Stress never helped with the nightmares, and tonight they were even worse. Even more than when the events were fresh in my mind. I sat up in my bed drenched in sweat to find the dresser knocked over. The falling of it must have been what woke me up from the dream. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was dead of night, but I knew that I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. I changed my soaked shirt and pulled on a pair of sneakers before sneaking out of my room and out to the roof entrance.

I jammed a stone between the door and the frame and walked out and sat down, dangling my legs over the edge. Now that it was June, I took every opportunity to soak up the hot sun. The worst part about this whole situation is that I would usually seek Dimitri out when the nightmares got really bad, but three weeks into the 'we're pretending we aren't together' bullshit and we were practically avoiding each other at all costs. It sucked more than having to pretend that we weren't together. And I missed him, horribly.

Lissa hadn't picked up on my change of mood which was great, but Eddie had kept asking me about it. I brushed him off and avoided the subject, but the questions were getting annoying. Hell, even Dad picked up on my change and the lack of Dimitri being present during our practices. I simply told Dad that Dimitri was taking up other shifts now that I was prepared enough for trails, but he didn't seem to believe it.

I leaned back on my hands and tilted my head up to the sun, soaking in the feeling of the heat on my face. It almost chased away the fear of the dreams and I started to feel calm again. I laid back and rested my hands over my stomach, closing my eyes and breathing slowly until I felt calm again.

I didn't know how long I was there for, but when a hand clamped down on my shoulder, my eyes shot open only to find Alberta standing above me. The sky behind her was dark.

"Christ Rose! How long have you been up here?" Alberta exclaimed, pulling me away from the edge. I blinked and stretched my neck, kicking myself for falling asleep on the gravel. I pulled myself to my feet and stretched my shoulders while Alberta talked into her radio, letting others know where she found me.

"What time is it?" I asked as I followed Alberta off the roof. Alberta turned and frowned at me before leading me towards my dorm.

"Rose, it's almost lunchtime."

Yikes. I slept for a really long time.

"Get ready and then head to class, Rose. I'd rather not have a reason to give you grief right before trials."

I nodded and slipped into my room and got ready, pulling my uniform on without putting on nylons and stuffing my feet into flats before hightailing it to the cafeteria to grab something quick to eat before classes.

I made it to my class as the final bell rang and I slid into my seat beside Lissa who pinned me in lace with her stare.

Where were you this morning?

I groaned and whispered, "I overslept."

Lissa raised her brows at me but didn't push the matter as the teacher stepped into the class. I kept my eyes forward but could feel a pair of eyes on my back. I turned slowly and looked over my shoulder to find Dimitri at the back of the class with three other Guardians. I met his eyes before quickly turning back to the front of the room, trying to focus on the class. But I couldn't. My mind was still replaying my nightmares in my head over and over again. It was like I couldn't get the loop to stop.

The class went quickly, thankfully, and I was up and out of my seat before Lissa had a chance to put her pencil down. I practically ran from the class to the gym for the other class and changed quickly. Maybe letting out some agitation on a heavy bag would help.

I had a bit of time before the rest of the class got there so I started out on the bag, rolling my shoulders a few times before throwing punches. I focused on the bag, the sound of my fists hitting it and the burn I felt against my knuckles. I spun around when a pair of hands touched my shoulders and out of instinct, my fist flew out.

A hand clamped over it and stopped it mid-throw. I looked up to find the only – and the last – person I wanted to see.

"Look at your hands!" Dimitri chastised, letting go of mine and cupping them gently. I looked down to see the bleeding skin and groaned. I forgot to put on gloves.

Dimitri pulled me towards the bench and gently pushed me to sit down before going to get the first aid kit. Now that I wasn't slamming my fist against the bag, they stung like crazy. Dimitri came back and sat down beside me, taking my bloody hand in his and dabbing at it with a wet cloth.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," I whispered, not wanting to open the vault of feelings that was on the verge of bursting. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn't want to make things more difficult than they already were. Dimitri cleared his throat and kept tending to my hands, gently wrapping them before holding his hand over mine. The warmth of his hand was comforting and I drank in every bit of it before I had to go.

"Rose?"

I looked up at him instead of looking at his hand. "Yeah?"

"You're not ok," he said softly. I shrugged and looked away while chewing on my lip.

"I miss you," I whispered. Dimitri sighed deeply and pulled me towards him, wrapping an arm around me.

"I miss you too Roza. I didn't think we were going to start avoiding each other."

I nodded and sniffed and pulled my hands out from under his. "You're going to be there on Friday, right?" I asked timidly.

"I wouldn't miss your trials, Roza. I plan on being the first one to congratulate you when you finish," Dimitri said tenderly, reaching up to play with a strand of hair that escaped my ponytail. It was a mimic of a time that felt like years ago, and it made my heart flutter in my chest. I met his eyes and the small smile that graced his lips made my heart stop completely for a second before the outer doors slammed against the wall. It was enough for us to pull away from each other after leaning towards one another. Dimitri cleared his throat before picking up the garbage and closing the box.

"Make sure to wear gloves, baby. Can't have your hands torn up on Friday," he said quietly as he stood up, giving me a half-smile before heading towards the supply room.

I closed my eyes and let the music in my earbuds distract me from what was going on. I breathed deeply and tensed up when someone pulled out one of my earbuds.

"If you don't breathe properly, you're going to pass out before you get out there."

I pulled the other one out and turned to face Dimitri, nodding as I wrapped the cord around my iPod.

"I know, just trying to calm myself. I'm not so nervous about the trials, I'm worried about my written exams," I said with a shake of my head.

Dimitri nodded and took my iPod from me, slipping it into his pocket and handing me my hand wraps. I pulled them on and made sure my shoes were tied tightly. I pulled my hair up behind me and looped the band around to secure my hair in place, only for the band to snap in my hand.

Damn. That was the only hair tie I had left.

I muttered a highly colourful word under my breath, expecting a rebuke from Dimitri. Instead, I got a smirk and he pulled his hair tie out of his own hair and handed it to me. I took it with a smile and tied my hair back and sighed. Only a few more minutes until go time. Dimitri grasped my shoulders and gave me a gentle squeeze.

"I'm not going to give you a pep talk because I know you don't need it. I know that you are going to kick ass, and you're going to it well. You got this," he said quietly but I could hear the pride in his voice. I nodded and patted his hands before turning around and getting ready to go next, tightening my hair one last time.

I wasn't sure whose arms were squeezing me harder: Lissa's or Dad's. I could barely breathe. I tried to wiggle out but it was no use.

"You got the highest score!" Lissa squealed in my ear and I chuckled a little. That was shocking! I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything but let my mouth hang open. I was also shocked to see Mom waiting at the end with Dad and she was ecstatic.

"As long as I pass my written exams, I'm golden!" I joked which Lissa punched my shoulder playfully to before she pulled away, letting Dad swoop in and give me a proper hug. I shifted and wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm proud of you. Watching you out there was something else," Dad said into my ear. I gave him a quick squeeze and pulled away, sucking in a greedy breath as Mom casually draped her arm over my shoulders.

"You did very well," Mom congratulated and gave me a kind smile. I leaned against her and wrapped my arm around her waist. That was the only compliment I could remember her ever giving me. My eyes met Dimitri's over Lissa's shoulder as he approached. His congratulations was quick with a chaste kiss on the cheek and a bear hug, whispering how proud he was of me before ushering me out to my family.

"Rose did exceptionally. You as well, Castile. You did very well," Dimitri said as he came to a stop beside Lissa, a smile on his face. It wasn't often that he gave full smiles in public, but he had a reason to right now.

I smiled at him and nudged Eddie who stood beside me. He did do well, and I honestly thought he was going to be recognized as the best in our year, but he ranked second.

"You all did," Dad said. "I think this calls for a celebration."

I rolled my eyes and groaned. It felt like he had money burning in his pockets and he had to spend it.

"Dad," I whined, and I saw a smirk cross his face.

"Nope. We are celebrating. All of us," Dad said pointedly, turning to look at my friends and then to Dimitri. Dimitri nodded, making it clear that he understood that he didn't have a choice in the matter before bidding goodbye and heading off to a meeting.

I wiggled away from my parents and pulled Lissa along, chatting her up about the 'celebration' tonight that I was sure Dad would go overboard on.

"I'm coming, but Tasha just got onto campus. Do you think Christian and her could come? I'm sure Christian would like to come and congratulate you."

I frowned but nodded anyway. I may not have been a huge fan of Tasha because of her feelings for Dimitri, but I figured that it wouldn't hurt if there were other people there. Despite the awkward situation, she was Dimitri's friend and Christian was mine even if I didn't want to admit that.

I split off from Lissa and walked around campus, watching the stars as I went. The air was warm and still and I breathed the smell of the earth deeply. I loved it and loved the stillness of the grounds. I wandered further towards the edge of campus, coming to a stop at the lake. This place felt calm despite the terrors that happened here. So many things would have changed that night if the Mana hadn't done what they had done. The only good thing that happened that night was Dimitri and me, finally becoming one in mind and soul.

I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand, and I spun around only to have my hands caught and pulled forward roughly. The smirk on Dimitri's face was cocky and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You should know better than to sneak up on a Guardian," I said.

Dimitri laughed and let go of my hands. "You aren't a full-fledged Guardian yet, but you are already quite the Guardian."

I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on my hips. "Really? Cause I kicked a lot of Guardian ass today. I think that should qualify me as a Guardian," I said with a smirk. I knew that I sounded like a petulant kid, but I wanted to toy with him a bit. But he didn't play into my game.

Dimitri chuckled and leaned down to pick up the wooden box on the ground and gestured for me to follow him. I shook my head and followed after him before coming to walk beside him, enjoying the closeness. Realizing the direction he was leading me, I raised my brows but followed nonetheless.

It was weird being back in the cabin after what happened the last time I was here, and I wondered if he would notice that things had moved. But he didn't mention it and did the same thing he always did when we came here – sweeping the cabin before starting on the fire. I plopped down on the couch and laid down, groaning as my body stretched on the cushions. Dimitri appeared over me with a smile before lifting my upper body up and sitting down, laying me back down against him.

"Alright Mister 'we need to keep a low profile', what are we doing here?"

Dimitri scoffed and wrapped his arms around me. "I wanted to be able to congratulate my girlfriend without the risk of being caught. Sue me."

I laughed at the sarcasm in his voice and squirmed in his arms to look at him. During my trials, I felt like it was too easy, but that was until I was nearing the finish and Dimitri had stepped into my path. And I hadn't faltered. I had been ready. The fight had been relatively short for us and I was able to faux stake him quickly before moving my "Moroi" to safety. But now looking at him, I can see the bruise creeping up on his jaw and cheek from the butt of my stake, and I reached my fingers up to stroke it.

"I think I deserve a reward for how quick I took you down," I simpered, smiling sweetly at him.

Dimitri smirked and dipped his head down, giving me a real kiss that made my heart flutter in my chest. He pulled away a few moments later and I chased his lips for a second, making him chuckle before brushing my lips again.

"I do have something for you, but if you'd rather have this, that's fine," he quipped and I sat up abruptly.

"What do you mean?"

Dimitri winked and pulled the box off the table and set it in his lap, running his fingers over the lid. He looked at it for a moment before handing it to me.

"These were mine when I graduated. My mentor gave them to me, and now I'm passing them to you."

I opened the lid to find two silver stakes resting in the satin, polished and gleaming. They were beautiful, to be frank. The ends had geometric designs on them, etched into the silver almost like a grip. I looked at him before carefully lifting one out of the case. I rolled it in my hands to find an inscription etched in as well. Глаза боятся, а руки делают.

"What does that mean?" I asked, running my fingers over the engraving. Dimitri smiled and helped me pronounce it.

"Glaza boyatsya, a ruki delayut. It translates to 'the eyes are afraid, but the hands still do'. It means to feel the fear but do it anyway. We are in a line of work where we face fear all the time. I don't ever want you to feel like you can't be scared. It's ok to be scared, but you need to push through it anyway."

I ran my finger over the stake a few times before turning and wrapping my arms around his neck, resting my face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you," I mumbled into his skin. Dimitri wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly, his face turning into my hair. "I half-expected it to be some Zen crap that you tell me all the time."

Dimitri chuckled into my hair and tickled my sides, making me squeal and wiggle in his grasp. I tried to pull away from him, but he had me in a steel grasp, laughing as I squealed and giggled under his touch.

"Ok, ok. I give up! I surrender! It's not Zen crap, I actually enjoy it!" I squealed as he continued to tickle me. He finally stopped and pulled back enough to look down at me with a fond expression.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that."

I rolled my eyes and set the stake back in the box before curling back up on the couch with him, resting my head against his chest. I enjoyed the feeling, the smell, and the heat of him as we sat there watching the flames. We didn't need to fill the comfortable silence with words. Being next to each other was enough.

A rattle at the door pulled us away from each other and the door swung open, revealing a woman I hadn't seen in months.

"Oh. What are you two doing here?"

Ta-dah! It's update day! Sort of? I'm sorry it was late, the last week has been hectic! What do you think of the proverb?

I hope you are all doing well and are healthy!

Big thank you to TheLittleSubmissive for editing my chapter, you're a gem love!

Let me know what you think!:)