This is not a chapter. I've written chapters before. What I've wrought here is pure chaos.

...I joke, but seriously, this is one of the most chaotic things I've ever written.

Chapter 9…

Legoshi darted through the streets, trying to find something, ANYTHING to get him out of this situation sooner. He then spotted a scooter, laying abandoned in an alleyway. Being naïve, but not a complete fool, he put on the helmet before taking it out for a spin.

Near the town square, a portly, balding man sat at a stand with a headset, microphone, and switchboard in front of him, speaking in an even, soothing voice, "This is Frasier Krane, here from scenic, rustic Gravity Falls on this splendid October day. And I just want you to know I'm listening. Roz, who's our first caller?"

"On line one, it's Mike Nelson who's also in Gravity Falls. He says he saw an actual werewolf." Came a woman's voice from a speaker.

"Wonderful time of year." Frasier murmured, opening the line, "Hello, Mike. I'm listening."

"Hey, Dr. Krane. I was just going around with my two robot friends and I SWEAR I saw a werewolf riding a scooter around. Now, CROW says it's not NEARLY as strange as the one movie where it was driving a car and Tom's warning me about turning into a Were-CROW again, but what do you think, Doc?"

After having a look that said 'Where do I find these kooks?', Frasier cleared his throat, "Well, Mike, I believe that this time of year can make one…perceive such things, especially in a town that has this reputation. But, in my opinion, you should remind yourself that this is the real world. While strange things happen, there are no such things as werewolves on foot, let alone riding scooters—"

Legoshi rode right by at that point, yelling as he did so. Frasier watched as he rode by with a shocked expression. He then took a deep breath, "Look, Mike…I think I have someone I can refer you to. And…I'll probably meet you in the waiting room."

Elsewhere, Fran and Alf spotted something—a motorcycle. With a passenger car, too. They looked at each other, smiled, and promptly hijacked it. Ariel, meanwhile, yelled as she was pursued by a police car, still stuck in her cart. She turned and swerved her improvised escape vehicle, trying to shake her pursuer, but to no avail.

Fran and Alf's path, while free of pursuit by the lawmen, had its own fair share of troubles. Like a road-block jutting out of the ground. The alien and artificial human screamed as the motorcycle slammed into it, splitting the side-car off from the bike and sending Alf careening down a completely different path from Fran.

Alf looked around, hurriedly, as his side-car flew through the streets and up towards a junkyard.

Fran, though, yelped and shouted as her motorcycle sped through a grocery store…sending her straight through a hot dog clearance sale. Though she found that a more delicious development as she chewed on the thoroughly-processed meats.

Alf's course sent him hurtling through the refuse and waste unwanted by the townspeople. He passed by teenagers, giving brief introductions as he did so and passed by a gnome with a white beard.

"Schmebulock." The gnome said as Alf went straight past him.

"ALF!" the alien yelled back.

A cashier in the grocery store was handing a burglar what little cash they had in the register. The robbery was cut short, however, by…what looked like a mauve-haired woman wearing a bridal gown and had a golden horn and fins on her head burst through on a motorcycle, slammed into the burglar so hard that he was sent flying right into the police station and knocked over a hot dog vendor's cart. Said woman promptly swiped one and began applying mustard.

Such was the recent history of Gravity Falls that this woman only reacted with, "Well, that's weird."

Meanwhile, Alf sped through the dump to a makeshift ramp. With a terrified yell, the alien wheeled down it and was sent flying into the air.

With Ariel, the police were searching for the little mermaid. They looked everywhere near the lake—the boats, the shack, even that realistic-looking mermaid statue.

"Eh, nowhere near here, Durland." Said the chief—a squat, black man with sunglasses.

"Wanna go get some pancakes?" asked his deputy.

"Get outta my head." The chief said before driving off.

The 'statue' snickered as she lowered her hands, watching as they left her behind, none the wiser.

Her mirth was short-lived as Alf hit the ground in a side-car and immediately rode off, carrying her along. The two smiled at each other before clinging to each other as the side-car continued speeding out of control.

Fran, meanwhile, had finished her hot dog while still having no control over her motorcycle. She was taking this oddly well…on the outside. Inside, she was screaming in terror and wishing her creator had given her a slightly stronger build. Maybe a heavy mace, too. That would act as a good anchor here.

She narrowly brought the bike to a screeching halt as she saw a little girl crossing the street. She was pale, probably East Asian, with thick glasses and a green sweater. She waved and Fran, being a polite monster, waved back with a friendly smile.

"Nice kid." Fran commented…moments before the missing side-car slammed into her and took her careening away. She looked around and saw it had Alf and Ariel in it. She was reunited with her friends! How great!

Unfortunately, what mirth she found was cut short by the side-car spinning until it tipped and sent the three flying right into the middle of a parking lot. Right as the police car came to a halt.

"Finally, our police skills have paid off." Said the chief.

"No good, coppers! You won't take us alive!" Alf shouted. After a moment, he said, rather flatly, "What a stupid threat…"

But all was not lost! At the top of the hill was Legoshi, astride his magnificent scooter! The wolfman's look intensified as he began rolling down, yelling as loud as he could as he sped toward his friends. Ariel, Alf, and Fran cheered as Legoshi came towards them. They all grabbed on as they sped off to freedom!

…Though, "freedom" here meant a rather dilapidated-looking building. With a demolition crew just outside of it. And the man in charged happened to push the plunger.

KA-BOOM!

With a powerful explosion, the building was collapsed while the four monsters were sent sailing through the air. All of them were screaming their heads off.

With a series of heavy THUDS, they landed just outside a forest. Legoshi groaned as he shook his head, clearing the cobwebs from his mind. Ariel brushed her hair out of her face while Alf groaned as he came to. Fran grunted…showing that her arms, legs, and lower torso had broken off.

"Well, that's you all over." Alf said before laughing. Fran growled. Whatever she meant to say, Alf immediately conceded the point, "Yeah, too soon. Don't worry, I'll get ya back together!"

While the alien began working to reassemble Fran, Legoshi looked up at the tree. He saw another poster and tore it off.

"Joker's House of Hilarious Horrors…" Legoshi read off while looking at the forest. While Alf reassembled Fran, Ariel looked on with a worried expression.

"We're going in there, aren't we?" Alf asked, timidly.

"Yeah. We are. Come on, guys. We've gotta save Ben and Alice." Legoshi said. Fran picked up Ariel and followed after him with Alf just behind them

None of them noticed the Mystery Shack had been just behind them this whole time.