October 31, 2019

11:11 p.m.

"Don't you think you've done enough for one night?!" snapped Gadd.

No. Not at all.

"Well—what more do you want?" asked Nathan.

My brethren and I want to make all of you pay.

"For what? Refusing to believe your twisted logic?!" balked Nathan.

For enjoying the sight of me getting SHWEEERRPP-SHLOOOOP-WHOOORPP-SHLEEEOOORG'ed into that f—ing housecleaning device. 3:D

"Okay, we get it! Luigi sucked you into the Poltergust! So, now you want to hunt down everyone who mains him in a tournament that you don't know jack [bleep] about!" hollered Nathan. "You're a f—ing idiot!"

The only idiot here is you if you think this has a happy ending.

"Enough of this!" cried Nathan. "Just leave us alone!"

Or what? You'll sic the Easton Kingdom's armies on us?

"Don't tempt me," said Nathan.

I'm getting really tired of people giving me orders.

"Oh, yeah?" Nathan shot back. "Well, I'm getting really tired of you harassing me and my friends because we hang around with a man whose sole crime was to defend his brother!"

The very brother who repeatedly trespassed on my dominion?

"You allied with a routine princess-snatcher!" charged Luigi. "And Mario was just passing through! It wasn't like he was physically attacking you or anything!"

I didn't appreciate a complete stranger strutting through my territory like he belonged there.

"Would you stop trying to justify your actions for one God—m second?" snapped Luigi. "The fact of the matter is—you formed a political and military alliance with a reptile who repeatedly harasses a peaceful realm and makes unwanted advances toward its ruler, a reptile who happens to be our enemy! That's the downside of allying with someone—you have to deal with their adversaries, as well! What you did to my bro certainly didn't help your case!"

"He's right," said Nathan. "Your decision to trap, torment, torture and terrorize Mario made things personal as far as Luigi's concerned. Because nobody messes with his bro!"

"Even if the perpetrator scares him half to death!" Gadd put in. "So, don't even think about discouraging him from trying to save the rest of his friends and fans!"

Oh, I'm *absolutely* counting on him to try and save them. How does the saying go? "The third time's the charm." 3:D

"I gave Luigi a brand-new Poltergust," said Gadd. "He's gonna fight his way to the top of that hotel, and then he's gonna face you—and win. There's no way out of this."

Luigi nodded vigorously. "If you wanna stop me from going any further, then you're gonna have to kill me," he said.

That's the plan. 3:D

"Yeah, well—good luck with that," said Nathan.

He watched as Luigi unbuttoned his overalls, took off his shirt and cast it aside. And whenever the man in green stripped off his shirt, that meant he was getting down to business.

The man in green refastened his coveralls and glared determinedly at the camera. "I'm going back in," he said levelly before switching the camera off.

Nathan gazed at the Professor. "Now what do we do?" he asked.

"The only thing we can do at the moment," said Gadd. "Pray."

Not so fast, typed King Boo. I have something for you.

He sent an attachment.

"Don't—open it," said Gadd.

"Of course I won't," said Nathan.

He gasped as his cursor suddenly started to move, seemingly by itself!

"Hey! Stop that!" shouted Nathan.

Gadd frowned. "What's wrong, Nathan?"

"My cursor—my cursor is alive!"

"What do you mean?" asked Gadd.

"I mean, I'm not touching the mouse—and yet the cursor is moving!" Nathan explained as he began using the mouse to fight the seemingly sentient cursor for control.

"Your cursor isn't alive," said Gadd. "I think King Boo has taken control of your computer!"

Nathan swore as the cursor, now under King Boo's direction, clicked on the link, opening the attachment.

And his heart nearly stopped beating.

There was his friend in Daisy's castle. He was dead, pinned against the wall of a dark room by multiple darts, his dimmed eyes staring and seeing nothing. There were darts impaled through his palms, limbs, torso, trunk—and even a certain southerly area. Blood leaked from the wounds and puddled on the floor.

"How did he…?" Nathan wondered aloud.

He was interrupted when King Boo sent another attachment, once again taking control of Nathan's cursor and clicking on it.

And there was the rescue party Nathan's friend had dispatched, also dead, sprawled in a lake of blood.

I'll make note of their bravery, King Boo typed.

"You psychopath," breathed Nathan.

I'm not a psychopath—I'm a high-functioning sociopath.

Next, King Boo posted a link to a LiveLeak video, which he then opened.

Nathan was taken to a page, asking to confirm that he was 18 years of age or older. He fought against the cursor, but it was no use. King Boo clicked "Yes", and the video began to play.

That video made the gravity of the situation extremely clear.

Boos were pouncing on unsuspecting gamers, swarming them by the scores and roughing them up before forcing them into paintings. And these weren't any ordinary gamers—they were Luigi mains! To make things worse, the incident was being captured on their live streams, so that their audience could hear them screaming and pleading fruitlessly with the Boos as they slowly overcame them. And after sealing the gamers in paintings, the Boos went after their family members! Even teenaged and prepubescent Luigi mains weren't safe from the Boos' wrath. The attacks were reminiscent of being swatted, and Nathan and Gadd had no choice but to watch. Nathan tried to exit out of the video, but it kept disappearing and appearing in another part of his screen.

"What the Hell?!" bellowed Nathan. "They don't even know who you are!"

They will. By the time this is over—I'm gonna have so many artworks to admire. I might even wind up having an ART SALE.

"Are you serious?" gasped Nathan. "You're talking about uprooting thousands of innocent lives! All because of a conflict you escalated!"

That's right, Nathan! Tonight, I'm painting the town red! If anyone attempts to bring destruction down upon me, then I won't hesitate to react in kind. Only my power and mere pleasure is keeping you alive. 3:D

Nathan was almost as green as Luigi's cap. "[Bleep]," he said. "I gotta…"

"Nathan?" Luigi piped up. "What's going on?"

"He—he's initiated a manhunt of your fans and mains that could reach a global scale," said Nathan. "There's a video on LiveLeak, and his minions are trapping everyone maining you in portraits, along with their families. Are you still at the Spectral Catch?"

"Yes, and I've just boarded a ship," Luigi told him. "I see two more Toad retainers up on the quarter deck. But the question is—how am I gonna get up there?"

"There isn't a staircase?" asked Nathan.

"I don't see one," replied Luigi.

There was a splash, and Nathan saw Luigi whirl around.

"What is it?" Nathan asked urgently.

"It's a shark!" Luigi exclaimed. "A ghostly pirate shark! I gotta…"

He was cut off by ghostly laughter, followed by the sound of swords unsheathing.

"I've got some swashbuckling to do!" announced Luigi. "Talk to you later! Stay safe!"

And then he disabled his video feed.

"A ghostly pirate shark?" repeated Nathan. "Shiver me timbers!"

"We both know that pirates don't give up their loot without a fight," said Gadd, "and Luigi's dealing with ghostly pirates. Good thing he has Gooigi and the Poltergust G-00—that'll save him from becoming the catch of the day!"

"I couldn't have said that better myself," said Nathan. "Look, Professor. With my friend dead at the Boos' hands, I have no choice. I gotta head to Princess Daisy's castle and warn her myself. She needs to head to a safe location. For all I know, the Boos are on their way here. Have you reestablished contact with your associate?"

"No, I haven't, but I'll keep trying," replied Gadd.

Silence. Then—

"I'm gonna fix myself something to eat," said Nathan. "I'll be right back."

He went into the kitchen and made himself some ham-and-cheese sandwiches, which he heated up in the microwave.

"Told you I wouldn't be long," he said when he returned. "Did I miss anything?"

"Sadly, no," replied Gadd.

"So, we're stuck with waiting it out?" asked Nathan.

Gadd solemnly nodded.

Nathan took a bite out of one of his sandwiches. "Figures," he said.

And so—Gadd and Nathan waited, the latter listening to his music and munching on sandwiches while the former poured himself a brandy.

Nathan had eaten half of his sandwiches when an update finally arrived.

Luigi's video feed was once again active, showing the deck of the ghostly pirate shark's ship. The first thing that caught Nathan's attention was the crimson smeared across the wooden floor. Miraculously, he didn't feel the urge to puke up the sandwiches he'd eaten. Maybe he'd gotten used to the sight of blood. Who could tell?

The second thing catching Nathan's eye was the rope ladder leading to the quarter deck, where he could see two paintings hanging side-by-side.

"Okay, way to go," said Nathan. "You got that ghostly pirate shark, and now you can save those two retainers."

"Captain Fishhook," Luigi's voice said breathily. "His name was Captain Fishhook, and he was using the next elevator button as a prosthetic eye. He fought by possessing the ship's main deck, while his ghostly crew attacked with cutlasses and ignited powder kegs. Whenever he opened his mouth, I shot a powder keg at it, and I kept firing off powder kegs until I forced him out. Then, he'd slash at me with his hook hand, which protected him from the Strobulb. My sole opening was when he stabbed the hook into the floorboards. This went on for several more cycles before he decided to possess the entire ship! I had to fire my Suction Shot at a small plank of wood, and when he tipped the ship forward, I had to grab onto the plunger to keep me from falling into his jaws. Then, his crew lined up in front of me like a firing squad, hurling the powder kegs at me, and I had to try and shoot them back into that huge mouth. It repeated again and again and again, and I—I just thought about the two Toads. I could hear them, you know. They spurred me on by singing a little sea shanty. And when I finally forced Captain Fishhook out of his ship, I had to deal with another of his attacks, in which he tried to chomp me before slicing away with his hook. In addition, his crew members took swipes at me with their cutlasses, and I had to defeat them before finally defeating him." He laughed. "I reeled in one Inferno of a catch tonight."

"We knew you could do it, Luigi!" cheered Gadd.

"No, really. When I was capturing Cap'n Fishhook, I decided to pretend I was reeling in the day's catch, since the Poltergust has a handle. Okay, I'm heading up the quarterdeck now to rescue the Toads. Hang on."

Nathan and Gadd saw denim as Luigi pocketed his phone. They heard him scurrying up the rope ladder. And then the camera was focused on the two Toad retainers as Luigi shone his Dark Light on them, freeing them from their confines. They slid down a cannon and straight into Luigi's arms.

"It's okay—you're safe now," Luigi said soothingly, hugging the Toads close. "Wanna say hi to a friend of mine?"

"Sure," chirped the Toads, and then Luigi gave his phone to one of them.

The two Toads smiled into the camera, reclining against Luigi's chest.

"Hello," said the Toad holding the phone.

"Hi," said Gadd. "Are you all right?"

"We're fine, thank you," said the other Toad. "Who's the other guy?"

"My name's Nathan, but you can call me Nate. I main Luigi in Smash Bros."

"Hi, Nate," chirped the first Toad. "My name's Ryder."

"And my name's Rian," added the other Toad.

"We're twins," said Ryder.

"Are you sure you're not hurt?" asked Nathan.

"We sustained a few bruises," said Rian, "but otherwise, we're unscathed."

"Okay," said Nathan, "because it looks like you're bleeding."

"Bleeding…?" Rian looked down at the blood staining his jerkin and his skin, with Ryder following suit. "We don't—we don't think that's ours."

"No—that's—not our blood," added Ryder.

Then, his eyes widened, and he swiveled around to look at his rescuer. "Oh, my God," he uttered. "Holy [bleep]."

"Ryder," said Gadd. "Give the phone back to Luigi."

Ryder obliged, and Nathan and Gadd cursed in unison. Frightful-looking slashes adorned Luigi's face, with one dangerously close to his left eye. More gashes crisscrossed his upper body, all of them drooling blood. Burns and soot accentuated these wounds, indicating a hard-earned victory against Cap'n Fishhook and his crew.

"Wait a minute—what's Gooigi doing in the Poltergust's tank?" asked Gadd. "He should've been helping you!"

"It wasn't safe with powder keg explosions raging around me," argued Luigi.

"My word! You're bleeding everywhere!" Gadd exclaimed. "Youngster, I want you in my Lab yesterday, and don't make the mistake of keeping me waiting!"

Luigi sighed. "If you insist," he said.

His face and voice softened as he addressed the Toads. "Ready to go?"

"Ready," said Ryder.

"Ready!" chirped Rian.

The two Toads rode piggyback on Luigi as he descended the rope ladder. But before they could disembark, those gated barriers slammed down in front of the gangplank.

Luigi spoke calmly in a low voice. "Stay behind me, and don't panic," he said.

Quickly, Ryder and Rian dove behind Luigi as he brandished the Poltergust.

Nathan's heartbeat sped up as Boos clad in pirate garb materialized. Some had hooks in lieu of appendages, others wore eyepatches, others had peglegs, and all of them wore tricorn hats. All of them giggled menacingly as they advanced on Luigi, Ryder and Rian.

"Surrender now, and we'll go easy on you!" said one of the Booccaneers.

"In your dreams," replied Luigi.

"We figured you'd say that," the Booccaneer cackled.

All of the Booccaneers drew rapiers and attacked.

The swords, hook hands and eyepatches could block the Dark Light, forcing Luigi to vacuum up the eyepatches and wait for an opening. Nathan watched, transfixed, as Luigi valiantly defended Ryder and Rian against the Booccaneers, grabbing one of them by the tongue and then slamming them into their compadres. Often, a Booccaneer would try to grab a Toad, but Luigi was too fast, keeping his body planted between his charges and the attackers. Nathan heard him breathe in through his nostrils and out through his mouth and saw the camera swing wildly as he evaded or tried to evade attacks. But so far, things looked good, and Nathan allowed himself to hope that for once, the light would pierce this dark night.

And then the feed went black.

"Luigi?" asked Nathan. "Luigi?! Are you still with us?"

Giggling.

"The stupid Boos must've intercepted his signal!" cried Gadd.

"My prayers are with him—along with Ryder and Rian," said Nathan.

His stomach dropped when Luigi's feed was abruptly booted from the chat. Without missing a beat, Nathan worked to reconnect with his main.

"What about the Virtual Boo?" asked Nathan. "Is it still working?"

"I'm getting static!" reported Gadd. "This isn't good at all!"

And it was about to get worse.

King Boo's eyes burned into Nathan and Gadd as his feed rematerialized, snarling into the frame.

"Don't you just hate it when you trap someone in a painting, and then someone else comes along and frees them?!" spat King Boo. "God—mit! I'm sick of this [bleep]! I thought I had the cream of the crop helping me this time around, but I guess I was wrong!"

Nathan blinked. "Are you done?" he asked.

"Not by a long shot!" yelled King Boo. "I'm gonna enjoy dangling hope in front of my old pal Luigi like a carrot before yanking it away! Just you wait! Before this night is over, he'll get what he f—ing deserves!"

Another feed appeared on the chat, showing Luigi struggling against the grip of two Booccaneers. A mix of sweat and blood left a sheen on his bare arms and upper chest, and Nathan could make out additional gashes and bite marks on Luigi, along with nasty bruises.

"No!" he was yelling. "No, you can't have them!"

"Says who?" challenged King Boo with a leer.

A third feed popped up, showing some more Booccaneers tying up a struggling and screaming Ryder with a length of rope and shoving a rag into his mouth before throwing him over the ship's port side. Then, they started dragging the rope towards the stern.

The Booccaneers holding Luigi forcibly turned his head and held it in place, making him watch.

"Oh, my God," said Nathan. "They're keelhauling him!"

"Where's Rian?" asked Gadd.

As if in reply, a fourth feed appeared, and then they saw Rian, stripped of his jerkin and bound to one of the ship's masts.

We'll deal with him later, typed King Boo. Let's take care of Ryder first.

Luigi kicked and twisted, but the Booccaneers had an iron grip, and they held him in places that could hurt like Hell if they wanted to. He tried to activate Burst, but the Booccaneers had anticipated this, pinning his hands behind his back. Tears welled in his eyes as he was made to watch his attackers drag the submerged Ryder along the side of the ship. And once they reached the stern, they slowly dragged him back.

After what seemed like years, the Booccaneers hoisted Ryder back up and casually dumped him before Luigi, who screamed in response. The limp, bloody mass on the ship's deck looked nothing like Ryder. Barnacles and other stuff clinging to the ship's submerged side had sliced into the Toad, leaving behind a grotesque lump of hamburger with a barely distinctive mushroom cap. Both of his eyes had been torn out, and blood stained the rag that had gagged him.

Nathan saw Luigi dry-heave. But to his shock, his own stomach remained steady. Had he become desensitized to the mayhem King Boo was causing?

Steady, Luigi. There's still the second half to experience. 3:D

The Booccaneers revealed Rian to Luigi, and as the feed showing the remaining Toad brightened, Nathan saw that he was bound to the ship's mainmast. More Booccaneers materialized around him, whips tight in their appendages. And not just any whips—those were cat o'nine tails.

"Rian!" shouted Luigi, struggling fiercer than ever.

Nathan and Gadd began shouting, as well, as the Booccaneers lit into Rian, their whips lashing again and again into his small body as he screamed from the pain. The captive audience saw and heard flesh ripping with every swing, and it didn't take long for the whips to become clotted with blood. Relentlessly, the whips rose and fell, taking more bits of flesh along with them. One swing even left Rian's right eye dangling out of its socket, and another nearly cleaved his lips in half. Rian's screams weakened as blood loss took over, and still the beating went on, the Boos cackling with joy, some of them visibly aroused whenever blood sprinkled onto them. Tattered strips of skin dangled from the ends of the whips as they hissed through the air like snakes.

Finally, Rian was just as barely recognizable as Ryder. And with one final stroke from a Booccaneer's whip, Rian's head was cleanly severed from his body, resulting in a splash of blood.

Well done, brethren. How about we wrap things up with a nice burial at sea?

Several Booccaneers stuffed Ryder's body into a weighted burlap sack, which they dropped overboard. They did the same to Rian's headless body, and then used the head to further torment Luigi before unceremoniously chucking it into the sea, as well.

The Booccaneers holding Luigi released him, which proved to be their undoing. The ghost-hunter composed himself rather quickly, unloading his angst and grief on every Booccaneer in his sights with cathartic efficacy. All of the Booccaneers found themselves slammed into the wooden deck, into cannons and into each other. Nathan cheered as if he was watching a football game, and Gadd silently spectated, his eyes greedy behind his spectacles.

Luigi wrestled the last Booccaneer into the Poltergust and stood there for a moment, fists clenched, trying to calm down. Then, he sank to his knees, took off his cap and held it over his heart, whispering a prayer and a benediction.

"Luigi…" Nathan said consolingly.

"Why?" asked Luigi. "Why does this [bleep] keep happening to me?"

"Come back to the Lab," Gadd said gently. "I'll dress your wounds, and you'll have a chance to calm down."

"I'm on my way," Luigi said glumly.

Go on, take a break. The fun will resume shortly.

King Boo gave Luigi, Gadd and Nathan a smirk and a mocking half-salute before disabling his feed.

And as Luigi stumbled off the ship, the feed showing him went dark, too.

"All righty!" exclaimed Gadd. "The Virtual Boo signal is back!"

"So is Luigi's Skype signal," Nathan joined in as he once again viewed the denim of Luigi's coveralls.

There was a flash of a white glove as Luigi took his phone out of his pocket. Nathan and Gadd saw that he was back in the elevator, leaning against the wall and allowing his body to slide into a seated position. He released Gooigi from the Plexiglass tank, the gooey humanoid sitting beside him and rubbing circles into his companion's back. Polterpup hopped onto Luigi's lap and nuzzled the base of his chin, and the hero in green threw his arms around his pet and buried his face against his "fur".

His body started to shake.

He wept.

And his fan and his mentor wept with him.

Please R&R.