"I swear that fucker did it on purpose."
"I'm pretty sure Seijuro-kun did. But there's nothing we can do about it. Just let it go, Mako-tan."
"He's fucking with me. You know he is."
"He's gone back to Kyoto for now so just let it go, Mako-tan."
"At least get rid of it."
"Fine." Kuroko sighed and picked up Akashi's 'misplaced' wristbands from the wash and tossed them into the bin. It had been more than a week since Akashi and Murasakibara had left Tokyo, but Kuroko was still finding bits and pieces of Akashi around which pissed Makoto greatly. A missing waterbottle, Akashi's jersey in Kuroko's bag, Kuroko's phone had a new red casing, and now Akashi's wristbands which Kuroko had unknowingly used during training.
"That little shit is kind of a pervert, isn't he? Stealing your waterbottle hoping to get a taste of you, making you use his sweat-filled wristbands..." Makoto tried to come across as casual but Kuroko saw the other's eyebrow twitch in irritation.
"He really can be slightly creepy like that. Be thankful that Daiki-kun hasn't joined in." Kuroko sighed in relief as he finally found a pair of usable wristbands that weren't property of Akashi to pack into his bag. He was running late.
"I could always drop you off." Hanamiya offered as Kuroko rushed around the apartment.
"The last time you dropped me off, you gave everyone a mini heartattack." Kuroko deadpanned.
"Tch. I did you a favour. Of course I was going to collect a payment somehow."
"I'm glad I amuse you so."
"You always do, Tetsu-tan." Makoto gave an elaborate smile that made Kuroko glare back at the other. "Now, get your shit together. We have to leave in five if you want to make it to your little gathering in time."
They left the house after eight minutes because Makoto was being a little shit but Kuroko knew that leaving late had been part of Makoto's plan all along. Without prompting, Kuroko pulled out his Makoto's jacket from the back of his motorcycle and dawned it together with the spare helmet that Makoto had purchased since the last time.
"Hold on tight. Feel free to feel me up if you want to."
"You're being such a child, Mako-tan."
"Oh come on. I know you enjoyed the last time you rode with me, Tetsu."
"Really, Mako-tan? Please feel slightly ashamed of yourself."
"You can handle it." Makoto gave him a slight pat on the thigh but glanced back to check that Kuroko was really okay with the teasing. They were rather newly attached after all, and Kuroko knew Makoto had some insecurities about overstepping and being too much of an asshole.
Kuroko responded by smooshing his face into Makoto's back to inhale the other's scent. Makoto snorted and started the engine. The ride was smooth from there. Kuroko smiled. They might not be people who knew how to show affection typically, but they understood each other's language and guestures.
Things were good.
And Makoto had some fine abs that Kuroko had explored during the short ride.
Reaching late at the Miracles' usual streetball session meant that everyone was waiting for Kuroko to arrive. Like the last time, Kuroko could feel waves of smugness rolling off Makoto and knew that the captain was up to something.
"Please, Mako-tan. Control yourself."
"I always like hearing you say 'please', Tetsu-tan."
"Please. Stop." Kuroko gave Makoto's side a tiny pinch in warning. Makoto sniggered, the sound endearing to Kuroko. His boyfriend (BOYFRIEND!) had smiled more within the last week than Kuroko had ever seen and it heartened him to know that he, the shadow, was the one making Makoto so happy.
Things were really, really good.
"Oi Tetsu! What's he doing here again?!" Came Aomine's gruff voice as the rest of his friends approached Hanamiya's motorbike.
"I gave my boyfriend a lift, obviously." Was Makoto's smug reply.
Another thing that happened more frequently within the last week was Makoto flexing his 'boyfriend' status in front of the miracles, especially Aomine. Kuroko knew it was because of the kiss that Aomine managed to drop on Kuroko and Makoto was simply taking pleasure in slow revenge.
"Thanks for the lift, Mako-tan. I'll catch you tonight then." Kuroko quickly dismissed before anything could escalate.
"You know, since you're here, why don't you play a couple of rounds with us?" Aomine challenged. "You're always running that fucking mouth of yours and I'd love to knock your ass down a peg or two."
"Daiki-kun, I don't think that's necessary-"
"You're right, Daiki-cchi. He is Tetsuya-cchi's boyfriend and we should really get to know him better." Kise added.
"Mako-tan has errands to run-"
"It wouldn't take long. And besides, Oha Asa says it's a day of new happenings for Capricorns." Midorima continued.
"Perhaps another time would be better? Mako-tan is not prepared or dressed for basketball-"
"Sure. Why not? Tetsu-tan's always going on about how he enjoys your little streetball sessions. Might as well see what all the hype's about." Makoto shrugged and moved to park his bike.
Kuroko glared. Damn it. So this was the plan all along.
There was no way Kise, Aomine and Midorima managed to coerce Makoto, the spider of Kirisaki Daiichi, into anything he didn't plan to do.
Makoto had wanted to play with the Miracles for sure. But why?
From the corner of his vision, Kuroko saw Momoi snigger and shake her head. Only a Slytherin could understand the motives of another Slytherin while the rest of them continued to be strung along in their machinations.
"You're not even dressed properly, Mako-tan." Kuroko challenged.
"Oh, you have a spare jersey in your bag, don't you? Why don't you pass that over?" Makoto said it so offhandedly, it almost made Kuroko believe that he did pack a spare jersey into his bag.
Damn it. Makoto had definitely planned for this because never in Kuroko's basketball life did he ever pack a spare jersey into his bag. Makoto must have slipped it in when Kuroko was eating breakfast.
The next thing his boyfriend decided to do was pull off the shirt he was currently wearing to change into the spare jersey Kuroko had 'packed'.
Oh. Shit. Right. Kuroko forgot about last night.
Down Makoto's neck, under his nipples, and down one side of his ribs and all the way past Makoto's hip bones were little red marks and bruises that Kuroko had nibbled on to Makoto's skin last night. Kuroko thought this boyfriend did look very hot with his marks littered all over but he was pretty sure his friends wouldn't think the same.
Kuroko could practically hear everyone holding their breaths as Makoto took his time to change into the damned spare jersey.
He had to force himself not to hide his face in embarrassment.
"Wow, Tetsu-kun. I never thought-"
"Please don't finish that sentence, Satsuki-chan."
"But I always thought Hanamiya-kun would be the biter-"
"Really, Satsuki-chan, please stop."
"He says please a lot too. Very polite in bed, our Tetsu-tan." Makoto grinned as he finally got the spare jersey on. Kise actually wheezed and Midorima started rubbing his temples. Aomine was still non-functioning.
"Makoto." Kuroko warned, face flaming.
"Okay, okay. Fine, I'm stopping." Hanamiya raised his hands in innocence. "Shall we play some ball?"
"Tetsu-"
"Daiki-kun, let's just start. We're running late as it is."
"That's because this morning you wanted me to-"
"Makoto!"
"Okay, okay. Fine, I'll stop running my mouth." Hanamiya waggled his stupid thick brows.
"Oh my god. Please stop." Midorima finally put an end to all the sex talk and practically dragged both Kise and Aomine onto the court since the two had started to malfunction again. "Shall we try some 2 on 2? Or 2 on 3?"
"Let's start with 2 on 2. I want to see how Dai-chan works with Hanamiya-kun as a point guard-"
"Fuck no!" Aomine seethed.
"How about Yellow and I against Blue and Tetsu-tan? Tetsuya can serve as a point guard and I want to see what the big deal about this Blue Light that Tetsu-tan talks about." Hanamiya quickly intercepted, unwilling to be paired with the guy that confessed to his Tetsuya.
"What did you call me?! You fucking asshole I'm going to trash your stupid face-"
"Mou I wanted to play as Tetsuya-cchi's light!" Kise whined as usual.
"Actually, I think you might enjoy playing with Mako-tan, Ryouta-kun. He really knows how to support and make others shine well." Kuroko commented, passing the coloured bibs out to signal the teams.
"You're making me sound too nice, Tetsu-tan."
"Watch out for stray ankles, Mako-tan. Don't want you tripping again." Kuroko mentioned offhandedly as he stretched his calfs.
"You're such a fucking little shit." Makoto gave Kuroko a little shove towards the other side of the court then signalled for Kise to join him. "Oi, Yellow. Come over. I'm going to give you a taste of how it's like to play with a proper shot caller and not that loser Kasamatsu you have."
"Please watch out and listen to my calls, Daiki-kun."
"Tch. I know your movements like the back of my hand. We're going to beat them easily." Aomine grinned as the two exchanged smirks and fistbumps.
The match started off with the AoKuro team in the lead because the two obviously worked better with each other given the experience they have being a duo. Hanamiya had taken the time to read Kise's movements and by the half time, Hanamiya was directing Kise into plays that got past Aomine's defence and Kuroko's shadow zone. After that, Kise had gotten the feel of Hanamiya's directions and suddenly the AoKuro team found it difficult to score against Hanamiya's spider web supported by Kise's raw talent. Towards the end of the match, the score had even out and Kise's light was shining through despite playing against the dream pair.
"Hanamiya-cchi! You're amazing!"
"Wow. How did we get so familiar? Never call me that ever again." Hanamiya sneered back at the excited Kise.
"Did you see how he coordinated that last play? My mind practically shut off and I could just focus on the movements while Hanamiya-cchi directed me!"
"Again with that name. It's disgusting, stop."
"Shit that was harder than I thought it would be. You've really improved, Ryou." Aomine complimented and gave Kise a high-five. "Tetsu's hard to play with if you don't notice his minute movements and signals."
"I totally couldn't get a read on it while playing against the two of you!"
"Mako-tan could, and he directed you accordingly that's why it was so difficult for us to score halfway through." Kuroko smiled and gave Kise a high-five too. "You were amazing, Ryouta-kun."
"I hate to say it but Hanamiya really made you shine." Midorima said with respect lacing his voice.
"This is getting a little too sweet for me." Makoto's frown got deeper and deeper with each positive statement.
"Awww he's really just allergic to compliments and sincerity, isn't he?" Momoi nudged Hanamiya and Kuroko almost sniggered at Hanamiya's flinch.
"Woman, don't act so close to me. I'm not afraid to hit you."
"He's really quite a Tsundere." Midorima added.
"We need to play another round! Hanamiya-cchi is amazing!" Kise continued and slung an arm around Hanamiya who tried his best to shrug the hyper puppy off but to no success.
"Tetsuya! Call them off! Your colour pencils are fucking annoying me!" Hanamiya hissed as he continued to try to pry Kise's arm off while Momoi latched onto his other arm. As Makoto spun around to shake the two off, Aomine roared out a laugh and Midorima covered his mouth to hide his amusement.
"I'm pretty sure this was what you planned for when that spare jersey made its way into my bag, Mako-tan." Kuroko smiled fondly while Makoto growled back, helpless against the onslaught. Kuroko knew that despite the harsh words, Makoto wanted to be accepted by Kuroko's close friends.
"Hey, I kind of want to see how Tetsuya-cchi and Hanamiya-cchi play together. I've never seen it before." Kise commented.
Kuroko and Makoto exchanged looks. "That's because we've never played on the same team before." Kuroko replied, surprised at the revelation. After all this time spent with Makoto on court, practicing new moves and learning from the other, they've never played on the same team or tried their skills out together.
Huh.
Kuroko felt excited as he exchanged bibs with Kise and went over to stand next to Makoto to face the two aces. And then, suddenly, the thought struck hin:
The last time he played against these two… He went into Zone with Kagami.
A sense of panic overwhelmed him. What if he couldn't go into zone with Makoto? What if they were not compatible? Would Makoto feel offended?
Fingers threaded through his hair and a tight grip yanked his head backwards, pulling him out of his spiraling thoughts. The tugging sensation was so familiar by now he gave a groan of desire rather than pain.
"Tetsu-tan." Makoto whispered, grip tight, leaning into Kuroko's ear. "You're shouting your thoughts out loud."
"Sorry." Kuroko winced.
"You're an idiot."
"I thought Mako-tan was trying to make me feel better?"
"Yeah, you're right. You're my idiot to handle now." Hanamiya sighed and Kuroko felt happiness bloom in his tummy. Their relationship was still new and Kuroko will probably never get tired of Makoto staking his claim. "Don't compare me to your stupid light. I don't need a shadow."
Right. Makoto didn't need a shadow. He was never a shadow when it came to practicing or strategising with the Spider.
"What do you need me to be then?" Kuroko asked, curious to how his boyfriend would reply now that they were to be on the same team.
"I just need you to be happy playing the basketball that you love."
Kuroko's heart skipped a beat.
Makoto used a sweet tone and had a soft smile which disappeared in the next moment. "As if I'd say something like that. Get your act together Tetsu-tan and stop being such a burden. We play to win because these rainbow freaks of yours underestimate us and we need to get them to wake the fuck up to the reality that they're don't have the biggest dicks around."
Kuroko snorted. Trust Makoto to know what to say to knock him out of a funk, no matter how unconventional the method may be. His heart still thumped from the sweet words that he knew Makoto had meant but was too embarrassed to acknowledge.
Feeling cheeky and somewhat thankful for Makoto lightening the mood, Kuroko decided to tease the other:
"I hope Mako-tan isn't expecting me to say something like 'of course Makoto has the biggest dick around' or something like that."
Makoto spluttered, Kuroko laughed freely catching the attention of the other Miracles.
"Oi! Are you two done flirting or what? Can we get the game going?" Aomine sniped impatiently.
"Bet you can't wait to get your ass kicked." Makoto taunted back. "You know what? I'm feeling generous today. You, Green! Why don't you join in as well? Tetsuya and I can handle three coloured pencils, no problem."
Kuroko was rather doubtful of that, but he wasn't going to undermine Makoto's decision in front of others.
"Oi don't you think you're too full of yourself, Hanamiya?" Midorima frowned but grabbed a bib to join in anyway.
Momoi decided to chime in then: "Listen to Hanamiya-kun. I believe he's right."
"Oh come on, Satsuki. The two of them can't beat the three of us for sure." Aomine's statement did piss Kuroko off a little despite him feeling the same way.
"Good boy, Tetsu-tan. Use that anger. Let's show them how scary the darkness can be." Makoto grinned and Kuroko couldn't help but feel every cell in his body speeding up, getting pumped for the game.
Momoi blew her whistle to signal the start of the game.
A twitch of Makoto's finger told Kuroko to disappear and head towards the left side of the court as Makoto faced Kise. Makoto glanced to the left which made Kise twitch towards that direction, ready to intercept any pass. Kuroko read that and went right instead and received a no-look pass from Makoto. Using vanishing drive to get past Aomine was easier than Kuroko thought it would be and a phantom shot sent the ball into the basket past Midorima's defence.
Huh. That was easier than he'd thought it would be. Just like that, they managed to get the first points.
"Oi Shin! We know all of Tetsu's skills! He shouldn't be getting past us this easily!"
"Speak for yourself, Ahomine! You let him get past you too!"
"Calm down you two. This is just the beginning!" You know it's bad when Kise was the one playing mediator. "Let's run it down, Shintarou-cchi!"
Midorima lobbed the ball over to Kise who was still being marked by Makoto and the two proceeded to have a one on one, Kise trying to get past Makoto's defence and closer to the net. Kuroko just focused on marking Aomine making sure to keep low and out of the other's sight as much as he could.
"I can still see you, Tetsu. I've been playing with you for years now. Don't think that you can disappear that easily on me!"
"That's not what I'm trying to do, Daiki-kun." Kuroko didn't manage to hold in his smirk. Lower and lower he went until it finally happened – Aomine tried to get out of his mark and tripped over Kuroko's feet while changing direction. Kuroko was pleased, this being the first time he tried this move on someone other than Makoto. Kise had sent the ball towards Aomine too, thinking that the other would get out of Kuroko's defence thus leading to Kuroko with possession of the ball after Aomine sprawled onto the ground.
"What the fuck was that?!"
"I guess you just got clumsy and tripped, Daiki-kun." Kuorko replied with an innocent look sending Makoto into peals of laughter. "Looks like you're not the only one who can trip you."
Midorima's ringing laughter brought a smile to Kuroko's face. He turned to Kise and saw the expression mirrored on the other. Kuroko really loved seeing his Teiko teammates enjoying the game once more.
"God I love seeing you use that move, Tetsu-tan." Makoto's eyes twinkled, fingers wriggling asking for the ball. Kuroko sent an easy bounce pass over, past a baffled Aomine, leading to Makoto scoring another basket. As Makoto jogged over, the other held out a low-five which Kuroko returned enthusiastically.
He was having fun. So much fun. He never thought he'd have so much fun playing with the captain of Kirisaki Daiichi – the team that utilise foul play to win games. So many things had changed for him that year but he was thankful and very pleased with life at it was right now.
"Ryouta." Midorima called and Kise quickly passed the ball over, which led to Midorima shooting a three from mid-court to close up the score.
"Oh come on, Green! No using your desperate threes from mid-court in a friendly match!" Makoto complained.
"They're not desperate! That was skill!"
"They're desperate when you use them in a friendly match, idiot." Midorima glared so hard at Makoto, Kuroko took the chance to dribble past him without effort. Aomine came to block him and Kuroko knew there was no getting past the other this time. He noticed Makoto's minute smirk and fingers twitching and knew what he had to do.
Kuroko moved into his three-point shot formation despite being at the half-court line.
"What?! No way." Came Midorima's indignant cry.
Yeah. There was no way Kuroko could make this shot. He was no Midorima.
But they didn't need to know that.
"Daiki-cchi! Defend!" Kise quickly called out and Aomine prepared to jump, learning from Midorima's mistake of not defending Kuroko from the Shuutoku-Seirin match.
Kuroko released the ball. Aomine intercepted the shot effortlessly and brought it down into his possession.
Aomine had a shark-like grin as he taunted "You can't shoot past me, Tetsu-"
"Oh shit! Daiki-cchi!" Kise called out but it was too late. Hanamiya was in position by then to steal the ball from behind Aomine. It was all going according to plan. Having better control of the ball than Kuroko, Makoto managed to dribble down to the paint, exchange a couple of passes with Kuroko to mess up the switch in defence, and shoot a textbook teardrop into the hoop furthering the lead they had.
"God damn it! Do you two discuss sneaky basketball maneuvers in your free time or something?!" Aomine groaned in frustration after having the ball stolen from him.
"How in the world did you two manage to coordinate that?!" Midorima too was impressed.
"See! I told you! Hanamiya-cchi's shot calling is amazing!"
Kuroko laughed at the others' exasperation and noticed from the corner of his eye that Makoto was smiling at him. A real smile which made Kuroko feel warm all over.
In the next play, Aomine managed to be fueled by exasperation and dunked a basket over Kuroko's defence. Midorima blocked Hanamiya's next shot which led to a turnover that caused Kise to score his first basket. Kuroko turned the next play into a real three-pointer and shot over Midorima again who complaied that Kuroko's threes were harder to defend because his stance made no sense.
The scores were surprisingly even despite Kuroko's belief that they would have no chance against three miracles, two of which who could go into Zone.
On another note, why hadn't Kise and Aomine gone into Zone yet?
Ahh… So this was Makoto's plan all along. Right. His genius boyfriend must have known how little of a threat the two of them were. Adding Midorima into the other team made sure that the scales were so tilted that Kise and Aomine would not have the drive necessary to get into Zone. It was a psychological manipulation that Momoi must have realised from the start.
"Tetsu-tan." Makoto signalled with a bob of his head and a glance upwards which made Kuroko snigger internally at the call. Aomine was still defending him which was a perfect time to do something like that.
Makoto managed to steal the ball from Midorima and quickly ran it down to the other end. Kise came up to defend thus halting the other from reaching the painted area. Aomine was defending Kuroko, stopping him from getting anywhere that he would be able to shoot from. The only possible play here would be if Kuroko could do a layup or a dunk.
"Makoto!" Kuroko called with a finger pointed towards the ground and Makoto passed a bounce pass over to him. Aomine saw the gesture and was in ready position to defend once Kuroko had gotten the ball. Kuroko made sure to glance all over the court in an obvious manner to signal to Aomine that he was looking for possible places to pass to Makoto for a shot. Makoto was being defended closely by both Kise and Midorima, making any plays highly impossible.
When time started to run out, Aomine's face morphed into a smirk, thinking that Kuroko was trapped in a corner with no moves left – only running straight up at Aomine to try for a dunk was the last possibility.
Which was what Kuroko did.
"No fucking way!" Aomine growled out in shock but continued to defend Kuroko as Kuroko dribbled forward, pretended to spin around and jumped upwards just as he got under the net to attempt a dunk.
He heard Midorima's and Kise's calls of "A layup?!" and "Impossible!" and "Shit Tetsuya wasn't kidding about dunking!"
Well, he was a misdirection expert and a passing specialist. No one should ever forget that.
Slamming a hard pass against the backboard, the ball flew backwards to exactly where Makoto had positioned himself. The raven was already in a stance, ready to shoot when the ball landed perfectly into his palms, his defenders none the wiser. Effortlessly, Makoto shot from a comfortable spot thus sinking in the last shot of the game.
Momoi blew the whistle, they had won by a small margin.
Amidst the flabbergasted looks, Makoto laughed freely as he jogged over to Kuroko for a low-five.
"Fuck, Tetsu-tan! Look at their faces!"
"It was a good call, Mako-tan. We really threw them off."
"God damn, you make me enjoy this so much." Kuroko was surprised to hear that from Makoto who seemed as surprised to have said such a thing.
"I love playing with you too, Mako-tan." Kuroko said with sincerity which caused his boyfriend to scoff at the display of honesty. Makoto was allergic to feelings in public after all.
"Shit. I can't believe we fell for that." Kise groaned.
"I mean, he did mention he could dunk. How were we supposed to know if it was real or not? If I didn't even bother to defend him it would have been a 'Midorima' all over again."
"Oi, don't name your uselessness after me!"
"Nobody's going to forget your failure to defend Tetsu during that three-point shot any time soon, Shin." Aomine continued to taunt. "And besides, you two were the ones who didn't defend Hanamiya from scoring!"
"But Tetsuya-cchi jumped so high! I didn't want to miss seeing his first dunk or layup or whatever that was going to happen!" Kise whined.
"Alright you three, that's enough. Be good sports and thank each other for the game."
As Makoto took position by his side and they exchanged bows for the game, Kuroko couldn't hide the small smile on his face for the remainder of the day. Even after they left the court for dinner, he was still in high spirits.
He didn't need to be anything – not a shadow, not a light, not a shotcaller, not a leader. With Makoto around, he really could just enjoy, have fun, and try whatever he could think of. Kuroko didn't realise it until now that his form of basketball was lacking a freedom that it now had.
"Get ready to get your ass handed back to you next week, Hanamiya! You'd better come on time!" Aomine called out as they separated ways.
"Bye Tetsuya-cchi! Bye Hanamiya-cchi! Catch y'all next week!" Kise waved enthusiastically with an arm slung around Midorima who had given up shrugging the blond off.
"I'm glad to see you so happy, Tetsu-kun." Momoi gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "See you next week! Till then, take care of him, Hanamiya-kun."
"Tch. You don't have to tell me that." Makoto scoffed but pulled Kuroko closer by the waist.
As they were walking back to Makoto's apartment, Kuroko brought up the fact that he was happy to see his boyfriend being accepted by his closest friends.
"Don't bundle me up with your bunch of colour pencils." Makoto frowned.
"You know, Mako-tan, colour pencils come in black too."
"Shut up." Makoto rolled his eyes and Kuroko laughed.
That night Kuroko sent a text out:
'Image of Kuroko in mid-air attempting a dunk, everyone's face in shock, taken by Satsuki-chan. Makoto and I played against those three today. We won by a little but it was probably because we caught them off guard. My misdirection works better with Makoto's scheming mind. – Kuroko.'
After brushing his teeth to get ready for bed, he received a reply:
'Seems like everyone is getting along well with your psychotic spider! Damn, I wish I could have seen that in real life. Ask Momoi to take videos for me next time. – Kagami-kun.'
Kuroko replied:
'Makoto calls them my 'colour pencil friends' so I told him that colour pencils come in black as well. He was not impressed to be grouped together with the likes of Ryouta-kun and Daiki-kun. – Kuroko.'
Almost immediately his phone pinged again.
'Tell your black-headed boyfriend that the next time I'm back, he owes me a match. I look forward to playing against both you and him on the same team. Seems like you two are a chaotic, psychotic force to be reckoned with when together. – Kagami-kun.'
'Looking forward to that too. – Kuroko.'
After the last reply, Makoto had stolen his phone and tossed it onto the bedside table, then proceeded to ravish Kuroko from all the pent up hunger stored up from the amazing game that day. Kuroko's heart felt full of the love from his friends and his boyfriend.
"That's not the only thing you should be feeling full of." Came Makoto's snark comment.
"Shut up, Mako-tan." Kuroko shook his head in exasperation and proceeded to sink into the other's embrace.
"That's not the only thing you will be sinking into-"
"Shut up, Mako-tan."
Extra Fuzzy Epilogue
It was the Christmas season and Makoto was scheduled for a trip to Osaka to spend the holiday with his family. Kuroko's own family didn't tend to celebrate Christmas so here he was in their empty apartment, alone for the weekend.
Or so that was the plan.
Kise, after hearing from Kasamatsu that Kuroko was going to be spending the Christmas weekend alone, gathered the rest of the Miracles for a party. Akashi and Murasakibara had specially planned their trip to Tokyo upon Kise's invitation. At first, Kise was planning to host the party at his apartment but the Lardlord had specifically placed a notice for all tenents to avoid large group gatherings and loud noises over the weekend. Akashi had volunteered his family home in Kyoto but both Momoi and Kuroko were reluctant to travel out of Tokyo.
In the end, Kuroko decided check with Makoto if they could use the Spider's apartment for the party.
"You don't have to ask me, idiot. Your shit takes up as much space as mine here. Do whatever you want." Was Makoto's reply which Kuroko translated as "this is my home as much as it is yours, love." When Makoto proceeded to pass him a set of keys to the house, Kuroko demonstrated his delight by utilising as many areas of said house to thank his boyfriend.
"Seijuro-kun is coming, you know that right?" Kuroko decided to mention just in case Makoto had missed out the fact that his 'rival' would be here while Makoto was away.
"Who's Seijuro?" was Hanamiya's reply and Kuroko gave him a glare. "Ohhh you mean small red? As long as he keeps his twitchy lips and sneaky fingers to himself, I don't see any issues."
Makoto's nonchalant attitude was highly suspicious. "Seijuro-kun is probably going to take the chance while you're away to twitch his lips and sneak his fingers in ways you wouldn't approve of." Kuroko challenged.
Makoto shrugged. "It's going to be fine. Satsuki will give me periodic updates anyway. I'll make sure he doesn't try anything stupid in my own home while I'm away."
Kuroko locked his gaze on Makoto trying to get a read on his boyfriend's plans. Makoto and Momoi's relationship was getting too close for his comfort in the same way one would feel placing a lighted match next to a pile of explosives. The two schemed way too often and the Miracles often found themselves at the mercies of each plot. Chaos followed each time they worked together and Kuroko feared whatever plan the two had schemed while Makoto was away.
On a lighter note, he was going to meet up with Kise and Midorima to buy some ingredients for the party later and after that they would help with decorating the place to make it a little more festive.
"I'm heading out!" Kuroko called out and gave his boyfriend a peck on the cheek before hurrying to the door. "I'll see you when you're back? Drop me a text when you get on the train to Osaka, alright? Have a safe trip."
"Tch, don't be a mother."
"I'm merely making sure I always know where my boyfriend is, Mako-tan." Hanamiya's blush was always a treat to see.
"You're an idiot." Makoto mumbled.
"And I love you too."
"Oi, Tetsuya." Kuroko spun around at Makoto's call only for a scarf to be draped around his neck. More accurately, Makoto's green scarf that was used every time the raven left the house. "Don't get cold."
Stupidly happy being surrounded by Makoto's scent, Kuroko waved a goodbye to his boyfriend and left before the other decided to kidnap him to Osaka. Possessive Makoto was a cute Makoto. It has been more than half a year since the two of them became official. Since the two of them were rather close even before that, all their friends and teammates took in it stride and accepted the couple rather seamlessly. Seirin was a little more wary at first, but Kirisaki Daiichi was quick to adopt Kuroko into their folds.
Even the Miracles had accepted Makoto's presence readily. All except for Akashi, who still demonstrated his intentions towards Kuroko every now and then. Kuroko knew the red head was probably doing it out of sheer stubbornness and partially just to irritate Hanamiya. Hanamiya, however, didn't care what Akashi's motivation was, he just wanted the other to 'fuck off'. To see Makoto readily allowing Akashi to grace their apartment tonight was quite suspicious to Kuroko but he didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Also, Kuroko had learnt that it was rather impossible to stop any of Makoto's plans. Even more so when Momoi was in the know. Whatever they had schemed for the weekend was bound to happen whether Kuroko interfered or not.
Once again, that duo scared him.
Grocery shopping with Midorima and Kise turned out to be really efficient seeing Kise wanted to get out of the public eye as quick as possible, and Midorima's lucky item of the day was a huge wreath of mistletoes that took a lot of effort to carry around. Luckily, they bumped into Takao Kazunari and his rickshaw on the way back to Makoto's place and the point guard offered to give them a lift.
Naturally, Takao self-invited himself to the party.
The four of them made quick work decorating the place. The rooms were out of bounds but the kitchen, living room, corridor and balcony were free game. Baubles and tinsel lined the door ways and there was hardly much space to put anything else. After, Midorima and Takao offered to cook some finger food while Kise and Kuroko argued about hanging up Midorima's lucky item.
"It's mistletoe! It's perfect for Christmas! We have to hang it, Tetsuya-cchi!" Kise begged. After much back and forth, Kuroko finally relented and allowed Kise to put it up in an out of the way spot slightly to the left of the front door. Makoto did mention that Aquarius had good luck while Sagittarius had the second worst luck for today so Kuroko decided it would be okay to take his chances with the stupid mistletoe.
Makoto had also sent in a text to say that he had boarded the train to Osaka.
'I'm on the train. Try to have fun without me tonight. – Mako-tan.'
Half an hour before the scheduled time, Aomine and Momoi arrived with some dessert wine and sake in hand.
"We're still underaged, Daiki-kun." Kuroko frowned disapprovingly.
"Yeah? But who's gonna know?" Aomine smirked back, placing the alcohol into the fridge to keep it chilled. Momoi had a smile on her face and didn't comment which should have been Kuroko's first hint that something was bound to happen.
"I'm so glad we finally get to spend some alone time with you, Tetsu. That spider of yours has been hanging around us and hogging you way too often." Aomine plopped onto the couch, leaning all his weight on Kise who didn't mind it at all.
"Yeah, we like Hanamiya-cchi but sometimes we want to monopolise your time too." Kise readily agreed.
"Oh? Is that a mistletoe?" Momoi moved over to inspect the wreath.
"Yeah! You never know what might happen in a party, right? It's going to be fun!" Kise enthused. Momoi just smiled that smile again – that should have been Kuroko's second hint.
"You're right Ryou-kun! Anything can happen! Let's get this party started! Tetsu-kun, turn on some music, won't you?" Momoi's expression didn't change one bit. Kuroko gave her a look filled with suspicion but complied anyway.
"Oi, come and get some food to eat. Takao and I are just done with the cooking." Midorima brought a couple of trays of food out from the kitchen and Takao had more in his arms.
"What's he doing here?" Aomine glared at the non-Miracle but was kicked in the shin almost immediately by Kuroko.
"We're all here to enjoy ourselves, Daiki-kun. Takao-kun has graciously helped us with preparation and is welcomed to join us." Kuroko dared anyone to challenge him. This was his house after all.
"Fine. Oi, Takao! You know that move you used against Wakamatsu in our last match together? What the hell was that about, man?" Aomine called out as everyone moved towards the dining table to grab some food.
"Woah! Thanks for noticing! Kuroko-chan and I worked on that for weeks!"
"That's right." Kuroko chimed in. "Wakamatsu-san is very quick so we decided that adding more changes in directions and breaks would throw him off a little more."
"That Sakurai Ryou of yours was giving our Shin-chan quite some problems during that match as well." Takao continued and just like that, basketball became the central topic as they continued with dinner.
Some time later, the doorbell rang causing all conversation to stop.
"Didn't you say that Seijuro-cchi and Atsushi-cchi just arrived in Tokyo? That can't possibly be them, right?" Kise asked, as confused as everyone in the room was.
Except Momoi, of course. Kuroko was sharp enough to notice her face. It was the exact same expression Makoto would wear while one of his plans was waiting to unfold. Kuroko was practically ready for anything or anyone to appear behind the front door.
That was why when he went to open it, a smirking Imayoshi, Kasamatsu, and Otsubo didn't even surprise him one bit.
No wonder Makoto wasn't worried about tonight – he had arranged for backup.
"Yo, Tetsuya! We heard Makoto wasn't in town and decided to keep you company for the night!" Imayoshi's fake excited tone was practically familiar to Kuroko now with how often these three came over to drink with his boyfriend.
"Please come in, Imayoshi-kun. I was expecting you." Kuroko gave Momoi a look and noticed she was pouting at the lack of surprise from his end. Imayoshi gave him a nudge, Kasamatsu clapped his back, and Otsubo ruffled his hair as the three of them entered and settled into the apartment, clearly comfortable despite the tension in the air.
"I thought we were going to spend the weekend, Teiko style?" Kise whined. Kasamatsu immediately drove an elbow to the model's gut at the less that welcoming statement.
"Aren't you happy to see me, Kise? Oh look! Mistletoe!" Kasamatsu pointed upwards in fake surprise.
"What? NO! WAIT!"
"You know what they say about standing under the mistletoe, Kise. Come here and give senpai a kiss!"
"NOOOOO! WAIT, KASAMATSU-SENPAI! IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE THIS WAY." the blond was silenced by his senpai who walked away after the kiss, unshaken. Kuroko swore he saw Momoi had shoved a 5000 yen note into the ex-captain's open palm as Kasamatsu walked by.
"Daiki, where did you get this brand of Wine from? I really enjoy it." Imayoshi brought an empty bottle to Aomine.
"They were from my mum- Wait, what? OI, YOU FINISHED THE WINE?"
"Otsubo is a fast drinker. Between the two of us, three bottles weren't enough," Imayoshi shrugged. "But you mentioned your mum? You have to introduce us, Daiki, the wine was spectacular."
"We were meant to try that out together!" Aomine growled in frustration.
"Oh ho? But you're underaged aren't you? What would Makoto think of you guys, bringing alcohol and drinking with his underaged boyfriend while he was away? Tsk tsk, Daiki. You weren't planning on making our little Tetsuya tipsy and getting handsy, were you?" The Touou ex-captain teased and Aomine turned scarlet and started to splutter incoherent excuses.
"I'm not little." Tetsuya complained but his concerns went unacknowledged.
Later that night, Kuroko swore he saw Momoi and Imayoshi whispering at the back of the kitchen in private and he was almost a hundred percent sure Imayoshi was handed a similar 5000 yen note.
The doorbell rang again.
It was definitely not Akashi and Murasakibara. It had only been twenty minutes and it would take a minimum of an hour for them to drive from Tokyo station to this apartment.
Opening the door revealed the Kirisaki team this time. Kuroko had been expecting them for real.
"Hara-kun, Seto-kun, Yamazaki-kun, Furuhashi-kun. I've been expecting you." Kuroko repeated, gesturing for the team to enter.
"Tet-chan! We were afraid you'd get lonely without our overlord being around, so we decided to grace you with our company!" Hara's cheer placed a silly smile on Kuroko's face. Really, his boyfriend was way too protective, it was rather cute.
"Oh look. What is this? Oh hey, don't we have to do something?" Furuhashi, who was last to enter, pointed up at the wreath above after stepping into the apartment. Kise was out of position again.
"WAIT. NOOOOOOOO. THIS WASN'T MEANt TO HAPPEN." Furuhashi's dead expression as he pulled a resistant Kise in for a kiss was hilarious.
"You knew this was going to happen when you put that mistletoe up, Ryouta-kun." Kuroko reminded as he gave Kise a consolation pat on the head.
"Yeah but I thought it was just going to be us and I really wanted to kiss Tetsuya-cchi. WHO WAS THAT GUY ANYWAY?"
"Oh? You haven't met Furuhashi before? He's the forward in Kirisaki's team." Kuroko introduced the two and somehow the two started a conversation about mirrors and facial expressions for the night.
"Kuroko, by the way, have you seen the pink headed girl?" Furuhashi asked much later that night and Kuroko pointed him in Momoi's direction, not even bothering to watch the exchange of cash.
The party was in full swing by now. Hara had roped the Kirisaki members, Momoi, Midorima, and Takao in for a game of poker on the rug in front of the TV, with some chips that Seto had brought over. The ex-captains had taken over the balcony since they had their cigarettes out and were chatting over some beer that Otsubo had brought as per usual. Kise, Kuroko, and Aomine were squished on the couch, watching some NBA and the poker game that was going on.
"Hey Tet-chan come over for a moment." Imayoshi stepped back into the room, bringing the familiar smell of smoke into the house. "Hold on to this for me for a moment, will you? I need to go to the bathroom real quick." Imayoshi quickly passed a can of beer and a lighted cigarette over to Kuroko and rushed off to the toilet.
Kuroko shrugged thinking nothing of it since Makoto got him to hold the stick for him once in a while too while the other needed to free his hands. On hindsight, Kuroko should have expected Imayoshi to be as scheming as Makoto and Momoi.
The bell rang for the third time that night and really, no more surprises, it was Akashi and Murasakibara. Kuroko went to open the door, expertly manoeuvring both the can of beer and the stick onto one hand.
"Seijuro-kun, Atsushi-kun, we were expecting you. Come in." Kuroko gestured in invitation but both his Teiko teammates were stunned still at the door.
"What do you think you're doing, Tetsuya?" Akashi's slightly raised voice was an equivalent of an angry roar from Aomine.
"Why is Tetsu-chin smoking and drinking?" Murasakibara's tone showed great disapproval.
Damn it. What was it about Aquarius having good luck again?
"Let me explain, it's not mine." Kuroko quickly turned to see if Imayoshi was out of the toilet yet. With the ex-captain out of sight, it was hard to explain to the two standing outside the house about how a bunch of people had crashed the Teiko exclusive party. "Come in, I'll explain once you guys settle down."
As he moved out of the way to encourage the two to come in, Akashi quickly dodged past and situated himself slightly away from the doorway which then led to the next crisis.
"I believe that we're standing under a Christmas tradition, Tetsuya. Also, I believe it would be a reliable way to test if you have been smoking and drinking or not." Akashi's eye crinkled with mirth.
Damn you, Kise.
Damn you, Mistletoe.
Akashi took hold of the front of Kuroko's shirt to pull him in when suddenly, a bubble gum was shoved into Kuroko's mouth and he was shoved slightly backwards. He was also greeted by the sight of Hara kissing Akashi full on, the redhead's stunned expression was one he knew Makoto would have enjoyed immensely.
"Mou, it's rude to kiss someone while you stink of smoke and booze, don't you know, Tet-chan? Don't worry, chew that gum for me and your breath will be minty-fresh in no time. You're lucky I saved you from Tet-chan's horrid breath huh, Rakuzan's captain?" Hara's cheerful voice threw everyone off for a moment, majority of the room still too shocked with what just happened. "Come now, Tet-chan. Imayoshi is back from the bathroom and he's looking for his stuff." Kuroko was the quickly steered away from the newcomers.
"Run, Hara-kun." Kuroko whispered once they were at the balcony.
"You don't have to tell me twice. I'll need to find that chick first before I make a run for it."
"The money's not worth it. Your life is worth so much more than that." Kuroko urged urgently.
"Last I saw her, she was in the kitchen. You can head over there quickly and climb out through the back window." Imayoshi directed with a serious look and Hara replied with a serious nod of his head then he quickly disappeared after a few gestures towards his Kirisaki teammates. It seems like the cock-blocking torch had been passed to Seto who proceeded to pull out a tub of gel to slick his hair back, serious mode on.
"That man was a great teammate. The most loyal if I've ever seen one." Kasamatsu faked a sob as they proceeded to remain silent for a minute as a sign of respect to the dead-man walking.
"Anyway, please take these back, Imayoshi-kun. I need to do some damage control now." Kuroko handed the beer and cigarette over.
"Please watch where you're going, Tetsuya. Makoto is getting poorer each minute. It shouldn't be that difficult to avoid one stupid plant in Makoto's apartment." The three ex-captains laughed and continued with their usual line of conversation.
Kuroko hurried back in and noticed Midorima had intercepted Akashi and was explaining the current situation.
"There he is. He can explain for himself." Was what Kuroko heard before a small stack of post-its were pressed into his palm and Midorima disappeared back to Takao's side. Midorima's message was received loud and clear: "you'll need your lucky item for this conversation. Good luck."
Alternatively, if Izuki Shun was around he would have said something along the lines of "hope everyone leaves on a good note."
Puns aside, Kuroko needed to calm his captain down.
"Seijuro-kun. I apologise for that unexpected welcome." Kuroko started.
"It seems like your friends decided to crash our party." Akashi's smile was plastered on and 100 percent fake. "I thought we were going to spend some quality bonding time just the seven of us this Christmas, Tetsuya?"
"Believe me, it was out of my control. They heard that Makoto was out of town and decided to come anyway because they didn't want me to be lonely."
"How nice of them. Especially that lilac coloured hair one. So very polite. I would love to meet him." Akashi's intonation was all over the place and Kuroko knew the redhead was one step from a killing spree and that he had to take action.
"Come on, Seijuro-kun. We can still spend some quality time. Ryouta-kun and Daiki-kun have possession of the couch and we can catch up there." Kuroko tugged Akashi towards the couch after gesturing for Murasakibara to head towards the dinner spread. Kuroko plopped back onto the couch, tugging Akashi to squeeze in between him and Kise. Some harmless cuddling ought to quell the fire that was burning in Akashi.
Indeed, it did. Akashi snuggled against his side for majority of the night before moving off the explore the other groups of people. The redhead managed to win a huge sum of money off the Kirisaki members in a poker game (in revenge for the stolen kiss) before walking away after everyone had gone bankrupt. After that, Kuroko brought him out to the balcony to converse with the rest of the captains. They spoke about politics and matched Akashi in maturity and knowledge so much so that the redhead had enjoyed himself and was left in a good mood.
Being dragged around bodily and spending majority of the night next to Akashi was a worthy trade off in the end. Kuroko highly suspected that Akashi just wanted a friend like Kuroko, who didn't give in to every call and fancy of his, by his side and that Akashi's affections were more platonic than romantic.
But that was really up to the Emperor to realise.
In fact, Akashi probably already knew and was just probably making the most out of Kuroko's misplaced guilt of rejecting the redhead.
Probably.
Kuroko sighed. Damn all these manipulative assholes. Well, at least living with one taught him how to handle situations like these.
He was missing Makoto very much by now.
When the food was all gone and it was getting late, the guests decided it was time to retire for the night.
"Thanks for letting us crash, Kuroko!" Kasamatsu clapped him on the back and proceeded to leave the apartment. Kuroko made sure to stand far, far away from the kiss-trap and positioned himself on the opposite side of the door while seeing the guests off.
"Yeah thanks for the booze! That was some good wine." Otsubo was the next to leave.
"Once again, YOU GUYS WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK THAT!" Aomine complained but was dragged out along with his ex-captain who continued to playfully tease him about taking advantage of innocent little phantoms. "Catch you tomorrow on the court, Tetsu! Oi, Satsuki, are you coming?"
"I'll be out in a while, Dai-chan! Wait outside!"
"Good night, Tetsuya-cchi! Have a Merry Christmas! If you're feeling lonely call me! But till then, I'll see you tomorrow!" Kise gave Kuroko the biggest bear hug and skipped after Kasamatsu. The two continued on their conversation on basketball and other clubs in University as they made their way home together.
The Kirisaki group was next.
"We'll be back when the captain gets back." Seto announced.
"Please tell Hara to hide till the end of the weekend."
"He's probably out of town by now." Seto shrugged. "He'll be fine. We'll catch you again soon, Tetsuya." Seto ruffled his hair as the rest of the team filtered out, lazily waving a goodbye.
Murasakibara was next and the purple-haired giant gave Kuroko a tight squeeze. "Sei-chin and I booked a hotel room just a few stops from here. It'll just be a short ride back for us."
"Atsushi-kun, I can't breathe."
"Sorry, Tet-chin. See you tomorrow." One last squeeze and Murasakibara was out the door, waiting just outside for their captain.
"Tetsuya."
"Seijuro-kun. Thank you for coming tonight." Kuroko returned Akashi's smile. The redhead proceeded to pull him in for a hug and a peck on the cheek. Akashi smelled really, really familiar and it almost made Kuroko snort out loud.
"I'll see you tomorrow then, Tetsuya."
"Hey, Seijuro-kun?" Kuroko stopped before the other could leave.
"Yes?"
"I think you misplaced something."
"Oh?" Kuroko was not buying Akashi's innocent look. Arms crossed, he decided to wait it out like he would when dealing with a three-year-old child. Kuroko knew he couldn't be wrong – Makoto's smell was clinging onto Akashi for sure.
"Oh it seems that I might have mistakenly taken the wrong scarf. Be a dear and help me fetch mine, won't you, Tetsuya?" Akashi's innocent act continued as he pulled out Makoto's green scarf from inside of his coat and handed it back to Kuroko.
"Please tell me it's not in the bedroom." Kuroko dearly hoped that Akashi didn't go into Makoto's bedroom. Makoto would raise hell if the other did.
"Would I do such a thing, Tetsuya?"
With a glare, Kuroko replied "Yes."
Akashi's eyes twinkled with mirth. "You're being silly, Tetsuya. It's hanging behind the front door." Conveniently where the mistletoe was located at.
Kuroko continued to stare at Akashi's stupid grinning face, unwilling to fall for the trap. Neither of them were willing to budge for a while.
"Hey guys! What's the hold up? Oh! Akashi-kun's scarf? I'll get it!" Kuroko's saviour came in the form of Takao Kazunari. "Shin-chan! Wanna come with me to get Akashi's scarf?"
"Don't be stupid! I won't fall for such an obvious trap!" grouched Midorima. Kuroko caught Akashi's eye twitching at the indirect burn caused by Midorima of all people.
"Here you go, Akashi-kun! Have a good weekend!" Takao quickly handed the scarf over and waved a goodbye to Akashi.
Eyes still twitching, Akashi said a quick goodbye: "I'll see you tomorrow then, Tetsuya. Thank you for having us over." Akashi nodded and retreated, this time with the correct scarf in hand. Outside, Kuroko heard a 'Silly Sei-chin' coming from Murasakibara. Perhaps after being slighted by both Midorima and Murasakibara, Akashi would stop his advances on Kuroko.
Perhaps.
Without words, Takao raised an open palm towards Kuroko. Kuroko sighed.
"Satsuki-chan." Tetsuya called and all of a sudden the pinked haired appeared from behind Kuroko to press a 5000 yen note into Takao's palm. "How did you get roped into this too?"
Takao raised a brow and grinned. "I didn't. I just noticed what was going on through the night and thought I'd make some spare cash, ya know?"
"What's going on?" Midorima asked, confused. Kuroko sighed, Takao smirked and Momoi giggled.
"It's okay, Shin-chan. You don't have to worry about it. We've all got it covered. Come on! Let's get going!" Takao exited after a quick goodbye.
"Catch you tomorrow, Tetsuya." Midorima gave a pat to Kuroko's head.
"Thank you for the lucky item, Shintarou-kun. It was great help."
"Hmmm. Seijuro really shouldn't have tried his luck today. It wasn't in his favour after all." Were Midroima's parting words as they left.
"Thank you for your help today, Satsuki-chan." Kuroko turned to the last guest in the apartment and pull her in for a grateful hug.
"No worries, Tetsu-kun. Makoto-kun will settle the bill after all." She smiled, snuggling into his warmth.
"Daiki-kun is probably freezing outside, waiting for you. I'll catch you tomorrow then?"
"Tomorrow, and the week after, and whenever, Tetsu-kun." She smiled.
He returned the smile, feeling warm and fuzzy from the family that has returned to him.
"Hai. See you real soon then."
Later that night, Makoto called him just before he was about to fall asleep.
"I really enjoyed family time tonight, Makoto. I wished you were here with us." Kuroko began.
"Oh? Even with all the gate-crashers?"
Kuroko hugged Makoto's pillow closer. "They're Mako-tan's family. Thus, family time. Wished you were here."
There was a short pause on the phone before Makoto's unguarded chuckle wafted through the line.
Warmth blossomed in his heart and Kuroko was rather sure this was how love was supposed to feel. Not through big gestures, but silly little precious moments and genuine words. There was silence as Kuroko drifted in happy feelings and sleepiness, surrounded by Makoto's smell despite the other being away.
"Merry Christmas, my Tetsu-tan." Makoto's deep, soft, tender voice was the last thing Kuroko registered before drifting off.
He barely remembered saying "Love you too, Mako-tan." but it was okay, there will be lots more to come.
END.
A/N: THAT'S IT!
Legit cried after I finished the last dialogue in this chapter because this is my first ever multi-fic story ever completed. I realised that I have issues with finishing works so I started doing one-shots, then two-shots, then two in a series, and finally this giant more than 50k words fiction.
More importantly, really hope to add to the collection of KNB fics that are available to read. Thank you for the support and kind encouraging comments! they really spur me to continue and I re-read comments like it's a lifeline on days that I have no motivation to do anything production.
Ideas for the next fic has started to pop. Stay tuned, stay connected, stay safe! See yall next fic. WOOHOO!