Chapter 9
Charlie woke at the sound of the big door of the headquarters banging shut. He wondered who'd arrived this late, it must have been almost 2 am. He himself had only gone to bed about an hour ago. There had been a meeting of some members of the order tonight. Now that Sirius had been killed, they had been discussing alternative places to use at the headquarters of the order. Nobody had wanted to admit it, but the place seemed even scarier without Harry's godfather. The discussion had gone way into the night and he, his brother Bill, Remus, and Tonks had decided to stay the night. And he was glad that the meeting had been held tonight. It kept his thoughts away from a place that they wanted to go to so badly, but where only pain was waiting for him.
Charlie was just about to grab his flask of firewhiskey for another sip to help him sleep, when he heard someone (Remus?) call his name from downstairs. With a grunt he got up and walked down the stairs. When he got to the entrance hall he was almost convinced that he must be dreaming. Tonks was standing in the middle of the entrance hall, her wand stretched out in front of her, her mouth open. Remus was standing closer to him, slightly to the left. His wand was not out. And by the door stood Holly. Her dark hair was hanging in tangles down her face, which looked paler than he'd ever seen it. There were dark shadows under her eyes, set off even more by the red lipstick she was wearing. And she was in a wedding dress.
"Holly?" He said gently. Charlie thought she looked mad. Had she been cursed? Remus flinched once, obviously not having heard him come down the stairs. Tonks was looking at him, her wand still pointed at Holly. Charlie thought that she must think for Holly to be under some sort of spell as well.
Slowly he walked towards Holly, his hands up where Holly could see them. When he had reached her, he carefully put his hands on her shoulder. "Holly?" He said again. Holly met his eyes and burst into tears. Charlie pulled her towards him and she was now sobbing against his chest. "It's okay." He said, holding her tight.
"Will you be alright, Charlie?" Remus said behind him. Charlie just nodded and he could hear him and Tonks move back towards the kitchen. Charlie carefully picked Holly up and carried her to his room upstairs where he sat her on the small single bed.
"Holly?" Charlie tried again. And finally Holly reacted and looked at him, mascara running down her face and her lipstick smeared. "Did he hurt you?" Charlie asked.
"No." Holly bit her lip. "We were in his bedroom. After, you know, the wedding."
Charlie swallowed. He was not prepared for this. He did not want to hear about this. He wanted Holly to leave again, but also to never let her go.
"I could not do it. And I don't know whether you even want me still. " Holly wiped her eyes, smearing her make up even more.
"Holly, there's nothing in this world I want more than you." Charlie said, and it was the truth. "But what happens now? He'll know you disappeared on him again. On your wedding night."
"He won't. Before anything could happen, I…"
Charlie's eyes widened. Had she done something to him? Surely she hadn't killed him?
"I put him under the imperius curse."
Charlie involuntarily moved back from her. "You did what?"
"I had to! I could not bear him touching me." Holly had a mad gleam in her eyes. Charlie tried not to show it, but he was almost scared of her. "It will be okay, won't it? In a way, it's perfect. I will just keep him under. Then we can be together."
She looked up at him, her eyes hopeful but also full of fear. Charlie needed a moment to digest all this. How could she be so indifferent about the thought of having put another human being under the imperius curse? Because Charlie knew that all her tears were her being afraid of his reaction. There was not one bit of guilt that she felt for casting the unforgivable curse.
"We'll figure it out." He said eventually, pulling Holly closer. He did not want her to see the worry in his eyes.
Charlie woke up to Holly standing by the window and staring into nothing. The wedding dress was nowhere to be seen and she was back to wearing jeans and a dark green jumper. This was how he liked her best. Just looking like a normal girl and not the pureblood death eater.
"Holly?" He said softly, not sure what state she would be in this morning after all that had happened yesterday.
Holly turned to face him and she still looked pale but much calmer than last night.
"Good morning."
Charlie sat up and Holly came to sit down next to him on the small bed.
"Do you want to go downstairs for breakfast?" Charlie said, not really sure what else to say. There was a distance between them that he hadn't felt before. Maybe doing something normal like having breakfast would help bring them back closer again.
"I don't know, Charlie. It's probably best if I go without seeing any of the others." Holly looked down at her feet. "Especially after last night."
Charlie grabbed her hands. They were ice cold.
"What are we going to do, Holly? I did mean what I said back in Bill's flat. Us being together is a stupid idea." Charlie held her hands tighter when she was trying to pull them away. "But that doesn't change the fact that I love you."
"I love you too. And that is why I did what I did." Holly looked up at him, determination on her face. "I will find a better way to deal with Barnaby."
Charlie kissed her gently. He did not want to think about what she meant. Because even if he would never admit it, deep down he wanted her to do whatever it took so that they could be together. And he hated himself for it.
After Holly had disapparated, Charlie got dressed and made his way down to breakfast. He hoped that the others had left already and he could just be by himself for a while. But when he entered the kitchen, Bill, Remus and Tonks were deep in conversation over cups of tea. He said morning, grabbed a couple of pieces of toast and sat down.
"What happened?" Tonks asked. Remus and Bill were suddenly very busy with their cups of tea.
Charlie sighed but told them about how Holly had spent her wedding night.
"She used the imperius curse?" Remus said and Charlie did not like the look on his face one bit. It looked too much like how he had felt last night.
"She didn't know what else to do." Charlie said defensively.
"How do you feel about all that? I thought you hadn't been seeing her since last summer?" Tonks kept prodding.
Charlie exchanged a brief look with Bill.
"Well, that's not exactly right. We've been together until August but last night was the first time I have seen her since then." Charlie plucked his piece of toast into little crumbs. He did not look up but could feel the looks his friends exchanged over his head.
"And what is going to happen now?" Bill said, speaking for the first time.
"I don't know. I can't not see her. We'll just have to be careful." Charlie said, still not looking up. "Maybe it'll work out in the end."
Charlie and Bill entered the ministry of magic through the visitor entrance on Fenchurch Street. Bill needed to drop off some papers from Gringotts and had more or less forced Charlie to come with him. Charlie had reluctantly agreed, it was not like he had anything else to do apart from sitting around and waiting to hear from Holly who had only sent him a quick message via her house elf to say that she was okay but needed to sort things out before she'd be able to see him.
It was the first Monday after Halloween and not very busy. Charlie and Bill had their wands checked and a visitor's badge attached to their jumpers before waiting for the elevator to get to the goblin liaison office on the fourth level.
Suddenly even the few conversations around them started to die down and the ministry workers parted to let a tall, darkly dressed wizard and a beautiful witch through. The wizard did not deem anyone around them worthy enough to look at and had his gaze fixed on a point just above Charlie's head. The witch however stared at him with her lips slightly apart. Her dark hair was artfully braided and she was wearing long black robes that made her skin look even paler. Several wizards looked at her appreciatively. But she only had eyes for Charlie.
"Is that Holly?" Bill whispered next to him. "She looks so different, like she's dressing up as somebody else."
"She does not look different. That's how she always looks." Charlie said to his brother, but not able to stop looking at Holly. "When she's with us, that's when she's dressing up like somebody else."
With a ping the elevator doors behind them opened and Charlie and Bill entered. For a moment Holly seemed to hesitate but then her and Barnaby followed them in. Bill pressed for level four and Holly for level three.
"Holly, my love, what time does your uncle expect us?" Barnaby said into the silence of the elevator.
"In a few minutes, Barnaby." Holly said, her voice void of any emotion.
Charlie and Bill looked at each other, both feeling very uncomfortable with the situation. They reached level three, but before the couple got off, Holly turned around to the brothers.
"Your father's friends may be interested in visiting a certain shop in Knockturn Alley. Some of my friends have been browsing there a lot lately."
The elevator snapped shut and started moving again instantly to take him and Bill further down to the goblin liaison office.
"What is she playing at?" Bill asked his brother.
"Well, obviously the order should be investigating what death eaters are looking for at Borgin and Burkes."
"Not that. I got that. But have you looked in Lee's eyes? He's quite obviously under the imperius curse. I thought you said she was going to sort it out?"
Charlie suddenly felt very cold. "I didn't notice it. Maybe you're just more sensitive towards it with being a curse breaker?"
"Well how long do you think it'll take you know who to work out that one of his death eaters is under the imperius curse?"
The elevator pinged and Charlie and Bill stepped out onto the fourth floor of the ministry of magic. It was slightly busier down here and Charlie hoped that Holly wouldn't run into too many people on her way to her uncle's office. Then he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What's wrong?" Bill asked.
"They weren't going to her uncle's office. He's on the fifth level, where the international magical trading standard's offices are. They got off on the third level."
"So?" Bill looked confused at what Charlie was trying to get at.
"Well, Lee thought that's where they were going. So Holly is up to something. What could she want on the third level? What's there?" Charlie made to walk back to the elevators to read the sign. But Bill grabbed the sleeve of his jumper.
"It's the department of magical accidents. The obliviator headquarters are there."
Charlie's eyes widened.
"She's going to do something stupid. I've got to stop her." Charlie rushed back to the elevators. Bill joined him. "No, you go to the goblin's office. It'll be easier for me to go unnoticed if I'm by myself."
Bill looked reluctant but then turned back around and made his way towards the offices.
Charlie entered the elevator. Luckily nobody else was in it and he pushed the button for the third level. Once he got there, the floor was absolutely deserted. Charlie took his wand out of his pocket and walked towards the signposted obliviators' office. He entered the third door down the left and grew even more concerned when the help desk was empty. It was eerily quiet and he could hear voices coming from the first door after the help desk. He snuck up to it and emptied his pockets for one of the twin's extendable ears. Charlie let it unroll under the door and put the other end in his ear.
"And why would obliviate not work?" He heard Holly's voice asking.
"Well, Miss Burr, I'm sorry, I mean Mrs Lee, the obliviate charm would just not do. You see, that one only erases certain memories. It cannot falsify or modify somebody's memories. But, and we are speaking purely theoretical, there is charm that can plant a false memory into someone's mind. But it's dark magic. I myself do not know the incantation." A squeaky voice answered her.
"But there is a spell." Holly sounded relieved. "And, still purely theoretical, how would one go about finding this spell?"
"Miss Burr, I don't think you should look for it. I apologise, Mrs Lee, I mean. Implanting a false memory into somebody's mind, and especially doing it over a longer period of time, will drive that person insane if it is not done perfectly. Imagine not doing it properly just once. That person will realise that this one memory is not theirs and they will start to question everything. They will not trust their own mind anymore. It would drive them mad." The wizard Holly was talking to sounded terrified. "Imagine playing with someone's sanity like that."
"It is only theoretical, Mr Swanson. No need to worry." Her voice was trying to sound calm and reassuring, but Charlie thought she sounded eager. Too eager. "And are you sure, you have never heard the incantation? Never seen it written down somewhere?"
"I'm sorry, Mrs Lee. I have not. It's forbidden." The wizard, Mr Swanson, swallowed audibly.
"Very well. How is your family? All well, I hope?" Charlie shivered at the sound of her voice. He, just like surely Mr Swanson as well, had heard the implications of that question.
"Yes, thank you for asking, Mrs Lee." There was the sound of paper rustling. "I just remembered. You might want to look into this further." Charlie heard Holly fold a piece of paper and the noise of her putting it into her purse.
"I appreciate this, Mr Swanson. I will not forget your help in this matter." More rustling. "I better be going now. Barnaby, get up."
Charlie quickly rolled the extendable ear back up. With three big steps he was out of the office and at the elevator. He was not sure whether he was breathing hard from hurrying out of there or from what he had just heard.
Charlie took a look around the darkly furnished living room. It was so immaculately clean that he subconsciously tucked in his shirt, aware that he was the most untidy thing this room had ever seen.
"I don't think I should be here." He said eventually.
"Don't be silly, Charlie. It's my house as well. And Barnaby is not here, he's at work." Holly sounded nervous.
Charlie had not told her about what he had overheard at the ministry. It had been a week since they had run into each other there and this was the first time they'd seen each other since. He was desperate to hear about it from Holly without having to ask but he also did not want it to spoil them being able to spend time together. When Holly had sent a message with her house elf earlier this morning Charlie had not been sure at all whether he should come to her and Barnaby's home in Windsor. Although the wizard was not here, Charlie could almost feel his dark presence.
"Right. What were you doing at the ministry last week anyway? I have passed on your message to my father by the way." Charlie tried his best to sound nonchalantly.
"Good." Holly gestured for him to sit down on the sofa with her. "We were just visiting my uncle. There is a trade deal with Latvia that my uncle wants Barnaby to be in charge of."
Charlie sighed. Why could she not be honest with him? "And he'll be able to do that whilst under the imperius curse?"
Holly regarded him for a moment. "He is not under the imperius curse anymore."
"What did you do to him, Holly?" Charlie tried his best not to sound too agitated. "I followed you to the obliviators' offices. I heard what you were talking about with that wizard Swanson."
The colour drained from Holly's face and she stood up quickly. "I told you I was going to sort it out. So I did."
"What did you do, Holly? Did you find the spell?" Charlie brazed himself for her answer.
"Yes, I did find the spell. Swanson gave me the name of the book I would find it in. And Snape managed to find a copy for me." Holly sat back down and looked at him pleadingly. "You understand why I had to do it, don't you?"
Charlie sighed again. Of course he understood. And he was not so much disgusted with her for doing it but with himself, for seeing the necessity of it.
"I do." He said eventually, almost whispering it. He pulled Holly closer, suddenly feeling the need to touch her, to remind himself why they were doing all of this.
Charlie returned to the headquarters in the late afternoon and was surprised to see his former potions professor sitting by himself in the kitchen. Snape looked awful. He was even paler than usual, his greasy hair looking even greasier. There was a large glass with an amber liquid in front of him. When Charlie got closer he could smell the firewhiskey not just in the glass but also coming off the Slytherin head of house.
"Sit down, Weasley." Snape said, without looking at him. Charlie was not sure how he had known it was him. "Your mind is an open book." Snape added and with a flick of his wand, conjured another glass. Charlie grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey off the kitchen side and sat down opposite Snape.
"Are you feeling it yet?" Snape said, his voice heavy but still clear.
"Feeling what?" Charlie asked. He'd never seen Snape like this.
Snape filled Charlie's glass as well as topping up his own. "The disgust. The disgust of loving someone who is so dark and twisted."
"I don't know what you mean." Charlie took a sip from his drink, appreciating the burn following the liquid down his throat.
"Oh you know what I mean." Snape now sounded almost cheerful. "And you don't even know half of what she's done yet."
"I know everything. She told me about the imperius curse and the memory charm. And Holly has only done that so we can be together." Charlie could feel himself getting angry. What was Snape playing at?
Now Snape laughed outright. Charlie had never heard him laugh. It was a horrible, joyless sound.
"You know nothing, Weasley. The curse and the spell are only the tip of the iceberg." Snape drained his glass of firewhiskey. "You don't know what he makes all of us do. What he has made her do. It would freeze your blood if you'd know. Dark things, Weasley. Terrifying things. " Snape considered him for a moment. "Miss Burr has always been a keen and quick learner. Do you know that she was top of the year when she graduated Hogwarts?"
Charlie just shook his head. He had no memory of her at Hogwarts.
"Oh yes, Weasley, she is a very gifted witch. And he knows that. And he has taught her spells that even I would hesitate to attempt." Snape filled up his glass again. "Did you know that there was a spell that can turn the skin inside out?" He took another sip, while Charlie could do nothing but stare at the professor. "It's a difficult spell. You really have to mean it for it to work." Again, Snape drained the rest of his glass. "But obviously you and Miss Burr do not talk about these things when you are busy playing house. Busy pretending that the world is not falling apart around you. Because you are selfish and stupid." Abruptly Snape stood up. "And you must be blind, Weasley. Blind to not see her for what she really is. Miss Burr is dark and twisted. And this silly obsession you two have with each other is going to get you both killed."
Snape gave him one last look filled with hate before leaving the kitchen. Charlie sat still for a very long time.