A/N: I literally cracked out this drabble cos Ash sent in this super funny text from online on discord and we all pretty much lost our shit ahahahah! You can blame her for this 3 (This fic is mainly talk about sex so it is still T rated but if you're not into that, skip it lol).

"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel"

The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

Pairing - Adrinette

Prompt - 'Doggy Style'

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"Hmm? How was the date?" The boy parrotted Nino's question, snapping out of his daydreams of the events prior before answering with enthusiasm. "Oh, it was great! Marinette and I ate the spaghetti, doggy style," Adrien sighed happily, innocently blind to the way his best friend's eyes bulged out of its sockets, the ladyblogger dropping her phone in a dull clutter with her jaw dropped and Marinette's pulse sent to overdrive despite her hand being encased by his, tucked in his hoodie's pocket.

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Not a single word was said for a few moments, the trio with Adrien trying to comprehend his answer with matching shocked expressions whilst the golden-haired boy himself hummed like a lovesick Disney princess. His bubble was popped as soon as the French-Chinese ripped her hand out of his grip with a squeak, a sign that she was beyond flustered about something. Agreste simply pouted at her.

"A-Adrien!? That's not what we did-" Marinette hissed out, flailing her hands and face as red as her counterpart's super-suit. Her boyfriend merely cocked his head in confusion, grasping her hands swiftly so that she didn't hit anything or lose balance. It was then that he noticed that her pulse seemed much faster than it usually was under his fingertips, slightly worrying him.

"But we did? It was probably the best experience I've ever had in my life-"

"Adrien-"

"It was so romantic and sweet and warm-"

"ADRIEN-"

"And the way you blushed so cutely afterwards-"

"ADRIEN!" Finally, the silly boy listened to the aspiring designer, her hands squishing his face so that she had his full attention, green eyes now owlishly blinking at her. "Listen to me. Slurping up spaghetti like the dogs from the Lady and the Tramp cartoon is not called doggy style. That is a COMPLETELY and RIDICULOUSLY different thing!"

The model only let out a sound of confusion, almost flinching like a cat when Alya and Nino burst into hysterical laughter whilst Marinette snatched her hands away from his face and buried her heated one in them with absolute embarrassment. Even her ears were tinged to a shade of blush and he wasn't deaf to the kettle-like squeal that escaped her lips.

Suddenly, dread began to build up from the pits of his stomach as he tried to understand the connotations of what he said. The bespectacled duo kept on cackling away, clutching their stomachs and his Princesse carried on hiding her face away from him, refusing to make eye contact. With a heavy gulp, he placed a tender hand on one of Marinette's forearm, pulling it away from her cheeks so that he could see her eyes and then asked.

"Then...what does..."

"What does doggy style mean...?"

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Once again, Césaire and Lahiffe roared hilarity, tears leaking out of their eyes and shrieks escaping their throats that Adrien was almost certain that he broke them. He eyed Marinette pleadingly, whining out her name a few times but she was stubborn in keeping her lips shut regardless of how powerful his kitten eyes were.

"Dude...heheheh..." Finally, Nino answered. "It's when you bend your girl over, keep her on her hands and knees and FUCK her like an animal!" Nino's laughter then increased in volume as his naive friend choked on his saliva and his complexion erupted into a damning shade of red.

Adrien spluttered out apologies to his poor, embarrassed girlfriend over and over again, his hands clapped into a begging motion and teeth gritted with humiliation.

"B-B-BUT! It sounded so innocent! I genuinely thought that the spaghetti eating scene was called doggy style! Why!? Dammit, you are all nasty!" Adrien huffed with finality, hiding his face in Marinette's shoulder as he held her from behind as if her tiny frame could keep him away from Alya's and Nino's cheeky gaze.

He wasn't paying attention to Mari chastising their friends, however.

The more he thought about it...the more appealing it seemed.

And instantly, the way he was holding her didn't seem so appropriate anymore with his mind gone straight to the gutter.

Adrien. Was. Fucked.

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~(x)~

A/N: Throwback to when I was still in secondary school, all the annoying lads would never stfu about the sex positions they couldn't wait to try once they got a girlfriend. Anyways, tell me what you think in the comments!