Chapter 17 - Farewell
Of course, the council had suspected something. All of the members knew that she and Obi-Wan had a rather long history. Over a year on the run together wasn't forgotten easily. But somehow Anakin had managed to convince them to let her see him. He later told Satine that he apparently had backup from Master Koon, a good friend of the three jedi.
As Anakin led her through the halls of the jedi temple, she felt the uneasiness grow inside of her. It didn't help that the jedi who crossed their path always seemed to stare. Or maybe it was just her imagination and she was becoming paranoid due to her nervousness. Her companion caught on at some time and slightly nudged her in the shoulder.
"You okay, Satine?", he asked. She startled a little, but caught herself fast.
"Hm? Oh, yes… It's just that I haven't been to the temple before and I somehow feel like an intruder here. Everyone keeps staring at me", the duchess admitted.
Anakin gave a wry smile in response. "You're not alone with that, you know? Ever since I came to the temple, they treated me different. Said I was the Chosen One. Bantha poodoo if you ask me."
"Chosen One?", Satine asked curiously.
"Obi-Wan never told you? I'm surprised. It's some kind of prophecy telling that the Chosen One will bring balance to the Force", he hummed while striding forward, "either way I don't believe it. Sadly, many other jedi do."
"Does your master believe it?"
The jedi chuckled. "Funny thing, but we actually managed to never talk about that topic. And I think I speak for both of us if I say that we don't intend to change that. With the war going on we've got enough on our plates."
"You two earned yourself quite the reputation through the media. It's almost impossible to not know your faces", Satine mumbled, remembering all the holo reports concerning the war effort, "the Hero With No Fear and the Negotiator."
Anakin merely shrugged. "Still better what they called us or more precisely Obi-Wan, before."
The blonde furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
"After Obi-Wan defeated the Sith on Naboo, many jedi started to call him… Sith killer", he paused for a second and his face twisted into a frown, "he never admitted it openly but I knew that it hurt him because it reminded him Master Qui-Gon. They still use the recordings from the reactor room for training purposes. So more often than not you hear one of the younglings mutter the name when we pass by."
"That's terrible. No wonder he still can't forget this day."
During their conversation they'd finally reached the entrance to the halls of healing. As they entered, Satine noticed that it didn't look much different from a normal hospital. A young padawan was sitting at the reception, busy with filling out some patient files. The boy's head snapped up as he noticed Anakin's and Satine's approach.
"Knight Skywalker, what can I do for you?", the child asked politely, immediately recognizing the jedi.
"Duchess Kryze is here to visit Master Kenobi", Anakin said and as he sensed the padawan's confusion, added, "we have the council's permission."
Before the boy could speak up again, a Twi'lek healer stepped around the corner, coming to a halt in front of them.
"Skywalker, here again", the woman said exasperated, her eyes locking then on Satine, "but not alone I see."
Satine took that as a chance and offered her hand to introduce herself. "I'm Satine Kryze, duchess of Mandalore. I hoped to visit Master Kenobi."
The healer smiled and shook the outstretched hand. "I'm Vokara Che, the temple's master healer. It's a pleasure to meet you, duchess. Master Yoda informed me that you were coming. It's not very often that someone from outside the temple visits the halls, but I guess we're making an exception here. Come with me, I'll take you to him."
Satine nodded shortly in acknowledgment and started following her. As she passed Anakin, she mouthed a silent 'thank you' which the knight returned with a smile before retreating himself.
Obi-Wan's room was in the back of the halls in the intensive care unit. While they approached, Master Che addressed her again. "May I ask you a question, duchess?"
Despite being a little irritated on the request, Satine obliged. "Of course, Master Che."
"What's your relationship with Master Kenobi?" As soon as the words left the healer's mouth, the duchess grinded to a sudden halt.
"I'm sorry, but what did you say?", she asked, thinking that she might have misheard the question.
The jedi master chuckled lightly. "You heard correct. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me. It's good to know that he has people that care about him. Obi-Wan has been through so much in his life, he deserves to have someone in his life." As the woman had finished, she was already standing at the door to the patient's room. Satine was still too flabbergasted to notice. Jedi frowned upon attachment. She knew that, but yet Master Che didn't try to reproach it to them.
"I guess Knight Skywalker already told you the details?", the Twi'lek asked as Satine caught up to her.
"Yes… but just briefly", Satine affirmed, her heart beating faster every second. So far, she didn't want to imagine what to expect. Anakin had told her that it was pretty bad, but reality would hit home different.
"Well then. I give the two of you some time", Master Che pushed the door open, "we don't know exactly if he is able to hear us but it certainly won't hurt to talk to him a little. I'll be back in an hour to check on him and redress some of his wounds."
"Thank you, Master Che." The duchess then stepped by the healer and entered the room.
Despite it only being a few weeks since she had seen Obi-Wan laying this deathly still, this one was different. On Mandalore, he at least had been breathing on his own. Now a machine was doing it for him and somehow that sent a shiver down her spine. 'They don't know if he'll wake up', then rung in her head.
Satine strode over to the bed and gently caressed his cheek. They had shaved his head together with the beard. As a memory washed over her, she smiled sadly. After Obi-Wan had grown the beard, Satine had complained about it, grumbling that it hid too much of his handsome face. The jedi had given a hearty laugh then and had told her that she had to get used to it because he had absolutely no intention to get rid of it again.
Seeing him without it now felt so wrong, knowing that it wasn't his decision. She carefully pulled her hand back, mindful not to touch the metal device around his head. Anakin had told her that Obi-Wan's skull had been broken in a few places. The small metal rods disappeared somewhere beneath the white gauze which looped around his head.
She took his hand instead. It felt heavy in hers as she lifted it up from the bed.
"Stars, Obi…you never come to rest, do you?", Satine breathed. It was ironic that the only time he would get some actual rest was when he was laid up in a hospital. Like as soon as he stepped outside, he would be taken away again. She knew that he must be on the verge of breaking down, no body could uphold to that much strain in such a short period of time. It always pained her to see him walking with a poorly hidden grimace on his face knowing that every step must be agonizing for him. But even as his body was starting to fail him, he still had his sharp mind, until now. The Sith might have taken that away as well. Nobody knew if there would be lasting damage.
Still holding on to the hand, Satine pulled one of the chairs over to her and sat down. Her gaze lingered shortly on the small rising of his chest as the machine pushed the air inside, but then moved on to the large window, observing the ships which flew by. Intertwining their fingers, Satine began to talk.
"Master Che said, that it's not unlikely that you can hear us. So, I guess I just start talking", she tightened her grip on his hand slightly and bit her lip in thought. It had never been that hard to talk. "Stars, I don't know where to start, Obi… We won the debate. Mandalore is secured for now. It's not going to be easy to maintain neutrality. Death Watch and the Separatists are still after us." Satine sighed. "I'm afraid, you know? I don't know how I'm going to do this on my own. Of course, I have Padme and the others helping me out. But it's not the same. I need you, Obi-Wan."
She turned her head to study his face again. Despite his unconsciousness, she could see the lines on his face, evidence of the years of stress and worry. "Remember the day you and Master Jinn left Mandalore after your mission was finished? I wanted to ask you to stay. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. It would have been selfish, to make you cast away the only family you've ever known. When I see you now, I sometimes ask myself if that had been a mistake", Satine's voice turned into a whisper, "maybe you would have found some peace."
"You would have never met Anakin and Ahsoka though. Most likely Anakin wouldn't have been trained if it weren't for you. These are the reasons why I don't completely regret my decision."
As she glanced at the chrono on the wall, Satine realized that almost an hour had passed. Master Che would stop by any minute. It was time for her to say her good byes.
"I have to go now, Obi-Wan. They expect me depart for Mandalore in the evening. I hope I'll get the chance to visit you again. Hopefully you're awake by then." She stored the other outcome inside the back of her mind. Satine wouldn't give up on hoping for the best.
With a heavy heart she stood up from the chair. Gingerly, she placed a kiss on the side of his cheek where no tube was taped.
Satine retraced and pressed his hand for a last time. "Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, Obi-Wan."
She then stepped back from the bed and made her way over to the door. Just as she stepped outside, Master Che came walking down the hallway, medical supplies already in her hands.
The woman was smiling warmly as she approached her. "I see you're leaving, duchess?"
"Yes, I'm afraid that I have to leave for Mandalore today", Satine said with a pressed smile.
The Twi'lek nodded understandingly. "We're doing the best we can. I'll let you know if anything changes."
"Thank you, Master Che. I appreciate that." She bowed her head slightly in a gesture of respect and quietly left the halls of healings. Everything inside of her screamed for her to stay but Satine knew that she had a responsibility to uphold. She wouldn't let her people down.
As she made her way back to Padme's apartment to pack her things and get ready for the flight, she asked herself if she made the right decision this time. The fallout was something she didn't want to think about right now. Still the decision didn't bore easy on her mind.