks." Sirzechs playfully laughed at his defeat, picking from the front of his tablet the small card for his character, Slashfag2018. The Beelzebub satan said nothing, only laughed silently as a small euphoric burst of energy emerged from his heart. "I was this close of winning, too! Let me guess: your character is Hoenin2106!"

"Yep. Too bad you were a step too late, friend." Ajuka picked from his own set his card of Hoenin2106. He was internally relieved, he was the most intelligent satan after all. After that, the two friends laughed with each other for a little until it was time to flip the tiles back. A new game started. "Alright... I guess one or two more victories over you wont hurt."

"Heh, you wish, friend." Laughed Sirzechs, seeing the pile of cards ready to be chosen next to the tablets.

Makoto x Shitlia, Whorerriorman199456, brxkenArsehole, The Crimson Lame, Hoequeer Minami, Ass-urestoryteller, Imperial-samaBad... There were enough cards to leave them entertained for quite a while.