Anna observes her family in the aftermath of their journey into the Enchanted Forest.
Another October Story Haul piece! Fair warning, I've been told by no small amount of people that this one is pretty angsty. not your speed? No worries! Fluff is already one the way ^_^
Perhaps life would never go back to normal in Arendelle. Though, how could it? The discovery of a decades long secret? The realization that the country they loved so dearly was capable of cruelty? And what to do with the Northuldra? Unite in shared blood despite history? Make reparations but go separate ways?
These are the questions that loom over Elsa and Anna in the weeks after their adventure to the Enchanted Forest.
Despite requests to stay, Elsa did return to Arendelle. Considering the circumstances, the Northuldra didn't take offense, and welcomed her whenever she could take time away to visit and learn. But Anna sees how the days wear on her sister, rushing this way and that, rarely ever pausing to rest.
Which isn't new, Anna sighs, watching as Elsa sets down her quill and leaves the office, closing the door behind her. A small squeak comes from the floor and Anna sees poor Bruni plop back down after launching himself towards the gap in the doorway. He'd been a second too late.
"Aww, are you okay?" Anna kneels down to check on him. "You'll have to forgive her, she's got a lot on her mind."
Bruni chirps again, giving Anna a smile and an excited pitter-patter of feet. "Oh, of course," Anna nods, "I should have known you'd already forgiven her. A wise and powerful spirit."
The little salamander sparks magenta flame at the praise and darts away, wiggling himself under the door and scampering after Elsa.
Though the Enchanted Forest is many miles away, the spirits are often around, and have complete freedom to roam Arendelle castle. When they visit they spend the most time around the two Fifth Spirits, acknowledging Anna as one of their own. Some are more confined than others however: the Nokk could not leave the water without Elsa's help, but it was a pleasant enough companion to sit with by the fjord.
Anna finds the Nokk there now, observing the ships coming and going.
"It's nice isn't it?" Anna asks. The Nokk turns it's watery head her way, snorting a greeting. "I used to watch them from my window all the time." Anna takes a seat next to the horse who is lounging on the sand, where the surf laps at the shore. "I'll bet you used to watch ships come and go near Ahtohallan, before the Forest closed up." She brings her chin to her knees. The sea washes against the spirit's body, absorbed at regular intervals to swirl around it's flank and belly. "Maybe without the Mist you would have seen my parents'."
The Nokk glances up at her, attentive. Anna gazes back, trying to find answers in it's bright blue eyes. "Would you have saved them?" The Nokk's ear flicks but it's expression doesn't change. Anna chuckles to herself. "From the stories Elsa told, perhaps you wouldn't have. You were trapped and angry and scared in the Forest. Maybe you would have seen them as just one more threat."
A whiny is her reply, and while Anna may still be learning about the Nokk, she's been around flesh and blood horses enough to know that the creature in front of her does look a little remorseful.
"It's alright, I don't blame you." Anna leans back and looks skyward, at the clouds racing overhead. "And I know that you would now, even if we're both uncertain of back then. Elsa may have been at the reins, but from what I heard, it was you that sped faster than a tidal wave to make it back here before Arendelle was destroyed. And your power that helped her hold the water back. I will always be grateful to you for saving my… our home."
The Nokk lowers it's head and rests it near her knee, letting out a long sigh that sends ripples across the shallow waves and scatters sand towards her hands. This time, it's eyes search hers.
Anna takes pity on the spirit. "It's okay. You couldn't be in two places at once. Besides," she emphasized, "you hadn't met me yet and the dam was in the opposite direction of Arendelle. How were you to know?"
A raising of voices sounds over the wall, a commotion in the courtyard.
"Kristoff must be back," Anna says, rising. "I should make sure everything's alright." The Nokk blinks slowly in farewell and dissolves back into the sea.
She was right - Kristoff had returned. As Anna enters the gates she spies Sven already being fed and watered by an enthusiastic Olaf. The reindeer looks tired, no doubt riding hard to get back before sundown. Even the proximity of Olaf's carrot nose doesn't seem to perk him up.
And though it was Sven who'd done all the running, Kristoff is the one who looks the most weary. He and Elsa are deep in conversation as Anna approaches, and while she's not yet close enough to hear, she can see by the slump in his shoulders that he's not happy.
Ever since they returned from the Forest, Kristoff has volunteered his time connecting with the Northuldra, helping them however they needed as they adjusted to life free of the Mist. Additionally, he began serving as Arendelle's unofficial ambassador when Elsa couldn't be around herself. At first Elsa had tried to dissuade him, saying he needed to recover from his own experiences in the Forest, that he didn't need to serve Arendelle in a capacity he wasn't comfortable with. He just laughed and tugged on his sash, saying, "Well you never know, Elsa. They might just be my family too."
The travels were clearly wearing on him, but Kristoff seemed to want to keep moving, keep occupied, always doing something with his feet and his hands.
But Anna doesn't miss the way he sinks gratefully into Elsa's warm embrace. Doesn't miss the way they hug tight. How Elsa disappears behind his broad shoulder, taking a moment to hide in it's shadow. How Kristoff's hands pull her close, as though to remind him of something.
"It will be dark soon," Anna hears Kristoff say as they separate. Elsa turns her head to the west, then up into the hills.
"I'll be back before dinner," Elsa says without looking back. Kristoff nods and steps back.
A horse, already prepared, is brought to Elsa which she mounts and steers towards the gates. She's about to leave when Kristoff calls her name softly from the ground. "Elsa?" Anna is nearly level with them now, but pauses at his tone. "It's okay if you're late. We… we understand. Just," he shuffles on his feet before laying a hand on the horse's side and meeting her eye. "Take care of yourself, promise?"
Elsa's eyes glisten for a moment before she nods. "I've made a lot of promises recently," she replies, her voice strained. "But I'll keep this one."
She flicks the reins and departs. Kristoff doesn't linger either, heading back into the castle with Olaf and Sven.
Anna looks between the two groups: at the rapidly disappearing back of her sister and at the somber march of the three heading home. She puts her hands on her hips.
"Honestly," she huffs, "no one around here knows how to take a break!"
She hears a chittering whistle above her head. Laughter, strange for certain, but a sound Anna has come to love.
"Glad you agree, Gale," Anna smiles as Gale weaves around her clothes in greeting. Another glance tells Anna that Kristoff and the others were nearly inside. Elsa on the other hand had vanished as soon as she left town. Anna bites her lip as Gale swirls pensively around her. "I know I should probably check on Kristoff but… he does have Sven and Olaf. He- he'll be alright, for now." She points a finger at Gale, "But remind me, okay? If I forget that's on you."
Gale titters in a way that can only be sarcastic, but it only makes Anna grin wider. "Sure, sure, if I really do forget then I'll let you toss me up and down in a whirlwind until I remember. But I think you forget that I've gotten pretty good at coasting your wind. It won't be like the first time."
At this Gale slows, almost bashful, and presses into Anna's cheek like a cat. "It's alright! You were just being cautious! Protecting the Forest and all. Geez," she blew a little air of her own at the wind spirit, making it chitter that laugh again. "What's with you spirits? So sentimental."
She sizes up the rest of the courtyard. The horsekeeper is heading in now that his job is over, and the rest of the animals were locked away. Gale races forward, toying with a latch to one of the horse stables.
"No!" Anna reprimands. "I don't need to take a horse. And especially since-," she falters. "Just… walk with me? It'll be good to have someone to talk to."
Gale floats for a moment, then heads back to tug on Anna's sleeve, urging her forward. "Alright, alright!" Anna laughs breathlessly, letting herself be led. "I'm coming! Aren't I the one who invited you?"
They don't have to travel far, Anna knows where Elsa was heading.
The sun is a golden wedge on the mountain's rocky sides, sending deep purple shadows towards the east. There's a clearing in the forest up ahead, one Anna knows well. She passes Elsa's horse, giving it a wide berth so as not to spook the timid creature.
She hears the sobs she expected, but the sound still cuts her, deeper than any sword.
Elsa is on her knees before the towering headstones of their parents. She hunches over herself, arms crossed against her chest, trying to contain, still, after all these years, the grief and sorrow that live inside her ribs. Her pale hair hangs over her face, which is only a few inches from the ground.
Today has been hard.
Anna knows that Elsa had likely started standing, likely started with talking. Talking until the emotions welled up like the tide, sloshing back and forth and knocking her off balance until something tipped and it all spilled out, scattering her words and knocking her legs out from underneath her.
Anna knows because she's seen it before: the first, second, and third time Anna took Elsa to see their parent's grave after the Thaw.
But Anna also knows that that isn't why Elsa is here this time.
Anna approaches and gazes at the earth before her. It's been well kept, but of course it has. Just enough time has passed for new grass to grow, despite the soft nip of winter at the end of the night. Gifts and decorations still adorn the site, fresh flowers, a stuffed reindeer, a whittled sunflower, and many, many Arendelle flags.
A sound comes Elsa then. Raw. Agonized. Keening.
Inhuman.
Inhuman in that no human being should ever sound like the weight of their despair is crushing them, breaking them, hollowing them out.
Anna is at her side immediately, and she knows, she knows what will happen but she can't stop herself. The sight of her sister's suffering sends trills through her very soul, un-ignorable.
She places a hand on Elsa's shoulder, in comfort, and watches it go right through. Ethereal. Translucent.
Ghostly.
Elsa grieves in front of a third headstone in the clearing, one that bears Anna's name, and continues to weep.
Anna finds no purchase on her sister's form. She hasn't since the first day she got back from the Forest. She walked those miles by herself, alone, the spirits gone or busy with the living. When she finally returned to Arendelle -after the dam, after the flood, after… the dark, dark waters- she saw Elsa and Kristoff and ran forward. Forgetting herself, wanting only to greet them and love them.
They walked right through her embrace, like she wasn't even there.
Because she wasn't.
Bruni found her two days later, on the roof above Elsa's room. Unwilling to stay too close but unable to tear herself away from her friends, her family.
Her life.
That the spirits could see her was a small comfort. Very, very small. But at least she wasn't alone anymore. She'd had plenty of that.
Anna recoils as Elsa shudders through an exhale, her next breath wet and clogged and shallow. Snowflakes start to fall from the sky though there are no clouds, swirling and sticking to grass and fallen leaves. Elsa's control is slipping, and Anna can't take it anymore.
"Gale-," Anna's voice breaks. "Please..."
The wind spirit knows what she is asking.
It takes a few seconds, but soon leaves and soft grass stems swirl gently around Elsa's body, dancing in air, pressing gently against her hands to coax them free of their white knuckled grieving. "Gale?" Elsa asks breathlessly, and Anna feels the need to cry herself. Her sister's voice is hoarse and fragile. Weak like a fractured eggshell. Flower petals wipe away the tears that soak Elsa's cheeks. Gale tips Elsa's head up as more objects join the bobbing air current, drawn from the forest and hills beyond.
"What are you...?" Elsa begins, but as a shape takes form she gasps, fresh tears brimming in her eyes.
A simple crown weaves itself into creation before her. Sunflower petals interlace with stalks of wheat and flashes of red maple leaves, bound together with precision and care. The purple head of a crocus flower, the last of the year, or perhaps the first of the new, is the final piece added before the adornment floats toward Elsa's head and settles atop her hair, as gentle as a mother's hand.
Or a sister's.
Recognition widens Elsa's eyes and she whirls around, staggering upright on unsteady feet.
"Anna!?"
The desperation, the hope, rings out like glass on the brink of shattering. Anna feels her breath catch in her throat as her sister looks at her for the first time since the ice boat ferried her away down the side of a cliff. She reaches out like she did before, even takes a step forward.
Until she realizes Elsa's eyes are still searching. Looking past her.
After a few moments where Elsa's heart hammers in her chest and Anna's tries to recall what that might be like, Elsa's shoulders drop and it's a folding, a shrinking, an inward sinking. She is smaller than Anna has ever seen her.
But...
Elsa takes the crocus flower from the crown, plucks a sunflower petal and a soft head of wheat, and with a careful weaving of her own she protects them in ice. Smaller, but no less special than the frozen star atop the Christmas tree years ago, and cradled with just as much care.
Elsa holds the creation to her chest and Anna feels Gale nestle around her shoulders.
Both sisters speak at the same time.
"Thank you. I love you. I miss you."