Trent moved from the back of the C-17 as soon as the medivac left the airport in Germany. Davis had arranged for transport of the entire team to Landstuhl Military Hospital, but Trent walked back into the plane instead of to the waiting vehicles. He walked passed the still swinging hammocks, passed the area they hang out and played cards, passed the indigenous vehicles still on the plane and finally stopped at the medical area. The empty gurney she had been on was back in it's place.
Support was taking Jack Carson's body off the plane so he could be returned to his family. Trent lowered himself back into the net seat. The silence engulfed him while he inhaled and exhaled counting his breaths.
Ray sat beside him. "Ready when you are."
Trent nodded. "Just needed a minute." He ran a shaking hand down his face. "Thought I lost her, Ray."
"But you didn't."
"Maybe not." Trent held his hand out in front of him and watched it shake. "Never had this happen before."
"It's different when it's not us. We all know when we Jock up... but it's supposed to be us, so it isn't the people we love." Ray put his hand on Trent's back.
"Yeah. We should go." Trent stood with Ray and deplaned.
The ride to the hospital was void of conversation. Ray drove while Trent leaned his head against the passenger window. Sonny and Clay rode in the backseat unsure if words would help or hurt while remaining silent.
Trent closed his eyes and thought of the pictures she had taken through the years. If the possibility that there may never be more. He thought of laughing on a beach with her and waking to her in Greece.
(Flashback scene is chapter 2 of Numbed due to graphic content.)
The SUV pulled up to the security gate at the hospital. The four member's of Bravo handed their Military ID's to the guard. "We have a protected asset being treated here, our team leader and commander just passed through." Ray spoke to the man while Trent glanced at Sonny and Clay in the backseat who were nodding.
As the window rose and they passed the checkpoint Trent looked to Ray. "Mandy." It wasn't a question.
"Mandy." Ray pulled into a parking space beside the SUV carrying Jason, and Blackburn in the front. Brock, Davis, and Mandy were situated uncomfortably in the back.
Stepping from the vehicles Trent walked to Mandy. "Thank you."
"Trent... You don't have to thank me." Mandy looked at the gravel.
"Yeah I do Mandy." He bumped her shoulder with his.
"We all have secrets. We all have parts of ourselves we don't want the world to see. If you find someone who can see those parts, the dark and scary parts and still want to be near... well I had to do something. We all have secrets." Mandy looked up at him.
"I know." Trent looked at Brock standing an appropriate distance away and looking anywhere but at them. "Mandy, you know I'm always going to look out."
"I know." She walked away.
Blackburn and Mandy took the lead when the entered the hospital. Spoke privately with a cake eater about the agency asset. Trent stood with his still shaking hands hidden in his pockets waiting with his brothers and Davis in the hallway.
He wanted to see her, to look at her with his own eyes and know she was okay. He wanted to take her home but more than anything he wanted people to stop calling her Hostage 2 or the Agency Asset. He wanted her to just be his Rena again.
The door opened and people were speaking but he was not listening. "Hey Trent, you with us?" Jason look annoyed but he figured that was for the sake of the cake eater.
"Yes. Sorry, Boss." Trent stood straighter.
"What I was saying is you, 5, 3, and 6 are going to the floor of the asset. I need you to be briefed on her condition as soon as that is possible and then you and 6 will be in room while 3 and 5 are in the hallway. The rest of us will join shortly." Jason dismissed them.
"Gotcha." Trent turned away. He had wanted to thank Jason but knew his relationship with Serena had not and would not be disclosed to the hospital personnel.
On the fourth floor they were met by MPs assigned to guard her room until they arrived. Trent wanted to laugh at the ruse. He wanted to cry at how far his friends had gone to legitimize this so he could be with her.
Sonny and Clay acted their parts as if this OP were anything but fake. They relieved the MPs and spoke to medical staff about their asset. The doctor stepped out to meet with Trent and while he wanted the information he wanted to hold her hand more.
"I'm Dr. Burke. You treated her in country?" The man stood looking down at her electronic chart on a tablet.
"Yes. Trent Sawyer."
"Well, Sawyer I have to say my med students were impressed until they were removed from the case for security reasons." The man scrolled through her chart. "She's concussed, broken ribs, the stab wounds was badly infected. We sedated her to clean and scrap the wound. She'll need IV antibiotics for probably a week. We were able to remove the chest tube though and her breathing is stable. She's awake and coherent now. I think she can be transferred stateside tomorrow. I'll get you a copy of her chart before transport of course."
Trent nodded as he took in the fact that she was okay. He was desperately trying not to collapse from the relief. He exhaled slowly before he moved toward her room. "Thanks, Doc. I'm in room security so I need to go."
"Of course." The doctor walked down the hall.
"Trent I think you should examine the asset to confirm she is stable. Probably be better not to have an audience for that. I'll stay with 3 and 5. Let me know when you are good." Clay kept up appearances as the nurses moved about.
"Good idea." Trent hoped his words were enough to express his gratitude for the moment of privacy.
As he stepped into the dimly lit room he felt like the air had been sucked from his lungs. He longed once again for the numbness narcotics brought but that wasn't who he was, not anymore. All the experts say that your sobriety depends on you, that you have to do it for yourself, but Trent had no doubt that she was the reason he was clean.
She was sleeping gently. Her breathing even and steady, a nasal canula providing small support. He moved to the chair beside her. Trent lowered himself slowly and finally allowed himself to feel every ache he had ignored for the last two days.
He felt like he had spent the time barely holding himself together. His brothers might argue he hadn't done it very well. He doubted they would blame him but they also didn't realize how close he had been, more than once, to complete hysteria.
He crossed his arms on the side of the bed, a hand on each elbow. While leaning forward he put his head down burying his face in the somewhat soft hospital blanket. The tears that fell wet the material. He tried not to move as he sobbed into her hospital bed. He wanted her to sleep, to rest, to be well.
"Shhh, it's okay." The hand on his forearm felt like home. Her thumb was grazing his faded scars. Her other hand carded through his hair as he cried. "You're okay."