Chapter 17

Was that really a good idea?

Rean already thought they were together, or had, which was why he questioned it. How many other people assumed it? More importantly, why did Melyssa care so much? Ash was a nice guy, friendly with a little flirtatious twist. There was NO way she could tell him about her dream, but going back to bed wasn't an option either.

"All right, I'll join you for a little while." Sitting down beside him, Ash held the book out to where she could read it and she merely leaned her head on his arm, drawing her knees up with her back against the wall. "My dream really wasn't a nightmare. I lied." She confessed quietly, already feeling her cheeks tinge pink as Ash looked down at her, her teal eyes slowly looking up at him. "I really don't know if I can even describe it, honestly."

Hmm, if it wasn't a nightmare, but she had come out of her room with flushed cheeks and elevated breathing. Ash's mind immediately went to 'sex dreams'. He knew he had them, though his usually also meant he had the lovely erection to go with it, being a man sometimes sucked. Couldn't sport wood and claim nightmare at the same time as a general rule.

"Well, how did it make you feel then? Can you describe that?" He asked, though he had given his attention back to the page, figuring it would take some pressure off of her and she might be more inclined to talk.

"Heated, shocked, overwhelmed…" How else was she supposed to feel after having a dream about both Rean and Crow kissing her? "I've never had a dream like it before." Was fate trying to tell her something? There was no way she could have anything intimate or romantic with Rean Schwarzer because of his status within the academy. She was his student! "Have, um, have you ever had an intimate dream before, Ash?" Melyssa asked, pulling back from his arm since she was more awake now and those pink eyes gazed down at her with his patent lewd smile. "Dumb question, never mind."

That was not a dumb question, but the smile he had flashed had probably not been the brightest idea, not that he could help it. It had been his first, automatic response to her asking a question. Her question had been the answer to his own about what kind of dream she had had, obviously not the nightmare spiel she had tried saying at first.

"Of course, I have since before puberty." He said finally, keeping his tone even and casual as if this was the most natural thing in the world to be discussing at 4 something in the morning. "I think everyone does, beautiful."

"Not everyone…" She mumbled, rubbing her temples with her fingers, trying to understand where this dream sequence stemmed from. Granted, she had an incredible night with Rean, and then she couldn't get the dance with Crow out of her mind either. It was like her heart was split in two between them and now her subconscious had taken over. "Rean asked if you and I were together because I told him the other reason why I'm hesitant about going to Jurai. And I told him you already know." Her parents forbidding her from joining the military academy and pursuing the way of the sword. "And before you ask, no, the dream wasn't about you, so get that smug look off your face, Carbide. I just figured I'd warn him before the trip, so there's no surprises there. I still haven't told Crow yet."

At one point or another, everyone had a sex dream or a 'wet' dream, it was just a part of life, especially when you were going through puberty or finally starting to figure out things on a sexual level. Melyssa was obviously inexperienced and Ash was tempted to offer her… well, an education. Maybe not a hand's on education, but… he'd offer her advice and knowledge. Yeah, that would probably NOT go over well.

"Wait, stop… if it wasn't about me, and I'm really, really hurt, beautiful, because I thought we hit it off…" Ash's smile widened. "It wasn't about our dear Instructor now, was it?"

Ash could read her like a book and she hated him for it. However, Melyssa somehow managed not to turn completely red at the mention of Rean and shook her head, scoffing. "Are you kidding? He's our Instructor, that would be terrible!" There was no choice except to lie. She nudged Ash, rolling her eyes at the feigned hurt on his face. "I'm not telling you who it was about, but it was my first time…experiencing a dream like that." Another confession was bubbling up inside of her and she could feel Ash pulling it out with that intense gaze of his. "Look, I've never had a boyfriend before or any kind of intimacy. I've devoted my life to the sword and honing my skills. Never had time for anything else. Dance club is the first hobby I've had outside of swordsmanship."

"You have led an incredibly sheltered life and as your friend, I insist on you letting me help rectify this tragedy," Ash said seriously, but when she nudged him with her elbow, he began laughing -softly so they didn't wake anyone up. Rean, he would bet money she had dreamt of Rean. He supposed she wasn't the only girl to do so, he knew Monique did and wrinkled his nose. She had woken him up with HER moaning and other things in her bed, disgusting. "So it's only now that you're finding interest in the opposite gender?"

With her thinking Crow was dead, Melyssa had completely consumed herself in her swordsmanship and put everything else on the backburner. "Honestly? Yeah. I must be some kind of mutant or something."

Considering she was turning 18 on Saturday, Melyssa hadn't found any interest in men until she came to the academy. Then again, she hadn't really been around many men in her life besides her father and grandfather. The boys at school in Jurai weren't anything to look at, nothing compared to the academy.

"And no, you're not helping me rectify it either." There was no way Ash would be her first kiss – Goddess no! "I've never given it much thought as far as having a boyfriend or being in a relationship. Probably because my parents kept pressuring me to get married instead of following the way of the sword. I rebelled against what they wanted me to do." Because I had to find my own way, my own path, even when I thought Crow was dead, she added in thought, scrubbing a hand down her face.

"How are you supposed to get married without any experience in life whatsoever?" Ash asked, though to be honest, it wasn't unheard of. Going from kid to wife or husband was a way of life for many people, especially in smaller countries. That was just ridiculous, going from one extreme to the other without any middle ground, any life experience between the two. "I have a question." His tone turned serious. "If not for thinking Crow was dead, would you have picked up a sword and become so devoted to learning this path?" Would she have gone down another road basically?

Wow, she couldn't remember Ash ever getting this serious with her, even his eyes looked serious and it made a lump form in her throat. "I picked it up shortly after he left Jurai to pursue his revenge on the Chancellor. He told me about it the last night we were together, how he wanted Osborne to suffer for killing his grandfather and Jurai. I wanted to follow him and I thought, one day, we would reunite somewhere in the empire and fight side by side." She sat up more, remembering the first day she picked up her Cutlass, which she took very good care of. It was her grandfather's – he supported her decision, but couldn't go against her parents, or more importantly, his daughter. "I may have picked it up because of Crow in the beginning, but the more I practiced and self-taught myself, self-trained, I discovered I loved it. My passion for it grew day in and day out, night in and night out. My grandfather built some contraptions for me to practice with since my parents wouldn't let me receive proper training for it, so he did what he could to help me. So, in a way, Crow lead me down the path I always felt I was meant to go." The way of the sword. "And when I found out Crow died because of Duke Cayenne, I vowed to get revenge for my best friend. I also wanted revenge against the Ashen Chevalier because I firmly believed Crow died because of him. I didn't know the entire story and now that I do, I don't feel that desire for revenge anymore." Crow was alive and that was all that mattered to her at the end of the day.

"I pray that others fall out of the desire for revenge as quickly as they fall into it." Ash said seriously, wondering if Melyssa realized how special she was. She was about the only female he talked to like this most of the time. Sure, he could hold proper conversations with others, but… more often than not, he was flirting and being… well, himself. "Revenge is what got Crow where he is now."

And that wasn't exactly 100% himself either, he had come back missing some key bits apparently. Revenge for his grandfather. She had wanted revenge for Crow. Those were slippery slopes to be on and he was glad she had managed to come out of it before she wound up jaded and broken.

She frowned, lowering her eyes, and couldn't deny what Ash said. Crow wasn't in a horrible place these days, but he had gone through pure hell in order to arrive here…with only some of his memories. "I know it was wrong to feel the way I did. The only reason I came to Thors is because of my outside help I told you about. They sort of…convinced me to come here to hone my skills. I had no idea what class I would end up in or anything. Actually, I wanted to go to the main school, but they didn't have room for any more commoners, so I was sent here."

What would have happened if she'd been sent to the other school? Would she have discovered Crow was alive or would she have drifted down the road of revenge further? That was a very unsettling thought.

"Now it's my turn to ask you a question, Ash. Do you do this with a lot of people, talk to them about their problems or their feelings? Because you're good at it, just so you know."

"What do YOU think?" He asked derisively, adding in a snort just to emphasize his feelings on that ridiculous idea. "No. No, I do not. Most people think I'm nothing more than some vulgar, handy with a weapon, brick wall." Since he was a bit of a big guy, all muscle. "Why would I want to change how people perceive that? They might give me more responsibility or put me in positions I don't want to be in." Crow was not the only slacker in Class VII, Ash had cornered his own fair share of that market. Admittedly, when people -the select few of them anyway- did find out he was brainy, as well as brawny and not just a lecher, he did enjoy seeing the surprise on their faces. "Besides, I like you, beautiful." He winked one pink eye at her, knowing he had given her food for thought with that revenge bit. That was insightful, even for him and he knew it. "Now, I think," Ash stood up, bending down to help her to her feet. "I'm ready to go back to bed and try squeezing in a couple more hours, how about you?"

She liked him too, as a friend. Ash meant it that way too, Melyssa could tell and slowly shook her head, hugging him briefly around the waist. "Just know that if you ever need to talk about something, no matter how small it is, I'm here for you too. This isn't just a one-way street. I'm not going back to sleep, I think I'll take a quick shower and then go train downstairs for a while."

She was too restless to sleep, especially after that dream and the upcoming trip to Jurai tomorrow morning. Ash responded by kissing the top of her head and headed back to his room with a book in hand, waving over his shoulder at her. Quietly, she went back to her and Crow's room to grab her bathing bag and clothes, jumping nearly out of her skin when the light flipped on.

"Shit!"

And there was Crow with a pistol out, his fiery red eyes wild and his hair sticking up every which way. He had the most jacked dream. "What are you doing?" He demanded gruffly, realizing he was almost pointing the business end of his weapon at her, and put his hand down, shaking his head. He was sitting upright in his bed, the lamp between beds the light he had flipped on. Crow took her in, noting the stuff in her hands, and then glanced at the time, finally putting the gun away. "'m sorry." He muttered, drawing his knees up beneath the sheet he was under, and ran his hands through his hair, making it stand up even more.

"Crow?" Melyssa dropped her stuff instantly and slowly moved toward him, being cautious because he could lash out at her at any moment. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She wasn't the only one that had messed up dreams apparently, but his had been a nightmare. There wasn't a doubt in her mind. Once she was at his bedside, Melyssa slid her fingers through his haphazard hair and those crimson eyes looked up to meet concern-filled teal. Were those tears in his eyes? Her heart splintered at the turmoil she saw in them and without thinking about it, her arms wrapped around his neck to hold him.

"It's okay…you're okay…"

"Off me," He ordered in a half-husky, half-growl tone of voice, shaking his head as she extricated herself from him. "I just pulled a gun on you and you're hugging me?"

Even half-asleep, he knew that made no sense, this woman was out of her mind. He could have shot her. He closed his eyes against that image, crimson blood pooling out of her chest, the light dulling to nothing in her usually vibrant teal eyes. Unsurprisingly, Melyssa didn't move from his bed, just sat on the edge of it and stared patiently at him. Groaning, Crow dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, wiping away the tears that he was refusing to acknowledge.

"I haven't had that dream in years." He muttered, finally looking at her again.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. And I'm not going to ask about it. I just want to make sure you're okay."

Melyssa wanted to reach for him, at least take his hand or touch him in some way, but she refrained. He didn't want to be touched or coddled right now and she understood that. The paleness was slowly disappearing and the color had risen back in his face, so that was a good sign.

"I'm here if you do want to talk about it, though. I always have time for you, roomie." She winked, trying to get him to at least crack a smile, and frowned when he just continued staring at her.

Was the dream about her? Was it about the past? No, he didn't remember her, so why would he dream about her?