Note: In this chapter I mention alcohol and drinking. Only drink when you are of age and drink moderately. Safety first and health first.
"Mitsuki?"
My eyes met Shirogane's. Right then my parents stood in front of the man and the man bowed down to them.
"Juri, Minato."
"Rido."
"Little brother."
"I heard your lovely daughter has returned home."
He meant me.
"That man..." I softly spoke to Shirogane.
"Who is he?"
"That's your uncle, Rido."
"How old is he?"
Shirogane looked puzzled at me but seeing my face he replied. "I think he is about 34, two years younger than your parents."
We were following the conversation between my parents and my uncle from a distance. I felt uncomfortable, seeing their conversation was leading to a point where I would have to join in.
Shirogane turned me to him and took my face in his hands, making sure no one could see my facial expression.
"I know he is creeping you out. But you probably have to go to him in a few seconds. I will come with you so if anything is up just grab my hand, okay? Just try to fake a smile and be polite."
I nodded.
"Good girl." He let go of me.
Right then I saw my parents look at me, I knew it meant they want me to come over.
I put my through Shirogane's arm and we walked over to them. I let go of Shirogane and then curtsied in front of my uncle.
"Uncle, forgive me for not greeting you earlier." I stood up again. "You may have heard I do not have my memories back so I have a hard time recognizing family."
I looked at him with a gentle, but only known to Shirogane and me fake, smile.
"It is alright, my little niece. Too bad your little brother and sister couldn't be here."
What did he mean by that.
"They said you had striking blue eyes but I wasn't aware they were like this."
The smile he had on his face was creeping me out and I felt he saw right through me.
"Thank you for the compliment. It seems like they have been making people feel a little scared of me. But I am very glad to have them."
It was true, not many people had dared to approach me until now.
He laughed.
"Such an amusing girl. Maybe I could ask you for a dance?"
I moved back to the side of Shirogane and reached out for his hand. I refused to dance with him.
Shirogane gave my hand a little squeeze.
"Oh, I am very sorry uncle but I actually am supposed to perform in a few minutes."
I had been listening to the music that had been playing and I knew I would have to play after this one.
"Ah that's too bad, maybe another time."
"Maybe another time, indeed."
And after performing I am going to try sneaking out so I do not have to see his face again.
That last part I did not say out loud and I just smiled warmly back at everyone.
"So you still hang around the family, huh?"
He looked at Shirogane. Shirogane replied politely but anyone who knew him well could see tension and annoyance in his face.
What I was going to do made me feel a little guilty but was a meaning of escaping this situation.
"If you would please excuse me, this is my queue."
I curtsied, shot an apologetic look at Shirogane and then turned around towards the stage.
When I was out of earshot I sighed. I had reached the stage, where they had actually put a microphone for me. Performing had not been my idea but my parents. They feared people would find it hard to approach me and they thought this would give people a subject to speak about.
Well then, I would give them something to talk about.
The music stopped playing and I was introduced. I very much didn't want to do this but it did not make me stop walking up those stairs. I stopped in front of the microphone and bowed a little.
I then turned to look at the band. We had actually practiced quite a lot for this. I had picked a specific song, Taeyeon voice.
"1,2."
All the voices in my heart
If I could make a wish, even a glance would be alright
Where are you now?
On this desolate street
I chase after your shadow
No longer can I stop myself
It's painful
"Here we go, here we go"
Do you hear that?
A voice that asks and gets no answer
Fleeting and hazy, it seems to disappear
All the voices in my heart
Your lingering voice echoes again and again
Where are you now?
You're always in my heart
Your voice whispers in my heart
Am I still depending on you?
I got your voice
Where are you now?
You hear me call?
A new day comes around
It seems to become one where I chase after you
I run as though I'm fleeing
It's painful
"Here we go, here we go"
That voice
Weighs down on my back
So till I get there I'll keep on walking
All the voices in my heart
Your lingering voice echoes again and again
Where are you now?
You're always in my heart
Your voice whispers in my heart
Am I still depending on you?
I got your voice
Where are you now?
You hear me call?
While I was singing I had a flashback but it was short and clear and it did not stop me from singing. It was that boy once again but this time I was able to realize who it was.
Every day I wait for you
Those memories and that life
Could I just laugh them off?
All the voices in my heart
Show me how I can hear your voice
Even if it's just one more time
All the voices in my heart
If I could make a wish, even a glance would be alright
Where are you now?
You're always in my heart
Your voice whispers in my heart
Am I still depending on you?
I got your voice
Where are you now?
You hear me call?
People clapped and I felt shy. I looked around, trying to find one person and met the gaze of Shirogane. He puts thumbs up and I couldn't help but smile brightly in reply.
Beforehand I had heard there would be people from multiple countries, Japanese, Korean, English and some others I forgot. Since I was able to sing in all three of those languages I had decided on 3 songs.
The second song I had performed before, in the café.
"Next song, by Taeyeon. Kiss you."
After I finished that one, people clapped once again.
"I want to thank everyone for coming tonight to spent this Christmas Eve with us. I am aware I have not been able to greet each and everyone so please do not be scared and please come up to me when you feel like it." I smiled. "Please listen to my last song by Birdy, older."
I just said that on with a reason, if people would talk to me I might not be able to sneak out. But it also meant that my attention would be divided and I would not be able to give my uncle attention.
I had purposefully chosen these three songs. Because of the fact they were love songs, but also because the lyrics held meaning to me personally.
I finished up the last song and then bowed again. I walked to the end of the stage to the stairs and saw Shirogane standing there. He held out his hand for me to help me down the stairs and I took it. On the last step I put down my foot and pain shot through my ankle. Shirogane grabbed me with both hands and lifting me up and then gently help me stand on the floor again.
"I got you."
"Thank you."
Our eyes met and we smiled.
"You did great." If he could I bet he would have petted me on the head like he would usually do but instead he gently stroke my cheek.
He made me blush.
"You have been standing quite a bit, let's find you a seat so you can rest your feet."
He took my hand and took me to the back of the room where there were some seats empty.
I sat down and he kneeled in front of me.
"What are you doing?"
"Let me see your ankle."
He lifted my skirt a little bit and then took my sore ankle.
"It started swelling a bit." He looked up at me. "You probably shouldn't dance anymore."
Shirogane stood up and my mom joined us.
"Should I ask someone to fetch some ice for that?" She asked while looking at my ankle.
"I am fine."
"Are you now?" Shirogane raised an eyebrow at me.
I sighed. "Okay."
My mom walked over to one of the servants and whispered something in their ear, the servant nodded and quickly walked out of the room.
Shirogane sat down next to me.
"Why are being stubborn, even now?"
"You are not the correct person to ask me that."
He looked at me and grinned although I could see he was a bit annoyed with me.
Right then a few females come over and Shirogane got dragged away by my mom.
I had spoken with quite a few people when the servant came to me.
"Ojou-sama? I will take you downstairs to cool your foot."
"Okay, thank you."
I stood up and although my foot still hurt I was able to walk to the door normally without help, I didn't want to cause a scene.
I received help after the door had closed to the ballroom and we slowly went into the kitchen to get the ice. Right there I saw something else I also wanted.
"Could you hand me that bottle?"
"You mean this one?"
"Yes." I saw the young man look at me unsure but he did what I asked of him.
He helped me towards the dining room where I sat down. I took off my shoe and put my foot on another chair and the servant put ice on it. He handed me the bottle I had asked for and a glass.
"If you need anything else just call for me. I will be in the kitchen."
"Thank you."
Later.
"What's this?" I looked up and saw Shirogane.
He took the over half empty bottle and looked at it.
"What the... Where did you get this?"
"Give it back. I got it in the kitchen."
"I am not going to give it back." He looked at the contents of the bottle. "How much did you drink?"
I pointed at the top of the bottle.
"What the hell, Mitsuki!"
"Come ooonnn... don't be a tease." I tried to grab the bottle.
He put the bottle down on the table as far away from me as possible. He then grabbed a can of water and a glass and started handing me water.
"I don't want to drink water."
"You're drunk, you need to drink water."
I drank one glass, he refilled it and then handed me the glass again. And we repeated this 3 times.
"Come on I will take you upstairs."
He grabbed my shoe and grabbed my hand pulling me up from the chair. I stumbled and almost fell over. Shirogane had quick reflexes though and with ease he just lifted me up.
"Let me down."
"No way! You are just going to fall over your own feet. Besides how are you gonna walk with your injury?"
He walked to the back stairs, just to make sure no one would see me in this state.
"You can help me walk but put me down. I don't like being carried, even if it is you."
He sighed and he let me down and a bench that was in the hallway. He took off my other shoe and then helped me up again. He put an arm around my waist and helped me walk.
"What were you thinking?"
"That guy, he scared me."
"That's not a reason to drink like that."
"It tasted like lemonade."
"Yeah, because that's what that drink was supposed to taste like, but it is not supposed to be emptied in one sitting."
I stopped walking, Shirogane looked at me annoyed.
"I have seen that man before. Rido I mean."
"Well, he is your uncle after all."
"No you don't get it. I have never seen that man in real life. I have seen him in my dreams, in the dreams that haunt me every night."
"Dreams that haunt you?" He forced me to continue walking.
"You do know what that means right?"
"Yeah I do know what it means. What I am asking is since when do you have such types of dreams."
We had reached my room and he opened the door.
"Ever since I have been having my memories return."
He helped me sit down on the edge of my bed. I took the diadem out of my hair and lay it down beside me.
"You have been here for months now."
"And I have been having my memories return to me ever since I was 17."
He took the diadem and put it down on the vanity. I started to take out the pins that were keeping the remainder of my hair up. Piece by piece my long hair started to fall down.
"The whole time you have been having those dreams?"
I think he then realised. "That's why you have been awake at strange hours."
He sat down next to me, handed me a glass of water and took the pins I was holding.
"Turn around, I'll help you."
I turned my back towards him and he started to take out the pins one by one.
My mind was slowly sobering up. I had gone this far telling him this all, might as well tell him everything.
"Remember those times I fainted and the panic attack I had?"
"I do remember."
I searched for words. "I think might have been having visions of the past."
I turned to him. "I have no clue what they mean. Every single time I am pushed into a body of a female with the same name as I have, women who have gone through horrible events. In those visions I saw Rido."
I then realized something. My first flashback/vision I had here was me being in darkness. That voice I had heard back then had been his, Rido.
"He is horrible news."
I felt all colour leave my face. I bit my lip.
Right then Shirogane put his hand on my cheek and gently pulled me towards him, forehead against forehead.
"Remember what I told you before? As long as you stay by my side you will be safe. I mean it. So just stay by my side."
He then pulled me into his arms and held me.
Don't do this to me... you're giving me the wrong idea.
"Whenever you have those visions, please tell me. I will help you."
This reminded me of what I had said to Daisuke before. That if something was wrong he could tell me or Shirogane and we would help him. I nodded and let him hold me.
Right then something happened that had never happened before.
"Shirogane!"
Right in front of my eyes I saw the mews on the ground, hurt and unconscious.
Shirogane got hit by something in front of me and he slumped down, bleeding heavily. Our eyes met and he gave me a weak smile.
"Run..."
I couldn't run. I was frozen to the ground and crying uncontrollably.
"Don't leave me." I fell down to my knees. "Don't die... Ryou!"