I was so exhausted yet I still couldn't sleep though it was now the very early morning hours. I was really getting sick of this shit. I knew my environment and especially the company I had, plus all the information processing I've had to do was to blame. But it was really getting to me now and I needed to find a way to get some regular sleep if I was going to keep up with Wesker's games.
My mind drifted to the forbidden item hidden away in my underwear drawer, courtesy of Jill. I pushed it from my mind… again. It's been coming up every now and again since she told me it was there. It wasn't that I was against masturbating, I did it plenty, just… not here, not now, and not with something Jill bought for me and would surely tease me relentlessly about. I tried to convince myself that she wouldn't find out but it was Jill and I was bad at lying to her, she would find out even if it wasn't right away. But that was it, I wouldn't have to deal with that for a while and I needed something to help me now. She was right of course, getting off would lower my stress and most likely help me sleep. And let's face it, it was pretty much guaranteed to feel great.
With thoughts of how it might feel, I shamefully got aroused before I was finished with my debate on whether or not I should use it. I slipped my hand into my pants under the blanket and stroked my cock to full attention. I could just use my hand but… I mean it was there and now I was more curious than anything. I kicked off my blanket and got up to retrieve the fleshlight from my dresser, taking a moment to locate the bottle of lube or lotion I knew had to be in there too. I found it in a small bag with the cleaning supplies. At least I could count on Jill to be thorough- no, I wasn't going to think about her at a time like this. I had to double check that the camera was off even though I hadn't turned it back on since the discovery.
I got back into bed and pulled my pants down just past my hips to expose myself though I quickly pulled my blanket back over my body. I squeezed some lube onto my hand before coating it over my shaft. Before I gave the fleshlight a go, I wanted something to watch with it so I went for my phone. My imagination was fairly vivid especially when it came to these things but I had doubts if I could trust my own mind with how eager I was suddenly feeling. I idly stroked myself as I browsed for a video, finally settling on one that caught my attention. I was about to press 'play' on it when I had to stop myself. A certain superhuman asshole came to mind and I didn't want to risk him hearing my video. I had headphones but they were at my desk and that was too far for how hard I already was so I unfortunately muted the video.
I stuck to using my hand at first, more or less using it to slowly tease myself as the video was still in its early stages. As it progressed, I became more aware of the small wet noises my hand was making as it slid up and down my lubricated erection. It felt good and I didn't want to stop. I'm sure Wesker wouldn't hear, I was being quiet. The girl in the video had just finished giving the guy a blowjob and climbed on top of him to ride him, her giant breasts bouncing for the camera. For some reason, it didn't do anything for me right now so I tried to focus on watching the guy's dick penetrating her but the camera fixated on her boobs. I was too into jacking off to bother switching videos by this point so I just turned it off. I quickly loaded up my music app and shuffled whatever playlist I had on last before tossing my phone to the foot of my bed. I applied some more lube to the tip of my dick before grabbing the fleshlight and slowly pressing myself into it. It wasn't warm and it didn't quite feel as realistic as I was hoping but it fully engulfed me and I knew it would warm up after I used it for a bit.
I closed my eyes and imagined the girl from the video with her lips wrapped around my cock in place of the fleshlight. I sped up, biting my bottom lip to stifle the low moan in my throat. Why was she suddenly blonde? Didn't matter. It felt so good especially now that the fleshlight was warmed up, it was easier to pretend it was the inside of a woman's mouth. Her boobs were still in the way, always a big selling point for pornos. I used my imagination to slim her curves down a bit more and even imagined she had more defined muscles. I didn't want my partner to be smooth and frail, I wanted someone strong.
It felt better than I originally gave it credit for. I was sweating slightly, my pace nearing brutal now and I threw my head back as a moan slipped out of me through my panting. It was fine, I had music playing so Wesker wouldn't hear anything. I imagined grabbing the woman's short hair, messing it up from it's perfectly slicked back style, and held her in a more chaotic rhythm.
"F-fuck…" I groaned as I felt the warm coil tightening in my abdomen, warning me that I was close. I didn't care, it felt too good and I didn't have to worry about making a mess. When I returned to my headspace it wasn't the woman I had created whose lips were wrapped expertly around my stiff erection. It was Wesker. He was shirtless though he still wore his sunglasses and he was lying between my legs with my dick in his mouth. His hand gripped the base of my shaft and moved in time with his bobbing head. I could almost feel his tongue swirl around the head and lick up the underside along the vein. He was perfect at everything he did, even something like this.
Wesker's sunglasses were suddenly gone and he looked at me with glowing red eyes filled with a lust I knew I would never see in real life. Every muscle in my body suddenly tensed and I slapped my free hand over my mouth to keep in the gasps and curses that wanted to flow out of me. I came into Wesker's mouth and true to the thought that I wouldn't have a mess to clean up… he swallowed every last bit of my cum. My body was trembling as I rode out my orgasm, my hand still slowly moving the fleshlight as I didn't want to stop. Wesker finally removed my penis from his mouth to smirk at me as he ever so slowly licked his lips. He moved to lean up and I knew he was going to kiss me and I wanted it so bad. I sat up as if to meet him halfway before I finally remembered that it wasn't real- Wesker wasn't here. I panted alone in my darkened room before looking down at the fleshlight still hugging onto my now flaccid member. I shivered as I pulled it off, having worked myself into overstimulation. I stared at it in my hand and wondered for a brief moment if that orgasm was supposed to be that intense because of it. I could tell myself that but I knew it wasn't all due to the fleshlight. Like I said, I had a vivid imagination.
… … …
Well it worked. I got some sleep- slept in even. But I didn't feel any better stress wise- in fact I felt worse. I was so worn out after that great orgasm that I didn't have the energy to even begin to stress over what exactly got me to finish. I had been perfectly okay with it at the time too- more than okay, I was even more turned on by his appearance! What the hell was wrong with me? Did I really cum to the thought of Wesker sucking me off? I felt like shit mentally but at least physically I was well rested. I tried not to think about it too much, trying to shrug it off as an overactive imagination filling Wesker in because I was thinking about him- only because I was trying to make sure he wasn't going to hear me!
I took a shower after cleaning the fleshlight since I fell asleep pretty quickly after cumming earlier. Then I made my way out of my room, spotting Wesker at the table with two plates of food. I almost blushed when he looked at me but cleared my throat and tried to act normal as I sat across from him, accepting the classic breakfast he prepared for me though it was past lunch by this time. He was already halfway through eating and I was counting myself lucky. Wesker didn't need to eat or sleep as much as a regular human but every few days he required rest and nourishment. I'm sure he didn't have to but I've noticed that he likes to get all those human things out of the way at once. So if he was eating now, that must mean he was sleeping last night. I smirked to myself, feeling more confident in my belief that he was completely unaware of what I was doing.
Then he yawned and I felt as if all the blood had drained from my body. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought about how odd it was to see him yawn, I'd only seen him act tired a handful of times back in STARS and that was when he was actually human. But no, this meant something far worse. It meant he didn't sleep last night but he was supposed to… like he was prevented. I cleared my throat again, still trying to pretend like everything was normal though I couldn't look at him so I stared at my food as I picked at it.
"Tired?" I asked, hoping it sounded casual enough.
"Quite." was all he replied with. What was that supposed to tell me? Did he hear what I was doing or not? Oh fuck- did I say his name? No, no I definitely would have remembered doing that. "Your music was too loud and kept me up." he finally spoke again and my eyes slowly found his to see he was very slightly glaring at me. "Honestly Chris, must you have it running so late?" I subtly released a breath I didn't know I had held. He didn't know. He only heard the music. Thank god.
"I'll keep it down." I told him and with a curt nod, we both went back to our food.
"What kept you up so late?" he questioned after a bite and I shrugged.
"I'm just still adjusting to sleeping here, it's not a big deal." I told him and he stopped eating.
"Is there anything I can do to alleviate some of the stress I cause you?" I looked up at him curiously but he seemed serious enough so I thought about it. Yes being so close to him so much was frying my nerves and it was hard at first not to pick a fight every time I saw him. But I was getting more used to seeing him and interacting with him was getting easier. His presence was becoming less and less threatening to my instincts every day- hell I even fell asleep around him yesterday though I still blame that mostly on exhaustion. Not locking him in his cell last night didn't do anything to make me feel any less safe, I always knew the locks wouldn't stop him. It was also nice not having to worry about locking him in and letting him out every day. He was even going out of his way to cook for me when I wasn't doing it myself. He was trying and it showed, that was enough for now for me to try as well.
"No." I shook my head and continued eating. "You're already doing enough." I noticed his lips twitch up for a moment in pride but didn't say anything about it as he returned to eating too. "Sometimes the letters get to me a bit but it's not really in a bad way." I explained and he raised an eyebrow. "Like the last one, it…" I sighed. "I guess I never really thought you had lost anything in Racoon City because you were a part of what happened. I'm still coming to terms with you experiencing loss too." Wesker nodded along with my words thoughtfully.
"Racoon City was never much of a home to me. I've moved around enough and never understood the sentiment but I did lose everything during that incident as well. I want to be clear that it was never my- or Umbrella's intent to have the city perish as it did, that happened at the hands of Dr. Marcus and his companion. Umbrella simply cleaned up the mess." he explained and it was my turn to nod.
"I know." I told him. "Rebecca was there at the training facility and told us everything." I sighed and stopped eating again. "Tell me," I hesitated but pushed out the question. "I get that STARS was constructed and funded by Umbrella to be like their private army or something and I'm sure we helped to clean up their underdealings without knowing it. I've come to terms with that but exactly how involved were you in setting us up? From what I've read, it didn't really seem like your plan."
"I wanted to involve STARS much earlier when the virus was leaked to prevent any further issue but the higher ups disagreed. I was ordered to keep STARS out of the investigation because they wanted a chance to handle the situation without the risk of exposure." I remembered that. When the reports of strange cult like killings had become known in the surrounding forest, it felt like something STARS should handle. But Wesker kept saying it was another department's case though he never seemed to like saying it and his mood would sour every time it was brought up. I used to think it was because he was upset about the killings but I knew better now. He didn't like being held back by his orders, it was probably a relief when he finally got the green light. "Of course the rest of the police force couldn't handle the workload that was ever increasing and the public became restless. It was only after the situation was being covered by the news that Umbrella realized they could no longer contain it themselves and I was ordered to send in STARS." he stopped to take another bite and drink from his water bottle. Realizing I was still neglecting my food too, I started eating again.
"Who's idea was it to kill us?" I asked, my voice surprisingly not holding any hostility in it. I'd accepted what had happened a long time ago though forgiveness wasn't anywhere in sight.
"Spencer's." he stated simply. "Quarantine failed and the mansion was overrun with infected, leaving no option but the eradication of everything there. However they simply couldn't destroy it from the outside since there was so much of value still inside. So I was to retrieve virus samples, embryos, and opportunistic combat data. However as witnesses to the darkness Umbrella hid, all STARS were to be eliminated. Then I was to destroy the mansion and return to Umbrella with the spoils. I probably would have gone back to being a researcher for them but that alone no longer suited my desires."
"So you double crossed them."
"Of course. I saw they were going down and jumped ship so as not to be taken with them. My plans only varied in who I was giving the samples and data to." he explained.
"How'd that work out for you?" I smirked a bit viciously and he gave me a warning look.
"Yes, because of my death, Sergei was allowed the time to lock me out of the mainframe." he stated sourly. "And if it wasn't for you showing up when you did, I would have had time to complete the download and had what I needed for the new company. Of the two that ruined my plans, at least I got to kill Sergei." his eyes glowed with that familiar hatred for me again and my body tensed and hot adrenaline flowed through my veins. I was itching all over now, waiting for him to make a move. But he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and drank some more water. "But that's in the past now." he seemed to tell himself rather than me. I was feeling disappointed again that we weren't fighting even though I antagonized him. My leg bounced with the unused energy I now had and I scarfed down the rest of my food. To move around some more to try to dispel some of it, I went to wash my dishes and grab a water bottle.
"So why not let STARS live since it wouldn't matter to you if we ratted Umbrella out or not?" I called from the kitchen as the blond was taking his last few bites.
"You were still witnesses to my involvement and that information would have been best buried." he said as he joined me in the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and watched him wash his plate, the muscles in his arms rippling with movement. When I noticed the arm closer to me lifted slightly and flexed, my eyes snapped to his to see him smirking at me. I scoffed at his showing off and turned my head away but didn't say anything about it.
"Did you actually have people ready to hurt Barry's family?" I suddenly asked to change the topic.
"No, the threat was enough." he stated and I nodded, feeling at least a little relieved that Kathy and the girls were never in real danger then. Though I doubted Barry would feel the same since like Wesker said, the threat was enough. "Why did you do that?" the blond asked as he gestured to my whole body and I looked down at myself in confusion. There was nothing on my clothes and nothing out of place. "Your body was exceptional before, there was no reason to gain so much mass." I blushed at his wording and cleared my throat as I folded my arms defensively.
"Yeah there was." I muttered more to myself but it seemed to catch his interest since he turned to face me, waiting for me to continue. This wasn't something I wanted to admit to him but we had an unspoken agreement of a quid pro quo that so far neither of us had broken as long as the topic wasn't confidential information. So I regrettably told him the honest truth of pushing myself to become as strong as I could. "After I found out you were superhuman, I wanted to be able to fight you on even grounds, or at least give myself the best chance of actually hurting you as I could." he smirked at that and I groaned at the venomous pride that it carried.
"You did that all for me?" he teased and I rolled my eyes, my arms tightening around myself.
"Not… it was…" I fumbled for the right thing to say because, yes he was technically right but I didn't like how he said that and the implications the words carried. "It was because of you- not for you." ignoring my argument, he stepped closer to me and I pressed myself farther into the counter behind me.
"Same thing." he said with a lowered voice, his red eyes flicking down to my lips for the slightest of moments before returning to the blue of my eyes. My face was already hot but it got even hotter after that. His arms moved to either of my sides to rest on the counter, effectively pinning me in and though he was only three inches taller than me, I felt much smaller right now. My hands instinctively gripped onto his wrists like I was going to remove them but I didn't. The action left me open and exposed as he leaned in closer to me. "Chirs." he whispered, so close now I could feel his warm breath that carried my name on my face.
My mind was clouded and my thoughts swam too fast for me to hold onto any of them. But there was one thing I could still think of and recall so vividly… the Wesker that swallowed my seed before reaching to kiss me. I relived the near desperation for the very long awaited kiss I felt then and wanted it just as badly now. But I knew this was real, not the imaginary Wesker I made up. The man in front of me was still a monster, no matter how nice he was pretending to be and I didn't want to play along with his game. I didn't want to be some piece for him to manipulate for whatever scheme he had in motion. I wanted something real and that was something he would never be able to give me.
"Stop." my voice was small and pathetic but I managed the simple command. His eyes searched mine and I don't know if he saw how much I wanted him to kiss me or the pleading expression but he finally leaned back. He let go of the counter and I hadn't realized how tightly I'd been holding onto his wrists until I had to force myself to let them go to see they had turned slightly red under my grip. If he wasn't already aware of my conflicted feelings, he certainly had to be now.
I wordlessly moved away from him to get some space between us. I wanted to go into my room but I didn't, it felt too much like running away. So I did what I always do in this situation, I distracted myself. I dropped to the floor to start my workout with some pushups. I heard a long sigh before Wesker was next to me, joining in my exercise. He kept at pace with me though I knew for fact he could easily outpace me without breaking a sweat. It was a kind gesture and I took it as a form of an apology as well as him even joining me in the first place. And like that, we were fine again.
After I was finally ready to call it, Wesker stopped as well. We went our separate ways to take showers and I was pleased to have a blank mind. When I left my room however, I was met with the full view of Wesker's naked body still in the shower. He was as brilliant in all his glory as I imagined and knew he would be. I didn't stare or allow him the satisfaction of noticing that I had seen him. I just shut my door and took a few breaths to ease my mind before it could start anything. I finally heard the water shut off and waited an extra few minutes for him to get dried off and dressed. I was suddenly feeling a little envious of Jill and whoever else was on cameras when he showered, getting to watch him without worry of being caught. I'm sure it was just a job to them though, it didn't mean anything and it wasn't interesting though anyone could admit to his good looks. But it stirred me up because of these unwanted emotions I unfortunately still had for the man.
We burned last night's letter and he handed over the new one which I left on my desk before we found ourselves back on the couch together in silence. It was getting late but I wasn't tired since I slept in so late. Maybe I'd just go back to my room anyway and watch some tv or something. But I was getting used to being out here more, hiding away in my room seemed more lonely than it had the first few days here. I wasn't a very social creature, I lived for the work, but I was constantly surrounded by people and cherished my time alone. But I wasn't used to being alone this much and with the stress of the situation I never really got to enjoy the solitude, it was unwanted anyway so it only put me on edge. Wesker was my only company and I heard it wasn't uncommon for people to seek out another person even if the attention they got was negative. Maybe I counted myself a little lucky that Wesker wasn't being negative or hostile at all, he was well behaved, and… I've said before that it was almost nice to be around him right now. Maybe I could bring the tv out here so long as I stayed away from the news or anything he could learn from. Me and my biggest enemy chilling on the couch watching movies together… even back in STARS I never imagined that would happen.
His advances on me still bothered me relentlessly and I wanted to question what the hell he thought he was doing… but I was afraid of the answer. So I wouldn't ask. After a while the blond realized conversation wasn't going to happen so he got up to retrieve his notebook before returning to sit with me again instead of writing at his desk. 'Would you believe I simply enjoy your company?' That's what he said yesterday… did he feel the weight of isolation too? Is that why he sat out here with me instead of staying in his cell?
"How much time do you spend around other people?" I asked him and he gave me a sideways glance full of irritation and a look that said 'so now that I'm working you want to talk'. I just shrugged and he sighed though he didn't put his notebook down.
"Enough." he answered shortly and it was my turn to sigh. I wasn't sure if he would actually answer me if I pressed for more and it wasn't important enough for me to try. He seemed intent on his writing, maybe tomorrow's letter wasn't done yet. I'd leave him alone. I pulled out my phone to check the news and thought about downloading a stupid game or something but I couldn't find one that seemed interesting enough to go through the effort.
I finally caved and went to grab one of the puzzle toys the girls got me. It was two curved bolts with a nut screwed onto all four ends. The trick was to get them apart. I fidgeted with it for a while, turned it this way and that, tried to pry them apart until I worried I might break them. For a minute I thought I might have had one of them but when it wouldn't come loose, I started to get frustrated. It wasn't until I scoffed at the thing and lowered it that I noticed red eyes observing my movements with interest and amusement. I sighed in annoyance and wordlessly handed it over to Wesker, knowing he would somehow be able to get the two bolts apart quickly. He put his notebook down on his lap and rested the pen in its spine before taking the toy from me. His slender fingers twisted at two of the screws, seeming to line them up, and then easily slid the nuts past each other. He held the two separated bolts out for me but I didn't take them back.
"How?" I demanded as I gawked at him though I had expected it.
"When I was young my caretakers used to give me such toys to test my problem solving skills and to train my mind." he answered, still holding it out for me like I was just delayed in taking them but I didn't have any intention of that.
"I'm good at problem solving." I defended myself and he smirked with a nod.
"With tactical situations, yes. But you can also be impatient and hotheaded which causes you to miss small details like this." he finally caught on that I wasn't planning on taking the bolts from him so he quickly put them back together before trying to return them to me again. I had nothing to say to that since it was true… though I didn't like that he knew that much about me. I knew just as much about him though so I guess that made us even.
"Show me." I demanded as I scooted closer so I could watch him work his magic. His smile remained as he also scooted a bit closer to me and again we both pretended not to notice that we were now touching. It was too much for me when Wesker decided to make a direct move but these small moments were almost comfortable.
"These two have a hidden smooth edge to allow them to slide by each other." he pointed out the two nuts that had one smoother edge than the others. He was right, it was one of those small details I didn't catch because I honestly didn't really care enough about doing it to really try. "Simply align the flat edges to get them apart." he slid them away from each other and held them in different hands to display it. "You use the same method to put them back together as well." he stuck them together again and this time when he passed it back to me, I did take it. I mimicked his actions and got the bolts separated just like that. It was such a simple solution, now I felt stupid.
"I'll get the next one on my own." I stated confidently as I went back to my room to switch the puzzle for another before returning to Wesker, sitting just as close as when I left. The blond had placed his notebook on the coffee table now and was waiting for me. This one was a wooden sphere the size of my palm that had multiple pieces constructing it. It's supposed to be difficult to take apart but even harder to put back together.
I wasn't sure how long we were playing with the puzzles but we were working on the fourth now. Wesker patiently watched as I tried to figure them out and only offered hints here and there. I didn't allow myself to get frustrated with them and actually listened when he reminded me not to overthink it as more often than not these tended to have simple solutions. I did just fine on my own but I did appreciate the subtle clues he would give me when he noticed I was stuck. After we finished it, he yawned again and I blushed as the same thoughts from this morning came back to me. Which then spiraled into thoughts of why it was something to be embarrassed about which led to remembering just how good my secret activity felt and what pushed me over.
"Go to bed." I told him as I stood up, taking the puzzle with me. "I'll keep my music down this time." saying that implied I would be doing something that required my music be on in the first place… did I intend to masturbate again tonight? I wasn't really planning on it, especially with where my thoughts had taken me last time… but now that I was thinking about it, I felt a tension inside me that craved it.
"Alright." he said with a wicked smirk that he noticeably tried to hide but didn't quite manage before I saw it. I grew suspicious but didn't know what to make of it enough to gather any ideas about what it meant. I guess I had gotten used to 'not overthinking it' enough over the last while to apply it to this as well. "Goodnight Chris." he nodded to me in parting and then went into his cell to go lay down. I didn't linger to watch him as I usually tended to as I was suddenly feeling pent up and just wanted to get to my room.
I locked my door, put the puzzle back, and went for my headphones in my bag but stopped. Even just thinking about turning on a porno wasn't doing anything to excite me. I know I should still be disgusted with myself but after what I realized earlier when Wesker made a move on me… I was still ashamed to have these feelings for him but I couldn't pretend anymore like they didn't exist. I would never allow myself to be his plaything because… I don't know, maybe he's bored. I still was shocked to discover that he swung that way since he didn't really seem the type but I ignored how that gave me butterflies and I crushed the twinge of hope that rang through me. I wasn't content with being 'fun' for him, I wanted something real and acknowledged that would never happen. So… if I couldn't have it in real life… maybe it was fine for me to have it in my imagination. There wasn't really any harm in allowing myself that, was there?
~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~
The bagpipes solemnly played for the fallen officer as the ones closest to him carried his casket to the hole where he would be buried. An officer I didn't know from the patrol department had been killed in action. STARS was only here for protocol to pay respects to our fallen comrade. I didn't care for the event, people expected far too much from these things. It was unacceptable to not care about death and I couldn't bring myself to even bother with faking it. I didn't know the man, I didn't know his family, and if anyone hated me over this it wouldn't hinder my work at all so I saw no reason to waste the effort. My reputation as a cold and serious man should at least serve me well here. I watched the proceeding in silence, wanting to be back at the office or at home. At least we weren't expected to attend the after service so I could leave after this.
I stared off at nothing in particular, lost in my own thoughts as the pastor rambled off last rites and people took turns giving speeches about the man. I didn't care to listen to any of it, opting to preoccupy my mind with planning out how I would bring my team out of the slump that was sure to follow this unfortunate event. Perhaps we could take the helicopter out to the mountains for some search and rescue training. It had been a while since we had done that though we haven't had any related cases, it was important to keep in practice. My team always loved taking the helicopter anywhere, always acting like children on Christmas morning over it. Not to mention the hiking, rappelling, and other exercises that were involved with this training, it was all like playtime for them. Yes, I believe that would do well to lift their spirits and if there was any lingering negativity I could always bring in donuts since that always got a desirable reaction. I should prepare for that just in case and bring donuts along during the training for everyone to enjoy during a break. They'll of course know I'm spoiling them but no one would call me out on it because they'll appreciate it enough to avoid risking it not happening again.
Then I noticed Chris lift his hand to wipe at his eye quickly before returning to his attentive stance. That's odd. Chris wasn't one to get over emotional in the face of the public, he believed the military and law enforcement were pillars of sorts for everyone else to rely on so he wouldn't have any weakness on display here. So why was he crying where so many could see? He was a man of action who didn't do well in idle for long because he was impatient at times. But he was a strong soldier that was able to keep his emotions in check when he needed to, especially for the sake of someone else. I'm sure he was upset over this death but it wasn't as if this was the first funeral of a fellow officer he had attended. That led to the conclusion that this must be personal. He never moved to make a speech and he never approached the widow to give his personal condolences so I could reasonably assume he hadn't been very close to the man. But he had at least been friends with him for his emotions to get away from him like this. To him, this wasn't just another lost comrade but the loss of a friend.
I watched him for the remaining duration of the funeral but his face remained hardened and he stared only at the casket. As the service was being brought to a close and the civilians began to leave, Chris finally stepped forward to place a careful hand on the coffin.
"Goodbye." I heard his soft whisper. His lip trembled slightly but he bit down on it to keep it still as he offered a salute and walked away. I paid my respects quickly so I could catch up to Chris's retreating form. I was sure he was going to attend the after service which I had no intention of doing so I had to do this now. I checked to be sure no one was around his vehicle as I approached him just as he opened the driver side door.
"Chris." I called to stop him from getting in and he turned to me with a tired irritation in his eyes like he was really hoping to get away without anyone interacting with him. His eyes were already reddening but he steeled himself for our conversation, his stance losing its slight slouch and his jaw setting to keep from showing any minor tremble.
"Yes captain?" his voice was tense and dry. I could tell he wanted me to leave him alone and I didn't fully understand why I had sought him out in the first place. I shouldn't want to comfort him, no one would fault me if I didn't. But I couldn't deny this strange sentimental urge or the odd sense of pain I felt at witnessing his state so the best way to rid myself of it was to act on it. The sooner I did it, the sooner it would dissipate.
"I'm sorry for your loss." I told him simply but his eyes widened and he looked around as if to check that we were alone.
"No one's said that to me." he stated numbly with a humorless chuckle as he rubbed at his neck, his eyes downcast. It seemed not many knew he had been friends with the fallen officer so no one had bothered to treat him as if he had lost as well. Of course when an officer died it was felt by all but there was a difference when it was a friend as well. "Of course you would pick up on it." he muttered more to himself. I continued to watch him as he cleared his throat. "Thanks but I'm fine. His family is suffering more than I am."
"Perhaps." I nodded, not turning away from him. "But I'm sure they have plenty of others to help them through this trial. Who do you have?" I noticed his lip tremble again and he was blinking away fresh tears. I placed a hand on his shoulder and he finally met my gaze. "You did a good job keeping yourself together out there but you don't have to be strong for me." I informed him with a soft tone. Chris shouldn't have to play the role of the tough guy with me, I didn't need his support nor did I want him thinking I viewed his sorrow as a weakness. It was human and genuine, it was a piece of what made Chris who he was. His eyes searched mine though I'm unsure of how much he could actually see of them. After a few silent moments, a tear slid down the brunet's cheek and I watched it descend.
"Thank you Wesker." he could only manage a whisper as he nodded slowly in understanding. He made no move to wipe away the wetness from his face so I did it for him.
"Of course." I answered almost kindly. He shouldn't have to be alone through this, he needed to know that people cared for him. But that begged the question of why it was I that was here for him. What did that insinuate?
There's the trick- you're welcome! Anyway sorry this took me longer to post than I was hoping but my school and work schedule is back in full swing so I don't get much time to myself to do much of anything and when I do, honestly I kind of just laze around. I'll try to be a bit more attentive to this when possible. Man poor Chris though, right? Relationships are hard especially when you feel like you're the only one that wants something more out of it or is putting anything into it at all. Guess we'll see how this unfolds. Also good on Chris for getting information out of Wesker for multiple reasons but I'm just glad they get to have these talks. See you guys around, later!