"Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are."

― André Aciman, Call Me by Your Name

He apparated to the gates of Hogwarts, the wards preventing anyone except the Headmaster to actually apparate into the school grounds. He passed through the gates and quickly made his way toward the castle, his legs taking him where he needed to go without him actually thinking about it.

His mind was buzzing with possibilities, impossible as they seemed. He couldn't help but think about the stag he had seen; it had looked exactly like his old one, and the reason behind it.

Maybe there was hope, still, a voice in the back of his mind whispered, the voice he didn't even try to silence. He couldn't do that now, running as he was toward Severus's office. Because he knew, he just knew that he was right. That feeling deep down in his stomach that had told him Voldemort was after the Stone in his first year, or that Draco was a Death Eater in his sixth was now telling him that he was the reason Severus's Patronus had changed.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking and Harry was on his way to getting his heart broken, this time irrevocably, but he needed to know. He needed to know once and for all if there was any chance that Severus could see him as more than a colleague or a friend.

And if he was wrong, then he will deal, but if he was right...

Merlin, if he was right...

Before Harry even realized he found himself in front of the gargoyle, whispering the password and climbing up the stairs, his hands shaking as he noticed that the doors were open.

He stepped into the office, his eyes falling on the man he was there to see, although the man himself hadn't noticed his arrival yet.

"It's a stag. Your Patronus, it...it's a stag.", he said quietly.

Severus startled at the sound of his voice, his eyes flying up from the book clutched in his hand, widening slightly at the sight of Harry.

He remained silent for a moment, gazing intently at Harry, his face a mask, but his eyes, his eyes were on fire.

"Yes."

"Like mine used to be."

Severus paused, clearing his throat as he set the book away, before standing up and coming around the table to stand in front of him, his eyes never once leaving Harry's.

"Yes, Harry. Exactly like yours."

"Oh.", Harry sighed, his legs shaking as he took a step forward, a step closer, his eyes searching Severus's face, trying to gauge his reaction.

"Is it... I mean... Did it change...why?"

"Why did yours?", Severus asked, stepping even closer, one of his hands rising up to brush a lock of Harry's hair out of his face.

Harry's eyes closed, a shudder wracking through his body at the feeling of those fingers touching him. He had dreamed about them, fantasized, and yet nothing, nothing had come even close to how he felt in that very moment.

But, he needed to know.

"I need to know. Severus, please, I... I need to hear you say it. Pleas...", he was unable to finish, as Severus's hand that had been touching his hair slipped behind his neck and pulled him closer, their lips smashing together, making Harry lose all sense.

He was floating as Severus devoured his mouth, the only thing keeping him from getting lost in the sea of emotions, Severus; his lips, his hands that were clutching him so tightly he knew there would be bruises there tomorrow. He couldn't wait, he couldn't wait to see them, feel them every time he moved, a physical proof that Severus had kissed him.

"Does this answer your question?", Severus asked once they separated, Harry blinking stupidly at him as he tried to remember his own name.

"I think you'll need to do that again, you know, just to be sure I got it right.", Harry murmured, as he pressed a thumb over Severus's bottom lip feeling elated to be able to do that, before a low moan escaped his throat when Severus sucked it into his mouth, his tongue wrapping around it for a second before he gently bit the pad of it.

"You'll kill me if you stop.", he murmured, as Severus pulled him closer once again, kissing down his neck as his fingers played with the buttons of his shirt. He glanced up, a question, and Harry shakily nodded, feeling more nervous than ever before.

What if he wasn't enough? Too skinny, or too gangly? Too inexperienced, too young.

"Stop thinking. Just feel. Feel what you do to me.", Severus whispered, taking one of Harry's hands and pulling it down between them, making Harry groan once he felt just how hard Severus was.

He closed his eyes, taking a big breath while gathering his famous Gryffindor courage, before he took hold of Severus's shirt and pushed him back until his back hit a wall, pressing him into it as he kissed him.

He moved away from his lips, leaving a trail of kisses down Severus's jaw and neck as his fingers quickly made their way down his shirt, unbuttoning it. He moved lower still, kissing Severus's collarbone, before biting one of his nipples, making the man moan out loud, the sound of it music to Harry's ears.

He had done that.

Harry looked up, his eyes connecting with Severus's as he slowly slid down to his knees, unbuttoning the older man's pants, and making Severus's eyes widen at the motion.

"You don't have to do that Harry.", Severus quickly said, grabbing his hands, making Harry smile at him.

"I know. But I want to. Merlin, I want to. I've been imagining this, you since I was fifteen years old. Please, let me."

Severus groaned, his head falling back as his grip on Harry's hands loosened, enabling Harry to finish undressing him.

Harry moaned as he looked at him once he was finished, feeling as if all of his fantasies were coming true. Severus was beautiful, absolutely stunning and he couldn't believe that he was his.

He took Severus's cock with one hand, the other traveling down into his own pants, since he knew once he had Severus's cock inside his mouth he was done for. He had spent years fantasizing about it and he knew he wouldn't last more than a minute.

And he was right, since as soon as his cock hit the back of Harry's throat his eyes rolled back into his skull, a shudder thundering through his body, and he was coming, moaning around Severus's cock as he trembled in ecstasy.

"Fuck, did you just? Merlin, Harry!", Severus groaned, grabbing the back of Harry's head as he pumped his hips quickly, almost bending in half as he started coming.

Harry drank it all, moaning at the taste as he did so before he was pulled away, Severus's lips upon his once more.

"You will be the death of me.", Severus murmured as Harry laughed, letting the man pull him into his bedroom without a word of protest.

•

"I believe with every cell in my body that every cell in yours must not, must never, die, and if it does have to die, let it die inside my body."

― André Aciman, Call Me by Your Name

"What are you doing out of bed? It's almost midnight.", a smooth, raspy voice whispered into his ear, long hands wrapping around his waist as he was pulled into a strong chest.

Harry smiled, letting his head fall back to Severus's shoulder as he watched the night sky.

It had been exactly six months since that night in Severus's office when Harry's world had turned on its axis yet again. But this time Harry was grateful for it since the last half of a year had been the best in Harry's life.

"I know. I'm waiting for it. It's a tradition of mine, to wait for my birthday. I began doing it when I found out when my birthday was, once I started muggle school since the Dursleys never bothered to inform me, let alone celebrate it. So, I made my own celebration."

Severus frowned, his eyes growing cold like they tended to do every time Harry mentioned his life before Hogwarts. He had never quite forgiven himself for not being there to help him when Harry was a child, feeling as if he had failed Lily and Harry by not doing anything to prevent Dursley's abuse. And hating himself even more for how he had treated Harry during his school days, even if it had been necessary at the time.

Harry had tried to let him know that he didn't resent him for it, after all, the past was in the past where it belonged, but Severus was struggling with it.

"They will never hurt you again. I promise.", Severus whispered, his hold of Harry tightening as he did so, making Harry smile as he turned around to kiss him.

"Harry?', Severus murmured once they separated.

"Yeah?"

"Happy birthday."

Harry smiled, wrapping his arms around his middle, as he sighed happily.

"We should go back in; you need to be well-rested for your party tomorrow."

Harry groaned at the thought of the birthday party Draco and Luna were organizing for him at the Malfoy Manor. He didn't even want to imagine what that was going to be like, considering the persons involved in preparations.

He nodded though, making his way back into the house with Severus following behind, to what was no longer just Harry's room but theirs.

He walked in only to stop in his tracks in the middle of the room as he saw what seemed like a thousand candles lit up and scattered over every possible surface of the room.

He turned around his heart almost stopping at the sight of Severus on one knee with a small, velvet box in his hands.

"You once said to me that your mother had been a lucky woman to be loved by a man like me. But you were wrong. I am the lucky one because, for some inexplicable reason, you have decided that I'm worthy of your love. And I still think that you could do so much better than me, but I am a selfish man, and the thought of you belonging to anyone else but me, is unimaginable and I will do anything to keep you by my side, always. Harry Potter, would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"

Harry could do nothing but nod shakily, his eyes filled with tears as he kneeled beside Severus, his hand shaking so badly that Severus barely managed to put the ring on his finger.

"I love you, Severus Snape. I love you so fucking much.", he said, laughing and crying at the same time before kissing his future husband.

Smooth, Harry, real smooth.