Welcome back to Age of Miracles. Last time, after narrowly avoiding being destroyed by Avarice and her ship, the Imperial Damnation, Dragnarok and his team arrived on Nok, the homeworld of the Indigo Tribe, where Indigo-1 and the rest of the Tribe welcomed them with open arms, before taking them to the Central Power Battery to set up defenses. But while all of this is happening, what are Booster Gold and company up to back on Earth? Read on to discover...
(Our story resumes back in Crime Alley, where Booster Gold, Spider Ham, and a rather angry seeming Deadpool are checking the scene where Nuclear Man was last seen before going on his rampage)
Booster Gold: If Dragnarok's intel is to be believed, this is where Nuclear Man's group gather.
Spider Ham: No surprise they picked this place then. Good thing Batman stayed behind for this one.
Deadpool: (To the reader) Wow, can you believe these guys? Now how did someone as cool as me end up stuck with them?
Booster Gold: You know we can hear you, right? I know you don't like working with people...
Deadpool: Let me stop you right there. I have no issues working with people. I joined this crazy group because that bastard Luthor Jr killed people very close to me when he came looking for other villains to help him in his plan. He found a few, even trying to recruit me. Thankfully I gave him a few cuts for being dumb enough to try.
Booster Gold: He tried to recruit you? That... honestly doesn't surprise me. You've kind of played both sides for as long as I can remember.
Deadpool: More like I played my side.
Spider Ham: Which has made you a ton of enemies on both sides.
Deadpool: It's true.
(As the group examines the alley, a sound of terrified screams can be heard, followed by the sound of someone hitting a wall and trash cans going everywhere a couple blocks away)
Spider Ham: Did you hear that?
Booster Gold: Sounds like trouble. We really should...
(And just as Booster Gold is about to say something, he sees Deadpool has already run off in the direction of the noise, with Booster Gold and Spider Ham rushing to catch up with him, at which point we see the source of the commotion, the supervillain Eraser, his ridiculous pencil helmet knocked to his side, being menaced by a group of Bane, Hammerhead, and Eclipso, specifically the Jean Loring version)
Eraser: (Completely terrified as a light flashes behind his eyes, the same as with Nuclear Man) I... I'll give you anything you want! Please don't hurt me!
Hammerhead: Now, Lenny. Is that any way to greet an old friend?
Eraser: (To Hammerhead) I've never worked for you!
Bane: (Getting in Eraser's face) But you have worked for me.
Hammerhead: What my friend here is saying is that we've made sure your family has been safe from the life you live before. In short, you owe us.
Eraser: I'll give you whatever you want!
Eclipso: Then tell us where the rest of your little group is.
Eraser: I don't actually know where they live! Chang Tzu just calls meetings at Crime Alley and people show up! If anything, he probably lives in one of the apartments in the area. But I swear I don't know about the rest!
Eclipso: You're going to have to do better than that.
Bane: (Throwing Eraser back down) Actually, that will be sufficient. Given Sivana and Sartorius have two potential leads, tracking down el hombre huevo will put us at four to the Legionnaires' one. The odds will be squarely in our favor.
Hammerhead: And in this business, that's all you can hope for.
Eclipso: And what about the pencil here?
Hammerhead: As much as I'd like to snap him in half, we need him alive to find out what that energy was.
Bane: (To Eraser) You live for now, pendejo. But do not expect mercy the next time we meet.
(After apparently releasing his bladder into his suit, Eraser passes out from sheer fear at the sound of this)
Eclipso: So, what's the plan?
Hammerhead: Sounds to me like we need to track down this Chang Tzu character. Crime Alley's not far from here, right?
Bane: Only a few blocks over.
Eclipso: Perfect. Let's fry this egg.
(As the trio of villains leave the alley, heading for Crime Alley, we focus in on the opposite end, to see Deadpool, Booster Gold, and Spider Ham were listening in on the whole thing.)
Deadpool: Seriously, how did they not notice us?
Booster Gold: (Reveals the trio is surrounded by his force field) This thing comes with a cloaking field. Your welcome.
Spider Ham: Looks like they've got eyes on three others. That's at most five of the 17 Dragnarok noted possibly being effected.
Booster Gold: Okay, this calls for a three part plan. First we need to get Eraser over there into safe custody. I should be able to pin a transporter on him while he's unconscious to get him back to the Watchtower. The others can keep him in lockup from there.
Deadpool: No need to tell me the rest, then we go back and defend the Vincent Price ripoff back in Crime Alley
Booster Gold: (Pinning the transporter pin to Eraser) Almost. One of us goes back and tracks down Chang Tzu. There's apparently two other teams out there at least, with Doctors Sivana and Phosphorus running them. The other two of us will go looking for the rest.
Deadpool: Close enough. I nominate the pig go back for the literal Egghead.
Spider Ham: Really? What is this, a bacon and eggs joke?
Deadpool: Pretty much. Hey I never said the guy writing this had good jokes.
Booster Gold: As deliberately bad as that joke may be, Wade does have a good point in not staying behind here. His healing factor would make him useful against Doctor Phosphorus' radiation.
Spider Ham: So you're just leaving me here?
Booster Gold: Not even remotely. My force field can protect against Bane and Hammerhead and I've got enough mind control resistance to stop Eclipso's influence. I'll stay back here. Wade, see what Dr. Phosphorus is up to, and Spider Ham, you're tracking down Sivana.
Deadpool: (To the author as Booster Gold flies off and Spider Ham web slings away) Really? Pitting me against the radioactive bad guy because I have cancer, eh? (Thinking about it) Never tried meta-chemo before. Maybe it'll work!
(With that, the group splits up and we transition to Central City, where Dr. Sivana and the Seven Deadly Sins are terrorizing Big Wheel, in his actual wheel mech, with the aid of Rhino and Beetle. Despite the massive armaments on the wheel, the group of villains are tearing the wheel apart)
Dr. Sivana: Mr. Wheele, we really could have avoided all of this if you had just surrendered the first time we asked. Now you're not such a Big Wheel anymore.
Beetle: Seriously though? That was your alias? What were you thinking? You aren't exactly keeping your family safe from that.
Big Wheel: (With a flash of light behind his eyes) Hey, don't be so judgmental about it! It was a nickname I never outlived!
Rhino: Still is dumb!
Dr. Sivana: (As he reabsorbs the Seven Deadly Sins) Now then, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. What do you know about that energy signature in Gotham?
Big Wheel: Wait what?
Rhino: You don't know?
Dr. Sivana: It's very clear to me we're going to have to do things the hard way. (To Rhino) Rhino, if you would.
Rhino: Gladly.
(Just as Rhino is about to pound Big Wheel's face in, Spider Ham swings in, webs up Rhino's face and jumps into the scene)
Spider Ham: Not if I have anything to say about it!
Dr. Sivana: You've got to be kidding me. They send a pig after me? This is ridiculous. (To Beetle) Beetle.
Beetle: Don't have to tell me twice. Time for a barbecue
(As Beetle charges, Spider Ham manages to dodge both him and a later joining Rhino, both of whom fall pretty quickly. But Dr. Sivana is by far a tougher opponent, having all the Seven Deadly Sins charging at him, and it's too much for Peter Porker to handle.)
Dr. Sivana: Does your little group think so little of me that they think you're the one that's best to handle me?
(Just as Dr. Sivana is about to slaughter Spider Ham, a glowing ankh illuminates behind him as Doctor Fate emerges with the golden android AMAZO and Hawkgirl)
AMAZO: I'd say Peter Porker's too good for you, actually.
Dr. Sivana: Well well, Doctor Fate, Shayera Hol of Thanagar, and Professor Ivo's android. I'm surprised he actually finished you.
AMAZO: He built me, I completed myself.
Doctor Fate: Surrender now, Sivana.
Dr. Sivana: On the brink of victory? Not on your...
(He doesn't get to finish that sentence as Hawkgirl hits him in the face with her mace.)
Hawkgirl: Don't even think about it.
Dr. Sivana: (As Rhino and Beetle get back up) Fine then, let's play this the hard way.
(As the confrontation is about to begin, we transition to the docks of Dakota, where Deadpool is observing the scene, looking for Dr. Phosphorous)
Deadpool: Sheesh, you'd think a literal glowing skeleton would be easier to spot.
(Then, with a flash, the green fire that composes Dr. Phosphorous' being can be seen flaring in...)
Deadpool: Sorry to cut you off, well not really, but we don't have time for narration! Time to kick some tail!
(With this RATHER RUDE interruption complete, Deadpool charges onto the scene only to see Dr. Phosphorous is in fact there, along with Ocean Master and Bullseye, menacing Condiment King.)
Deadpool: (Now seeing who he's up against) Well... this could have gone better. (Seeing who he's rescuing) Seriously? You set me up against an Atlantean Prince, a man who can never miss, and an EVIL FLAMING DOCTOR MANHATTAN to save Condiment King?! THE KING OF THE C-LISTERS?!
Condiment King: (With a light flashing behind his goggles) You think I'm not humiliated enough? I didn't need any more shame piled on me!
Deadpool: (To the author) Do you just like putting me in situations where I can't seem to win?
That's what you get for interrupting my flow.
Dr. Phosphorous: (As Deadpool continues arguing with the author) Who's he talking to?
Bullseye: He always does this. Don't worry about it.
Ocean Master: Enough jabbering. Let's just get rid of him and get the loser in the pickle hat.
(But as the trio of villains is about to charge for Condiment King, Deadpool turns around and aims his guns at them, seemingly knowing they were going to attack)
Deadpool: Please, did you really think I didn't know you three would try to take advantage of me arguing with the author? I'm not that dumb. I've had that move tried on me before.
No you haven't
Deadpool: (To the author) Shut it! Trying to be intimidating here!
(As Deadpool and the author continue to argue, Ocean Master and Bullseye both take up their weapons, only to have them get struck with electricity, while their weapons are removed by an arm in a purple jumpsuit stretching across the scene, but no, it's not Elongated Man. Looking to a nearby rooftop, we can instead see it's Static, Gear, and Rubberband Man)
Static: Huh, looks like Batman was right.
Gear: Even that dimension breaking madness he was talking about?
Rubberband Man: Gear, take a moment and tell me just how many people you recognize in this scene. I'm guessing only three at max.
Gear: Good point.
Static: Now that we've got that settled, time to put a shock to their systems!
(Knowing exactly what Static is talking about, he, Gear, and Rubberband Man rush into action, prepared for the battle of a lifetime, until the shadows seem to come alive and hold them in place as a literal shadow-man in a coat emerges)
Ebon: (To Dr. Phosphorous and his team) Something you three should learn. You don't mess around on my turf without consulting me first.
Static: Ebon?! I thought you were dead!
Ebon: Newsflash Static, I'm much harder to kill than you'd think. That fool Hotstreak though, not so much.
Ocean Master: Release me this instant, shadow-monster!
Dr. Phosphorous: Hold yourself, I think the boss could have use for him.
Ebon: And serve under the boot-heel of some corporate fool from another universe? Hell no. I've already got a better deal lined up. (Pulls the shadows up around Condiment King) Just got to make sure pickle head here stays out of your clutches.
Deadpool: Hold up there, shadow-man. Is nobody going to question how these people just entered the story out of nowhere? Without any sort of...
(Suddenly, a brick falls loose from the wall Condiment King is up against and hits Deadpool on the head)
Deadpool: (To the author) Really?!
You deserved that, Wade.
(Even with a slight concussion, Deadpool still pulls out his guns before shooting at Ebon, causing him to lose concentration on the shadows holding Static, Gear, and Rubberband Man, allowing Static to zap Ocean Master's armor, somehow magnetizing him to the nearest garbage can)
Static: Time to take you guys down!
(But before the battle gets started, we transition back to Gotham City where Booster Gold is checking apartments in Crime Alley to find Chang Tzu, before eventually knocking on the right door, and seeing the egg man tinkering with the same device as earlier.)
Booster Gold: Chang Tzu, we're going to need you to come with me.
Chang Tzu: (Seeing Booster Gold) Finally, the HRL decides to take the threat we pose seriously!
Booster Gold: Threat?
Chang Tzu: Our doomsday device! What else?!
Booster Gold: (Seeing Chang Tzu's device, and not knowing what it is) You mean the giant toaster?
Chang Tzu: IT'S NOT A TOASTER!
Booster Gold: Look, it doesn't matter what that thing is. You're in grave danger, and I'm here to get you to safety.
Chang Tzu: (As a light flashes in his eyes) Seriously? The one time even a C-List hero comes to my door, it's to actually save me?! What kind of a failure of a villain am I?!
Booster Gold: What the heck are you even talking about? You know what? Forget it, we don't have time for this! There's a trio of serious threats heading this way, and for some reason they're looking for you. So we've got to get moving before...
(And just as Booster Gold even says somebody's coming for them, the door is broken down, revealing Bane, Hammerhead, and Eclipso)
Bane: I assume you were saying before we show up.
Booster Gold: Oh great.
(But just as the battle is about to begin, with Booster Gold enabling his force field, the sound of a car horn can be heard as a heavily armored van crashes through the wall of the apartment, before opening to reveal the Punisher, clad in classic gray trenchcoat and skull symbol)
Hammerhead: (Recognizing Punisher) Castle?! The hell are you doing?!
Punisher: Taking care of business. (Activating his earpiece) Battle Van, turn and arm.
(With that, Punisher's van somehow starts driving on it's own, turning so the front faces Bane and company before revealing a whole armory of weapons, including a missile launcher on the roof)
Punisher: (Into his earpiece) Open fire, rockets minimum spread!
(At Punisher's command, the Battle Van starts firing it's weapons on Bane, Hammerhead, and Eclipso, in addition to Punisher letting off a few rounds of his own, before activating his earpiece again)
Punisher: (Into his earpiece) Battle Van, open door, escape code Red: Return to temporary base! (To Booster Gold and Chang Tzu) Come with me if you want to live!
(On command, the Battle Van's doors open, revealing Punisher isn't the only one here, as Lobo can be seen within, along with Draaga, fresh off of War World, and Belial Aether)
Belial Aether: Come on! We can't hold them off forever!
(Getting the message, Booster Gold grabs Chang Tzu, who has passed out by this point, by the leg and drags him into the Battle Van, with Belial Aether, Lobo, and Draaga shutting the door behind them as Punisher gets into the front seat before the Battle Van starts to back out)
Punisher: Battle Van, Heavy Detonator Pack, 10 second delay.
(And as the Battle Van backs out, it drops what looks like a briefcase, but is in reality a bomb with a 10 second detonator, just enough time for the Battle Van to be out of the way. But as the smoke clears, we see Bane, Hammerhead, and Eclipso survived the blast)
Bane: AFTER THEM!
(As Bane, Hammerhead, and Eclipso start chasing after the Punisher, we focus back in on the interior of the Battle Van, where Punisher pushes the front seat back enough to focus on the team behind him)
Booster Gold: Good thing you guys came when you did. Something tells me we would have been scrambled. But... what are you guys doing here anyways?
Belial Aether: Let's just say splitting up wasn't your smartest move, especially knowing that Bane and Sivana were involved. So we decided to intervene. I contacted Doctor Fate to go give Spider Ham a hand, while I brought Lobo over from the Injustice World before calling in Draaga and Frank in.
Booster Gold: Wait, you fought in the Injustice Wars?
Lobo: You bet I did. Belial and I were the biggest, baddest, bastitches in the Republic!
Belial Aether: I knew nothing about this world's Lobo, so I brought in the one I could trust. They're not that different really. As to Draaga and Frank, these two got glowing recommendations from Spider-Man and Superman.
Draaga: Coming from a man of honor like Superman, that means something.
Punisher: Sure, Spider-Man and I may not get along, but he's still one of the best out there.
Booster Gold: Wait, what about Deadpool?
Belial Aether: He's in Dakota. Static's got him covered.
Booster Gold: So, where are we headed?
Punisher: Somewhere safe.
(Seeing their destination, Punisher puts himself back behind the front seat of the Battle Van, as a garage door opens, which the Battle Van pulls into, ending out story for today)
And that seems like a nice spot to end on. So, a lot of new faces to this story. Doctor Fate, Hawkgirl, AMAZO, Static, Gear, Rubberband Man, Punisher, Lobo, and even Draaga on the heroes side, while Ebon joins the villains. But how did he get defused from Hotstreak? And who offered him this deal? More on that later, as we've got to see what's going on on Nok. So be sure to tune in for that! Same time... same channel!