A/N: There were supposed to be two more scenes to this and then i realized it was starting to get hella long and i'm trying not to pump out such long chapters anymore lol.
Chapter #08:
Twelve Dollars and a Pack of Cigarettes
"You are worth finding,
worth knowing,
worth loving.
You + all your
one million layers.
Always hold that close."
Three weeks of being a personal assistant to Tony Stark had come and gone, and I was happy to say that I had not run the company into the ground in a fiery ball of failure. In fact, I had done well enough that Pepper had called me at the end of week two to let me know I was doing fantastic and that she was excited to continue working with me in the future. I was not ashamed to say I spent the rest of the day smiling like an idiot after hearing that. Praise wasn't something I often got, usually it was just a lack of negative attention, but damn I could see why people liked it. Pepper officially offered me the job, Tony cheerfully threatened to buy me the Jeep again, Bruce congratulated me, Clint and Natasha had taken me out for celebratory coffee, and then I also celebrated with Steve the best way we knew how.
Take-out food and the Walking Dead.
Which we were were now doing again. It was part of our routine now really. Steve and I were midway through season three and he was nearly caught up since the first half of the fourth season was airing on TV right now.
"Ok, ok, ok." I laughed as the credits rolled on the last episode we planned on watching for the night. We were pacing ourselves. My back was leaning against the couch's arm and my legs were pulled into my chest with a fuzzy blanket covering me. The other half was stretched across Steve's lap who sat half a couch cushion away from me. He looked to me with a knowing grin. "Zombie apocalypse Avengers style."
"Walker apocalypse."
"Correct me again and we're throwing hands." I said back and he laughed, "Now don't evade my question. What's the plan, Captain?"
Steve hummed, "What are my rules?"
"No powers." I said firmly. "I'll let you stay buff or whatever." He chuckled. "But none of that genetically engineered super strength or speed. Just normal buff guy strength. Banner has his brains, but no hulk. Same with Tony. All genius, no suits. Nat, Clint, and I still have our skills obviously because we spent years training and perfecting our talents."
Steve scoffed, "How is that fair?"
"How is that not?"
"Fine, fine." Steve relented and paused to think. Steve had easily become the guy I hung out with the most in the Tower and one of my favorite things about him is that no matter what stupid ass question or scenario I threw at him, he always took the answer seriously. "We definitely need to leave the city."
My eyes widened, "Really? Try to brave it in the wilderness?"
"Of course. You saw Atlanta." Steve motioned to the TV. "NYC would be ten times worse. The hardest part of my plan is getting us all out in one piece."
"The one piece part is important." I hummed. "Tony has tons of cars to use though."
Steve shook his head, "All his vehicles are built for speed though. Speed and being flashy." I snickered, and he continued. "We need something that will get us through a mob of walkers. It'd have to be big too. Steal a van, maybe? Something where we all fit and it's sturdy enough to push through any sort of barrier we come across."
I fake gasped, "Steal? Steven Rogers."
"Hey, this is apocalypse rules." He said firmly and I grinned. "Now, once we're out of the city we'd have to find a place to settle and hunker down in. Tony said he had some storage sheds way outside the city."
"Hmm." I nodded in admiration. "Not bad. Not bad. Are we letting newcomers into our merry gang of survivors?"
"Yeah, definitely." Steve nodded, but then he paused, "But we'd be careful about it. Real careful. I have faith there would be good people like us still out there, but realistically I know there would be some who saw it as just an opportunity to take power."
I snapped my fingers, "You know what? You've convinced me. If the world succumbs to walkers, I'd follow your lead, Captain."
"If you think anyone in this Tower would let you veer off and try to take it on without us…" Steve shook his head with a laugh. I rolled my eyes in good nature and he pat my shin a few times. "Come on, you should get to bed."
I groaned but threw my legs off the couch anyways, "I'm off tomorrow. Come on, one more episode!"
He stood with a chuckle and grabbed the trash we left on the coffee table from dinner, "As fun as that sounds, I told Sam I'd meet him in Washington tomorrow morning."
"Boo." I said. "Also, do I get to meet this Sam guy yet? I'm starting to think you're just making him up."
Steve smirked at me and offered me his free hand while the other held our trash. I took it with a pout, and he pulled me up to stand, "He isn't made up, and he wants to meet you too. I'll see if I can talk him into coming to Manhattan tomorrow for dinner. How about that?"
"Sounds fun. Count me in." I replied and helped him clean up our small mess. Tony always said he hired someone to keep the floors clean, but the idea of someone else having to clean up after me just felt weird so I did the best I could to keep my entire floor clean. Especially considering this floor was technically not fully mine. I didn't need the God of Thunder coming back from Asgard and smiting me for a messy kitchen.
After everything was picked up, I walked Steve to the elevator and high fived him goodnight before we went separate ways. He always came down to my floor rather than the other way around and I always ended the night with a high five like we were 12-year-olds.
It was weird. I had noticed early on that the Avengers were surprisingly touchy people. Honestly, I would've assumed the opposite based on the way they lived their lives, but they were constantly reaching out to one another. It was little things. Clint and Natasha would brush their hands against one another subtly every once in a while. As if convincing each other that the other was still there. Tony had a thing about shoulders. He was always grabbing a shoulder to squeeze or would reassuringly pat their backs in passing. Bruce would lightly reach out and touch the forearm or elbow casually as he spoke to them. Steve was a weird little mix of all of them, though each of them stole from one another every once in a while, but it was tougher for me to notice one single trait that belonged to him alone.
I stepped into my bedroom and started getting ready to sleep. To be honest, I had a small idea of why they did what they did. An old psychology class drifted to the forefront of my mind when I initially noticed it. Groups bonded through trauma would sometimes use touch as a way to keep themselves grounded. It was a healthy coping mechanism for the person reaching out and the person receiving. An acknowledgement that all was ok and that they were safe.
Lord knew that my touch starved ass could use a little of that in my life. They actually had tried reaching out. After the first week I noticed Tony would grab my shoulder or the back of my neck comfortingly and Clint, the only one of the group who was an active hugger, would greet me after missions with his arms, but I couldn't do it. I felt too awkward to tell them to stop, but they must have noticed on their own because the touches had abruptly ended. Maybe they felt the way I stiffened every time someone put their hands on me.
It wasn't personal.
It really wasn't and I hoped to heaven they knew that. As hungry as I was for that kind of comfort, every time someone touched me my skin would crawl. My brain would crave it and call out for it, but it was like my body had a mind of its own. I had gotten used to being here, being friends with the people around me, and I could even say I trusted them. I trusted them. That was a huge thing for me. Despite that though, anytime they reached out my body would recoil as if I was going to be hit. I hated it. Boss was locked up and the ring was dead, but both still found some way to poison my life.
I dropped onto the expansive sea that was my bed and JARVIS turned out the lights. It took me a minute to let my eyes adjust to just the natural moonlight filtering in from the large windows. Tony had told me the windows had shutters I could use to darken the room further, but I liked the light it gave.
For the next thirty minutes, I stared at the shadows on the ceiling wishing sleep would come over me. Lately, I hadn't been getting much sleep. Staying still made it too easy for my mind to wander and my wandering mind just wouldn't shut the hell up. It didn't even say anything in particular. It was just like a bunch of white noise bouncing around in my skull. Maybe when the Russians cracked my head open they really did break something more than my actual skull.
With a groan, I sat back up and moved to my closet. It took me 2 minutes to change from my pajamas to spandex shorts, sports bra, and a tank top, and only 5 minutes to get JARVIS to take me down to the training floor. Tony, as per usual, had been completely right. I absolutely loved this floor. It had it all. Treadmills, free weights, actual weight machines, a bunch of punching bags, including a speed bag, and hell half the floor was made up of sparring mats.
After stretching, I grabbed a yellow pair of fingerless boxing gloves. So far, I hadn't been down here with any Avenger. It was probably because I was usually down here really late at night or stupid early in the morning. No time a normal human should be awake. I asked Natasha if she had any tape for when I worked on a bag. She had told me where her own stash was, but of course Tony, who I think just looked for an excuse to buy things, had left a pair of bright yellow boxing gloves with a bow on them for me.
I think it was because the day after I came down here for the first time, I came to work the next morning with bruised knuckles.
The truth of it was, as much as I was finally settling into my new life and as much as I truly did love it, I couldn't stop the itch of wanting to fight. I hated Boss, I hated the ring, but it was moments like this that reminded me why I got stuck in that hellhole in the first place. Fighting had started as a hobby that turned into a coping method that turned into a way to let my anger bleed out of me. Finally, it ended as an addiction. I was an addict for the adrenaline fighting put in my veins and at this point it might've been healthier for me to have just gotten hooked on cocaine or something.
Sweating on this training floor, throwing my frustration into a bag, curbed the edge I felt but it was nothing like the real thing. It was nothing like facing off another human being with as much rage as I had. It was a poor substitute, but I would have to make due. The urge to walk into a bar and start something just for the thrill of it was tempting, but that probably wouldn't be a good look for Tony Stark's newest employee.
So instead, I spent the nights and mornings I wasn't asleep doing this.
Steve walked into the familiar building a little past ten in the morning. Sam had told him to meet him here. He was a little early, Sam was probably still leading his usual session, but Steve didn't mind waiting. As he got closer, he heard his phone chime and pulled it out of his pocket. There were a lot of things to get used to in this day and age, but Steve would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the little things like this.
'Look who I found!' It was a text from Aj, and it was followed by a video. The preview picture was of Clint passed out on the shared kitchen island counter. Steve's lips twitched up, knowing what was coming, and hit play.
The video started quiet, just Aj walking into the kitchen with her camera pointed on Clint who was asleep on the island counter. The guy has a knack for passing out in the absolute worst places possible and Steve was still shocked he could fall asleep in the places he picked out. Aj panned the camera around to look at her, winked once, and then stepped closer.
"HEY DAD!" Aj yelled and Clint shot straight up. Since he was already half hanging off the counter he fell the rest of the way and hit the ground hard. Aj burst into laughter and Clint jumped back up with a curse before sprinting toward her. The camera went blurry as Aj took off running and then abruptly ended.
Steve chuckled to himself before typing back, 'You're going to give your father a heart attack.'
'Clint says I'm grounded. Will you use your Captain America powers to tell him he can't ground me?'
'I'll see what I can do.'
'I don't appreciate that lack luster response, sir.'
'I will use my Captain voice and make sure he doesn't ground you.'
'Better.'
Steve shook his head and tucked his phone back into his pocket before moving to glance at the medals and posters on the wall. After killing about ten minutes, the therapy group Sam was working with began to filter out of the room. He nodded at a few that recognized him from the times he swung by to see Sam then moved to the room himself. Sam was cleaning up the coffee table.
"You know, you're more than welcome to come and hang with the group." Sam called out.
Steve shrugged, "I know. How've you been?"
"No complaints. Keeping busy." Sam threw away the last of the trash before turning to look at him. He had on khakis and a button up shirt. Not Sam's usual look, but the man always tried to look a little official for the therapy groups. He tiptoed the line between casual and professional. "You?"
"Fine." Steve answered. "I'd like to say I'm keeping busy too, but I really have nothing to do right now. I'm almost caught up on the Walking Dead. Does that count?"
Sam chuckled, "That's nice. You still watching it every night with Aj?"
His friend raised his eyebrows as he asked with a teasing smirk on his face. Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes and just smiled back, "Yeah. We watch it together."
"So, does that count as like date night for you guys or…?"
Steve laughed with a shake of his head. Anytime Aj got mentioned with Sam it always ended up here. Sam and Natasha. He crossed his arms, "It isn't like that. She's just a friend."
"A friend you won't shut up about. It's always Aj this and Aj that." Sam joked.
"Speaking of, Aj wants to meet you tonight. You up for dinner?"
Sam grinned and clapped him on the shoulder as they stepped out of the room, "I finally get to meet the girl that makes Captain America swoon?"
"You keep this up and I'm not taking you back to New York with me." Steve chuckled. The two of them got outside and Steve readjusted his jacket. He wasn't the biggest fan of the cold. It hadn't always been like that, but these days it bothered him a lot though he'd never admit it aloud.
Sam motioned to the right where his car was parked along the street and they moved toward it, "Be real with me, man. There's something there, right? Even the beginnings of a crush?"
"I told you it's not like that. I like spending time with her. She's fun and we get along well." Steve shrugged and stopped by the passenger door of the car. Sam unlocked it and he slid into the seat. Once Sam was in as well, he continued, "You'd really like her, Sam. She's great."
Sam gave him another look, "Ok, let me rephrase this for you, grandpa." Steve shook his head in amusement. As much as he did love hanging out with Aj, he had really missed Sam. The man had easily become a good friend of his. "Could you see yourself one day liking her as more than just a friend?"
"Are we really having this conversation?" Steve questioned. "I thought I was here for work."
"Work is boring. This is interesting. Plus, Nat told me to bug you about it a little more." Sam replied and Steve nodded in understanding. The redheaded woman loved hanging out with Sam almost as much as he did and the two of them met up often when Natasha was in DC for SHIELD things. "Now answer the question."
Steve glanced over at Sam whose eyes were focused on the road, "Nat has been trying to get me out on a date since the battle of New York. This is just her latest idea."
"You avoiding my question is honestly the only answer I really need."
"I…" Steve began and shook his head. This wasn't the kind of conversation he should even be thinking about. Aj was a friend. He knew that and he really did enjoy spending time with her. She was funny and true to herself and they had things in common. What more could he want from a friend in the Tower? Apparently, Natasha and Sam thought there could be more, but it wasn't a thought he often entertained. He couldn't say the thought hadn't occurred to him, but he let it go as quickly as it had come. "She's Bucky's girl."
Sam, who was now stopped at a light, snapped his head to look at him in disbelief, "Bucky's girl? Bucky knew her for three days and she was unconscious for two of them! Meanwhile, you have spent nearly a month with her, getting to know her better. You know more about her than he does I can guarantee you that."
Steve shook his head. Sam wasn't wrong about that. Anytime Aj offered information about herself, he made sure to absorb it like a sponge. She didn't like mushrooms unless they were eating pizza, but the pizza also had to have pepperonis. Aj liked the Walking Dead because she liked the idea of a group of people finding a family together even in the hardest of times. Her favorite color was blue, but only navy blue, she hated birds for a reason she still wouldn't disclose to him, and she hadn't had a sip of soda for the past five years. It wasn't often that the woman would bring up topics from her past or the way she felt about things, but Steve really liked slowly getting to know her better and better.
"They weren't around each other long, but she made him feel something." Steve argued. "She managed to break through to him and I can't ignore that."
"Well I can't ignore the fact that you're stopping yourself from catching feelings because you have some weird idea that your missing best friend is in love with her after a day of talking to her." Sam countered.
It was a good argument, but Sam didn't know Bucky like he did. He shook his head, "I'm not saying he fell in love. I'm just saying that they connected somehow, maybe it was the trauma of it all, but I don't know... It's just a gut feeling I have."
"What does Aj say about Bucky?"
"She doesn't talk about him a lot. I think it's because she thinks it bothers me and it probably isn't fun reliving those days for her too." Steve said. "She wears his jacket."
Sam glanced over at him again, "What?"
"He gave her his jacket in the bunker. Tony had it dry cleaned for her since she bled through it pretty badly."
Sam hummed to himself in thought before nodding once and speaking up, "That makes sense. She went through something terrible and Bucky and that jacket were her anchor. It gives her comfort. From the sound of it, she's handling this pretty well, but this only happened to her a month ago. That's not a lot of time and everything familiar to her took a full 180."
"I really want you to talk to her." Steve commented. "I think it could help. She's doing good, but I don't think she's getting as much sleep as she should. She's almost on a Tony sleep schedule."
Sam grimaced, "Sheesh."
"Yeah." Steve agreed.
"I'd love to help her out in any way I can. Anything for Captain America's girl."
Steve rolled his eyes, "You think you're real funny, don't you?"
"Oh, I know I'm funny." Sam replied with a shake of his head, "Let's get to work. I gotta make sure we're done in time for us to get back to New York. I gotta meet the girl pullin' on your heart strings."
Steve scoffed with a grin and didn't offer a reply. Nothing he said would convince Sam or Natasha otherwise. It didn't really matter though. Aj was his friend and he liked hanging out with her. That was all he actually needed to know.
Avengers Tower had a small coffee stand in the lobby. Actually, the Tower had multiple spots for coffee. There was a full-blown Starbucks on the second floor. Still, my favorite stop for coffee, and Tony's too, was a small little stand that a guy named Sal set up. He had various people who worked there, but no matter what Sal was always there. I was actually starting to wonder if he lived in the stand.
"Sal!" I called out as I got closer to it. I had gotten to know the guy well since I came here two times every weekday to pick something up for my caffeine addicted boss.
Sal, a middle-aged man with thick black hair and a pot belly behind his blue apron, cheered when he saw me, "Look at the little bird today!"
"Still don't like that nickname." I countered with a smirk, "But I will continue to put up with it because you pour magic into those cups."
"It's a gift." Sal shrugged. He spun his finger once. "Let me see!"
Sal was impressed with my wardrobe, maybe more so than I was, and he always asked me to model my outfit of choice for the day. Today my day off outfit consisted of the best fitting jeans I had ever owned, a white, loose button up shirt, and Bucky's dark green canvas jacket. Technically the look would be better with the gray peacoat Natasha convinced me to get, but wearing Bucky's oversized jacket was comforting in a way I couldn't describe.
I stuck my hand into the coat pockets and spun dramatically on my heel with a flip of my hair. Sal laughed and clapped his hands, "There we go! Killing it as per usual!" I laughed and leaned against the counter giving the employee working with Sal today a little wave. Sal tapped on the counter, "I have something for you to sign."
"For me to sign?" I questioned.
Sal pulled a newspaper out from under the counter and slammed it on the counter in front of me. I recognized the tabloid easily and I knew exactly which issue it was too. The front cover had a picture of me stepping out of the high-class dry cleaners picking up Tony's suits and the headline read 'The Domestic New Mistress!' It was the follow up issue to one where someone had gotten a picture of me and Tony eating lunch claiming I was his newest conquest. Tony framed it in his lab saying it was the funniest thing he had seen since they claimed him and Steve were in a relationship. Tony literally had a wall with tabloids claiming he was in a relationship with nearly every Avenger and now I was part of the club.
"Oh, come on." I laughed.
Sal pointed to the top where a familiar scribble was, "Your lover signed it for me already."
I rolled my eyes and held out my hand. With a grin he set a pen into it and I signed the space by my annoyed face in the picture. The assholes hadn't even gotten a good picture of me. Absolute bullshit. When I went to hand back the pen Sal sat down a small coffee cup in front of me. I grinned, "Now I remember why I put up with you, Sal."
"Have a good day!" He chirped.
There really was no plan to my day off today. I had dinner with Sam and Steve tonight unless plans changed, but usually Steve never went back on plans like that with me. I had an entire day to kill, and I figured I'd spend it wandering the city I hadn't spent the time getting to know. It'd be nice to experience Manhattan casually.
I walked down the sidewalk, sipping on my drink, in the cold, Fall air. There was some kind of electricity hanging in the air of the city. People milled about completely focused on their own moment while I breezed past them people watching. I readjusted my sunglasses and just drifted. It felt like a full hour had passed of me just walking down the street looking at various buildings. Clint mentioned there was a cute little brunch place around the corner. As it turns out, what I had been missing my entire life was brunch. I never understood why rich, old white women were obsessed with it but holy shit I got it now.
My little adventure was nearing its end, so I figured I'd pick up food from the brunch place and take it back to the Tower. It was my day off, but I was pretty sure if I didn't bring food to Tony he would starve to death.
'I'm picking up food. Any brunch requests?' I texted Tony and stuck my phone back into my coat pocket. I paused then pulled out my phone again. Nothing said 'I'm sorry for scaring the shit out of you' quite like bacon did. I sent the same text to Clint.
The brunch place wasn't as fancy as the one I had gone to with Clint ages ago, but it still looked nice. Whereas the other one was classy this one was very cozy with mostly outdoor seating. I greeted the host at the podium and quickly ordered my own food then pulled out my phone to check requests.
'Pancakes but if they aren't fluffy enough I'm sending you back.'
'Hm, do they sell apologies at the brunch place? Lessons for respecting your elders?'
I ordered pancakes for Tony and an omelet I was pretty sure Hawkeye would like. The guy nodded and told me I could wait over by the bar. As I walked over to the outdoor bar, I texted Tony the eye rolling emoji and Clint the poop emoji.
"Can I get the rum sunrise?" I asked the bartender who nodded once. Natasha had sent me a snap, and if you had told me Black Widow was on snapchat I would've laughed your ass onto the street, but she was very active on the app. It was a picture of a pair of black heeled ankle boots with the caption 'Like it?'.
I took a picture of the bar and replied back, 'Real cute. You'd look great in them.'
Seconds later, I got another snap, this time of Natasha's bored face, with the caption, 'I bought them for you, dumbass'.
The shock of the Avengers randomly bringing me things had somewhat worn off so instead of having a panic attack I just snickered instead. Before I could send a snap back in reply though, a large form saddled up to the bar beside me.
"Hey there, Bradshaw."
The familiar voice immediately made me nauseous. Not in fear or worry but just out of plain disgust and annoyance. I dragged my eyes to the man beside me who was grinning at me like we were best friends.
Kyle Osborne. Tall, broad shoulders, dirty blond hair and a chiseled chin. Unfortunately, he was exactly my type. In fact, he was so my type that five years ago when he asked me out on a date I couldn't help but say yes. The date went well, he found out I used to fight, and then on our follow up date he brought me to the Ring. It was the equivalent of an alcoholic visiting a liqueur store. Only terrible things could follow.
"And here I had hoped you fucking died." I mumbled. The last time I saw this jackass was two years ago. For the first three years, he was a good friend. He also fought for Boss and he acted as my ally. Then, out of nowhere, he stole money from Boss. He stole money from that evil bastard and then he pinned the entire thing on me. "What do you want?"
"Is that how you treat an old friend?"
"We are not friends." I snapped. The bartender brought me my drink. A tall glass filled with a red liquid that lightened in color as it rose to the top of the glass. A true sunrise. "If you were dying of dehydration in a desert I wouldn't even spit on you."
Kyle nodded, "Still dramatic, I see." My teeth clenched tightly and if he noticed it then he didn't care. "You look really good though. I guess fucking Tony Stark has it's perks, huh?"
"Kyle, you have 30 seconds to say whatever the hell it is you want to say." I growled. "After that, if you're still here, I end you."
He had the nerve to chuckle at my threat. As if my eyes didn't scream 'homicide' right now. To be honest, the only reason I hadn't immediately stabbed him in the neck with the closest brunch fork as soon as I saw him was because I knew my new friends would be a little disappointed. Not a lot disappointed, I think, once I explained why, but at least a little disappointed. Plus, it wouldn't look good in the tabloids if Tony's newest lover was a murderer, so…
"Always so quick to the point. You don't wanna catch up? See how I've been?"
"I would literally rather eat glass shards."
Kyle pressed his lips together, the only clue that he was starting to get irritated. I hated that I knew that about him. He rubbed his jawline and then leaned against the bar, "I need a favor, Aj."
My brain shut off. He needed a favor? Kyle was coming to me because he needed a favor? The man who pinned the loss of $25,000 on me then bailed. Boss had fucking waterboarded me over and over again trying to get me to tell him where I put the money. The money I didn't even have. I couldn't even look at a body of water without remembering what it felt like to have ice cold water poured over the rag on my face.
Kyle, ever the clueless moron, continued, "I know we left on the wrong foot, but I need some help. I owe some bad people some money, a guy worse than Boss, and I was hoping you could loan me some cash." Loan meant I'd never see the money again. "I was thinking $700,000 would cover it. That's chump change for your new sugar daddy."
My hand tightened around the glass and I tried to keep my breathing steady. Anger was crawling up from my gut into my chest and it felt like I was burning alive. Every inch of me was foaming at the mouth, rabid and feral, ready to tear Kyle limb from limb.
"No." I said simply.
Kyle blinked in surprise, "No? No? After everything I did for you?"
I hated that. I hated that with every fiber of my being. People like Boss and Kyle acting like they had done me any favors. As if my life was any better from knowing them. They acted like I owed them something, like I was being a bratty child rebelling against her loving parents. Boss tortured me mentally and physically for five years, and Kyle? It wasn't his fault I was in the ring. I knew it was my own desire, my own addiction, that lead me to pick up that first fight, but he took me there despite me telling him that I was trying to move past that part of my life. Kyle had no problem with not warning me about Boss and how the ring works. He was content with letting myself fight until Boss noticed me enough to drag me into his claws.
Before I could tell him exactly how I felt about that, another large man saddled up to my left. I didn't recognize this guy, but he looked like bad news. The bartender must have noticed because I watched him slip away into the back. Probably to call the cops. Good for him.
"I didn't want to do it this way, Aj. For old times sake." Kyle said softly with a shake of his head. "If you don't give me the money I need then I'm gonna have to hurt you. Boss put a price on your head, and I don't want to do this, but I can't turn down that potential paycheck."
I smirked, "Kyle, you'd sell me out to Boss for $12 and a pack of cigarettes."
Kyle frowned at the jab at his character. This asshole saw himself as some noble hero. My plan was to tell him to take a long hike off a short pier, grab our food, and then go back to the Tower where I could pound into a punching bag until my hands were black and blue. That was the plan and I was dedicated to it.
But then he touched me.
Kyle set his hand on my shoulder, squeezed down, and gave me a look he thought would win me over. Two years ago, it probably would've.
"Come with us now. Don't make a scene." Kyle said firmly.
The man on my other side turned to face me and out of the corner of my eye I could see the glint of a small pocketknife. They should've brought something with a little more punch. I shrugged off his hand with a glare, "Relax. I'm finishing my drink first. It cost me $10."
Kyle stiffened in annoyance, but I reached forward and brought the glass to my lips. The drink was sweet and I would've really liked it if Kyle hadn't shown up. It was the perfect drink to sip on outside on a beautiful Fall day in the city waiting for my food. Right now, though? It felt too sweet. It didn't feel right. I needed something sharp and burning. I needed something sharp and burning because I was about to disappoint a lot of people.
I knew I could always argue that this was just self-defense because technically it was. Kyle was threatening to take me away and turn me into one of Boss' non-incarcerated henchmen for money. I had a guy with a knife at my back. To anyone looking in at the scene this was self-defense. However, my brain didn't see either of these idiots as a threat. I wasn't scared in the slightest of Kyle or the brawny guy he brought with him because he was too much of a coward to face me himself. I was going to fight back, not because I was scared and protecting myself, but because I wanted to taste his blood. I wanted him bruised and broken at my feet and I knew that was terrible. I knew I was terrible. The Avengers tried to save me from myself, but at the end of the day not even the greatest superhero squad known to man could heal the broken thing in me that craved blood.
Kyle scoffed, "Hurry up."
I glanced at him before tilting the glass and chugging the rest of the drink. Kyle let out a sigh of relief. Instead of setting the glass back down though, I turned and smashed it into the side of the guy with the knife's head while also kicking my foot back into Kyle's gut. Kyle lost his breath, stumbled back, and I took that opportunity to turn to the guy who was still recovering from that first blow. I grabbed a handful of his hair and slammed his head against the flat portion of the bar. He crumpled to the ground unconscious.
Right as I whipped around to face Kyle, he threw a punch at me. I dove back out of his reach and readjusted my feet. Kyle had his arms up, ready to fight, and his teeth clenched. He was seething and all I could do was laugh.
"You really thought I was just gonna walk out with you, Kyle?" I scoffed with a grin.
Kyle lunged forward and I ducked and rolled out of the way of every swing of his beefy arm. Every time I dodged a punch, I landed one of my own against his torso. Kyle grunted in annoyance and tried to throw his knee into my side. I blocked the knee, but it gave him the angle to grab me into a headlock. His arm tightened around my throat as he smirked. I turned my chin toward his torso, giving myself room to catch my breath, then swiftly stepped behind his own feet. This gave me enough leverage to pull his arm back then knock his feet out from under him.
He fell forward on the ground then scrambled to get up while I straightened my jacket. I smirked at him, "This plan of yours might've worked if you remembered one thing."
"What's that?" Kyle spat at me.
"You're a good fighter." I replied. "But I'm better."
I lunged forward, ducking under the sloppy swing on his arm, and then sent a left uppercut under his chin followed by a right hook. Kyle tried to grab me, but I moved out of the way and followed up with an elbow to the center of his face. I heard the satisfying crunch of his nose, but instead of reveling in it I grabbed handfuls of his hair and drove my knee up into his face at the same time of my hands dragging him down.
Kyle hit the ground hard, groaning while clutching his bleeding nose. I stepped toward him, not done with my onslaught, when the sound of people rushing out onto the patio stopped me.
"Freeze! Put your hands up!" An officer barked, his gun trained on me.
I clenched my jaw, unhappy that Kyle was still conscious, and raised my hands up. Apparently, I had kicked their asses so badly that the cops on scene didn't immediately assume self-defense. It didn't help that neither had left a mark on me. As one officer went to arrest Kyle and try to rouse the unconscious guy, I felt another handcuff my hands behind my back. He was reciting me my rights, but it wasn't something I hadn't heard before. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time I was being arrested.
A small voice in the back of my head told me to argue my innocence. Tell them this was a misunderstanding and I was being threatened, but I shoved that voice back into the recesses of my mind.
There was no innocent part of me.
Not anymore.
Clint slouched in his seat with his feet kicked up on the coffee table. He was currently lounging in the shared living space waiting for Aj to show up with his lunch. Tony was working in his lab, Bruce was out of town doing lecture work, Natasha was shopping, and Steve was in DC with Sam. Clint counted himself lucky that he had absolutely nothing to do today. Those were his favorite kind of days.
The TV in the shared space was tucked into the floor and with a button it would rise up. A random, local news channel was playing in the background since Agent Hill had asked him to keep an eye out for weird disturbances, but he was more concerned about the game on his phone. A few more minutes and he'd beat this level of Candy Crush that had been haunting him for the past week.
"Why do you keep putting your nasty feet on my coffee table?" Tony called out.
Clint glanced over, not moving his feet, to see Tony leaving the lab and coming down to the kitchen. He must have run out of coffee. Clint smirked, "I thought this was our coffee table, Stark. Shared spaced and all."
"Shared space just means there are multiple people who want your feet off the table instead of just me." Tony countered before disappearing.
The elevator doors opened, but Clint couldn't see who came in since the risen TV blocked his view of the doors. Seconds later, Natasha came around it with a few bags in her hands. She glanced around before looking to him, "Get your feet off the table." Clint groaned and pulled his feet back. "Where is Aj? I have some things I want her to try on."
Natasha was the kind to go out and buy things for the group to wear. She'd see a jacket that would look good on Thor or a shirt that would modernize Steve's collection and just buy it. More than 80% of Clint's entire wardrobe came from Natasha just buying things for him. Now that there was another girl to shop for though, Nat had been on cloud nine.
"She's getting me brunch food as an apology for hurting my feelings." And pride.
Tony came out with a mug of coffee, "She's out getting us food, and she never apologized. Nor should she. I told you to stop lying on the kitchen counter." Clint rolled his eyes, but Tony continued, "She should be back by now though. It shouldn't take this long."
"Who's the worrywart now?" Clint mocked. Tony took every chance he had to make fun of him for 'adopting' Aj. He thought that was ironic since Tony basically did the exact same thing. Clint was pretty sure Tony was just peeved that Clint beat him to the paperwork. Even though technically the paperwork was for a dog.
"Firstly, I never used a word like 'worrywart'." Tony came closer to stand by the two of them. "Second, I've finally figured out that our daughter is an absolute trouble magnet and should be supervised at all times."
"Our daughter? Are we finally settling on joint custody?" Clint sat up in his seat with a grin. He looked to Natasha with his hands up in celebration, "Happy day, Tash, our baby girl is coming home!"
Tony pointed at him, "Keep it up. I'll lock you out of every source of coffee in this building."
"That punishment does not fit the crime at all."
Natasha rolled her eyes, "Ignoring this argument, has anyone just called her?"
Tony and Clint glanced at each other before looking back to her with matching, sheepish smiles. She shook her head and set the bags down to pull out her phone. It was an honest to God miracle that anything got done around here.
Clint's eyes flashed back to the TV where the muted news anchor was talking with a smile. The banner under her read 'Bar Brawl Broken Up By Police'. Clint snickered at the name and pointed to the screen, "Hey, look, what kind idiot gets into a bar fight at 11:30 in the morning?"
All eyes slid to the TV at his words just as a grainy video began to play on the screen. The video was of a woman knocking one guy out and then fighting the other and it took them a minute for it all to click, but then it did. Tony hastily placed his cup onto the table, coffee sloshing out, "Son of a bitch, that's our idiot."
He rushed off while Clint began to rub the back of his neck. Natasha tilted her head once and hummed, "She has really good form and—hmm, she got out of that head lock impressively fast."
Clint groaned and buried his face into his hands, "Not even Captain America is gonna stop me from grounding her ass."
"Again, she's a grown woman." Natasha said and sat down beside him on the couch. "You can't ground her. What do you think happened though? I doubt she picked two random people to fight."
Clint shrugged as Natasha worked on her phone. A few minutes later she had another copy of the video but this one was taken from a cellphone from behind the bar and had audio. It was still hard to hear, but Clint was able to pick up on one thing.
"She called him Kyle. She knows him."
"Think he works for Eugene?" Natasha asked. She couldn't help but mock the name. When they had asked Aj ages ago what his actual name was she had told them that she didn't even know. It was only after he was arrested and booked did they learn that his name was Eugene Morgan. Aj had laughed at that, but didn't seem overly pleased that she was tormented by a jackass named Eugene.
Clint stood up, "Don't know, but I'm gonna find out."
Tony would pick up the jailbird and he would deal with the shithead that got her arrested. It was all about balance.
"Dude, that's great." I smiled at Officer Reagan. "I can't believe how big she is now! The last time you arrested me your daughter was like what? 9?"
Officer Reagan, a middle-aged man with a warm demeanor, nodded, "Yupp. Time sure does fly, doesn't it?"
"You're telling me." I replied as he led me down the hallway to the drunk tank. It's where I would sit until either someone came to pay bail, or my time ran out which would be around 10 hours.
"You look like you're doing good though, Bradshaw. I'm picking you up from much nicer places now." He joked.
"Hey, you too!" I bumped my shoulder into him since my hands were still handcuffed behind my back. "Working in Manhattan now? That's gotta be better from our old neighborhood."
Regan laughed and stopped me to take the handcuffs off, "You have no idea. Are you sure you don't wanna use your one phone call?"
I nodded and he swung the door to the cell open for me to walk in. The idea of calling Tony or Clint or Natasha to come pick me up was unbearable. The embarrassment of it all might just kill me. I knew they were probably going to find me anyways since I didn't have my phone and wouldn't be answering their worried calls, but I was going to put that off for as long as possible.
"Do my eyes deceive me or is Small Fry back in the cell?" Reagan shut the door and I turned to the bench where a very familiar face had spoken up. There were two other woman in the drunk tank with me. One was an older lady who was obviously still inebriated with the way she was passed out on the floor and the other was the infamous Hammer Head.
"Holy shit, Hammer Head?" I scoffed. "Geez, I'm running into all of the old crew today. How lucky of me."
Hammer Head, whose real name I honestly didn't even know, smirked at me. Her dark skin made the bubblegum pink wig she wore that much more noticeable. She had on a corset that accented her breasts and a pair of tight shorts with fish net stockings. Her tired, brown eyes greeted me and the eyebrow with a shaved portion in the corner rose, "Who else you running into?"
"Fucking Osborne." I replied with his last name since that's all she would recognize. Hammer Head made a gagging motion that I laughed at. I moved to sit down beside her on the shitty bench and sighed, "You know it's still pisses me off that the guys get to use their names for fights and we get shit like—"
"Hammer Head and Small Fry?"
I nodded, glancing at her, "You get it."
"Course I do." She shrugged and then without changing her tone continued, "What I don't get is you snitching on all of us."
I flinched at the accusation and tried not to stiffen in my seat. Hammer Head was probably the closest thing I could call a friend from the ring, but that was a very loose definition. She could easily turn to fight me, and I wouldn't be surprised. Hell, I probably deserved it.
"It wasn't like that." I said pathetically.
Hammer Head shifted in her seat to face me head on and now I could see the anger broiling in her dark eyes, "Tell me how it is then, Small Fry. Because from here it looks like you're living the good life with the 1% while the rest of us scour for scraps."
"I didn't do it for money—"
"Nah, the money was just an added bonus, huh?" She scoffed. "You took everything from people like me."
I turned to face her as well, "Hey, I was a part of that 'people'. The Ring, the Pit, it was a shitshow. Boss needed to go down. I tried to get you and the others out of the way before SHIELD swooped in but—"
"But nothing." Hammer Head said and I could hear the sting of betrayal in her voice. "The Ring was all people like us had. We don't have the skills to make it in the real world, so we earn our keep by beating the shit out of each other every other night." She let out a humorless laugh and motioned to herself, "You think the pink wig was a style choice? I swore I'd never go back to stripping and now thanks to you…"
It felt like I was going to be sick again, but this time it was from guilt.
"If you hadn't had Tony fucking Stark waiting in the wings for you, you'd be just like the rest of us. Scrambling in the streets looking for a way to make enough money so you don't starve."
She wasn't wrong. If the Ring had fallen before I ever met Clint or Natasha I would've just been an out of job fighter. I had a college degree, but what the fuck would I be able to do with that? If the Avengers hadn't taken me in, I'd literally be living in the streets.
"Why don't you leave?" I asked. "DC has a decent sized ring, I hear, and anyone would be better than Boss."
That's probably what I would've done. As pathetic as it sounds, I would've licked my wounds and then crawled to the next ring desperate for another fix. Hammer Head shook her head, her burning anger simmering some, "My family is here. Sister and niece. It's why I'm stripping on a Saturday morning."
"They hurting?"
"They're doing decent enough. Brother in law is a good guy, good job, but…" Hammer Head shrugged, "My niece is a smart kid. Wicked smart. She goes to one of those fancy ass private science schools here in the city. Got a scholarship and everything, but it doesn't cover the full cost." She crossed her arms and I clenched my jaw. Hammer Head had talked about her niece to me before. She was infinitely proud of the kid. "I usually send them some of my fight money to help pay for it. That's not happening now though."
I leaned back against the wall, "I'm sorry."
"I know." Hammer Head shrugged. "I just wished that meant something."
It was silent for a beat before I nudged her with my elbow, "How come you're sitting in a drunk tank instead of stripping right now?"
Hammer Head smirked, "Handsy, pathetic loser grabbed my ass. I warned him once. The second time he did it I broke his arm." I laughed with her. "Workplace called the cops on me and now hear I am."
"He ain't pressing charges?"
"If he did he'd have to explain to his wife how a stripper broke his arm on a Saturday morning." She replied and I laughed again. Our old comradery kept things from feeling awkward, but things still felt wrong. Our favorite jokes had been the ones mocking the rich idiots who ran our lives. It was our little rebellion. Now though, I felt like an outsider. I might never really be a part of the world of dry cleaning, brunch, and business meetings, but I also was no longer an underground, illegal fighter.
I felt kind of like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Except I was a wolf that the others wolves had shunned and kicked out and now I was desperately trying to get the sheep to welcome me in, to love me.
"You need to watch out for others like Kyle."
I snapped back into focus, "What do you mean?"
"Last I heard on the street, Boss put a hit on your head." Hammer Head shrugged. "$500,000 for the person who cuts out your tongue."
"Aw, how sweet of him."
Hammer Head shook her head, "I'm serious. We're all desperate for that payday, but there are some who would love the money and love the chance to kill you. You escaped to the real world, but you left a lot of enemies behind."
She had a very good point. I hadn't actually thought about it before, but I should've known Boss would pull some shit like this. Having various people wanting to kill me didn't feel very new though.
"What's your sister's name?" I asked, changing the direction of the conversation.
Hammer Head stiffened, "Why?"
She hadn't been the only person in the ring who had family or loved ones. I knew how protective people like her were over them. So much so that they never spoke their name, never gave others the chance to use their loved ones against them.
"I can't help everyone." I shrugged then motioned between the two of us, "But I'm gonna make this right. It's the least I can do. You've helped me out over the years."
After my first marathon fight, when I was nothing but a bloody pulp leaning against a basement wall with tears running down my face it had been Hammer Head who stopped to clean my wounds. She took me out for food and told me to never let anyone in that ring see me cry.
"I don't need your charity." Hammer Head said, but the way her voice quivered told me otherwise. Accepting things like this wasn't exactly in either of our natures, but as I was kind of starting to learn… sometimes you needed an outside hand to pick you up. I shook my head and gave her an expectant look. Finally, she whispered, "Amber Jones. She's in Queens. Married to Brandon Jones."
I nodded once, "I'll handle it. I promise."
Hammer Head pressed her lips together, collecting herself, then lifted her left arm up with the elbow bent. I smirked and used my right to bump our forearms together. It was a greeting allies in the Ring did. We sat there for another half hour talking about old times before she shook her head at me.
"I gotta ask this." She grinned impishly at me. I motioned for her to go on, and go on she did, "Is Stark a good fuck?" I burst into loud laughter. In fact, if Tony had been around to see me laugh like this at the question he probably would've bitched at me for hours. Hammer Head shook her head, "Shit, is he bad?"
"I don't know!" I scoffed. "I'm just his assistant. I baby sit him during the week and make sure he shows up to his meetings and doesn't starve to death. I'm a glorified nanny."
Hammer Head rolled her eyes, "You dumb bitch. You had a chance to get Stark in bed and you chose to be his assistant?"
"Ok, no, no, no." I held my hand up. "I'm going to clarify this right now. I never had the opportunity to 'get him in bed', he's dating Pepper Potts still, and even if I had that opportunity I would've said 'hell to the no'." She scoffed again and I shrugged. "Stark isn't my type. You know that. I'm a sucker for big, broad shoulders."
Hammer Head nodded once before tilting her head, "Captain America has some nice shoulders, doesn't he?" Yes, he very much did, and at the involuntary thought answering that question I felt my face heat up. I was not supposed to be thinking about my new friend's very nice shoulders. Hammer Head hit me in the arm, "Holy shit, you're fucking Captain America!?"
"Will you stop that!?" I cried, the heat still there, "I am fucking no Avengers."
Not a sentence I thought I 'd say today, but ok.
"You're so boring." Hammer Head huffed. "There's not a single Avenger I wouldn't fuck and you have the opportunity—"
"Stop with the opportunity thing, there is no opportunity!"
There was a beat of silence between us where she just bobbed her head up and down. Hammer Head opened her mouth, "So if you're not fucking any of them—"
"Are we still on this topic?"
"Then whose jacket are you wearing?" She pulled at the collar a bit, "It definitely isn't yours."
I hadn't expected the question, and it threw me off. After a second I shook my head, "It, uh, it's Bucky's."
"Who the hell is Bucky?" Hammer Head scoffed.
I grinned, "A really good man. The best. Saved my life, literally."
Hammer Head raised an eyebrow at me with a smirk, "He cute?"
I winked, "Shoulders like you would not believe."
Hammer Head and I started talking about my other clothes which lead me to telling her about Black Widow who was both fun and terrifying rolled up in a model's body. In total I think about 45 minutes passed before a familiar voice called down the hall to me. Hammer Head looked to me curiously and I just sighed.
Tony Stark stepped into view, standing on the other side of the cell door, with a stern frown. He pointed at me, "You are in big trouble, sunshine."
Hammer Head raised her eyes twice at me suggestively and I just quietly told her to stop. She stood up suddenly, while the officer finally caught up to Tony to open the door, and I stood curiously.
"What we gonna hug or something?" I asked. Hammer Head smirked and I groaned. Fair was fair, and the move I made was more than deserving of our usual punishment. I motioned toward myself, "Go at it."
"Go at what?" Tony snapped.
Hammer Head moved quick and before I knew it her fist slammed into the right side of my face making me stumble. Tony yelled something else and I squeezed my eyes together to try and make the sting disappear faster.
"Shit, I always forget you're a southpaw." She lifted her left arm to flex her bicep and I smirked at the familiar tattoo of a hammer head shark on the inside of her arm. The cell door opened, and I moved to leave. Hammer Head cleared her throat and I gave her a nod in confirmation. I wouldn't forget about her family.
Tony had his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, "Weird brunch day, huh?"
"Very much so, yes."
The officer led us down the hallway and I walked beside Tony. Every step made me feel more and more like this was some kind of walk of shame. He had trusted me to be a part of his life and I was thanking him by forcing him to pick me up from jail. I knew I wasn't worth the effort, but moments like this still felt like a punch to the face.
"Hey, Bradshaw." I glanced to my left to see the male's drunk tank. Kyle was leaning against the bars looking like shit. His nose was still obviously broken and smudges of blood still covered his face. I narrowed my eyes at him but he continued, "You better hope the Avengers never realize their new pet—", he spat the word out knowing how much I hated it, "—is just a feral monster pretending to play nice. Otherwise you'll be out on your ass and we'll be there for payback."
Tony moved so he stood between me and the bars, "Hey, Owen Wilson, you attacked an employee of Stark Industries so you will be hearing from our lawyer, and that's me showing mercy."
He lightly pressed his hand to my back to edge me closer to the door. Still I could hear Kyle yell out from behind us, "Nothing can tame the monster inside you, bitch!"
Tony spoke to a few officers before leading me out the front door. I wondered how much bail had been, but the curiosity didn't last. One of Tony's flashy cars, a blue one, was parked right outside. He opened the passenger door and nodded with his head for me to get in. He still hadn't said a word to me since I left the cell. Not that I blamed him.
Kyle was right. The bloodlust in me was insatiable. Worse than just being a piece of scum who yearns for a fight, I was also a dirty snitch who fucked over a lot of people. Boss was the worst of the worst and he deserved what he got. He deserved worse than what he got, but I hadn't even taken the time to consider how my actions would affect people like Hammer Head. People like me who only had the ring.
"Whatever it is you're thinking you're wrong." Tony said suddenly, breaking the silence between us as he drove. I glanced at him with narrowed eyes and he met my gaze briefly. "You have that self-loathing look on your face. What is it?" I didn't answer and after a minute he moved on, "Who was that woman?"
Knowing he wasn't going to let me mope in silence, I spoke up without looking at him, "Hammer Head."
"Her name is Hammer Head?"
"Her stage name or whatever. I'm Small Fry, she's Hammer Head." I shrugged. "Because I snitched she's stuck stripping for money."
Tony shook his head, "No. Not because of you."
"Cause and effect. I selfishly wanted to save my ass—"
"Selfish?" Tony scoffed with a laugh, "Are you even capable of being selfish? I haven't seen it yet."
"Tony—"
He cut me off, "That ring was going down regardless. Clint and SHIELD were going to take it down on their own. You sharing more information on Boss saved people like Hammer Head." He shook his head. "Because of you, SHIELD knew exactly when to bust in and catch the people who deserved to be caught."
I leaned back in my seat letting his words rattle around in my brain. The logic of it all was there, but it didn't touch the guilt still stewing in my gut. He sighed, "Hey, I should've asked this earlier I'm sorry, are you alright? They didn't hurt you, did they?"
"Nah." I shook my head. "Kyle's all talk."
"Yeah, he seemed like he had a lot to say back there." Tony grumbled. "You know he's full of shit, right?"
I chuckled, "He's a dick, but technically speaking he's known me a lot longer than you."
"Aj—"
"I don't wanna talk anymore, Tony. Thanks for picking me up." I cut him off and thankfully he obliged my request. We sat in silence the rest of the way to the Tower and I wrapped the jacket around me tighter. The weight of the canvas material grounded me.
Tony parked the car and I didn't wait for him. I swung the door open and stepped out. There was no plan in my head, not right now, but I needed to move. If I stayed still for a second longer I was going to spontaneously combust. We got to the elevator and Tony hit the button for my floor and then the shared space up top. The elevator moved quick and if I wasn't in such a mood I would've thanked JARVIS. The doors opened and I hurried out.
"Aj." Tony called out. I glanced back to see him holding one hand against the doors. "Don't run."
"What?" I narrowed my eyes.
Tony held my gaze, "You're right. I haven't known you years, yet, but I've picked up on a thing or two. The important stuff." I pressed my lips together, balling my hands against my side. "I know it's your instinct to run, but we want you here. That hasn't changed. I can't tell you how many times Rhodey's had to pick me up from the drunk tank." Tony chuckled, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than give him a tight lipped smile. He sighed, "Please don't run. Can you promise me that?"
"I promise, Tony." I said softly and he gave me a smile before letting the doors close.
I felt like crying. I hadn't even known what my brain wanted, but he wasn't wrong. There was an itch at the back of my neck that told me to run. It told me to run and run and never stop. Facing emotions like this was too hard. Running was so easy. I didn't want to disappoint them again though. Not today at least.
I'd have to settle for the next best thing.
Sam hurried after Steve the moment the quinjet landed. They had planned on sticking in DC a little longer, but after Natasha called him about Aj being arrested they had cut the trip short. The intel they were supposed to collect would still be there tomorrow. He hurried his pace to keep up with Steve's long gait.
"Hey, is she ok?" Steve asked as they stepped into the building. Clint and Natasha were in the living area talking and looked up at their entrance.
Clint nodded his head, "Tony picked her up about an hour and a half ago."
"Where is she?" Steve glanced around.
"Downstairs beating the shit out of one of your bags." Natasha crossed her arms. "We've checked on her a few times, but she really doesn't want to talk about it."
Sam let his eyes travel over each worried face in the room, "What happened?"
"Jackass named Kyle Osborne picked a fight with her." Clint shook his head. "They had history. I know Eugene Morgan cut him off, but I don't know what happened between Aj and him specifically."
Sam looked across the room to where Tony was moving around his lab. The music he played was loud enough that Sam could hear the muffled bass from where he stood. It was never a good sign when that happened.
"Maybe you should go down there and check on her, Steve." Clint suggested and dropped down onto the couch defeated. Natasha nodded in agreement. Apparently, everyone else had struck out.
Sam set his hand on Steve's shoulder with a clap, "I wanna go meet her."
"Are you sure?" Steve questioned.
Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, "I don't think she's in much of a 'meet new people' kind of mood."
"Sometimes talking to a stranger is easier than someone you know." Sam shrugged and moved to the elevator. From everything he's heard about this woman from the others she had an altered view of the world and herself. It'd take talking to her to really confirm it, but his first guess was that all that trauma in her life had convinced her of some real terrible stuff.
The elevator doors open and he was greeted by pounding, loud music. Sam blinked in surprise. It was kind of like walking into Tony's lab when he was in a mood except replace AC/DC with…Linkin Park? That's what it sounded like at least.
He stepped into the training area and moved toward the training mats. Aj came into view. Her back was to him as she threw punch after punch into the bag. For someone who had so much fight in her, she was small. He finally understood the 'Small Fry' moniker. She had on a red sports bra and black spandex shorts. Sam took a step closer and despite the loud music covering his steps, Aj whipped around to look at him.
Aj's icy blue eyes widened briefly before narrowing in skepticism. Her short, brown hair was pulled into a small, low ponytail and her lips were pressed together in frustration. She dropped her arms, her hands covered in yellow boxing gloves, and the music's volume lowered via JARVIS.
"Who the hell are you?"
Sam chuckled and lifted a hand in greeting, "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. I'm Sam. Steve's told me a lot about you."
Recognition flashed in her eyes and her shoulders relaxed a bit. Aj nodded, "Right. I'm Aj. I, uh, I know I told Steve I'd get dinner with y'all tonight, but something came up. Maybe next time."
"No, I get it. You look busy." Sam shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it aside, "You wanna spar?"
Aj blinked in surprise, "What?"
"Do you wanna spar?" Sam offered her a smile. "I heard you're real good. Would love to test that for myself."
Aj hesitated, only for a second, before her lips quirked up into a small smile. Sam had a hunch the only way to get through to her was with a language he knew she spoke well. She stepped away from the bag and motioned to his right where the mat was clear of any objects.
"Now, I do need to warn you." Sam rolled his shoulders and shook his arms out, "I'm not an Avenger, but I am a step below Avenger and—"
Aj lunged forward with an elbow, and Sam spun out of the way at last minute. She began to circle around him, and he matched her pace. Aj grinned, "Sorry, almost Avenger, were you not ready?"
Sam chuckled and she lunged again. They went back and forth for a while and Sam realized no one had exaggerated her skill set at all. This wasn't like when he sparred that one time with Natasha and she immediately wiped the floor with him. He got in a few good licks. This was like he went back in time and picked a fight with a 10-year-old Natasha who he was sure could also kick his ass.
He mis-stepped and Aj caught him in the chest with a kick. The air briefly left his lungs as he hit the ground. Sam heard her laugh and he couldn't help but chuckle himself. He began to sit up when he was greeted by a bare hand. Aj stood over him with a smirk offering to help him up.
"Please tell me the Avengers didn't recruit you for your hand to hand combat skills."
Sam grabbed her hand and she pulled him up. He shook his head, "Wasn't enough that you kicked my ass, now you gotta mock me?"
"It's kind of my thing."
"And I'll have you know", Sam pointed at her, "If I had my wings this would've been a whole different fight."
Aj shook her head, "Your wings? I thought Clint was the only bird man."
"Now that's just hurtful." Sam scoffed. Aj smirked at him and pulled off her other glove. She took a few steps away before sitting down and starting to stretch. Sam left to grab two water bottles from a small fridge around the corner and tossed her one. Aj caught it with a small thanks and he sat down. "You done for the day? Already?"
Aj took a big gulp of water then chuckled, "Sparring with someone is always better than working with a bag. The bag gets repetitive. After fifteen minutes with you, I don't know…I feel a little better. More clear."
"Fighting clears things up for you?" Sam shook his head and leaned back on his hands, "Because all I feel is wiped out."
Aj shrugged and began to stretch out her shoulders, "I don't know, my thoughts get cluttered, but fighting makes it easy because then…I don't have to think." He nodded and she clicked her tongue before pointing at him. "Steve told me you did therapist work, but I just want you to know you ain't subtle."
Sam laughed, "Really? I thought I was doing pretty good."
"Nah, not at all, but you got a nice way of talking so I figured I'd stick around." Aj replied. "Plus, I wanna get along with Steve's friends."
He nodded to that and tried to shelf the curiosity of what she thought of Steve. That was for another day. One step at a time. Sam sat up a bit and tilted his head, "Does that mean I get to hear what happened today? Because I gotta say, I'm real damn curious." He motioned to her. "I mean, you shattered a glass against a guy's head. That brunch spot banned you, by the way, I don't know if you've heard or not."
Aj let out a loud laugh and it brightened all her features. She looked years younger with her wide grin. She shrugged, "I could've guessed it. Uh, I got in a fight today. It's what I do. Things were going too good so I had to, you know, throw a wrench into it."
She blamed herself for it. That was interesting in a pretty sad way. Sam shook his head, "From what I heard, and correct me if I'm wrong, but those two guys showed up and picked the fight with you. Not the other way around."
"Yeah, Kyle was the one who technically started it, but I didn't have to enjoy beating the shit out of him so much."
"You really don't like the dude, huh?"
"He's the one who introduced me to the ring." She replied nonchalantly. Sam made note of that and he knew that was only gonna make the people upstairs hate this dude that much more. "We were friends though until he stole $25,000 from Boss and then pinned it on me." Sam sucked in a sharp breath and she chuckled with a small nod. "Yeah, whatever you're picturing is exactly what happened."
Sam pressed his lips together, "I'm sorry that happened."
"Me too." Aj shrugged and pulled her knees into her chest so she could rest her chin on them, "He showed up at that brunch place to ask me for money and then when I told him I wouldn't give him Stark's cash he wanted to take me into an alley and cut out my tongue or something."
"What?" Sam cried in surprise.
Aj chuckled, "I don't know if that's what he actually planned I just heard from a friend that Boss is offering $500,000 to the person who cuts out my tongue." She gave me a one-handed finger gun and winked. "So, if you're ever short on cash…"
Sam shook his head, "I think I'll turn to selling my plasma to Red Cross first, but thanks."
Aj's smile softened and she wrapped her hands around her legs making herself as small as possible. It was a comfort thing. The poor girl was touch starved. He could see it like a neon sign above her head. Sam would guess the only real touch she ever got ended up in pain and when something like that happens the person tended to avoid touch by any means possible. They'd close in on themselves, seek their own comfort, and avoid making real connections with people.
"Nobody is upset with you." Sam said. "You know that, right?"
"I know, but they should be. It's almost worse that they're not." She scoffed and set her gaze on a spot on the floor between them. "I didn't even make it a month without screwing up."
"Aj, you didn't screw up."
Her arms tightened around herself slightly, "Dude, I was arrested today. This life they keep offering me", she motioned to the room around her with a sad smile, "I'm not worth it. I know this. I've known this my entire life, I've done some real shitty things and nobody's ever stuck around, but they don't seem to get that and I can't handle them figuring this out slowly. It'll only be more painful for me."
Sam sighed in disappointment. He had been right and that was kind of a bummer. All that trauma had twisted this poor woman's head into a pretzel. There was only so many times somebody could be told that they were worthless before they started to believe it. The worst part was it would take nearly an equal amount of time telling her she was worth it before she'd ever really begin to believe it.
"That's some bad news." Sam bobbed his head. "Are you going to be the one to tell Natasha and Clint and Tony and Bruce and even Steve that they don't deserve this life."
"W—What?"
Sam shrugged, "They do some really great stuff now. Save the world kinda shit, but they don't have clean hands. Each of them have done things that they wish they could take back, that they wish they hadn't done. Are they worthless?"
"Of course not. But it's different—"
"No, it isn't. We all have our sins, Aj." Sam said firmly. "We all work to better ourselves though. That's what separates us from people like Boss and Kyle."
Aj shook her head, "Look what I did today, I don't know if I can better myself."
Sam smiled at her, "You had a little slip up is what it sounds like. Healing isn't a linear climb. There's up and downs, but you care enough to feel about it. You care enough to want to better yourself and that makes all the difference."
She shifted in place awkwardly, but he could see her absorbing his words. That's all he could really ask for. Sam reached forward to lightly place his hand on her elbow. Aj stiffened for a second before slowly relaxing. He chuckled, "Let them comfort you. Seek it out. You deserve it, Aj."
Aj let out a sigh before smirking at him, "Is this why Steve keeps you around?"
"Probably. This and he really likes being a dick to me when we run in the mornings." Sam stood up and offered her his hand. Aj took it and he pulled her up. "Still up for dinner tonight? I promise not to use my therapy mumbo jumbo on you."
"Deal." She replied and scooped up her gloves and water bottle.
Sam lightly elbowed her in the side, "Also, can you please go upstairs and let the crew know that you're ok. Tony's blasting music in his lab, Clint and Natasha are about a second away from murdering Kyle, and Steve is really worried."
"I think I'm kinda ok with them murdering Kyle." She mumbled as they moved to the elevator. "I just can't believe they told Steve. That's so embarrassing. Y'all were busy in DC and you came all this way—"
"Hey, hey, hey." Sam held a hand up to stop her. "They care, they want to comfort, and you deserve it. You're worth it."
The elevator took them back up to the penthouse and he could see Aj fidgeting beside him nervously. She still had on only her workout clothes and didn't even have shoes on her bare feet. She looked lighter than when he had first seen her at least. The doors opened and Steve was the first thing they saw. His eyes widened in a mix of surprise and concern.
"Hey…" He said softly.
Sam glanced around but didn't see either spy, "Aw man, are we too late? Tell me they didn't go to kill someone."
"No, they're in the kitchen." Steve pointed, his eyes not leaving Aj. "How do you…Are you ok?"
Aj ignored his words, sucked in a sharp breath, and then crossed the space between them and reaching up to pull Steve into a hug. It took Steve a moment before he wrapped his arms around her in return, awkwardly trying not to let his hands touch any of her bare skin. His eyes darted to Sam questioningly and Sam just winked and gave him a thumbs up. Steve's face flushed red as he narrowed his eyes back at him.
She pulled back, giving him a pat on chest, then moved to the kitchen. Sam walked up to Steve with a smirk. Steve shook his head, "You actually pulled it off."
"I can't believe you doubted me." Sam crossed his arms. His smile faltered. "I see what you mean. She's good. I can see it in her, but…your girl needs some help."
Steve shook his head, "She's not my—what do you mean? Is she ok?"
"All that trauma left a mark. She heals quick or whatever, but…" Sam glanced over at the kitchen where Aj stepped out and then immediately moved to the stairs to get to Tony's lab. He watched her slide in and a second later the muffled music went silent. "She needs you guys a lot more than she even realizes."
Aj and Tony talked for about a minute before she stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. It would take a while before she fully believed her own worth, but this was a very good step in the right direction. If someone as touch starved as she seemed was willing to break that barrier like this… It told Sam that she was strong. He saw soldiers in the same mental and emotional state as her all the time. Tony tilted his head and said something making her laugh and lightly punch him in the side with a shake of her head.
Sam smiled to himself. She was going to be just fine.
"Why are you so sweaty?" Steve questioned. "Did you spar with her?"
"It was a good ice breaker."
"She win?"
"That—That is not relevant."