Hermione didn't know what to think or how to feel now. Seated in Alphard Black's study with Regulus Black, waiting for Sirius Black to decide if he could see her right now or needed time. She wasn't sure what would be better. It was too many Blacks too. She had met six already today, all male and all devastated in some way or another.
Hermione felt as if she were the harbinger of doom, she wasn't though, their end was silent and took them all without obvious warning. She was here though and determined to change these things for Harry, for Sirius too and Remus. James and Lily. Regulus. Everyone, but she had told Harry she would try, that she would let Sirius help her.
She was scared of seeing him too. What if Sirius wasn't someone she knew, didn't feel like someone she knew. He was the first person she was meeting that she had met before and it was frightening. He had come to mean so much, a symbol of what was wrong and the heaviest weight on Harry. While she loved her Sirius and knew him the best of the Blacks, she was aware that she didn't know him now.
Harry had been dismissive of this, sure she knew enough to convince him, to make him careful and to assure the same mistakes weren't made. That was true but she had other things to do and felt like she needed him, to have someone she could be her with, a friend. That was a lot to ask from him, an angry defensive Sirius Black. That's what she expected, young and rash, in his prime of idiocy as Remus and him phrased it. Hopefully this task, and that there was an actual path to success, would help with that too.
They did have a focus, bring down Voldemort and make sure his godson is born. She was sure he would be on board with those two goals, if she could get him to listen to her.
Her heart was beating faster and she knew this was worse than meeting the room full of Blacks had been, worse than five similar but different pairs of grey eyes examining her.
Their opinions of her meant nearly nothing in comparison to his. Remus' too, she wanted to meet him now and brew wolfsbane with him. He always demurred but she knew how smart he was and she had practiced after the war. If Sirius didn't trust her or they couldn't rub along then she would lose that and Harry too. Even if she saved the House of Black, she would be alone.
It was a lot and she was trying to be determined instead of anxious.
"How did you know it was me?" Regulus asked into the silence and she looked at him. He had his bored face on, it was surprising when he pulled it out so swiftly earlier and she wondered what he was hiding. Regulus meant the Horcrux and she raised a brow in surprise, wasn't he planning on writing a note?
"Was the note a last minute addition?" His brow went up in return at her question and she thought he was surprised. Not shocked but that he genuinely hadn't written or made a draft of the note yet, perhaps not even considered doing so.
"I left a note? In the cave?" He sounded sceptical and she wasn't sure if it was okay to laugh or not. This was a funny moment and he wasn't upset right now, not actively anyways. She was sure he was, today had born more than anyone expected as far unpleasant truths were concerned.
"In the locket you left in its place." She answered and felt the levity lessen.
"What did it say?" Regulus leaned forward and she flicked her eyes over his face and still nearly perfect hair. How was that possible, Sirius' hair had always been a mess, even thought he was probably the physically cleanest man she knew, once he could be. Not a mess maybe but not nearly perfect waves like Regulus had.
Hermione thought about it and didn't know if she should say what the note had actually said. It had a hopeless quality to it that had been heartbreaking when they had first read it years ago and now was sort of scary.
"What if you write one and we will compare?" Her suggestion was kind of morbid but she was curious and he was so skeptical that he had done so.
"Now I know though, it would be written for you not for him." Regulus sounded as if he couldn't believe she thought he might be able to write the same thing and she felt they were their ages at that moment.
"Here I thought a Black loved a challenge." It was a silly taunt and it got a reaction. Regulus sat back into his chair and imperiously raised a brow at her.
"Most don't challenge us to begin with." It was said reasonably, but arrogantly, and she couldn't stop her giggle.
"Your father would pull that off better." The affronted look was funny and she chuckled softly, unable to help it and feeling glad for the distraction. Part of her mind was waiting and thinking but part of her was laughing with a young man who had been dead when she woke up this morning.
Whoosh. The floo flared and she made herself not look toward it but quickly put down her cup and palmed the picture of Harry. She did look up at Regulus' face and knew Sirius was here. His face didn't show the bored mask but it was a mask and she felt her palms start sweating, felt herself flush too.
Now Sirius was here and she didn't know what to do, she didn't even know how to turn around.
"Sit down, I'll get you a drink." Alphard's deep voice broke what felt like a long silence.
All she could do was look at the wall of bookshelves behind the couch in front of her and wait. She wanted to close her eyes but refused to break like that right now. This was her first impression and those were important. This felt like maybe the most important meeting for her in this time.
There he was, eyes flicking between Regulus and her as he slowly sat down on the low dark brown leather couch. These rooms seemed to contain a lot of leather. The thought was fleeting as her eyes locked on the jacket and remembered seeing him with it. Remus has taken it, probably for the smell. Just the thought made her throat close up and she finally made herself look at his face.
Sirius. It was him and she could feel her hands shaking. The chin length loose black curls that had clearly had his hands in them, and the sharp eyes. She didn't think he had shaved that day and he was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt under his jacket. It was surreal. Sirius was here and staring at her as intently as she was him. She wished she was wearing jeans now, she was envious of his casual clothing.
"Sirius." It came out of her mouth on a breath and he sat back slightly from her, as if he were surprised, and she felt like an idiot.
"I'm sorry, what's your name?" He asked her and his eyes flicked to Alphard before back to her.
"Hermione." Her effort was worth it when her voice came out even and she made herself be still, keeping her magic as even as she could and project calm instead of everything she felt.
Sirius had never met her, didn't know her. He was so young and he was every bit as gorgeous as he had once told her he was. Sirius and her had argued and taunted too but he had been good for her confidence at an awkward feeling sixteen.
"Hermione." Her name was left hanging expectantly and she wondered what he was thinking. The covenant. Families. It clicked or she wondered if that was what he was thinking.
"Granger. Hermione Granger. Arcturus thinks I'm a Shafiq squib throw off I think but I was raised muggleborn." It was not hard to speak to him but hard not to just keep talking.
"Muggleborn. A Shafiq." Sirius repeated and she wanted to point out he wasn't giving a very good impression of his vaunted ability to keep up but didn't.
Then he looked at her before the older wizard and then his brother. She didn't though, just watched him and tried to let her feelings of relief buoy her up. It wasn't really fair that her Harry didn't get to see him like this. His would though, this one, the one with a family and she felt her determination and resolve settle her some. Her hands stopped shaking so noticeably and she released the grip she had on her robes.
"Alphard said you knew me." It was a statement and she smiled, maybe it was sad or he just understood it couldn't be good because there was no levity and mostly wariness that she could see on his face. It wasn't encouraging but it wasn't surprising either.
"Could we talk alone? Or could I ward our conversation? There are things that affect all the Blacks and things that affect you most of all. They are the things that I want too and I don't think either of us would like an audience." He didn't reply, he was searching her face. She could see him looking and then had an idea.
"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." She said it quietly but knew the other two heard, he was at least five feet from her. The reaction was instant and he was gripping his thighs. This wasn't Black business but Marauder business and she knew he would take that seriously, probably without a comment on his name.
Hermione could feel the change in atmosphere as the magic surged around them, Sirius' in reaction to her words and implication but the other two in response to him.
"It's fine." She kept her eyes on Sirius but spoke to the other two wizards watching them. Regulus especially, his presence probably wouldn't help. Sirius knew about the mark on his arm.
"I'd like to speak more privately than this." It was said firmly and she nodded her acquiescence.
"Wherever you want." She meant it and he seemed surprised by her words but nodded and then looked to Alphard.
"I would prefer she didn't leave here yet." The man said and she caught sight of Regulus' firm nod but didn't react. She would leave if Sirius wanted to and she tried to show him that.
"I will leave." Regulus said firmly and stood. She turned to face him then and returned the nod she got.
"I'll see you tomorrow. We have plans to revise." Hermione said it firmly and Regulus met her eyes differently before glancing at his brother and then back to her.
"I will await your summons." He gave a short bow and she didn't feel as if it were stupid which was kind of funny. Then her eyes were on the man across from her again.
"I will give you two the room if you would prefer that." Alphard spoke reluctantly, or she thought it was, and Sirius flicked his eyes to the older wizard before back to her.
"Can you protect a conversation from a Black in their home?" She thought this a genuine question and she nodded.
"As far as I know. Certainly if he does not try to break them. We could experiment another time." This got a firm nod and so she put up their, hers and Harry's, wards when Alphard moved toward his desk and let Sirius probe the magic when she was finished. He had watched her carefully and she knew two were Black wards, no doubt that was noticed.
"I'm not sure how to begin. I want to tell you all about the reason I know you personally. I don't want to make this harder though so however you want to talk is fine with me." It felt awkward but needed and he nodded as if it weren't a stupid thing to say so she could only wait and look at him, young and unbroken, alive and here with her.
"Will I like how you know me?" He sounded curious and she did smile then. She bit her lip and tried to keep it, and the tears she knew weren't far off, under control.
"Yes, so much." It was all she could say and he nodded and sat forwards, hair falling forwards as he did so, elbows on his knees and his face was intent.
"All I brought with me is my wand and this one shrunken picture." She pulled her hand out and felt it in her hand, so small and hers. Harry had chosen it though and it was for this moment, to show Sirius.
Hermione made herself open her fist and pointed her wand carefully at the picture. Then it was full size and she looked at it.
Harry and her were laying on the grass. He was holding the camera and they were looking at each other, smiling and then they both turned to the camera and the smiles were different. Still there, but less than they had been when they were nearly grinning at each other. There he was, her Harry, eighteen years old and just putting the weight back on his face after the war. Messy hair and those bright green eyes behind his post war glasses. She wished she could step into the picture or pull him out but the silence from the man across from her reminded her why she was here and looking at the picture. So she touched it gently and handed it over.
"Prongs." Sirius said quietly and then she knew he noticed the eyes and he was flicking his eyes between the picture and her.
"Harry James Potter was born July 31st 1980. He is your godson and my best friend." That wasn't very many words but it was everything. It was everything for Sirius and for her. It was everything for Wizarding Britain too, or it had been. This time it wouldn't be. Harry would grow up with parents and a godfather. With her too, somehow she would do it.