Verse 8: fall
"Can't you nag Weasletown one more time for me?"
"I can, but you'll just get the same answer. The new gym comes first, and the renovation starts in two weeks. You'll have to wait until next year for the new auditorium to be considered."
"Ugh."
Elsa gives a sympathetic look at the miffed posture of Megara Bitharis, the new head of their drama department. Megara has been busy revitalizing the department in the past couple of months, which lacked organization until her arrival. It's been a resounding success so far, which is exactly what Elsa expected from someone with a theatre background as rich and professional as Megara's. Elsa gets the sense that putting high schoolers into their places is nothing more than an entertaining warm-up for her.
Megara is popular for another reason: her alluring disposition combined with her elegant Romaic features. She's almost a decade older than Elsa, yet her chic style and coy sense of humor allow her to vibe with students with more familiarity, making her a student-favorite.
Yet, despite being the opposite of Elsa's stiffness, they both share a confronting nature towards cheeky comments thrown behind their backs (or sometimes, tossed in front of their faces), making Megara a comfortable acquaintance to chat with. Elsa would argue Megara handles those situations with more grace, while she's more likely to leave a ticking time bomb in place, with no way for the other party to avoid it.
Elsa doesn't mind if they become friends.
"Is the classroom hopping option no good?"
"Well," Megara crosses her legs as she sweeps her long auburn locks on her shoulder, "Jane dear has been helping me sort it out in her free time, but it's still such a hassle. The class is over by the time we get things settled."
Elsa rests her chin on her hand. "I can try to be more persistent next time. And if he says no, I'll figure out something else."
Megara's hopeful look turns into a pleased grin. "Oh Elsie, you're simply the best."
Elsa's brows furrow over the nickname, but it's joined with a smile.
"Oh, don't give me that look. You're way too uptight for your age, Your Majesty."
"I—"
"And you should call me Meg when it's just us. Every time I hear you say 'Miss Bitharis', I think I'm in trouble."
Elsa chuckles. Somehow, she feels shy.
Before she can make a retort, a familiar figure by the other side of her glass walls catches her eye. Megara notices and walks to the door to let them in.
"Miss Heidi! So good to see you!"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb your—"
"No, no, I'm done with my business. Never mind that—you, sweetheart, were fantastic last weekend!" Megara places her hand on her chest. "I feel lucky to be working with such young talents. You should have seen her performance, Miss Larsen, it was just stellar."
I did. I was in the front row.
"Thanks—"
"And you sure were an eyeful that evening. I bet boys—and girls—have been on your tail. I don't judge." Megara ends with a teasing tone.
Elsa shoots an amused look at Maren who's all smiles, looking flustered from Megara's flaunting praise.
She clears her throat.
"Right, I won't hold you ladies off any longer. Have a lovely evening." Megara chimes as she sashays outside, leaving them alone.
"Ma—Miss Heidi, is there anything you need?"
Maren sits down by Elsa's desk and throws her a confused look. "Um… it's just us, you know."
"Yes, I know," Elsa sighs, "I just don't want to make it a habit while we're at work." She leans back and gives Maren a proper look. It feels like yesterday when Maren introduced herself to Elsa on her first day.
They were strangers then.
"So, you need something?"
"Right. Uh, I need to ask for a leave of absence. Around two weeks?"
"…let me check." Elsa turns to her computer, trying to register what Maren said. "It should be fine, we have a substitute queued up." She contemplates for a few moments before asking, "Where are you going?"
"Oh, just this big dance seminar in Los Santos. We're going to be a small group from different companies, and we'll do a lot of workshops with choreographers over there."
Los Santos, the city of dreams. Located on the other side of the country. "That's… quite far."
"Don't worry, Punz figured a way to cover all costs and food. Oh, and I've already packed up to meet everyone at a hotel, so I won't be coming home tonight. Flight's tomorrow."
"Oh, okay." Elsa faces her computer again and busies herself writing emails, unsure of what to say next.
"Elsa?"
"Hm—" A hug from behind surprises her. How did Elsa not hear her? "M-Maren!" She glances sideways. "Someone might see—"
"It's three in the afternoon, everyone's clocked in class. Anyways, this is more important." Maren tightens her hug, playfully swaying Elsa. "Don't miss me too hard, okay? I'll text you when I'm there."
Two weeks can feel like a long time. The first two weeks she spent with Maren painted over her old normal like a splash of iridescence on a blank canvas. As if it was meant to be that way for a lifetime.
So Elsa caves, relaxing into Maren's warm embrace and soaking up her comforting citrusy scent.
"…take care."
"Achoo!"
"Caught a cold? You should make some ginger tea. Hot baths are great, too."
Well, I'm only sick because I fell asleep in one. "T-thanks, I'll be fine." Spending last night in the bath sulking over a stressful workday may not have been the best idea. But it wasn't like she could have texted Maren, who was thousands of feet above and hundreds of miles away from Arendale. She would have to wait for a text from her later tonight.
Elsa looks down at her packed lunch. It's an assorted set of stir-fried vegetables with chicken on Basmati rice. She opens her small container of sweet Thai sauce and empties it over her meal. It's Maren's favorite; she prefers her sauce with chili and keeps a hawk's eye on Elsa on the days they have it to make sure it makes it into her lunch pack.
"I think you should rest. Do you want to come over after work?"
"Oh, don't worry. I don't want to disturb—"
"It's okay, Anna moved out the other day." Hans wipes the breadcrumbs from the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "She's been planning it since I told her about us. I kept telling her to stay since I don't find it to be an issue at all, but that girl is stubborn." He scooches over and wraps his arm around Elsa's shoulder.
Elsa leans into Hans' sturdy hold and feels safe. She used to long for it as she observed him from afar all those years ago, enough to make her heart twinge. Now, his scent is always nearby to promise that security, and she treasures it.
But in his arms, it feels like she's standing on glass. She's wary of it breaking with the slightest misstep, dragging him with her into the pits of her insecurities. She can't let Hans in, let alone close enough to see through the glass below them and glimpse her ugly cracks.
"I'm sorry, I have to take care of some things at home."
"No problem, babe." Hans holds her closer, giving her a light kiss on the top of her head.
Punz: You know, u don't have to wait for her to text you. Just shoot her one
Elsa: I can't do that. I don't want to bother her…
Punz: Okaaayy
Elsa turns onto her other side on the sofa. She grabs a pillow to cover the side of her head, and another one to hug. The colors of the TV playing a cooking show dance around the dim room, its sounds barely edible.
She hears a ping from her phone.
Punz: You sure spoil that kid
Elsa: ...what do you mean?
Punz: Els, pls. How long have yall been living together?
Elsa: Around three months
Punz: right. You give her food, a room, etc. And in that short amount of time, yall have... clicked so well. You lose ur cool sometimes over her. Ur practically her mother hen
Punz: look, im really happy whenever i see you two.
Punz is typing…
Elsa's anxiety rises. Punz has always been perceptive; the voice of reason she looks for but sometimes avoids.
Punz makes it harder to keep Pandora's Box shut.
Punz: dont take this the wrong way but, you were kinda hard to approach, even after we've become friends. And you've changed since maren came along. You smile more, and you've become more talkative too. I can see what she means for u
Punz: but also, shes a grown woman. You dont need to overworry. She may not look it cos u take care of her but she can handle her own
Elsa sighs as she stares at their conversation. What more can she say?
Elsa: You're right.
She gets up to turn in for the night, but another ping catches her attention.
Punz: but also just text her if u really want you dummy
Flopping onto the bed with her phone in hand, Elsa shuffles a list of greetings in her head to text Maren. In reality, she's concerned (again) about disturbing her. Suddenly being apart caught Elsa off guard.
Another ping breaks her train of thought. She doesn't expect to see Maren's name instead of Punz, and it gives her enough heart palpitations to sit up and collect herself. She smiles when she sees her message, bringing warmth to her cheeks.
Maren: u miss me dont u lol
Elsa: 😒
Maren: 😛 why are u still up?
I was waiting for you.
Maren: I know why. You were waiting for me 😌
Elsa: ...I don't like it
Maren: huh?
Elsa: I don't like how you can always read my mind
Maren is typing…
Elsa stares at the ellipses. They disappear only to return, faltering for a couple more seconds.
Maren: 😎
Elsa frowns.
Maren: I gtg soon, we're grabbing dinner
Maren: Go to sleep. Ur gonna catch a cold again
Maren: Whats our time diff?
Elsa: I'm 3 hours ahead.
Maren: Ok~
Maren: dw ill text and send lots of pics until im back 😄
Elsa: dw?
Maren: …dont worry 😂
Elsa wraps the duvet around her. She huddles closer, faintly catching the scent of tangerine. Another of Maren's favorites.
Elsa: I'll ttyl then
Elsa: Goodnight!
Maren: Night 💕
For once, Elsa took the subway to work.
Despite growing up in a buzzing metropolis, Elsa doesn't do well in crowds. She knows her way around the subway from her high school and college years, but it never solved her claustrophobia. She's lucky that Corona High is located outside the city center; it's a forty-minute drive in traffic, and the subway track isn't any faster either.
Ahtohallan Studio is a different story. Since it's near the heart of the city, taking the subway would save thirty minutes of her time. It's surrounded by a myriad of world-famous studios and theaters, lined up on streets leading to Aren Square. The crowds stretch as far as the eye can see, the bustling noise trapped by skyscrapers.
She hasn't notified Punz about her visit. It was more of an impulse that came to her in the morning after she read Maren's text about her schedule being intensive. It occurred to her that she knew very little about Maren's training.
So the only thing on Elsa's mind after clocking out was taking the A-line instead of Q, which skips through the stop by her home.
Since she missed the open house the other month, it's her first time seeing Ahtohallan. The studio is in a fifty-story building, sitting on the tenth and eleventh floors. Stepping out the elevator, Elsa recognizes the lush maroon walls from pictures she's seen on Punz's phone. Familiar hip-hop music reverberates in the open rooms as she walks further inside.
It's around six, and there are many people roaming around. Some have already noticed her. They almost tempt Elsa to leave, but her curiosity wins.
Yeah. Only curiosity.
"Are you looking for someone?"
Elsa whips around. "I-I'm looking for Rapunzel. I'm her cousin."
The voice belonged to a shirtless buff guy in sweats, with scruffy blond hair a darker shade than hers. He looks around her age.
"I don't think she's here right now." The blond scratches the back of his head. "Hey, Ryder! Have you seen Punz around?"
"Nope. Who's looking for— oh." Another guy inside a practice room looks at Elsa with recognition, surprising her.
A young girl joins him. "Oh! I know you, you were at the last performance! Oh, sorry, my name's Vaiana. I was in the same group as Maren. You're her boss at her other work, right?"
"Yes, my name's Elsa. Nice to meet you." Elsa gives a polite smile as she takes Vaiana's hand.
"Kristoff and Ryder weren't there that night, but we actually perform with Maren quite a lot. Isn't it so cool she's been chosen?"
"Sorry?" Get a grip, Elsa.
"You're talking to Maren's biggest fan—ow!" Ryder winces at Vaiana's elbowing. "Did I lie?"
"Well, no, but I just feel super proud and honored, okay?" A giddy tone escapes from Vaiana. "We get to perform with a prodigy, and she's finally getting recognized for it!"
Kristoff places an arm on Vaiana's shoulder. "True enough, Punz has been busy helping her out with collabs. Not enough people know her history of winning international awards. People just moved on in a blink."
"That's because the mainstream doesn't give Uldrans enough chance to stay in the spotlight." Ryder jumps in. "If only her family had allowed her to get the credentials. I mean, she would've qualified to get into any prestigious school. She probably feels pressured over there."
Their chatter continues, but all Elsa hears is the echo of their words, describing a stranger she thought she knew.
Elsa takes a bite of her chocolate slice. The dizziness of the past few hours dissipates as the sweet and sour of raspberries melt on her tongue, if only for a moment. The rain pours over the window near the bar table she's sitting at, blurring the streets until they match her thoughts.
Her gaze continues to track the droplets sliding down the window when she gets the niggling sense of someone's eyes on her. Turning on her left, she doesn't expect to see a girl, standing beside her. Her strawberry blonde hair is wrapped in a bun, raindrops sprinkled on her fringe, and on the burgundy scarf hiding her freckled face.
Elsa meets her teal eyes. Anna.
Anna says nothing, so Elsa breaks the ice. "Anna? Hi."
A blink. "H-hi me?" Anna's eyes grow wide. "Yes—hi—uh," she reaches out a hand, which Elsa bemusedly takes, "I heard you visited the studio—but I wasn't there and, well, considering we haven't met, which is weird because you've been dating my brother for months—anyway, I figured I'd stalk—I mean, catch you here and say. Hi." She lets go of Elsa's hand, her cheeks flushed.
Elsa returns a smile. She knows. The avoidance was obvious, and she's not sure why. Maybe the distance was overwhelming. Anna was only twelve the last time Elsa saw her in person, and it was only a casual greeting.
"Do you want anything?"
"Oh, you don't need to—"
"It's my treat," Elsa calls for a waiter, and Anna orders the same cake as hers. As they settle into their seats, Elsa looks at Anna once more, drawn in. Her features clash with the image of a pigtailed tomboy from Elsa's memory.
"You've grown."
"Oh, um, yeah," Anna tucks her hair. "You haven't changed at all—I mean, in a good way."
"Thank you."
Before silence descends again, Anna starts this time. "Punz is still stuck in a meeting, in case you were wondering. She's been talking to producers all day."
"I heard. The plans with… Maren's trip took some time."
"...yeah."
Elsa feels a shift in the air. What changed? She thinks of another topic. "I don't think I've seen you perform. I've only been to two shows, but I'd love to go to yours."
"It's Punz's idea." Anna plays with the swirls of her cafe latte. "It's better to spread us out in smaller shows like that. Maren and I are her chosen best, after all."
"That's impressive."
"Thanks. Maren is the better one." Anna takes a bite of cake. "And thanks to you, she's been looking better lately too."
Elsa swallows her last sip a little too quickly. She faces Anna. "I'm sorry, what—"
"It feels like she only cares about herself now," Anna mutters, focused on the raspberry bits she's fiddling with her fork. "I know we're finished—"
'Finished'? Hang on, does that mean—
"—but she didn't even tell me about the trip. Or, well, she did, but she was already at the airport."
More people enter the cafe as the night grows darker, the interior lights dimming into a soft yellow. Beneath it, Anna's hair glows fiery, as if she's luminance itself. Elsa can see her perturbed expression, but beyond it, she can sense something more: a spark of passion that can get her to heights as great as Maren's.
Anna looks so young.
"It's not that she only cares about herself." Elsa stirs her half-filled cup of black coffee. "Rather, I think that Maren only has space for herself." She smiles at Anna and sees she now has her full attention. "When you get older and become more confident in yourself, you'll be able to think of someone else's well-being before your own."
Anna flushes and looks down, fidgeting, before looking up at Elsa again. "About what I said, I'm sorry—"
"It's okay. Maren's my friend. I'm just helping her out, that's all."
Elsa's chat window with Maren is flooded with pictures, punctuated with excited rants. Some feature palm trees outlined by the sunset, some show Maren making silly poses by famous street landmarks, and some taken at Bay Beach, where Maren took selfies with other girls nearby.
She's glad Maren has the time to unwind in the middle of her schedule, but something about the last set of images is bugging her. Nonetheless, she chucks the irritation away, refusing to brood over it.
Elsa: I visited your studio yesterday. Met Ryder, Vaiana and… this blonde guy.
Maren: That's awesome! You mean Kristoff?
Elsa: Yeah, that was his name.
Elsa: I also saw Anna for the first time in years.
Maren: Oh?
Elsa: Yeah.
Elsa bites her lip.
Elsa: I didn't know you dated her.
Maren is typing…
Ignoring the fluttering of her heart, Elsa settles for another position on the armchair as she pulls the blanket around her.
Maren: 🙀
Maren: yeah for a year
Pang.
Maren: did she say anything else?
Elsa: She knows you're living with me
Elsa: I'm assuming you've told others too.
Elsa: I'm not mad. But it's still better to be careful.
Maren is typing…
Elsa hopes she's not coming off bitchy. Is she?
Maren: I know :)
Maren: And don't worry, I've only told Ryder. He's a good person, he's like a brother to me
Maren is typing…
Elsa lets out a small sigh, but something else is nagging her.
Maren: And about Anna
Maren: I know her
Maren: She's not the type of person who would start rumors
Maren: I don't think she'd even tell Hans, far from it
Maren: So don't worry ok?
It should have relieved Elsa's concerns. The truth is she was not that worried; she's become lenient about people finding out about their situation, as long as it wasn't anyone who would use it against them. Besides, it's hard for Elsa to see Anna doing something that absurd after their brief encounter.
There is something else she wants to ask, but she's afraid it will lead to a new question, and then another—until she realizes she can't solve the puzzle that is Maren. Because the more she looks for the pieces, the further Maren drifts, and it's like having a sad dream, where you keep walking and never reach your destination.
It stings every time she finds a piece and picks it up; if she puts them all into place, would she have it in her to look away from the emerging picture?
For now, it's enough for Elsa to peruse the few pieces she has found—no, it should be enough. If she finds more on her way, then so be it. She will keep them close to her heart just the same.
Elsa: Okay. 😊
Exam periods are stressful for the teachers, too. They swamp Elsa with a workload that spills over to her weeknights, which is common around semester finals. It doesn't help that she's taken over some assessments for the junior year while also preparing for the next semester's syllabus.
Never mind that she has been sleep-deprived for the past week.
She doesn't mind the extra work. Maren's messages have been sparse. Her replies were sometimes too late, which Elsa expected. Maren sent her a snapshot of her routine, which runs until eleven in the evening. She explained the workshops to feed Elsa's interest; they all looked intensive, so Elsa took Ryder's words to heart and hoped that learning more about Maren's craft would ease or distract her from the pressure.
Back to work. The sleepless nights are backfiring on her. Elsa has a stiff neck on top of the irritation and pent-up stress, and she almost lost her temper at Miss White, which hasn't happened in a while. She trudges through her day, tired eyes boring into paperwork, frequently straying to her computer's clock.
Five hours until Maren comes home.
Before Elsa knows it, it's time to clock out. She's on her feet, slipping into her coat as she hastily packs up. It's Friday night so the traffic is horrendous, but she tries to relax by going through her mental cookbook. Would Maren be fine with some steamed fish or stewed beef? Or would she prefer a bowl of simple omelet rice and meatballs? Should they put on a movie while they eat the mango ice cream she promised to preserve until Maren returns?
Or maybe Maren is too tired to do anything, and she will cling to Elsa like always. Maybe she'll snake her way into Elsa's lap and whine about her day, her silky brown locks begging to be unraveled by Elsa's fingers as they both stay in serenity.
Elsa's fine with that, too.
She arrives home, numb from the fatigue of her day as she scurries about tidying the apartment. She prepares soup and chicken, which should be a perfect warmer for tonight's cold and rainy weather.
As the soup simmers down, her phone vibrates in her pocket. Elsa takes it in a beat.
Maren: My arrival is delayed 😭
Her heart sinks in disappointment.
Maren: by maybe 3 or 4h
Maren: stopover issues
Maren: im using wifi btw
Maren: might die again cos it kinda sucks
Maren: but you know who else might die
Maren: me
Maren: cos I miss you
Maren: and I wanna see you now
Dummy.
Maren: but donut fret
Elsa: do not*
Maren: donut ruin it! 😾
Maren: I'll be home soon 💙
Elsa can only think of one reply.
Elsa: I'll wait for you.
And she will because it's her turn. The nights Maren stayed up when Elsa was out late, whether it was on a date with Hans, or when her defenses were down from the pull of alcohol—Maren always greeted her at the door or caught her when she stumbled. She always enveloped her in a warmth that allows her to breathe again.
It's the least she can do.
Later that night, Elsa wakes up in pitch blackness. The last thing she remembers was climbing up the loft to replace Maren's blankets, which she now finds herself wrapped in. In front of her, she sees the soft outline of a figure.
Maren? A dream?
Elsa doesn't want to find out not when she has barely slept in the past week. She pulls Maren into her blanket, almost as if she is there with her; and her heart swells, filling up her entire chest as she holds her closer.
Besides, if this is a dream, why wake up now?