Chapter 8- Secret Of The Heart

So because we dove into this a little bit at the very end of the last chapter, it's time to dig a little into the love aspect of this story. It'll make sense once this chapter is done. It's not going to be a super long chapter, just a quick little coloring into the story. Alright! Let's do this.

When she came in the chest tubes were being removed, which is a sight no one should ever just walk into. Now in her defense, she did knock to hear talking and no response. To her that meant to come in because something was going on. So to open the door and see long, bloody drains being slowly yanked out of someone's chest, that is a sight that would make any stomach churn. She made it to opening the door before clamping both hands on her move so as to not puke all over the place. She wanted to turn away and run, but it was his face that kept her in place. He was clearly in pain, panicked over what was going on. He was going to need something to look forward once it was done, a bright spot to his current misery. Will was doing his best to coax and Rhodes was talking about how well Jay was doing, but it appeared none of it was easing Jay's discomfort and hatred for life at that moment. It was clear he needed his person, that thing that made every breath worth it. Once the puke wave died down Hailey's mind told her it was time to escape, run back to a lighter moment in time. A moment in time that she'd forever hold close and look back at it with nothing but pleasant memories.

"Today royally sucked," she confessed as she let Jay through the front door. Throwing her jacket off and to the side, she looked back at him as he closed the door, waiting for him to do the same.

"I don't want to talk about work anymore," he responded, slowly pulling his jacket off and finding a hook to hang it on.

"Okay, so what do you want to do?" She was half joking with that comment, both of them knowing what was coming next. It had become their new thing between them.

"I think you know what we're doing next." She looked up at him with that sex filled look, he ate it up and couldn't help but smirk in victory.

"Yeah, I do." And that's how it always started. He'd lean down and begin kissing her, she'd accept the kissing, slowly unbuttoning his shirt while they made out. From there it was a dance, a slow yet methodical dance. As they sauntered past the hallway and into the spot where things would open up, Jay would be totally down a shirt and in the process of removing Hailey's. By the time they hit the living room both would be shirtless, maintaining their locked lips as pants were hurriedly thrown off and tossed with no care in the world. A few minutes of deep, sweaty, hot kissing all over on the couch before they'd giggle with unadulterated joy before Jay would pick Hailey up, her locking legs behind him as the two of them made it to the bedroom. Before placing her on the bed Jay would remove her bra. She'd come back with pulling his underwear off and grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him close to her. Her underwear was always the last thing to go, always, and then for the next hour they'd become so close, so into each other, exactly what the other needed. This was their nightly routine. The location would switch up from time to time and they'd never go into work together, but every night after work this was what they did. On this particular night they were being extra loud, Hailey praying the neighbors were really out.

"Jay, not too much," she told him at one point, desperately trying to keep up with him. She wasn't sure if it was anger or stress from the day, but he was going hard. Not that she complained, dare she say she liked it, but this night felt a little different.

"Sorry, Hail," he spoke close to her ear, backing off just a bit but not letting up on the tongue action or heightened touch all over. She loved when he did that, sent her in a whole other stratosphere. This was how it went, this back and forth deep expression of love to each other, giving them exactly what they wanted, craved. But it all stopped the second Jay shot up, saying something about a shooting pain.

"What, what happened? Did I do something?" Jay was too busy rolling to his side and sitting up on the side of the bed to reply. He was clutching his chest, repeating that it hurt so much but still not telling her what was going on. Hailey went to the worst possible scenario. Jay was having a heart attack, one that was so bad they'd have to call an ambulance. She'd have to redress both of them and somehow talk the others into a totally nonsexual reason for why they were both at her place so late at night. But then, he coughed a couple times before sitting up, stretching his arms as she inched ever closer to him.

"Did I do something," she asked again?

"No, it wasn't you. Sorry, just had these weird chest pains. It's gone now. So where were we."

"Jay, you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, like new. Now come on, where were we." She could only smile and giggle as he reached back to caress her chest.

Looking back at it and seeing where they were now, it was so blatantly obvious what was going on, how careless they were that night and just about every night after that. She wondered when they'd be able to get back to that routine, if Jay would even be up for it. This surgery was more then just changing out a faulty valve for a working on, this was a shifting of things. This was an eye opener, a trip back down memory lane to the stellar father he had and how even from the grave he was effecting Jay's life. This was one of those things that altered your way of life.

"Hailey," Jay called from the bed, snapping her out of her mind trip and back to what was actually happening. She reacted by deeply inhaling, waving quick at him before taking exactly two steps into the room.

"You can come in. I won't bite I promise." And there he was, the Jay Halstead she loved ever so. Even in the middle of his misery, having drainage tubes yanked out of his chest and then being stitched up, he was looking out for her, making sure she was comfortable. What a man, her man, Hailey thought.

"So…you're well enough to have the tubes out?"

"Yeah, that's two down and like a thousand to go."

"Progress," she teased.

"Okay! Stitches are done. Just continue to try and not move anything right here. Pacing wires come out before discharge in a few days. You did great," Rhodes praised, signaling that things were complete and the torture was done for the day. Or so Jay thought. Because once Rhodes was gone Will took over the task, slowly pulling blankets down as if to sit Jay up.

"What are you doing?"

"It's time for you to sit in the chair for a little bit!"

"Oh please tell me you're joking."

"Come on, Jay. It's just a little little bit." Jay rolled his eyes, fiddling with the central line IV line in his neck as a way to cope with what was going to happen. It was a new tic he picked up in here, one that Will and Hailey weren't even sure if he was aware of what he was doing.

"You need help," she offered once blankets and pillows were set up on the chair?

"Sure! That would be awesome." Putting her things down, Hailey took the right and Will took the left, the very same set up they had a couple days ago. Remembering to gently push, the two of them had Jay sitting up on his own once again. This ascent to this position had fewer outbursts for Jay, revealing the healing process was indeed alive and well. As Jay clung to his heart pillow, Hailey remained at his side as Will made sure the two step trip from bed to chair was a smooth sailing experience.

"Ready?"

"Not really," Jay joked. Hailey stayed at the right while Will took the left, all of them soon touching down on the ground, Jay buckling under the weight of himself for a moment.

"Please don't fall," Will begged. Hailey was too panicked to say anything. After the dizzy spell subsided they were ready to move. There was the first step, and then the second, and then Jay was turned around and slowly landing on the chair's cushion.

"My back is killing me."

"Still? I have three pillows back there. Let me get another one." Hailey held Jay forward as Will got things set up, soon relaxing Jay on the chair and reclining him just a little, whatever it took for them to check off sitting up while making him comfortable.

"How's the pain? Need anything else?"

"When does the NG tube out?"

"Tonight or tomorrow I think. So in the meantime it's still just liquids. Do you want another protein drink?" Jay nodded against his growling stomach that was so loud all of them heard it. Will got things ready, complete with priming the straw and putting the cup in Jay's hands and letting him lift the couple inches to his face.

"Hailey is going to stay here with you while I go get a shower. Anything else you need?"

"No, lucky you I'm dying for a shower."

"In due time. I'll be back as quick as I can." Hailey nodded, waving to Will as he jogged out of sight. Jay sipped a few more times till the sound of drained container echoed in the room. Hailey got up from her spot on the wall to collect the trash, finding a trash can in the room and tossing the items. After that she used the bed as her seat, settling in on the edge as Jay watched her with nervous humor.

"You don't have to tiptoe. I'm really fine. Maybe sore and on a crap ton of stuff, but it's still me."

"I know, it's…you know."

"Hard to see."

"Yeah, something like that." Jay nodded, looking down at himself before attempting to speak. He got it, he fully understood her hesitation. This all was so not him, just something he or anyone ever saw happening. But it did and he was done with it and getting better. He just wished everyone understood that. That as bad as everything looked right this second, it was all temporary. The only thing that was permanent was his giant ass scar and him.

"Hailey, I get it. But it's still me. I'm still the guy you're dating and the one who loves you a lot." She looked up from her fixated spot on the floor to stare right at him. That was the first time the word love and had been associated with her. She'd told him that she loved him so many times, but response was always 'me too.' This was a huge step in their relationship, a big opening up on Jay's part.

"Really? You love me?"

"Of course! You're the one I really wanted to see when I woke up, after family of course. But when things were bad, and they still kind of are, I go back to you and all that we've done together."

"Oh no," Hailey teased.

"It's nothing bad, only great, awesome memories." Hailey swung her legs a couple times, blushing and looking back down at the floor.

"This is just something I never saw happening. And I can't help but feel like I put you here."

"What? Why would you think that." They were so similar, two peas in a pod. If the roles were reversed it would be her telling Jay none of this was his fault. So Hailey couldn't help but smirk, still not looking up at him.

"Do you not remember that night?"

"Which night, we've had a lot of them."

"The night you came to my place. It was super late and we were being a little too loud. You sat up and clung to your chest and said something hurt. Now being where we are, I can't help but feel like it's my fault."

"Hailey, this is a congenital defect. You didn't do any of this."

"But something had to set the side effects off."

"Yeah, but it wasn't you. Since it's all done, I can now tell you that that wasn't the first time I had the chest pains."

"Seriously?"

"No, I'd been having them for a few days already. Now was having wonderful sex the best thing right then? Maybe not. But I don't regret it. Do you?" Hailey shook her head.

"Then don't think it was your fault. It's not, you've only been the best help and distraction I could ask for." Hailey nodded once more, looking up at Jay with bleary eyes, if he could've he would get up and hug her, but no way that was possible.

"Come here," he asked her, holding a hand out for her to grab. She leaned over from her spot on the bed and clasped his hand in hers, both making eye contact for a moment or two.

"I love you, Hailey. It's all going to be okay." She love the tune of 'I love you,' that one perking her right up. She was the first to let go, allowing him to not break the rules of stretching himself.

"So, speaking of our thing.."

"Ah yes, no sex for four to six weeks after surgery."

"Ugh, bummer."

"It has to do with not pushing the heart and making sure everything heals up."

"Well what will we do in the meantime?" Hailey was fully joking, she was well aware that everything was going to be about recovery for quite sometime.

"I don't know. We could just sit and talk, like our old thing between us. Or we could just sleep, which wouldn't be fun for you since I can't sleep through the night yet and the pain is still bad." She laughed at that, his best attempt at humor with information.

"We'll come up with something." Hailey rose from her spot, leaning down to get eye level with Jay before giving him that look. He smirked back at her, knowing what was coming next. It wasn't quite like the kissing they did when they were alone, but it was the very thing they both needed. Only when the heart monitor ticked a little faster did they immediately let go, the two of them stifling laughs at the threat of being caught or being a reason to knock Jay out.

"Just a little something to told you over."

"Yeah, don't kill me in the process." A nurse came in, asking what was wrong as they kept their eyes glued to the screen. Jay was laid down in the chair as they all watched the monitor tick fast and faster, till his heart stopped teasing them and went back down to a normal rate. More meds were administered and Jay told to rest at some point soon. Hailey was truly doing her best to not burst out laughing.

"Sorry," she whispered once the coast was clear.

"See, this is why we can't do anything for the next month or so."

"Yes, note has been taken. Close your eyes, you heard them say you have to rest. Do you want to sit up a little more?" Jay nodded, saying that he was terrified of falling out of the chair in his current position. Being extra careful Hailey got Jay to a level he was comfortable with. One that made him relax but also not hurt his back, chest, everything else.

"Love you Hailey. And thanks," he yawned as Hailey tucked a blanket on him.

"I love you too. And I promise to not attempt to kill you anymore."

"Sounds like a plan." He was out in no time, the only movement being all the monitors and their specific beeping sounds. Hailey sat in silence on the bed in great happiness and contentment. All was right in her world, well almost right, but at least she finally knew her boyfriend and partner loved her.

Yay! Again, I said it wasn't going to be super long. Just a little intended fluff to break up the intensity of things. Next chapter we'll finally see Jay kicking it out of the hospital and too Will's place. Stay tuned.