Part 10
It was a few days before Christmas and the Tracy Villa was filled with activity. Grandma Tracy and Kyrano were cooking up a storm in the kitchen and the Tracy Boys were busy decorating the house. Jeff helped them with that. There had been no sign of John and no contact made. The boys had met him on a few rescues and each time John was in control of everything and with everything I mean everything. He could be working on a rescue with them but at the same time co-ordinate four more. He was on top of things all the time while doing required heavy lifting. His team followed his every word and the Tracy boys did the same whenever they worked together. Not even Alan could complain about it when John dished out orders in his direction. John was that good.
Whenever they met him on rescues the brothers tried to approach him about coming back home but John never gave them the chance. He would join his team or use a jetpack to remove himself from the danger zone and them or just pretend he didn't hear the question. Scott had made a grab for him once when John was about to walk away from them. It had ended with Scott on the ground, courtesy of John's right hand man, only known to the boys as Vidal. John was always professional when they met and did not treat them as anything other than colleagues. It was frustrating to his brothers, well three of them.
Gordon had tried to at least make him laugh, but John's lips didn't even twitch. Right now Gordon stood looking at the family photos from past Christmases. His gaze was glued to the last one with their mother and John in it. Gordon looked at his mother's face and then John's. He'd lost them both… Gordon slipped out of the lounge where the decorations were being hung. He instead headed down to the lab to check up on Brains. He had not seen their scientist friend for a few days. Gordon was about to knock on the door when he heard voices.
"Th-the boys told me you c-could press the h-holographic keys", he heard Brains stutter out.
"Of course", a warm voice replied and Gordon gasped. Brains was talking to John!?
"H-how?!" Brains asked. "Y-you and C-C-C… C could not d-do it before!"
"We found the way now, why, are you stuck Hiram?" It was said in teasing, Gordon recognized the tone.
"I am n-not stuck!" Brains objected.
"Uh huh sure."
"I'm not! I am j-just not s-sure which p-part to w-whack with a wrench to m-make all wires c-connect l-like I w-want them to."
"So you're stuck."
"…I'm stuck."
John's laughter rang through the lab and Gordon felt jealousy well up inside him. He stormed off and left Brains to talk with John, something Gordon could only dream of at the moment.
Later that day Scott and Virgil were heading to the kitchen to ask if their grandmother or Kyrano needed help with lifting something heavy. They were about to enter the kitchen when they heard their grandmother grumble about her latest gift. She had gotten a box from a friend called Tracy something a few days ago. It was one of those new communicators that Tracy Industries had developed with help from Shade Enterprises. TI and SE were in charge of the hardware while Lemaire made them stylish and sleek. Fischler just paid for now. His own try to get the tech working nearly blew up two blocks when he tried to power the new tech up with the city's power grid. So he was removed from development and only paid some bills. Grandma had been elated when she was gifted one of those new watches.
"Oh for heaven's sake… how does this thing work", they heard her grumble. "Which button should I press?"
"Grandma no buttons needed", a warm voice replied and the boys' eyes widened. "You've already picked up."
"Oh Johnny dear how nice to see you!" Grandma replied happily. "Are you eating properly? Sleeping? Exercising?"
"Yes Grandma", John laughed. "On all questions. How are you?"
"Oh I'm the same as always darling", she replied. "Busy with cooking and baking."
"Christmas dinner?"
"Of course."
"Wish I could be there."
"Me too darling… you know-"
"No."
"I understand but sweetheart… being all alone on Christmas?"
"What's new there?"
"John."
"No Grandma I'm serious. Ever since IR started I have not been home for Christmas. Sure you call me in the morning and then? Nothing. I know when I'm not wanted. I wish I got to know exactly why that is…"
"Now you listen to me John Glenn Tracy", Grandma said sternly. "You are always very much wanted. No, don't look at me like that."
"Grandma if I was wanted home at Christmas I would have been. Then again it was 'just John' so to everyone else it was fine or they didn't even think about it."
"I am sure they didn't mean to."
"Probably not but they did Grandma."
"I know sweetheart… I know… I just wish you could come home."
"That's not home to me anymore Grandma… have not been for years."
"I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm happy I got to see you a little at least."
"Oh don't worry Grandma, you will see me in the flesh sooner than you expect."
"Oh? By that tone in your voice I'm thinking you are plotting something."
"No it's more that I was asked to come with my best friend to Lady P's gala."
Hearing that Scott and Virgil grinned at each other. John would be at the gala on the 27th! They would get to see him! They heard their grandma keep on talking and snuck away before they got caught. They headed to Virgil's room and started plotting for the 27th.
"Be my date!" Casper said as soon as he entered John's apartment and brushed the raindrops from his coat.
"To what?" John asked and took Casper's coat. While Casper undid his shoelaces and put on the slippers John offered his guests.
"Christmas Eve dinner at my parents' place!" Casper said and smiled when John offered him a towel for his hair. "Mum is bringing her friends and they always try to pair me up with one of their daughters or another!"
"I thought you were bi."
"I am! I just don't like… bimbos." Casper shuddered and John laughed. "Please Jay! Don't make me beg on my knees! You know I will!"
"I don't know…"
"Jay please! Don't make me start quoting Broadway musicals!"
"Don't you dare!" John laughed then nearly toppled over when Casper fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs.
"You've been dreaming, just one dream nearly all your life", Casper sang happily. "Hoping, scheming, just one theme: Will you be a wife? Will you be some he-man's property? Good news! That he-man's me!"
"As if!" John said with a laugh and pulled his legs loose and headed to the kitchen. Casper followed him and while John went to the stove to finish the dinner Casper leaned on the doorpost.
"This equation, girl", he sang and John glared at him. Casper ignored him. "plus man doesn't help just you on occasion, women can have their uses too. Mainly to extend the fam'ly tree! Pumpkin, extend with me! We'll be raising sons galore!" John decided to give up and join in. It was as if they were back at university.
"Inconceivable", he said.
"Each built six foot four!"
"Unbelievable…"
"Each stuffed with ev'ry Casper gene!"
"I'm not hearing this…"
"You'll be keeping house with pride!"
"Just incredible…"
"Oh so gratified!"
"So unweddable…"
"That you are a part of this idyllic scene." Casper wrapped his arm around John's back since he was so much shorter and moved his hand in front of them as if showing John something.
"Picture this", Casper said. "A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting over the fire, my little wife massaging my feet, while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. We'll have six or seven!"
"Dogs?" John asked playfully.
"No, Jay! Strapping boys...like me!"
"Imagine that…"
"I can see that we will share all that love implies. We shall be a perfect pair rather like my thighs! You are face to face with destiny! All roads lead to... The best things in life are... All's well that ends with me! Escape me? There's no way, certain as 'do, re,' Jay, when you marry..." Casper stopped dancing around the kitchen and hurried up to John. "So Jay, what would it be? Is it 'yes', or is it 'oh, yes'?"
"I...I just don't deserve you!" John replied and Casper grinned at him.
"Who does?" he asked and jumped onto a chair. "MEEEEEEOAH!" the chair overturned and he fell. John laughed and Casper sat up and grinned. "But seriously Jay! Be my date"
"I can't believe you are singing songs from Beauty and the Beast at me", John said.
"Come off it! At uni you and I sang every duet under the sun at each other." Casper put the chair back and sat on it. "This was not as bad as when I sang to you on the subway."
"You mean when you got us thrown off for 'obstructing traffic'?" John asked and put the plates down in front of Casper and himself.
"Oh come off it you were just as guilty as me!" Casper said.
"Fine fine… I guess I owe you for pretending to be my date to that conference Hiram dragged me to."
"Yes you do so be my date! Besides you are celebrating with us anyway right?" He gave John his best puppy eyes. "You shouldn't be alone at Christmas and you have been alone long enough."
"It's fine Casper… Christmas is a time for family and you should spend it with yours."
"Well I'm telling you bro that you are invited anyway and if you don't go I won't go."
"Cas…"
"No. You have spent too much time alone these past few years. Vidal agrees with me. You are coming with me tomorrow even if I have to ask Tyler to pick you up and carry you there. You know he would. Jay…" Casper reached over and put his hand on John's wrist. "I don't want you to be alone on Christmas. It's not right to be alone on Christmas. Mum and dad told you in person to come so you are allowed to come and have fun and be happy. I know you don't feel like you deserve it bro but you do. I don't think I know anyone who deserves it more than you do. With everything you do for the GDF and everything you have done for International Rescue and our own company."
John smiled fondly and put his hand over Casper's.
"Thanks Cas", he said. "It's nice to actually hear that I deserve some happiness for once."
"Hey what is chosen family for?"
"Yeah…" John looked over at the set of drawers he had in the room. On it was all the family pictures he'd brought with him when he left. He looked at the smiling faces. Most of the pictures were of him and his brothers. He had a picture of himself alone with each of his brothers and each of them was a great memory. In the picture of him and Scott the two boys were hugging and smiling brightly. Scott had been ten and John five. John had won a running race at the local pre-school. Scott had been very proud of his little brother since neither him nor Virgil had been runners. John remembered the joy he felt when his big brothers told them he was the best. Especially when Scott did. At the time Scott had been the biggest and strongest of the brothers and he made John feel safe. To see him so happy and proud of something he, John, had achieved had been the best feeling in the world.
The picture of him and Virgil had been taken a few years before IR became operational. John had just returned home from his second and longest space mission with NASA. It had also been the most dangerous. The ship John and his crewmates had traveled with had broken down just as they entered the atmosphere. It was due to the quick thinking of John and two more crewmates that they managed to land their craft and get out before it exploded. Poor Virgil had seen it all happen on TV and the audience had no idea the astronauts had survived. So for a few hours Virgil had believed his little brother was dead. It was not until it knocked on his door and he saw his younger brother standing that Virgil realized it had all been fake news. Virgil had pulled him into a tight hug, which John had returned. Virgil's roommate had snapped the picture of them. The picture always filled John with warmth, especially since Virgil wrote a music piece inspired by the events.
The picture of him and Gordon was very endearing. John was sitting on a couch, reading a book as usual. Gordon was lying on the couch next to him. Gordon had his head in John's lap and was sucking on his thumb while he slept. John had his hand running through Gordon's hair in a soothing way. Gordon's other hand was gripping John's sweater, like a teddy bear.
The picture of him and Alan was from one of Alan's races. Alan had lost but his big brothers were all still proud of him. John had his arm around Alan's shoulders and Alan held his around John's. They looked so alike in that picture, except that John was taller and a bit skinnier. It had been taken during a time they were still close. For many years John had been Alan's hero, the one person Alan wanted to be just like. Then when Alan got to astronaut training something changed. Alan got snarkier and hostile towards his blonde older brother. John had played detective and had found out why. Alan was constantly compared with John and like the rest of the family who all wanted to win and be best Alan did not like having an older brother who was better than him at basically anything space related. John had talked to him about it, but Alan had not wanted to listen. Then when their father started International Rescue their relationship had taken a turn for the worse. It had become so bad John barely recognized his baby brother anymore. He sighed and turned his gaze from the pictures and looked at Casper again. Casper grinned at him and John smiled back.
"Fine Cas", John said. "I'll be your date."
"WOHOO!" Casper cheered and swung his arm around… and falling off his chair. John laughed and helped him up. It felt good to laugh, something he had done a lot since joining up with the GDF and Casper. It felt good. Right now… his life was good.
A few days later Jeff and his family were at Penny's estate to take part in the Christmas Gala she was hosting. She had invited all of them and Jeff had been told that Shade and his family would be there as well. They were after all one of the wealthiest families in the world. Penny's gala would be filled with food, dancing and a charity auction sometime during the night. So the richest people she knew of had been invited. Jeff had grumbled about it the entire day, to his sons' amusement. Only one person could get Jeff Tracy to act like a child hating another child and that person was Charles Shade. The boys, Jeff, Tin-Tin and Grandma had arrived early in the morning and were now attending the gala. They were all dressed to the nines in black suits, white shirts an with ties that matched their eyes or complimented their eyes. Tin-Tin was behind that. Tin-Tin her self was dressed in a dress that matched Alan's tie and she was his date to the gala. A point Alan was smug about because none of his brothers brought dates. Grandma was escorted by Jeff of course and was at the moment enjoying a talk with Penny's aunt Sylvia. Penny was moving here and there throughout the crowd to greet the various guests. Jeff and his sons stood close to one of the big windows. Jeff had been pleased to see Valerie and Tim Casey there as well. Val had people staring at her as she walked around in a suit and not a nice dress like all the other women. Jeff chuckled. Val Casey always liked to stir things up with the upper crust. She wore the suit with grace and she looked very beautiful. The people around here were most from old money and they were not enjoying seeing "commoners" and the nouveau riche around. Jeff also noticed Fischler and Lemaire being there.
"They're here", Virgil said.
"Who is?" Jeff asked and turned his head. His face darkened at once. In through the doors a couple of people had arrived and people fanned out around them to let them pass. In the front was a man around Virgil's height. He had short well-combed hair, dark skin and amber eyes. He was dressed in a black suit with a deep red shirt. On his arm was a woman with dark ebony skin and long black hair which she was wearing in an elegant bun at the back of her head. She wore a gorgeous red dress that shoved off her body in the most complementing way. Behind them came an older couple. The man was quite tall and his black hair had started going grey in places. On his arm was a woman just as tall as he was. She too had dark skin and her black hair had as well started to turn grey. She wore a long dark green dress. After them was a man who was taller than anyone else there. His skin was dark and his eyes green-grey. He had long and thin braids tied together partly in the back leaving some of them loose as well. He was dressed in black pants, a red shirt that looked as if was about to burst if he flexed his muscles. He had the sleeves rolled up and looked as if he was entering a ballroom dancing competition. Behind the tall man two more enter and Jeff recognized one of them right away. The young man had messy black hair, dark skin and amber eyes. On his face was a rather nasty scar. He wore a black suit with a scarlet turtleneck and matching shoes.
"Great…" Jeff grumbled. "Why did Penny have to invite them?"
"Dad quiet", Scott hissed. "People will think you are racist!"
"I am not racist. I have no problem with people of a different color. I do however have a big problem with Charles bloody Shade!"
"Yeah um well um Penny thought it would err be good to invite them to not cause um… drama in the press", Gordon tried and Jeff tensed when he noticed Charles Shade greet Penny with a smile and then Jeff saw who else had entered with the Shades.
"What. Is. John. Doing?" Jeff growled. Jeff's sons all turned to look at the Shades and gaped. There was John, next to Casper and shaking hands with Penny. Charles Shade then put a hand on John's shoulder and one on Casper's and told Penny something that made her gape. The older man who Jeff knew was Dexter Callahan and Charles' younger brother Tyler laughed at the look she gave the pair. John and Casper both blushed and Charles' wife Nora and the woman in green, Charles' mother Athena Callahan patted both young men on the arm. John grinned at Nora and then looked around the room and his gaze fell on them, his family. John's smile faded and he turned his face away. Jeff felt his anger flare and stormed over. His sons tried to stop him. But Jeff was not to be stopped.
"Ah Jefferson Tracy himself", Charles said when Jeff reached them. "And your sons too I see."
"My what you've grown", Nora gushed and took her husband's arm as he offered it to her. "You all seem to be living life."
"John", Jeff spat, ignoring the Shades.
"Good evening Mister Tracy", John replied icily. "I hope the Holiday Season finds you in good health."
"Get away from them", Jeff said and grabbed John by the arm. John only looked at Jeff's hand.
"Let go of me", John said.
"Absolutely not!" Jeff growled. "Leaving your post I can forgive. Walking out on the family I can forgive. But spending time with the Shades I cannot forgive!"
"I am not looking for your forgiveness or acceptance", John said icily. "I want nothing from you. Now unhand me."
"No", Jeff said and tried to pull John away from the Shades. "Enough of this nonsense. You are coming back home with us and we will forget this whole stupid affair and get back to business as usual."
"Are you deaf?" John asked. "I said unhand me!" He pulled his arm loose. "And for the rest of your ridiculous request? I politely decline. As I told you and the others before I am done. I am done with you, I am done with your 'business' and I am done with your family. Family is about being there for each other when you most need it. You turned your backs on me, left me to rot in a remote location. I followed all your rules and I drew inside the lines. I never asked for anything that wasn't mine or anything in general. I've been hurt by you for the last time and I won't ever let another person take advantage of me the way I let you people do! I am done with feeling bad for asking for something as simple as coming home. I am sick and tired of you deciding what I can and cannot do. I am sick and tired of being lied to, to have promises to me broken by the people I love most and I am sick and tired of your hypocritical bullshit! When we were kids you and mother kept telling us that you loved us all the same. That we were all worth the same. That the needs and wants of one son would never mean more than those of the others. In recent years that has not been true and you are too blind and too selfish to see it."
"I will not have my own son talk to me that way", Jeff growled.
"Did you not hear me Jeff?" John asked. "I'm done with you! I quit your business and I quit your family. And now… now I have found a better job, a better life…" he felt Casper put a hand on his shoulder in support "A better family."
"The Shades? Are you serious? As I see it the only one acting selfish and stupid here is you John. You got what you deserved, no more and no less. Your brothers pulled their weight in the organization and you did your part. You should be proud of what you did and satisfied with it."
"Satisfied!?" John exclaimed. "Satisfied with living through hell for more than three months!?"
"Don't be dramatic."
"Dramatic!? Are you serious?!"
"I don't understand why you are complaining. You got to work in a place people would give all their savings to get. I gave you everything you wanted and you threw it away just like that."
"Everything I wanted? Everything I wanted was to feel as a part of your family. Feel loved and missed and accepted but you could not even provide me with that."
"If you didn't feel you got any of it then that is your own fault. I treated you with the utmost respect and consideration."
"Consideration!?" John asked and his face was so red it matched his shirt underneath the black jacket.
"You got a job that suited your talents. You did your part. You should be thankful, there was not much else you could have done. You got a job that suited your skills perfectly."
"No. I got that job now. You gave me nothing but loneliness and heartache."
"You only got what you deserved and nothing more and nothing less."
"I deserved isolation and to be cut off from everyone I loved?"
"Isn't that what you are doing now to yourself? I never sent you away. You left."
"You never…" John stared from his father to his brothers. Three of them looked as shocked as him. The last one had walked off with Tin-Tin. "Are you three hearing this?!"
"Dad", Scott said. "John has a point. You did send him away."
"No. I gave him a job and how did he thank me?" Jeff asked. "He selfishly left us hanging and put a lot of people in danger."
"Selfishly!?" John asked.
"You claim Alan is acting like a brat? Well John you are acting worse than him. Now stop acting all stupid and selfish and come back where you belong. When you are ready to apologize I will await you. Of course we will need to have a talk and make sure you never think of doing anything this stupid aga-" Jeff got no further because John's fist flew out and socked him right in the jaw and Jeff went down with a crash. Everyone in the room turned to them. Tyler grabbed John around the waist and along with Casper hauled him away. Dexter and Charles soon followed. Nora and Athena apologized to Penny before hurrying after the men in their family. Scott and Virgil helped Jeff up while Penny made sure to tell a waiter to get something to mop up the water on the floor. They could not have more guests slip and fall. Jeff himself was staring after the golden head of his middle son as said son was bounded away by the Shades. What had he missed? Why on earth would his son punch him? Did he, Jeff, do something wrong? And if he had… what?
John was grumbling swearwords in Russian, at least Grandma thought it was Russian, when she found him. John was surrounded by the Shade family and Casper was talking to him in the same language John was cursing in. She heard her son's name quit a few times. She noticed how the other Shade men looked quite amused while Nora and Athena looked at her grandson and their relative with looks of disapproval.
"When you are quite finished with the foul language maybe I can have a look at that hand", Athena cut in and John and Casper blushed and John held his hand out to her. "I mean honestly, Russian may be a good language to curse in but there are far better uses for the language than just swearing."
"Sorry", John said and hissed when she touched some of his fingers.
"Hm… I think you need to learn how to punch properly", Athena said. "You injured three fingers. Tyler that will be your job." Tyler smirked and cracked his knuckles.
"I do not appreciate you teaching my grandson to punch people without consulting me first", Grandma said and made her presence known. John's face broke into a wide grin and she smiled herself and pushed her way past Athena and Nora and took her grandson's hands. She looked into his eyes and saw a storm of emotion reflected in those blue orbs. She saw pain, sadness, anger and relief. He was happy to see her.
"Grandma", he said.
"Oh sweetheart", Jen said and wrapped her arms around her grandson and hugged him tightly. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too grandma", John replied and hugged her back. She looked up at him and caressed his cheek and pushed some of his hair out of his face.
"You need a haircut", she said and John chuckled. She then started poking and prodding his arms, shoulders, chest, back and stomach. "Hm you're too skinny. You need to eat boy. I know you, you don't eat enough. Are you sleeping? You look worn out and tired. You are looking after yourself as well as the world aren't you? Oh kiddo it's so good to see you in the flesh. I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too grandma", John said and smiled and let her poke and prod him then she held up a finger to his face, her scolding finger.
"Never scare me like that again kiddo", she scolded while wagging her finger at him. "I was so worried when Jeff told me they could not get in touch with you and I got even more scared when I realized you were all alone out there."
"But I was not alone for long grandma", John soothed her. "Cas fell into my life."
"Back into your life", Casper added and Grandma turned to him. "Uh… hi?"
"Hm", Grandma said and peered up at him. She was tapping her chin while staring at him or rather the nasty scar covering most of the left side of his face. "Oh! Casper from university! Of course!" She smiled and patted his arm. "How are you dear?"
"Fine Mrs. Tracy", Casper replied. Jen then looked around at the Shades.
"I hope you are looking after my Johnny", she told them and Charles chuckled and placed a hand on John's shoulder and one on Casper's.
"Of course", he said. "These two have done so much for our company and for the world so I would feel ashamed of myself if I let either of them suffer."
"Besides", Nora said and smiled warmly. "John is one of Lucy's boys and I will always keep an eye on them." Nora Shade and Lucille Tracy had been rather good friends even though their husbands hated each other. The two women had met at so many charity events, galas and other parties for the rich and famous. They had bonded over being born "peasants" and rising to fame and fortune alongside their husbands… and in thinking that Jeff and Charles were being ridiculous. Grandma smiled at Nora and then took John's hand.
"I know you don't want to be near your father or brothers", she said. "But can you at least dance with your old Grandma?"
"Of course, I would never deny you a dance Grandma", John said gently. Looking at Athena for an all clear and the older woman nodded. His hand was not that injured. John offered his arm to his grandmother and led her out on the dance floor. A slow song was playing and he let her do a little twirl so that she could get into position. They looked quite funny with John being almost twice as tall as her. He moved with her carefully, making sure to not do movements that were too advanced for her. She was enjoying it immensely and whenever they twirled around she got a chance to get a look of her son and other grandsons. Jeff was watching, looking a little angry while his sons looked on in longing. At least until Alan took Tin-Tin out on the floor and joined the dancing couples. Jeff offered his arm to Penny not long after that and started to dance with her. Jen smiled as John danced with her. All her grandsons and her son knew how to dance the waltz but only John knew how to really dance. His brothers could lead a girl around the floor but John was the one that knew how to move.
Jen knew a secret about her middle-grandson. John had competed in ballroom dancing when he was at university. Not only that but he had competed with both men and women. He was graceful and agile and just a real dancer. She felt secure when he was leading her around the floor but she could feel that now that he was able… he wanted to let loose. She sadly knew that this crowd would never enjoy a jive or a quickstep. They were too… posh for that. Out of the corner of her eye she did notice Casper Shade move through the crowd to get to the band. She also noticed the lead singer grin widely at him and nod. The music ended and John started moving off the floor with his grandmother when the drummer of the band got up.
"Tarzan and Jane were swinging on a vine!" the drummer said and John twirled around and everyone else turned as well. Casper ran up to John with a grin on his face and held out his hand while the choir sang:
"Candyman, Candyman."
John looked at his grandmother when she nudged him and John grinned and grabbed Casper's hand and the pair walked out on the floor. Casper had ditched his jacket so that he scarlet turtleneck was visible.
"Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double vine!" the drummer called while John removed his tie.
"Sweet, sugar, Candyman", the choir sang and then the music started… and John and Casper started moving. Casper struck a pose and John made three little pirouettes until he reached Casper. Then they really started moving. Jen smiled widely as the pair jived around the floor. At first some people looked aghast or disgusted but soon the energy from the music and the two dancing young men got the whole crowd smiling and some cheering, those that cheered were three of John's brothers. Virgil was clapping his hands to the beat while Gordon cheered and Scott grinned widely.
"Look at my boys go", Nora Shade said proudly to her husband and brother-in-law who looked as shocked as Jeff. Jen was amazed at the speed the two men could move their feet. At points their feet were just blurs!
"I had no idea John could dance", Penny said as she and Tin-Tin joined Jen in watching the couple dance.
"Oh John can't just dance", Jen said proudly. "He's a dancer."
"Look at their feet", Tin-Tin said in amazement. "They are so fast!"
"You need to be fast in a jive", Jen said proudly. "If I was younger I'd ask him to quickstep with me. Alas I am too old for that now."
"You knew about this grandma?" Alan asked, never staying far from Tin-Tin.
"About your brother being a dancer? Why yes. I have watched him dance before. It helps that he is good at gymnastics too." The crowed gasped when both young men made backflips effortlessly. "As you can see." She looked at Alan and saw a sour look on his face and she soon realized why. Tin-Tin was staring at his brother in absolute awe. Alan got jealous so easily. It did not get better that Tin-Tin hurried over to John once the music stopped and Casper and he took a bow to the crowd. But before Tin-Tin got there John was whisked away by a tall man in GDF uniform and Casper got whisked away by his mother. John and Casper would be busy dancing the rest of the night away. Jen was happy for John, he deserved to relax and have fun just as much as his brothers did.
A few hours later John had finally managed to escape the dance floor. He had switched partners a few times but had danced a lot with Vidal and Casper. Not that he minded. He had been shocked to see Vidal there at first but the man had been there on business with Colonel Casey and had been invited to stay by Penny. John now escaped out on the terrace where there was not many people. The air was cold and it was snowing lightly. He looked up at the sky where a few stars could be seen through cracks in the clouds. He felt at ease. He was not sure when he felt so at ease last. He'd had so much fun tonight. He felt a little bad for the people on duty for the GDF but some members of his team had practically carried him off the ship to get him to go home and relax.
"You deserve it Sir!" they said and made sure he would not get on again. He smiled. Did he really deserve it? What his father had said earlier had struck a nerve. He had abandoned his post and his family and by abandoning his post he put innocent lives in danger. He was acting like a brat leaving like that… but to John there had been no other way. He had seen no other way to get his point across. He had seen no other solution… his father did not care for his well-being in his eagerness to get grandchildren and to please his youngest son. John's brothers had seen but had denied what they saw… they had watched without seeing. They had heard but had not listened. At one point in his life he had believed that Scott and Virgil were invincible, flawless, perfect, without faults… heroes that would always protect him. Protect him from people who wanted to harm him, make him cry or ruin him. But since they started IR that had shifted… their priorities went from family to the world and the people on the Island. They had forgotten that he was part of the family… that he needed saving too. That he needed someone to rely on… they relied on him for so much but when it really mattered and he needed them… they had not been there to keep him from falling… Had it been Alan or Gordon in his position they would have launched into space without their father's approval. John knew it. After all… he had always been told that they needed to protect the youngest two.
John looked at his hand which had a small scar at the knuckles. Gordon gave him that during his physiotherapy. Gordon had gotten frustrated and had been in pain. He had thrown a glass in frustration and it would have hit John's face if he had not lifted his hand to protect himself. Instead the glass had shattered against his hand. Gordon had been terrified, but John had never lost his temper or cried or done anything. He had held Gordon when he needed it. He'd pushed him on when he'd needed it. He had been the one Gordon had asked to be there because he had been the only one to balance the caring with the demanding. John knew how Gordon worked. He needed support but he also needed someone to tell him to get off his ass and prove that he was the guy that always proved doctors wrong.
John sighed and looked at the stars again. The stars had been his and Alan's thing. So many nights little Alan had crawled into John's bed and asked about the stars or had asked John to sneak out with him to watch the stars. John had complied and whenever they got discovered he had taken the blame. Alan never repaid him for any of it. John remembered a time he had gotten pneumonia and had not been able to take Alan out to watch a meteor shower, Alan had refused to speak to him for a week. Alan had always been bratty like that, blaming others for things they could not control. John chuckled at a memory of a time where he went to NASA to hold a lecture. Alan had been in the class and Alan had gotten the shock of his life when he realized his older brother was famous, adored and popular at astronaut training. Alan had not realized John had made a name for himself and when he saw that he had… when he realized he'd have to move out of John's shadow… some of Alan's hero-worship turned to resentment. Was that why Alan tried to get out of satellite duty? He resented the fact that John was better than him at something? John knew he was a better astronaut than Alan, their respective NASA records told him so… John just never got a chance to show it because he was constantly stuck on Thunderbird Five.
Well he was no longer stuck and when the GDF got their space program off the ground John would make sure the operatives on it would not spend longer than a month up there and he would go up once or twice a year... maybe. If he did he would still be in charge of coordinating rescues and he would be the person in charge of distributing teams to the correct locations. He would still be useful even though he was in... space. John dropped the thought of space quickly when the fear started bubbling in his stomach. He instead focused on the enjoyment he felt when he was actually needed for something. It felt good to be needed… to be able to actually help people instead of just being a voice on the other end of the line. But… then why did he still feel as if his heart was bleeding? He nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand landed on his shoulder.
"Sorry", Virgil said softly and John turned away from him to look out over the grounds.
"I was just lost in thought", John grumbled. "No biggie."
"I didn't only mean for startling you", Virgil said and leaned on the railing next to John. "I'm sorry for what happened in there with dad."
"I meant what I told Jeff", John said. "I'm done with him and you."
"If that is really true… then I am truly sorry it had to end that way and… it will be… I mean that it is a hard blow losing you. I know I am partially to blame for it… I saw your needs but did nothing about it. I knew you were hurting, I knew you were in pain but I was too scared to do anything about it. Because if I acknowledge what I already knew I would admit that I had failed you." He looked over at John who kept looking at the sky stubbornly. Virgil reached over and carefully put his hand on John's wrist. "Johnny… I am truly sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most. If I could turn back time and change it I would. I should have put my foot down whenever dad let Alan wiggle his way out of duty."
"Then why didn't you?" John asked without looking at him.
"Because I was… I was scared. Scared that I would be forced to spend a month in the station. Space terrifies me the same way the deep sea does. If you open a window you die. So much could kill you, one accident and your life could be through. There would be no time for anyone to reach me in time. It's also the pressure of being the person on the other end of the line… the person that needs to listen… to be there for people who are scared… to be the one so many depend upon. Being down here in the middle of it all is easier. I can see what is going on, I am right there… I would never be able to just sit and listen. I would never be able to… to keep calm and keep my head if anything was to happen to my brothers on the ground. What you did up there John… I… I would never be able to handle it. I have never been that strong."
"And you think I am?" John scoffed.
"No I know you are mentally and emotionally stronger than I am."
"You don't know that", John accused. "You barely know me."
"That's not true."
"Oh isn't it?" John finally looked at him. "You know my favorite author that's true and my favorite food. You know some of my PhDs but you don't know me. Before tonight did you know I am a dancer? Did you know I hate to wear purple and dad gave me a lilac sash anyway? Did you know I still can't stand on a pair of skis because it makes my knees buckle and my mind go blank? Did you know that whenever I hear of an avalanche or take part in a rescue involving one I have nightmares of the time mum died? Did you know that the one thing I hate the most is that I can't trust my brothers anymore?" John turned away from him. "Whatever I am sure those are facts you can find on the internet just like Alan did with my PhDs. You don't need to know me. You never have. Truth is you abandoned me long ago… even though Scott isn't so sure you ever did. You were my brothers and like Gordon said… you should have known something was wrong by just looking at me or speaking to me… then again in recent years you spoke to me and not with me."
"I am sorry for my part in all of it John", Virgil said and gripped John's wrist a little tighter. That John had not pulled away yet was a small victory to him. "And you are right about all of it. I never got to know you as well as I do the others and that is something I deeply regret. I've realized I've missed out on the opportunity to get to know an amazing person. I already know your heart is the biggest one in this entire family…"
"Which is why you are so sure I'll come back", John grumbled and now pulled his arm loose. "Newsflash: I am never going back to how things used to be." John turned to leave but Virgil grabbed his shoulder and twirled him around. John tensed up, prepared for a fight. But Virgil did not try to hit him, instead he pulled his younger brother into a tight hug. Something he had wanted since that mine rescue. John was so shocked he just stood there.
"I love you Johnny", Virgil said. "Never forget that. I am sorry things ended this way… I am sorry to have forced your hand. I am sorry I made you leave. I am sorry I drove you away from us. I am sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I ruined your life. I'm sorry I abandoned you. And I'm sorry for not caring about you the same way you cared about me. You're my little brother… I should have been there for you the way I have been there for Alan and Gordon. I should have been there the way I have been for Scott. I should have been there. I know you said you are never coming back to us… but… could I come back to you?"
"I… I… I…" John stuttered and felt tears well up. "I…"
"You don't need to reply right now. Just know that from now on… if you need me just call and I'll come running. You asked who will rescue you Johnny? I will. From now on I will. In a fix, in a bind you can call on me anytime. In a jam, in a scrape and you think there is no escape you don't need to fear because I will be there."
"That is not how that song goes and you know it…" John whispered.
"Doesn't matter because that is how I see it." Virgil squeezed John a little closer before letting him go. John hurried to the door and when he was just bout to walk through Virgil spoke again. "And if you still feel that you have to listen in on us Johnny… I think you are not as done with us as you think."
"Maybe I listened to make sure you could not find me."
"Well I know where you are now."
"You know nothing Jon Snow."
Despite it all Virgil laughed and if he was not mistaken he saw John's lips twitch as well.
"Goodnight Johnny", Virgil said. "I love you."
"Goodnight Virgil…" John replied and then he was gone. Virgil sighed and looked up at the sky where some stars were still visible.
"Mom… look after John for us", he begged. "Please? We cannot lose him for good." He got no reply and sighed before heading back inside. Now how had John heard them speak? He needed to find out how John was listening in and needed to make sure he used that to make sure John knew he had family on his side still. Virgil was getting his brother back. Just you wait and see.
TBC Thank you for all the reviews! Whoa this is a monster chapter but I just couldn't stop typing. Btw have you guys picked up on the little easter eggs I throw in here and there? *smirks* And they are not all TB related either *evil snigger*