Even with the positive revelations from last night, lack of sleep was starting to become a habit now it seemed. Dabi wasn't really a fan of it. It was raining for the second night in a row now, keeping the air just cool enough that it was slightly chilly inside Dabi's heater free apartment.

Reaching a hand over, he grabbed for his phone beside the couch as he sat up. There wasn't any light besides the flickering street light that occasionally cast into the apartment, so he had to turn on his phone's flashlight to see what he was looking for. Still left where it had been thrown, Hawks' jacket sat slumped against the corner where the wall met the floor.

Retrieving said jacket, Dabi shrugged it around his shoulders before slumping back down into the couch.

[3:02 am] sender - hey

[3:02 am] sender - i need to talk to you

He sent the text off to Hawks, not necessarily expecting a response but not being surprised when he got one back right away.

[3:03 am] birdie - sure, now?

[3:03 am] birdie - i can be at the usual spot in 15

Did Dabi want to leave his apartment at 3 in the morning to go talk to Hawks? Not really. But it was probably best that he told Hawks now too, just to have everyone on the same page. He sent off a reply to Hawks before getting up from the couch to head out.

Due to the fact that it was still raining outside when he left, Dabi wore the jacket that Hawks had borrowed him the last time that they met up. Personal thoughts aside, it was overall a better quality than Dabi's and did a much better job at keeping him warm and dry. Plus, Dabi was already tired and starting to physically feel like shit, even though emotionally he was doing pretty okay right now, so he wanted to be comfortable.

Hawks was already there and waiting for him once Dabi arrived, stepping under the overhang to speak with the hero.

"You kept my jacket?" Was the first question out of Hawks' lips, and Dabi could understand why. It was dangerous enough with their connection already, no need for people to be getting other ideas. Still, a jacket was a jacket, and most people around this area knew not to hang around too late at night for fear of becoming a piece of overcooked steak, so he wasn't too concerned about someone seeing them.

"Of course I kept your jacket, I'm not getting rid of a perfectly good coat."

"Right." It was hard to tell with the deep shadows cast from the overhead street lights, but Hawks' expression looked almost disappointed in Dabi's answer.

"Do you want it back?" Dabi offered, already beginning to shrug it off of one shoulder as he asked. He didn't want to give up the nice jacket, but he wasn't about to seem attached to it either.

"No, you can keep it. I've got more."

Of course he would have more, he was the number two hero after all. That wasn't what it was really about though, Dabi could tell. So, he pulled the jacket back on, digging his hands into the pockets.

He had to remind himself that he could tell Hawks. The League had accepted him, and they were technically the bad guys, so Hawks as a hero had to positively react, right?

"You were right about before." He finally said, breaking the somewhat silence that had settled between them in the quiet rain that dripped around the overhang. "About who I am."

Dabi wasn't actually looking at Hawks' face when he said it, his gaze literally anywhere but the hero's golden eyes. He was well aware that he didn't say that he was Touya, but the very act of mentioning his identity and that name together sent apprehension rippling through his form.

No, he very much was not scared of saying that he was Touya, thank you very much. He just.. didn't want to.

"Oh." Thankfully, it seemed like Hawks was able to connect the dots without Dabi actually saying it, since Dabi could tell this reaction was likely because he finally believed it as well.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Hawks asked quietly, causing Dabi to finally look back up at him.

Hawks had that same expression that Dabi had seen before. It was the one plastered all over Shouto's face when he wouldn't leave without getting at least some kind of a response.

"I wasn't sure." Dabi offered up, but the words felt weak and empty compared to the emotion that seemed evident in Hawks' voice.

"When did you know?"

"When I asked you what your name was." This was true, honestly. He really did know. He just hadn't said anything.

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"I-"

Unfortunately, 'I was scared' didn't really seem to be the answer that Dabi wanted to give still, but it seemed to be the most realistic one.

Every time he tried to talk about being Touya it felt like swallowing nails. The unknown for such a territory wasn't really that scary, and he probably could actually fill in more of the huge blank crevices in his memory if he did talk about it, but it seemed his subconscious was adamant about not talking about it. He hated the sense of dissonance and disorientation that it gave him.

If he really was Touya- no, he was Touya, why did he still think like that. No, not he was Touya. He is Touya.

Fuck, this hurt his head to think about.

"Dabi? You okay?" Dabi snapped back into reality from Hawks' voice, realizing that he had just blanked out after the question and never really gave an answer. Still, Hawks didn't seem too pressed about it now, concern clearly evident in his eyes for Dabi's wellbeing. Probably fueled by the fact that he knew Dabi was Touya now.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He offered back as he slightly cleared his throat, digging his hands further down into the pockets of Hawks' jacket.

"You sure?"

"I said I'm fine." Dabi repeated. "Just tired. Haven't been sleeping well lately." He'd tell Hawks about the nightmares soon, but not yet. One step at a time.

"I'm sorry." Hawks said, still looking slightly guilty even though Dabi hadn't told him the nature of his sleeplessness yet. He felt inclined to say that it was fine after Hawks' apology, but he had already said that twice. Any more and Hawks would probably start to think that it was definitely not fine.

"Well, I should let you go then I guess." Hawks finally said, saving Dabi from needing to give any more of a verbal response. He gave a sort of noncommittal shrug and nod of agreement, before turning to walk away and prepare to get hit by the rain that was still coming down.

"Dabi." Hawks' voice again stopped him in his tracks, and Dabi looked back over his shoulder at the blonde.

Hawks was softly smiling now, a sense of genuine fondness showing through the golds of his eyes.

"Thank you for telling me."

"I- yeah." Dabi could feel the stitches close to his mouth beginning to pull ever so slightly, signalling that he was attempting to smile even though his entire face and body felt numb. And it wasn't from being cold or wet.

He had that weird feeling in his chest again now, the one that made him want to cry.

Fuck, why did everyone have to be so nice to him.

He needed to sleep in order to process this. Actually sleep, not lay on some dingy couch for a couple of hours in discomfort until a new nightmare would wake him up and leave him just as exhausted as he was before he had laid down.

Dragging himself back to his apartment, he resisted the urge to change his mind and ask to crash at someone else's place. He knew the League would readily accept him, but he still didn't feel ready to confront that face to face.

Ever since he had left Hawks, he'd felt dizzy, and like there was a strong pressure over his temples that sank into his eyes. Probably just the side effect of being tired, he figured, shrugging off Hawks' damp jacket and leaving it hanging by the door. Pulling his phone from his pocket, Dabi glanced down at the time. Nearing 4 am again; he had to stop returning to his apartment so late at night.

Unfortunately, Dabi didn't make it much further than that, the phone clattering from his hand across the floor as Dabi's body hit the ground with a muted thud.