Trigger warning – talk of suicide and self-harm

Amelia's POV

I don't know how long it's been, but I can hear them talking but I can't understand what they are saying. I've just given up and eventually they'll give up and leave. I felt someone sit next to me, I'm not sure who but I'm guessing it's their turn to try and get me to talk. I hadn't heard much of the conversation until Kate said something about admitting me.

Kate's POV

"I don't know what to do guys, I want to help her from home but if she doesn't start talking to us, I uh – we need to – to um admit her."

"we are going to do everything we can, admitting her is a very last resort. Kate, she's going to get through this."

"I know she get through this, but she wants to die Hotch, she fucking cut herself Infront of us all. I know has gone through this before and she ended using drugs and attempting to kill herself!"

"Kate, last time she went through this alone, her parents sent her to the psych ward and abandoned her. She was in there for 4 years, she had no one. Amelia never worked through her trauma and what happened on that case triggered a lot of memories for her. Kate, she has us now, she has you, we are her family, and we are all going to be here for her and for you."

I knew Hotch was right. She needed us now more than ever and I'm not planning on leaving her. None of us knew what we could do to get her to talk so we just sat and decided when everyone was going to stay.

Amelia's POV

I knew I needed to say something, but what I could say after everything I just did.

"I can't fix this" my voice was almost a whisper, but they all heard

"Amelia what did you say" it was Emily, I could hear the pain in her voice

"I can't fix this. I can't fix me. I hurt you all and I can't fix it" I started crying

"Amelia, when I interviewed you for the job, you told me about your past, and I knew that you deserved the job because survived it all and still get up every day." Now its Hotch's turn to talk. I just need them to understand I've given up. I'm done.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't fix this, it can't – I can't fix it."

"Baby, you can do th-"

"NO! what don't you guys understand. IM DONE ALRIGHT. I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING." I just started crying, the tears were falling hard

"Pleas Ame-"

"just stop. Let me finish. I'm so tired. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and hating everything I see. I'm tired of pretending. I've just given up. I'm exhausted okay. I can't go through this again, I can't survive it again. I can't raise a baby; I can't do anything anymore." I'm crying so much now I can hardly breath. I know they are talking but I can't focus on what they are saying. All I know is I can feel Emily holding me, whispering to me.