Lyara I

It has been almost three days since Alysanne left and Lyara was missing the girl already. Alysanne reminded the old healer of her youngest daughter, Ellara. She was just like that: sweet, kind, innocent. Her smile and her singing would fill Lyara's days with bliss, once upon a time. After she was gone, Lyara lived a bitter and lonely life in her small cabin. And then it all changed when she found a lost and hurt little thing in the woods. It wasn't just kindness that moved Lyara to help Alysanne, and then offer her a place to stay. The healer was moved also by nostalgia, and the longing for some company in that secluded sanctuary in the woods.

She knew that the girl had some secrets: she could see right through the lies she told when they first met, but Lyara didn't mind to know the real story. It didn't matter to her if the girl was really a poor miller's daughter – which she certainly wasn't – or if she was a noble born maiden – which she probably was, with her dainty physique and fine speech. Lyara met her share of nobles in her life, many of them seeking for a cure that not even the maesters could provide. She was acquainted with nobility to recognize someone who was castle-born. Yet, she also knew that those maidens weren't as fortunate as everyone else assumed them to be: yes, they never had to go wanting for anything, and always had their smallest caprices answered to, but on the other hand they were also captives of their own status and noble name, born and raised to be one thing and one thing only: a pawn at the will of their fathers, and husbands, destined to breed either the little lordlings who would inherit their father's title and lands or noble slave girls like themselves. It wasn't unusual for one or another of those noble daughters to suddenly try to break free and escape such destiny, even if it meant to have the life of a commoner. Maybe that was such a case, and poor Alysanne was just trying to escape marriage to an old and ugly man chosen by her father. Although Lyara had means to discover exactly who the girl was, she decided to put the issue to rest and just accept Alysanne's cover story, no questions and no strings attached. She doubted that her kindness would come back to bite her, because despite of whatever compelled Alysanne to run away, Lyara could see that she was a good girl, and that she meant no harm whatsoever. Not to the old healer, anyway.

Lyara never regretted her decision. Having Alysanne as an apprentice was the best thing that happened to the old healer in a long time. Not only the girl was a much-welcomed help in her daily tasks, but she also brought back something Lyara thought she lost forever: the joy of caring for someone dear, and the feeling of having a family.

She was musing over those thoughts when the Elder Brother approached her. The girl she and Alysanne treated – whose name was Nessie, Lyara found out – was faring much better, and she would be allowed to leave the next morning. In the meantime, Lyara decided she might as well see to other patients, to put her time at the Isle to good use. Those were dark times, when war and famine ravaged the land, and so the number of people hurt and sick was rising every day. Many would seek the Isle to heal and find peace and solace amidst the horrors of war. The Elder Brother was a good healer himself, but he surely could use an extra hand, and welcomed Lyara's suggestion. She was just returning from one of her visits and stopped by the graveyard when Elder Brother found her:

"Peaceful, isn't it?" he asked. She answered without turning to his direction:

"Aye. The dead are a silent kind"

"In a way, maybe. But when I think I am alone the ghosts of the people I once knew come to visit me, in my head, and in my dreams. Some bound by love, some bound by hatred, but there are so, so many of them… When we are old it seems that the dead we know far exceed the living, don't you agree?"

"I suppose so… We all have our share of ghosts, don't we?"

"I can see you have ghosts of your own"

Lyara sighed and looked away, a painful and faraway look gracing her features. Oh, she did had ghosts haunting her. Before Alysanne came along she even thought that they would be her only companions for the rest of her life. Not that she had much time left to live, anyway. After a few moments she answered:

"Some. I used to see them all the time, sometimes in the faces of the living. Most of them don't bother me anymore. Except for a few, who doesn't seem to go away."

"Who are they?" The Elder Brother asked.

"It doesn't matter. The past is buried, Brother. Let's leave the ghosts to their graves"

They fell into uncomfortable silence once more, before the Elder Brother spoke again:

"Alysanne seems like a good girl"

"She is" Lyara said honestly. 'Good' was the best world to describe the compassionate and kind nature of her adopted daughter.

"How old is she? She seems pretty young"

"She is eighteen now"

"You weren't very young when she was born, then. She must have been a surprise last child"

"Aye, one could say that"

Lyara knew there was something else to his questioning. It was clear that Alysanne and herself didn't look alike, so the brother was probably suspicious that Alysanne wasn't her daughter. But she didn't owe him any explanations, her life was her business alone and the Elder Brother had no right to pry. Decided to end the conversation, she turned and said:

"I should go check on Nessie, and then I will call it a day. It has been exhaustive and I am tired."

"Yes, of course"

Lyara turned and left, going back to the little cabin where Nessie was still resting. The girl was awake when Lyara arrived, and greeted her with a smile:

"Lyara! Thought you left"

"Don't worry, child. I wouldn't leave without seeing you first. How do you feel?"

"I am good"

Lyara started to inspect the girl, checking her temperature and breathing. She was fine indeed, despite of the fact that she was at the threshold of death just a few days before. The next morning the girl would leave in the ferry, and Lyara would probably never see her again. But before the girl left, there was something else to be said, something that Lyara waited for the very last moment to tell the girl:

"Aye, you seem pretty good. You're a sturdy little one a'int you?"

Lyara laughed and the girl joined her. But suddenly the old woman's face became serious, and Nessie asked, in a worried tone:

"What is it?"

"When you arrived here, you were dying. You would have, if the brothers didn't call me right away. And when I examined you, I knew that you had just lost a child… I suspected it was the result of a late moon tea. Am I right?"

The girl dropped her eyes to the floor, ashamed, and answered:

"Aye, y'er right."

"Now, girl, I am not judging you. I don't need to know what made you do that. But I want you to understand that, even though we saved your life, it is possible that you will carry some nasty scars for the rest of your life."

The girl didn't say anything, but given her expression she wasn't grasping Lyara's meaning. The healer sighed and clarified:

"Well, it is possible that you will sustain some… inner scars of the ordeal. What I mean is: maybe you won't be able to conceive another child"

The girl looked into Lyara's eyes and asked:

"I'm barren?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. There's no way for me to say for sure. Just know that it is a possibility."

Silence fell, and Lyara saw the girl had unshed tears in her eyes. She was being brave, Lyara could tell. She wished there was something bright she could tell Nessie, but Lyara could give her no reassurances, and she would lie to the girl. She hoped for the best, but it was about everything she could do for the girl"

"Alright." Nessie said. "Mayhaps it's better this way"

That was the worst part of the job, Lyara thought. Even for a healer of her skill, there were certain obstacles that couldn't be crossed. There were scars even Lyara could heal.

"Can I rest?" the girl asked "I'm tired"

"Sure, my dear. Sleep well"

The girl nodded while Lyara left the cabin. She sighed and headed back to the cabin the Elder Brother provided her. Her belongings needed packing, and she would leave in the morrow. She started to sort thought the things, making sure she got everything. There was a knock in the door, and Lyara went to answer it:

"It's the Elder Brother. I come bearing gifts"

Lyara sighed and opened, hoping the Elder Brother wouldn't want to resume their earlier conversation. He was holding a basket, and said:

"I asked Brother Narbert to pack these for you. There are some rare herbs in there, which only grow in Essos. I hope this is enough payment for your services"

"Aye, it is more than enough. With the war and everything it's harder to find supplies from Essos. Many thanks, Elder Brother" she said, curtsying. But as soon as she bowed Lyara felt dizzy and she would have fallen to the ground if it wasn't for the Elder Brother. He held her just in time:

"Lyara! Are you alright?" he asked, while gently leading her to sit on the cot nearby.

"Aye, I am fine" she asked, but a violent outburst of cough contradicted her. When she removed her hand from her mouth, there was blood in it. The Elder Brother retrieved a cloth from the basket and gave it to her, without a word. She cleaned her hand and her mouth, and said:

"Thank you."

The Elder Brother nodded, before saying:

"How long?"

She understood exactly what he meant, and answered honestly:

"It started about six moons ago. I've been using tea to help with the pain, and fumes to treat the disease."

"Does Alysanne know?"

Lyara shook her head, thinking about the girl. She tried to tell her, but couldn't find the courage to do so. Alysanne was still blissfully ignorant to the pernicious disease that Lyara was suffering from. For the past months the old healer was smart enough to hide from the girl every evidence of her suffering.

"No, she doesn't. I don't want her to worry about me"

"But you will have to tell her, Lyara. This will get very worse from now on, you know it. This breathing disease is terrible. Slow, agonizing. She needs to know what is going to happen."

Lyara sighed and said:

"I know. I will tell her when I get back"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I don't think so. Other than praying, there isn't much anyone could do for me"

"Well, you can certainly count on my prayers" the Elder Brother said, squeezing her hand. Lyara smiled and nodded. He was right about one thing: she couldn't hide her disease from Alysanne much longer. The girl needed to know Lyara didn't have much time left. The disease was ruthless, and what was bound to follow wouldn't be pretty to see. The girl deserved a chance to turn and go away, if she wanted. Lyara dreaded that possibility: the healer didn't want to be alone on her deathbed, but she knew maybe it was too much to ask from someone as young and Alysanne. Lyara was bound to a hard and painful path, and she couldn't force Alysanne to follow her. Yes, she would tell her as soon as she returned. Hopefully the Gods would smile to her at least once in her life and the girl would stay around. "In the end, the Stranger comes to all of us" she thought. "Maybe he will be kind enough and come to me faster."