VIII

Vice-President Lee Adama ordered, under military escort, both President Laura Roslin, and Kara Thrace-Roslin, be brought to Admiral's Quarters. Both women were informed that Lee, Admiral Adama, and Dr. Sherman Cottle would be present, and had some news that they both needed to hear.

Laura was brought in first, and seated, with a military escort, followed by Kara, with her own escort. Kara didn't look up at anyone, her spirit seemingly taken from her. Beyond that, her hair was askew, her uniform disheveled, and with the glance Laura had taken of her, she had lost considerable weight. Even with the tension, Laura was aghast at her appearance.

Lee and Cottle were the last to arrive, pulling up chairs next to Admiral Adama.

"I've called you two here because, thank to an initiative by Lieutenant Agathon, we've been able to answer some important questions about Kara, and to be quite frank", he said, his eyes boring in on the President, "I for one am sick and tired of the bullshit going on." He took a sip of the water at his right hand, wishing it were strong. "I'll turn the meeting over to the Doc."

Cottle went over the bare bones of the last week, with Kara returning, and the doubt-by everyone-with who she was. He let them know that Helo had come up with the idea of drawing blood samples from Kara, Athena, and Caprica, to see if there was any difference in their blood samples.

"The results, using the Spectrascope in the Science Lab were conclusive. When comparing Athena and Caprica's blood, they were an exact match. I also drew a sample from myself, to compare with Starbuck. Despite being different blood-types, our blood, at the cellular level, is exactly the same. When comparing Kara's sample to that of Athena and Caprica, we noted that there seemed to be extra protein molecules in the Cylon's blood samples, and a barely discernible difference in the color of their blood."

He looked decisively at both women. "There's no doubt, Madam President", the older doctor said with certainty. "This is Kara Thrace-Roslin, your wife."

Tears ran down Kara's face, feeling vindicated in her belief. Laura still wasn't convinced.

"You said 'we', Doctor, when talking about the results. That means at least one other person. Who was the other person?"

Bill Adama handled that. "It was Doctor Baltar."

Laura scoffed. "You expect me to trust that man with..."

Cottle put his foot down.

"Listen, Madam President", he angrily said-as angry as he had ever felt. "Baltar knows how to use those Spectrascopes. They're far more advanced than what I have in the Med Bay. In fact, I'm gonna learn to use them, as they can help me better treat my patients. He may know how to use those machines, but I damn well guarantee you that I know how to interpret results looking through them. It's the same principle. There is absolutely no doubt that the woman sitting to your left is your wife, so you better start getting your head out of your ass and start dealing with it..respectfully."

He finished, his face flushed, both Bill and Lee barely turning up the corner of their mouths in silent approval. They felt the same way.

"Cottle is right, Laura", Lee said gently. "Helo went to Gaius, and he agreed to run the samples, but he made sure Cottle checked his work, and all the samples. It's all on the up-and-up. It's time to move on from all of this."

Laura's face was ghost-like, so white it was. She couldn't look up; she couldn't close her mouth; she could barely breather. She could feel four sets of eyes on her, sure that everyone of of those eyes were looking at her accusingly. After a good three or four minutes, she found the strength to look up at the others, and found, to her surprise, that no judgment appeared on any of the face-not even that of her wife, whom she had tried to kill just days before.

When she finally spoke, which was a lot more minutes after that, her voice was weak and shaky. "Gentlemen, if you don't mind", she said, her whole body trembling, "I would like some time alone with my wife."

The three men rose. "Take all the time you need, Madam President", Admiral Bill Adama said, his voice equally as quiet.

The men left, the Admiral, being the last one out, locked the door behind them. For another five minutes, there was silence in the room, only the sound of the vibrations from the ship being heard.

Again, Laura knew she had to speak first. Yet at the moment, she still couldn't look at Kara.

"Kara", she began, barely able to think, "I...there's nothing I can say that can ever...I don't know how you even want to be in the same room with me."

It took Kara a while to speak herself. "Laura, what I did the other day...the gods know I was half out of my mind...but I didn't have...I didn't know how else to get through to you."

Laura gave a humorless chuckle. "You know the Admiral said the same thing yesterday?" She finally looked up at her wife, the younger woman looking so thin and sickly that Laura barely recognized her. "He said you were willing to die to make me see I was wrong."

"He's right", Kara breathed through her continuing tears. "You rejecting me...I had nothing to live for. I might as well have never come back." Kara found the strength to get out of her chair, and kneel before Laura. "The gods as my witness, Laura, I don't have the first clue what the hell is going on. I'm more confused and frightened than anyone. I don't know what I am, but I am not a Cylon."

Laura looked down at the younger woman, so torn with doubt and self-recrimination at her actions, but hardly knowing what to do. "Kara...I would not blame you one bit for...if you want to charge me with attempted murder. I knew exactly what I was doing, and..."

Kara desperately grabbed both of Laura's hands. "But you didn't kill me, Laura. If you truly wanted to kill me, you would have. You were two feet away from me. But part of you...the part of you that I love so damn much, wasn't sure. Yeah, I'm sore as hell, but I'm alive, and I want..." Kara looked down, as Laura looked away for a moment. "I want my wife back, Laura. We have some rough times ahead-the trust has been broken between us, but I want to get you back. I want Kacey back as well...I'd do anything..."

Laura finally let the truth sink in. "You've already done more than anyone should do, Kara. You were willing to die to prove your point, gods!"

At that moment, Laura stood up, pushed her chair back, then went down on her own knees, grabbing the broken women in front of her with all her might, both of them breaking out into hard, audible cries of despair and regret. "I almost killed you...gods damn me to hell...I was willing to kill you!"

"But you didn't", Kara assured her, reveling in the feel of being in her wife's arms again. "You didn't. Somehow, you knew..."

Forty-five minute later, the tears dried out, they rose off the floor, looking sadly at each other.

"What comes next, Starbuck?"

Kara shook her head. "I don't know, baby", she admitted. "But I know we have some work to do, and I want to see my daughter."

"We can do those things, Kara", Laura said, still sniffling and wiping her cheeks. "But we also need to sit down with Bill and Lee...and see what we can do about what you've been telling us. I still am not sure..."

"Shh", Kara said, quieting her wife. "We'll have time for that tomorrow. Right now, I'd really like to get home, take a shower, and be in our quarters when Kacey gets home."

"Gods", Laura exclaimed, "how do we explain this to her? I haven't said a word..."

"We'll be honest with her, Laura. Honesty is what has marked our relationship. We owe her that much."

"We do", Laura said with a firm nod. She stood up, and used the phone on the wall next to Bill's desk, calling CIC and informing them that Bill and Lee could come back to the Admiral's quarters. The two men escorted the President and First Lady to their quarters, two Marine guards outside of the door.

They advised the two fleet leaders that they had a lot to discuss the next day.

Louanne Katraine, now six months pregnant herself, knew this time would arrive. She was a small woman to begin with, but her belly was already protruding out to the point that it was becoming more and more difficult to fly, especially in a Viper. A Raptor wasn't so bad, but flying that bird didn't give her the rush of flying a fighter.

She had just visited Doc Cottle, whom she had seen once a week her entire pregnancy, as Cottle considered her higher risk after he near-death from radiation poisoning. So far, she had gone through the pregnancy with flying colors. Today the doctor gave her the news that he was pulling her from Viper duty. She could still fly Raptors, but until after the child was born, she would no longer be Number Two on the fighters.

And that meant that she had to take a form, signed by Cottle to the CAG, who just happened to be her fiancé, Brendan Costanza. Brendan was in the Pilot Ready Room, going over rosters and any intel that he needed to be up to speed on when Kat found him.

"Hey", he said, looking up and smiling when she walked in. "How'd the appointment go with Cottle?"

Kat bent down and kissed him, then sat next to him. "Everything continues to be good, my dear, although..." She produced the paper from Cottle.

"Uh-oh", Brendan said with mock grimness, "someone being grounded?"

She put the note in front of him. "Only from Vipers, damn it", she said with a chuckle. "I can still fly Raptors, probably for another month or two, but no more dog-fighting for me. I haven't asked you, but who do you think you'll slide into the second spot now?"

"I think the logical choice is Narcho, but he's been in such a funk for months. Don't get me wrong", Hot Dog said quickly, "he hasn't fraked up on any missions, but he's in such a dark mood. But he's still the most experienced person we've got, after the two of us."

"I'm worried about him, to be honest, Brendan', Kat confessed. "Although who knows? Maybe this will snap him out of it. He's been pissy to us for months, but once he's in the cockpit, he's all business and hasn't been a problem."

"Maybe you're right", Brendan said. "I was gonna bounce if off of you anyway, so I'm glad you stopped by."

Kat changed subjects. "What do you hear lately about Starbuck?"

Brendan shook his head. "Not much. I did hear that Cottle, Lee, the Old Man, and the President were going to meet with Kara today about something. I have no idea what. What do you think about all this?"

"I don't know, babe", she said honestly. "We've seen some crazy shit since we left The Colonies. Maybe she is Kara. Maybe it was some sort of...miracle. But this whole situation-and you know as well as I do that the whole fleet knows that the President things she's a Cylon, is killing morale. I hope to hell they get to the bottom of this, and soon."

"So say we all." He affixed his signature to the document, which would go next to Admiral Adama, then back to Cottle. "I should be off duty about 1700, so we should be able to eat together tonight."

"I like hearing that", she said with a cheeky grin. "Should I bring the dessert?"

Hot Dog leaned in toward her. "You are the dessert, sweetheart." They kissed passionately for a few moments. Kat knew if they kept this up, they might get caught doing something compromising, so she rose from her seat.

"Save that lovin' for later, babe", she smirked at him. "I'm gonna get the Old Man to sign this. I'll see ya in a couple hours." She blew him a kiss as she left.

The Next Day

Kara was released from the Med Bay that morning, but wasn't quite sure where she should go. She and Laura had vowed to try and find their way back to each other, but it was still a very awkward situation. More than anything, Kara wanted to see Kacey. She hadn't laid eyes on her in over two months.

At 0900, another meeting with Laura, Lee and the Admiral took place, again in the Admiral's quarters. This went far beyond their marriage, because of who they both were in regards to The Fleet.

Lee and his father had talked late into the night about where they were as a people, and the fact that the marker from the Ionian Nebula, so far, had not turned up anything. Kara's claim that they were going the wrong way echoed heavily through both of their minds.

By the end of the night, they had come to a conclusion.

Laura was already in the quarters when Kara arrived. She stood, and they gave each other a tentative, awkward hug, the tension still thick between them. Both men clearly saw a determination in the eyes of the two women that gave them some hope that they would weather this incredible storm.

But for now, The Fleet came first.

"Lee and I were up all night, talking about a variety of different things: our current course, the morale of The Fleet; the relationship between the two of you." He turned to look at Kara. "We also talked long and hard about your belief that we're heading the wrong way."

He took a quick sip of water. "Maybe it's time to hedge our bets." This time he looked directly at the President. "What I'm proposing is to set aside one ship-the scow Demetrius and allowing Kara to pick a crew, and for her to head off and try to find Earth, or another marker."

Laura's jaw hit the floor again, but she wasn't against the idea. "In other words, we go one way, Kara goes another, and that way..."

"That way we have even a better chance of finding Earth", the Admiral finished for her.

Laura looked over at Kara. "What do you think, Kara?" Laura still hadn't called her by any endearing names like she used to, but Kara understood, at least to some degree. It would be a while before the intimacy returned.

"I get full control of who I pick?"

"That's what we agreed to", Lee said, interjecting himself into the conversation for the first time. He looked over cautiously at the President. "We thought about doing this clandestinely, and not telling you, Madam President, but that wouldn't be right. Not now. Maybe before the events of yesterday, that might have been the case."

"Thank you, gentlemen", Laura said softly. "I think I'd have been mad as hell had you done that, but I also wouldn't have blamed you, with the way I was acting."

The next hour they spent going over who Kara wanted on her crew. In the end, Kara would take Helo as her XO, Narcho, Athena, Hardball, Hot Dog, Kat, Barolay, and some Marines as her crew. They would set off in three days.

When the meeting ended, Kara rose, not quite knowing what to do or where to go.

"Kara, is something wrong?"

She looked over at her estranged wife, and tried to laugh it off. "No, I'm just not sure where...where to go right now. I don't want to be presumptuous and just..."

Laura put a hand on Kara's shoulder. "They're your quarters too, Kara. Look", Laura said, glancing down for a few moments. "I don't expect us to simply and quickly go back to what we had. That's all on me, by the way, but that is your home, and when Kacey is out of school today, I want you to be there, so we can talk to her. After all, in a few days, you'll be gone again."

Kara wrapped Laura in a hug. "Thank you, Laura", she said quietly. "I've missed Kacey so much, you don't even know."

"I'll remember that when she throws a tantrum tonight", Laura chided, trying to lighten the mood.

"That's fair enough", Kara laughed. "I know I have work to do to get ready for this mission, but I really need to get a good six-hour nap before diving into it."

Laura nodded. "Come on", she said softly, "let's go home. I'll get you something to eat quickly, then you can sleep."

Thirty minutes later, Kara was out cold.

Laura made sure Kara was awake before she went to the school on Galactica to fetch Kacey after her day had finished. They had briefly talked about how they would handle this, but there was no good way to do so. They would simply play it by ear. Laura had never seen Kara so nervous in her life.

Kara was sitting on the couch when the door opened, the blonde standing in anticipation. She could hear Kacey talking to Laura, that along bringing tears to her eyes.

"Missus Jackson said we'll have a birthday party for Bobby next week, I can't wait!"

Kacey had just finished when she looked into her home, becoming frozen a moment later as she saw, for the first time in months, what looked like..."

"Momma?" The little girl was practically trembling. "But...Mommy told me you died."

"Hi baby", Kara said, not being able to hold back the flood of tears, taking a step toward Kacey, then going on one knee.

Kacey moved behind Laura, not trusting her eyes, afraid that this was some sort of trick. "It can't be you, Momma! It can't be!" She looked up desperately at Laura. "Mommy?"

Laura took a knee in front of the young girl. "Listen to me, Kace. Yes, we thought your Momma had died, everyone thought that, but a few days ago, Momma came back. I wasn't sure it was her, either", she admitted, looking guiltily over at Kara, "but Doctor Cottle proved to me that this is your Momma."

Kacey turned, still not blinking toward Kara, who was shaking apart inside, knowing that if Kacey rejected her, she might die on the spot. Kacey slowly made her way over toward Kara, with Laura staying right behind her. When Kacey reached Kara, she continued to stare at her for a moment, still not believing her young eyes.

"Momma? Is that really you?"

"Yeah", Starbuck laughed through her tears, "it's me, Kacey."

Kacey took one more step, and then did something neither women expected: she sniffed Kara's clothing, which made her eyes go wide with excitement.

"It is you, Momma!" She finally leaped into Kara's arms, the young girl breaking down into happy, but still quite confused tears.

"Oh, gods, I've missed you Kacey", Kara cried, holding her tighter than she ever had. "I've missed you so much."

"No one smells like you, Momma", Kacey said with more excitement, making both Laura and Kara laugh.

"I think I better take that as a good thing", Kara said, glancing up at her wife. There was so much tension still between them, but Kara could see the relief on Laura's face, as she continued to hug their daughter.

They sat Kacey down, this time to break the other news to her. "Now, you need to know this, sweetie", Kara began, holding the every-growing girl on her lap. "In three days, Momma has to go out on another mission, and I don't know how long it'll last, but I promise you, I'm coming back."

"Why do you have to go? You just got here?" The hurt on her face broke Kara's heart.

"Well, we're trying to find Earth, right? And Momma is gonna lead a mission to try and locate it. I won't be gone a long, long time, I promise, and when I come back, I'm coming back to stay, deal?"

Kacey nodded her head. "Will you be back before the baby comes?"

Kara nodded her head. She didn't think there'd be any way this mission would last that long. "I should be, baby", Kara assured her. "I don't want to miss the birth of your little brother or sister."

"I still want a brother", she said with a pout, Laura snickering as she stood next to Kara.

"We'll find out soon enough, won't we?" She allowed Kacey to tell her about what had been going on in school, while Laura prepared a light meal for them, the President suddenly realized that for the first time in months, and despite the tension that still resonated between she and Kara, that she felt almost complete.

Three Days Later

Three Raptors were set to depart Galactica, and head to Demetrius to drop of Kara and her crew that would go in search of Earth, in the hopes Kara could "find" whatever it was that she had "lost" as they moved further away from the Ionian Nebula. Some, like Helo and Athena, had joined her with enthusiasm. Others, like Seelix and Narcho, weren't thrilled for reasons only known to themselves at the moment. Yet everyone assigned had indicated they were in.

In the hangar, Lee, Bill, and Laura were there to see her off.

"You know through all this, Kara", the Admiral said softly, "I wanted to believe in you. I even told Laura that. I trust the President's judgment, but I also can't take the chance that you're right, and not do anything about it."

"I understand, sir", Kara replied honestly, hardly able to look at the man.

"I've watched you several times after we've jumped, seeing you crying in agony, saying we're going the wrong way. This is your chance to prove to me if you're right or wrong."

He stepped back, Lee moving up to had been his best friend and his worst nightmare, all rolled into one. "I believe you, Starbuck."

It's all Lee said, Kara almost breaking down and crying, instead, giving him a gentle, heart-felt hug. "Thank you, Mr. Vice-President", is all she could say in return.

Lee stepped back, Laura moving directly in front of her wife. "You just got here", Laura said, truly showing emotion for the first time toward Kara, "and you're leaving again."

"I have to, Laura. If I don't, I'll regret it the rest of my life. I know you don't understand."

"Oh, but I understand, Kara", Laura objected. "Better than you think. We have a long way to go, to try and find what we've lost, so you damn well better come back."

"Nothing can keep me away, Laura", Kara said tenderly, moving ever-so-close to her wife. "May I?"

Laura nodded, leaning in and giving Kara, for the first time in months, a soft, tender, kiss, both of their eyes closing in pain at parting again.

They broke after only a few moments, but it was the first step for both of them. "One way or another, whether I succeed or fail, I'll be back."

Laura laughed lightly. "You can't fail if you make the attempt, my dear. You're the strongest person I've ever known. Either way, when you come back, I will be here, waiting for you."

Kara nodded.

The other three followed behind Kara as she headed toward her Raptor. As she climbed up on the wing, she turned and looked at the others.

"Attention on Deck!" The Admiral's loud voice summoned everyone currently working in the hangar, and they gathered around. "Commander, Demetrius, departing!"

Everyone except for Lee and Laura saluted stiffly, Kara only looking at her wife at the moment. Kara raised her own arm in salute, releasing it a few moments later, nodding at everyone, then turning without a backward glance into her Raptor.