Xue Yang wakes to the steady sound of raindrops hitting the window pane. He lies snug under his blanket, pressed against a firm pillow that feels nicely warm under his cheek, even if it tickles a little.
Wait a second. Why would his pillow tickle?
Xue Yang pulls back a little and realizes that what he took for a pillow is actually Xiao Xingchen's arm, and the thing tickling him the hair at the end of the cultivator's braid, which got caught between the two of them.
Moreover, he has his own arm thrown over Xiao Xingchen's chest, which is rising in even, deep breaths, indicating that the man is still sound asleep, unbothered by any bad dreams. That's a relief; Xue Yang definitely doesn't want him waking and panicking like the last time they were in a similar position.
Xue Yang slowly pulls away, removing his arm in the process. When he does it, Xiao Xingchen stirs a little and then turns to his side so he's facing Xue Yang. They're so close that Xue Yang can feel the other man's breath caressing his cheek.
"Hey," he says a little sheepishly, his throat suddenly feeling very dry.
"What's that sound," the cultivator murmurs drowsily.
"What sound," Xue Yang asks in confusion, and his face heats up a bit. He is aware that Xiao Xingchen's other senses are compensating for his blindness, but his hearing can't be sharp enough to pick up the frantic beating of Xue Yang's heart, can it?
Then there's a buzz of the doorbell. Only when he hears it does Xue Yang realize that Xiao Xingchen meant this, and that it was this sound that woke him a moment ago, and not the rain.
"Someone's at the door. I'll go check it out," he tells Xiao Xingchen and gets up. He really hopes it's not the police. As suspicious happenings seem to follow them wherever they go, it's becoming an unnervingly likely possibility.
He takes his phone from the nightstand and takes a look at it while already moving in the direction of the hall. It turns out that it's not yet eight in the morning and he's already got two missed calls from Jin Guangyao, which makes him breathe out a sigh of relief.
No police, just good old Jiggy.
Another buzz.
"Coming," he shouts out and pads over to the door just like he is, wearing a ratty T-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts.
"Finally! Why don't you answer your phone," Jin Guangyao snaps in lieu of greeting. There are dark circles around his eyes and he looks generally worse for wear. It seems like he had one hell of a weekend.
"I always turn it off for the night," Xue Yang replies matter-of-factly and steps inside the hall, beckoning for the doctor to follow him.
"I wish I had the same luxury," Jin Guangyao sighs as he removes his shoes. "And your other phone? What's the point of having two phones when you don't answer either one of them?" he asks waspishly. He seems to be in a real mood today.
"The battery's probably dead," Xue Yang says with a shrug and goes into the kitchen alcove to turn on the kettle. "Sorry 'bout that but didn'ya tell me yesterday that you're gonna be busy this whole week and only take us for the exam Friday afternoon or something?"
"I know I said that," Guangyao replies, now sounding just tired. "I completely forgot I'd be driving Rusong to physiotherapy this morning. It's right at the clinic. At first he demanded my presence but now that he's got used to Miss Liang, I can leave him there and take you for the MRI scan."
"Oh. That's awesome. But we're not exactly ready–"
"I can see that," Jin Guangyao says drily with a pointed look at Xue Yang's attire, before shifting his gaze in the direction of the sofa bed. Both of his eyebrows shoot up when his eyes fall on Xiao Xingchen who has dozed off again in the meantime, and is just now starting to show signs of waking.
"You two sleep in the same bed?" he whispers incredulously.
"It's not like I've got any more beds in here," Xue Yang snaps, feeling a little nettled at this. Who exactly does Jiggy think he is, barging in his place and judging him like that?
Jin Guangyao seems to realize he has overstepped, because he arranges his features into an apologetic smile.
"Of course. I left Rusong alone in the car so I'd better go back there. Do try to hurry up, please."
"We'll be there in five," Xue Yang assures the doctor and walks him to the door. He gives the kettle a mournful look, mentally saying goodbye to his morning coffee, before he realizes that he owns a thermos flask.
He's in the process of rummaging his cupboards for it when Xiao Xingchen asks, in a voice that is still hoarse from sleep, "Was that Jin Guangyao?"
"Yeah. I told you he wants you to undergo some sort of medical exam, right? It seems we can do it today, apparently. Like, right now. He's waiting for us in the car so we've gotta hurry."
"Of course," Xiao Xingchen agrees, sounding fully alert now.
Xue Yang can hear clothes rustling behind him as he places the coffee-filled thermos flask into his backpack, together with two cream-filled croissants. Then, realizing that Xiao Xingchen probably wouldn't like those, he takes two apples as well.
…
When they approach Jin Guangyaoʼs car, a white Honda Civic, Xue Yang can hear some cheery kids' song through the closed windows, and sees Jin Rusong bobbing his head to the rhythm, his thick glasses moving up and down his slightly upturned nose.
When they get in the car, with Xue Yang riding shotgun and Xiao Xingchen sitting next to Rusong in the back, Jin Guangyao immediately changes the music to some jazzy tune.
They're not yet out of Xue Yang's apartment block before Rusong starts to cry.
"I want my songs! Not papa's boring ones!" he whines, screwing his little face into an unhappy grimace.
"The kid's right about your music being boring, you know," Xue Yang comments snidely, as the boy continues to wail, "I want! I want!"
"Not you too, Chengmei," Jin Guangyao snaps as they finally join the line of cars slowly moving in the direction of the city center. "A-Song, we've got company. Now is not the time for this."
"It's alright. We won't mind," Xiao Xingchen says as Rusong's cries grow increasingly louder.
With a long suffering sigh, Jin Guangyao reaches out to his radio and the jazz turns into The Wheels on the Bus. The boy immediately quiets down, and soon starts to smile and bob his head to the rhythm, just like Xue Yang saw him doing earlier. The song is followed by Baby Shark, If You're Happy and You Know It, and, quite fittingly, Wash Your Hands. Then the brief playlist begins to play over.
When the wheels on the bus go around for the third time, Xiao Xingchen starts to hum along.
"I'm really sorry about this," Jin Guangyao tells them with a pained grimace. Xue Yang can see his fingers anxiously drumming against the steering wheel.
"I gotta admit it's not exactly my genre, but we're cool, ain't we, Little Starfish?" Xue Yang says with a lopsided grin.
"These are some nice, cheerful songs," Xiao Xingchen agrees.
"For the first fifty times or so, maybe," Jin Guangyao mutters darkly.
They drive without any incidents for a while, before they get stuck in traffic for several minutes, and Rusong starts to cry again.
"We're late, papa. I wanna be with big sister Liang now!"
"I know, A-Song, but there's nothing I can do about it right now. We have to wait for the cars in front of us to move first," Guangyao explains patiently, but his son is obviously not satisfied, as he starts to shriek and kick the seat in front of him.
"A-Song, right?" Xiao Xingchen asks soothingly just when Jin Guangyao looks ready to snap. "Do you want to see something interesting?"
"'Mkay," the child sobs, for the first time properly noticing the bespectacled stranger sitting next to him. Anyone else might be disconcerted by the way Rusong avoids direct eye contact, instead focusing on a spot somewhere above Xiao Xingchen's head, but the cultivator of course cannot see it.
Looking in the rear-view mirror, Xue Yang watches Xiao Xingchen take out his pouch from the pocket of his – formerly Xue Yang's – soft shell jacket and show it to Rusong, only barely managing to keep it out of the boy's grubby hands.
Xue Yang frowns, because this doesn't seem like a very good idea. Apart from the sword, this pouch is the only thing Xiao Xingchen has left from his old life. Plus it probably contains magical objects, like the talisman Xue Yang saw the cultivator throw at Mrs. Fang.
"I don't think you should give it to him," he says out loud but Xiao Xingchen ignores him.
"Would you like to see a magic trick?" the cultivator addresses the boy.
"Yes!" Rusong agrees excitedly.
Xiao Xingchen unties the pouch, and proceeds to take out an oil paper umbrella that is at least three times the size of the bag, which should of course be physically impossible.
"Show me again! Show me again!" Rusong demands and Xue Yang feels like joining him.
"What's going on in there," Jin Guangyao asks a little nervously while keeping his eyes on the road in front of him. They're finally moving again, if at a sluggish pace.
"Little Starfish's got a bag that's bigger on the inside than on the outside. It's some serious Harry Potter stuff!" Xue Yang exclaims, also unable to hold back his excitement, even though he feels a little offended that Xiao Xingchen has been keeping this secret from him. Well, he supposes the flying sword is even cooler, and he's been able to see that, so that's something.
"Chengmei. Could at least you please stop shouting? I've got a terrible headache," Jin Guangyao grits out through his teeth.
Huh. So that's why he's in such a temper, Xue Yang thinks while he keeps watching Xiao Xingchen put the paper umbrella in and out of his pouch. The cultivator ends up having to repeat his 'magic trick' seven more times, and is only allowed to put the pouch away when they pass under a railway bridge, and Rusong starts to shout, "Train! Train! Look, look, papa, train!"
After his father confirms that yes, indeed, that was a train, I saw it, you don't need to repeat it, A-Song, Rusong launches into a monologue that is mostly incomprehensible due to his considerable lisp, but seems to revolve around the various trains he's seen during his short life.
"Trains are his favorite thing in the whole world," Jin Guangyao explains in a tired voice as they finally exit the arterial road and the traffic speeds up considerably.
Xue Yang's stomach reminds him that he hasn't eaten anything today, so he fishes out a croissant from his backpack and starts to munch on it while washing it down with the coffee from his thermos flask. "D'ya wanna eat something, Little Starfish?" he asks Xiao Xingchen while a few crumbles fall under his seat.
"Do you absolutely have to eat in my car?" Jin Guangyao snaps before the cultivator has the chance to reply. "Can't you save it for the hospital?"
"Dude. We'll have to wear face masks there," Xue Yang mumbles with his mouth full, which makes Jin Guangyao's face contort with disgust.
"At our clinic?" he intones sarcastically. "Don't make me laugh, Chengmei. The staff all wear respirators, but our esteemed clients couldn't be bothered less."
"Isn't there a regulation for it?" Xiao Xingchen asks with a crease between his brows.
"Of course, but you'll often find the law powerless when there's enough money involved."
"It seems that in some respects, the world really hasn't changed much," Xiao Xingchen comments resignedly, and that is the last thing anyone of them says, apart from Rusong's continuous chatter about trains, until they finally arrive at Jin Guangyao's clinic some five minutes later.
…
Xue Yang knew the hospital was posh, but the sight of the lobby still takes him by surprise.
"Oh shit," he mutters when he takes in all the wooden panels and glass columns, with 1960s style golden light fixtures which remind him of something from an old Bond movie.
"What is the matter?" Xiao Xingchen asks him in a worried tone.
"Nothing. It's just really fancy in here, all gold and chrome plating. And these armchairs we're sitting in are definitely real leather. You know, places like this are not supposed to even exist in this country. Did your history book mention that China is supposedly communist?"
Xiao Xingchen nods.
"I understand that it meant social equality."
"Yeah. On paper. But in real life there are people like Jiggy's father who're obscenely rich and paying their employees minimum wages, and of course they wouldn't want the same medical care as the rest of us mere mortals. This place screams money. No wonder Jiggy dresses the way he does, all designer clothes and shit."
Xue Yang pauses to take a breath, and adds, "The two of us look like vagrants in comparison. Sorry about that."
"I've never cared much for appearances," Xiao Xingchen says with a slight shrug.
"That's easy to say when you look the way you do," Xue Yang snorts.
"And what way is that?" Xiao Xingchen asks, tilting his head a little.
Oh fuck. Xue Yang walked right into this one. Even though the other man can't see him, he is still unable to look him in the face, choosing instead to study his own hands.
"You know. Attractive. Objectively speaking," he mutters, feeling the tips of his ears growing hot.
"You're not so bad yourself, you know," Xiao Xingchen replies, and something in his voice makes Xue Yang overcome his embarrassment and throw a sideways glance at his companion. Surely enough, there is a light smile playing at Xiao Xingchen's lips, just like yesterday when he finally agreed to the bionic eyes.
Xue Yang is slightly better prepared for it than that first time, but he still feels kind of sucker-punched by that sight.
"Excuse me," a female voice says in a pleasant tone. They have been approached by the receptionist, a woman in her thirties dressed in a black pencil skirt and pristinely white blouse. Her hair is perfectly coiffed, and the respirator she is wearing does nothing to conceal the fact that she looks like she just stepped out of a magazine cover.
"Can I offer you gentlemen some refreshments?" she asks, and the crinkles around her eyes indicate that she's smiling under her respirator. Xue Yang jumps at the opportunity, curious about the amenities available to the top ten thousand, and Xiao Xingchen also doesn't refuse the offer.
When they get their respective drinks, Xue Yang's coffee tastes so good that he feels really ridiculous for bringing his own instant Nescafé in a thermos flask. They are also served cookies so delicious that it makes Xue Yang want to take a peek behind the reception desk to see whether the receptionist doesn't hide an oven in there somewhere, because he's never had store-bought cookies that would taste this fresh; even Xiao Xingchen is willing to eat them, and that's saying something.
"I was meaning to ask you," Xiao Xingchen says after taking a sip of his tea, also looking more than satisfied with the taste. "What is wrong with A-Song? At first I thought he was just unruly, but that is not the case, is it?"
"He's got several issues, I don't remember all of them. What I know for certain is that he's got ADHD, which means he can't stay still even if he tries. And I think he's on the autism spectrum, too."
"What does it mean?"
"You know, I'm not actually sure. It's like his brain's wired differently or something. He's obsessed with routines, for one, so that's why he got so mad when we got stuck in traffic. He also won't look you in the eye for some reason. But he's not that bad once you get used to all the shouting," Xue Yang explains.
He and Rusong got along just fine the few times Xue Yang babysat the child, usually taking him to a playground or the zoo. He suspects he might actually have a better rapport with the boy than his own father. But then again, he doesn't have to deal with Rusong on a daily basis.
"I think there is something wrong with his qi," Xiao Xingchen says.
"With his what?"
"His vital energy. It's a little hard to describe but it's like… it doesn't flow through the right channels, I suppose."
Huh. Now that's interesting; so far, Xue Yang has sort of considered Xiao Xingchen as some caveman who has to be educated about the modern world to be able to survive here. However, he's beginning to realize that it might work both ways, and the cultivator can maybe teach the modern world some things in return.
For example how to make that Harry Potter bag, that'd be really useful.
"How does my energy feel?" Xue Yang asks on impulse. This makes Xiao Xingchen reach forward and lightly touch his forehead, as though he's checking his temperature.
"Healthy. Clean," Xiao Xingchen proclaims his verdict, and there is a hint of surprise in his voice that makes Xue Yang bristle. Because what, did Little Starfish expect Xue Yang's vital energy, whatever the hell it is, to be something sick and twisted just because of those things his past self did? Does he consider Xue Yang irredeemable?
For better or worse, he has no time to ponder on this because Jin Guangyao chooses this moment to come back to the lobby to take them to the exam.
…
After explaining the nature of the MRI scan in the simplest terms possible, Jin Guangyao takes Xiao Xingchen through a safety questionnaire. Quite predictably, the cultivator denies having any pacemakers, cochlear implants and suchlike; the only question at which he shows signs of hesitation is whether he experiences fear of enclosed spaces, but he also ends up answering in the negative.
That hesitation was probably caused by the elevator in their building, Xue Yang realizes, remembering how tight Xiao Xingchen held onto him during his first and only ride, as every time after that the cultivator insisted on using the stairs. But that couldn't have been due to the fact that it was an enclosed space alone, as Xiao Xingchen didn't show any signs of distress earlier, when they were stuck in traffic inside of Jin Guangyao's car. Maybe something about the way the elevator moved? Xue Yang muses while the doctor explains to Xiao Xingchen that the latter needs to receive an injection of contrast solution for better visibility of the image.
Xiao Xingchen doesn't show any discomfort when the needle pierces his skin, and obediently removes his glasses and hair pins before lying down on the patient table.
"Will you wait outside or stay here, Chengmei? If you choose to stay, you'll have to leave your phone in the antechamber as no electronic devices are allowed during the scan," Jin Guangyao explains.
"Stay," Xue Yang replies without a moment of hesitation, and heads out to put his phone to the designated spot. When he returns, Xiao Xingchen is already inside the MRI machine. The topmost part of his body that stays visible are his hands; everything above has disappeared inside of the examination tunnel.
Then there is a very loud whirring noise, indicating the machine has been put into operation.
Xue Yang goes sit on the chair meant for the person accompanying the patient. From where he's sitting, he has a view of one of Xiao Xingchen's hands lying by his side, pale and completely still.
Like that of a corpse, runs through his mind. He is visited by a terrifyingly vivid image of a deathly pale Xiao Xingchen lying in an old fashioned straw-filled coffin, dressed in his original robes and his eyes covered by that white cloth he first appeared in, with his hands crossed over his chest.
Xue Yang forcibly shakes off that unsettling vision, thinking that he should maybe reconsider watching all those horror movies. Even when he more or less succeeds to get that image out of his mind, he still has a bad feeling about this, one he cannot really explain. He has, after all, undergone this very examination when he was about fourteen – back when he was plagued by his nightmares – and there was nothing terrifying about it, just a lot of unpleasant noise and the nuisance that was having to lie completely still for more than a half an hour.
Moreover, Xiao Xingchen can't see the narrow tunnel surrounding him, so it is nothing but a different kind of darkness to him. He just has to endure the noise, which is at the level of their motorbike ride two days ago; Xiao Xingchen didn't exactly enjoy it but was able to undertake it twice in the course of a single day, so it couldn't have been that unbearable.
However, no matter how hard Xue Yang tries to reason with himself, the bad feeling won't go away, and the sight of Xiao Xingchen lying still on the patient table makes him feel increasingly uneasy.
And Xiao Xingchen doesn't seem to be coping any better, given the way his hand suddenly makes a fist, his knuckles going white. Xue Yang notices that there are slight tremors running through it as well.
"Can I – hold his hand?" he asks Jin Guangyao, feeling a little sheepish about it.
"I don't see why not," the doctor tells him, "It won't interfere with the scanning process."
Xue Yang takes hold of one of Xiao Xingchen's clenched hands, and the cultivator immediately entwines his fingers with Xue Yang's, obviously welcoming the gesture.
You're not alone in there, Little Starfish, Xue Yang would have said if Xiao Xingchen could hear him over the noise. For better or worse, you're stuck with me. At least until we find Song Lan, he thinks, trying not to dwell on that last part.
…
Their hands stay joined for the entire forty minutes the exam lasts.
If forced to sit still in the same position and unable to use his phone, Xue Yang would normally be extremely bored. Now he is just anxious. He's not sure what the exact purpose of the scan is – he just knows that it's something to do with optic nerves – but he very much wants it to be over, and for the results to be good so this would all be worth it.
When the time is finally up and Xiao Xingchen is pulled out of the MRI machine, there are trickles of dried blood on his cheeks and his breathing sounds like he's on the verge of a panic attack. Jin Guangyao hands him several tissues while Xue Yang puts his arms around the cultivator's back, helping him up.
"I'll go get the results," Jin Guangyao announces after he has made sure that his patient is not going to collapse.
"Can I–" Xue Yang starts to ask Xiao Xingchen, but there is a lump in his throat that prevents him from finishing his question. He finds it easier to just tentatively put his arms around the other man, even though it means the risk of Xiao Xingchen turning away.
Fortunately, Xiao Xingchen does nothing of the sort. On the contrary, he leans into the embrace, putting his head on Xue Yang's shoulder.
"What happened in there? Was it like the elevator?" Xue Yang asks the other man, running a soothing hand up and down his back while strands of dark hair, which Xiao Xingchen had to let down completely for the exam, keep sliding over his fingers like pure silk.
"Worse," Xiao Xingchen says quietly. "I felt… as if I were lying in a coffin. For a very long time."
This quiet admission, so eerily matching his own disconcerting vision, sends shivers down Xue Yang's spine.
"I'm used to living in darkness, but this was different. I don't know why, but it felt as though I'd never get out of that place again," Xiao Xingchen confesses with a slight quiver to his voice.
"Shhh," Xue Yang whispers into his hair and brings him closer. "It's all over. You're okay now, Little Starfish, you don't need to go back in there," he says, trying to sound as reassuring as he can. "We're gonna go home, have some lunch, and then you can do your meditation thingy or listen to some music, how does that sound?"
Xiao Xingchen just nods into his shoulder. They stay like this for a moment, locked in a tight embrace, with the cultivator's breath gradually growing steadier.
"You should have said yes to that claustrophobia question," Jin Guangyao's voice says from behind them. "We could have sedated you. We sedate children on regular basis–"
"I am sorry for the inconvenience," Xiao Xingchen interrupts him in clipped tones, and steps out of Xue Yang's embrace to face the doctor. "I didn't know I would react like that. I hope I didn't ruin your test."
Jin Guangyao lets out an almost inaudible sigh.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it as a reprimand. I'm just saying that you didn't have to suffer like that. But no matter; I actually came to tell you some good news. We'll have to wait for what Lan Xichen has to say about it, of course, but I can tell you already that the results are very promising. I'm quite sure you will be getting a new pair of eyes in the near future."