Chapter 10: Finally Talking, Pt 2
A/N: Thank you to the reviewers who asked about a flashback of Maura receiving the RSVP card and deciding to leave Ian. I originally had that whole section in the Disappointments and Surprises chapter but took it out to make the end more of a surprise. I then moved it to this chapter as a flashback, but after people complained about too much Ian and too much angst, I had been considering deleting the whole section. I'm glad people are interested though, so I've included the flashback! Thank you to the reviewers who made that decision easier and to all of my reviewers!
Jane helped Maura over to the couch and helped her sit in one of the corners. She then plated pizza for both of them and made sure Maura still had plenty of water. Jane was incredibly nervous. Realizing she never actually asked Maura if she wanted pizza, Jane said, "Sorry, I just made an assumption. Would you like pizza – it's pepperoni? Otherwise, we can order something else."
"I'm fine with pizza, thank you," Maura said. "I might explore your kitchen earlier to see if I can find anything healthy."
"Ohh, good luck with that," Jane said. This made Maura laugh releasing a little bit of the tension in the room.
"But before we eat, could I use the bathroom?" Maura asked.
"Of course. It's down that hall on the right." Jane waited for Maura on the couch and continued to nibble at her pizza. Jane was feeling very unsettled. Did Maura really love her? Did she really leave Ian? If she loved Jane, why did she agree to marry Ian? Okay, that would have been a hypocritical question since Jane was already in love with Maura when she was with Casey. but this leads to other questions. If Maura truly loves her, how long has she felt that way for or at least been aware of her feelings. Was Jane's relationship with Casey hurting Maura as much as Maura's relationship with Ian had hurt Jane?
Jane's internal tirade continued. Jane has already been feeling like they've lost their friendship, but maybe Maura wants to save it too? On the other hand, what if they just make it worse; could it even get any worse than this? This year, especially the last few months have been the worst of her life. She liked teaching, but she didn't see herself teaching long-term. She needs more action and variability than this. Plus, she likes her new friends here, but she won't miss them anywhere as much as she's missed Maura and her family this year. What did Maura really want? Friendship? Dating? Marriage and a Family?
Deciding she needed to distract her thoughts, she pulled out her phone and ordered two salads to be delivered from the deli down the street. Maura walked back into the room just as she finished placing the order.
"Jane, Jane, Jaaaaannne!" Maura called for her attention.
Shaking her head to pull herself out of her train of thoughts, she said, "Sorry, I was lost in thought."
"I could see that. A penny for your thoughts?" Maura asked, not wanting to be the one to start the conversation.
But Jane didn't want to start either, "You're the one who came here unannounced. I think you need to tell me more about why you're here and what you want for us." That came out a little colder than Jane had intentioned, but she has really been hurting. It's hard to keep that emotion from coming out.
"Yes, okay. I suppose that is fair." Maura added, "I can leave though if now isn't a good time." Maura hated herself for trying to find an out.
"No. We need to talk. We've needed to talk for months. You came what 500 miles from Boston, and I kicked a guy out of my apartment. I think it's safe to say both of us have the whole evening to talk."
"Oh my god. I kicked your date out. I'm so sorry," Maura said.
"We've already gone through this. It wasn't a problem for him to leave. We can talk about him or whatever else you want to talk about after we talk about our relationship and what is going on with you and Ian. So stop stalling and tell me why you're here."
"Well, I guess the easiest place to start is to say that my relationship with Ian is over, regardless of what happens between you and me."
Flashback – Earlier that same day
Maura's POV
Nina walked into Maura's office with her mail.
"Hi, Maura. I grabbed your mail from the mailroom upstairs. I hope that's okay," she said as she handed Maura the pile.
"Thank you, Nina," Maura said. "We've had our RSVP cards sent here. It was a recommendation from a wedding planner during the 'trial' session. We didn't end up going with him, but the recommendation had stuck with me. We decided to do that, but I actually would not recommend this way of doing it to other people planning their weddings. It's just a bit weird to get this much personal mail at work. We're allowed to get personal mail here. I checked."
Nina laughed, "I have no doubt that you know all of the rules front to back."
"Some guests were confused by the address, too."
"Yeah, I can see that. Hopefully, anyone who can't figure it out, would just ask. Otherwise, if it's a small enough number that you haven't received RSVPs from by the deadline, you can reach out to them directly. We had to do that, if you remember."
"I do," Maura said vaguely as she started opening the envelopes. "Do you want to help?" she asked Nina since there were so many handing her a few envelopes.
"Sure, and I just create a pile?" Nina asked.
"Yes, I'll enter everything into my spreadsheet later. It's just easier when they aren't in the envelope."
"That makes sense," Nina said as she began opening envelopes.
"A lot of people waited until the last minute to RSVP," Maura commented.
Nina laughed, "Not everyone is as organized as you are. You will get some late too."
"I know but it frustrat…" Maura abruptly stopped talking.
Noticing Maura's change in demeanor, she looked up and asked, "What's wrong?"
Maura didn't answer, she just sat there in silence.
"Maura, Maura, talk to me," Nina pushed.
"I have to go," Maura said as she jumped up from behind her desk.
Nina stepped in front of her, "You're not going anywhere until I know you're okay, so tell me what is going on or I will handcuff you to your desk."
"You wouldn't," Maura said.
"Want to try me?" Nina said, raising her eyebrows.
Giving in and turning to lean against her desk, Maura said, "You've been spending too much time with the Rizzolis."
"Maybe you haven't been spending enough time with the Rizzolis. But it also comes from growing up on the southside of Chicago."
"What do you mean I haven't been spending enough time with the Rizzolis. I see Angela, Frankie, you, Tommy, and TJ all the time," Maura defended.
"I'll explain my meaning after you explain your reaction to whatever was in that envelope."
Maura looked down at the envelope and sighed. Looking up at Nina with tears threatening to fall, Maura said quietly, "Jane isn't coming to my wedding." Maura handed the RSVP card to Nina. While Nina was looking at it, Maura moved to sit on the couch and Nina followed her.
"Maura, I'm sorry, but I'm sure there is an explanation," Nina started.
Before Nina could continue, Maura cut in, "No. There is no excuse good enough for this." Maura was starting to get hysterical now, "She's been pulling away all year. I get it, she doesn't want me in her life anymore, but I thought she would never be mean enough to do this, to skip my wedding out of spite."
"Okay, Maura, stop," Nina said calmly. "We have to stop skirting around the issue here."
"What do you mean?" Maura asked sounding defeated.
Nina took a deep breath. She hadn't planned to have this conversation when she brought down the mail today, but apparently it was now or never.
"You and Jane are two of the best people I know, but you are both being the biggest idiots right now. You're both hurting each other, and it has to stop. You're both miserable," Nina told her.
"But, I don't understand…" Maura tried.
"Okay, I'll say this as bluntly as I possibly can. You are in love with Jane and Jane is in love with you. And, I don't mean friendship love. I mean real romantic, she's my soulmate love."
Maura's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped, "But..I don't…I mean, I do, but…on my god!"
"Take a deep breath, Maura," Nina said. Seeing that Maura was at least breathing relatively normally, even if the shock hadn't fully worn off, Nina continued gently, "Jane may have been the one that moved away, but you have made it extremely difficult for her to maintain a relationship with you. It started in Paris, you left her what three days in a row during your last week there so you could be with Ian. You and Ian planned a trip during one of the few times she was in Boston. But, I think the worst was missing her birthday and at least not going immediately the weekend before or after. You haven't even visited her yet and I've heard her ask you numerous times. I'm guessing she's also asked you plenty of times in private or on the phone or through a text, as well. Plus, you're flaunting your wedding and relationship with Ian in her face any chance you get. It's fine for you to talk about those things. You're marrying him, presumably you love him, then. I just think you should be a little more respectful of Jane's feelings. The no maid-of-honor things was a really crappy thing to do to her."
Maura hung her head, ashamed, as she tried to stop the tears.
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I do understand that that is what is happening. I just think you need to talk to Jane about all of this. I've said the same thing to her. She refuses to because she doesn't want to interfere with your relationship with Ian. And you weren't picking up my more subtle hits at the rehearsal dinner or random Sunday Dinners."
"I don't know what to do," Maura said.
"Well to start, do you want Jane to be a large part of your life, even if from afar?" Nina asked.
"Yes, more than anything," Maura answered quickly.
"Okay, do you want to marry Ian?" Nina continued.
Maura took longer to respond this time, "I want to get married."
"Don't think I didn't notice that you didn't really answer the original question. I'll be even more direct. I'm not saying it has to be this way, but if it came down to it and you could only have Jane in your life or Ian in your life, who would you choose?"
"No one is going to make me choose," Maura said in an attempt to not answer the question.
"Well, from the looks of it, someone seems to be trying to make you choose. I don't know if it's really coming from you or if you're feeling pressure from Ian or from Jane, but something is going on."
Maura sighed. Then, looking Nina directly in the eye, "I'm not sure if someone is making me choose or if it's true that someone is trying to influence my relationships, but I knew the answer to your original question the second you asked it."
"And?" Nina asked.
"I would pick Jane, hands down. I will always pick Jane. I guess I just thought I could have both my best friend and a family," Maura said.
"I think you can if you're honest with yourself and with Jane about what you want. I don't think Jane is trying to keep you from having a family even if it is with someone else, but what if you can have all that with Jane?"
"What do you mean?" Maura asked.
"You can trust me Maura. I'm not going to go telling anyone about this conversation, not even Frankie, because it is clear to me that you need someone to talk to. Whatever you decide to do with regards to Ian and/or Jane, I'll always be here for you to talk to, but I think you'd still prefer to be talking to Jane. Which leads me back to my question, what if you could have everything, your best friend, a happy marriage, kids, grandkids – just don't be as pushy as Angela please – a full life with Jane?"
Maura could no longer hold onto her tears. Nina moved closer to her to give her a hug while she cried. She knew Maura didn't love physical comfort, but this seemed like a time it might do more good than harm.
After a few minutes, Maura pulled back. She had stopped crying, but you could still hear the pain in her voice, "I want everything with Jane. I always have, but it's not possible. She doesn't feel the same. Besides she lives in a different state."
"You need to talk to her. That is the only way you will actually know how she feels. What happened to Dr. Isles doesn't guess?" Nina said with a smirk.
Maura let out a soft laugh, "I don't guess. It's a hypothesis based on years of collecting evidence."
"Circumstantial evidence?" Nina played along. "You know that won't hold up in court. We need a confession."
Maura laughed. Then, her eyes went wide again. She stood up quickly to gather her things and turned to Nina, "I'm taking the afternoon off. I'm going to break up with Ian. Whatever happens with Jane, being with Ian still isn't the right choice. Then I'm going to talk to Jane. Really talk to her."
"You go girl!" Nina said despite her surprise at Maura's abrupt decision.
"Thank you, but please don't tell anyone anything. I want to be able to tell them when I'm ready. Besides, the last thing I need is for Angela to know I broke up with Ian before Jane knows."
Nina laughed, "Very true. I promise I won't say anything to anyone, but please text me tonight. Even if you don't feel up to telling me how it went, at least let me know you are okay."
"I will," Maura promised. "And, Nina, thank you. Thank you for finally helping me see what's important to me.
"Anytime, now get out of here," Nina said as she pushed Maura out the door.
Maura made it home about half an hour later. Ian was already home having only worked a morning shift at the clinic.
"Hello, Maura, dear. I wasn't expecting you home until later," Ian greeted her.
"Yes, I left work early. We need to talk," Maura told him. She had felt so confident on her drive home, but now that she was standing in front of him, she was incredibly nervous.
"Okay…about what?" Ian asked with concern in his voice.
Maura took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm so incredibly sorry, but I cannot marry you." Maura pulled off the engagement ring and held it out to Ian. "I'm sorry. I will pay for everything and any money we forfeit during the cancellation process including travel and hotel rooms for guests. I'm really sorry Ian."
"Maura, I don't understand," Ian said. He was confused, but his anger was also rising quickly. "What changed so drastically so quickly?
"That's the thing. This hasn't been drastic. Yes, maybe I should have talked to you, but I've been feeling like this isn't working for months."
Ian was mad now. "Months!" he yelled making Maura flinch. "This is about Jane isn't it. What did she say to you? This is ridiculous. You really need to cut Jane and the rest of the Rizzolis out of your life so that we can live our life together the way we want to."
"What are you talking about?" Maura's voice rose as she continued, "The Rizzolis are my family and that is the way I want my life to be. They are important to me. Jane is important to me."
"You haven't been important to her, though, lately. Have you?" Ian asked.
That hurt Maura, "We've struggled to stay connected since her move, but I am determined to figure out how to fix our relationship. And you know what, I resent that comment coming from you. You've done a lot to make it difficult for me to see or talk to Jane. You knew how much I was looking forward to her being home during the holidays and you went and planned a surprise trip during her last few days there. I thought you were just oblivious, but now I think maybe you did it on purpose. Have you also been lying about the limited weekends we can do things for the weddings to make sure that I haven't had any open weekends to visit Jane?"
"Now, you're just being paranoid," Ian quipped.
"No, I don't think I am. We're done. I want you out of my house, now."
"I need my things," Ian argued.
"You can come back this evening and/or tomorrow night to move out. I don't care where you go, but you aren't staying here. You have to be out by noon on Sunday. I'm going to have the locks changed before Sunday Dinner. And I don't want to be here while you're here, so I'm not going to be."
"Where will you be?" Ian asked.
"That's of no concern to you but know that if you purposely ruin any of my possessions or anything in this house, I will sue you."
"You're not litigious," Ian mocked.
"Try me," Maura said, and Ian finally gave in knowing the look on her face meant business. "And don't come near me or any of the Rizzolis, or we will have problems."
Ian took the ring from the counter where Maura had left it and walked out the front door.
Maura was in shock. She wasn't sure if she had ever stood up for herself like that before. She was also terrified of what comes next. Deciding she was going to keep going with the momentum, she wrote Angela a note and left it on the counter in the guesthouse. She knew Angela was working all afternoon and wouldn't see it until around 8. Then she ordered an Uber, grabbed her purse, and walked out the door.
The Uber took her directly to the airport where she purchased the fastest flight to the DC area. She ended up getting a flight to Reagan National.
"Wow," was the only thing Jane could say in response to Maura's story about getting the RSVP card, her conversation with Nina, and her breakup with Ian. "So, um, I guess what is it that you want from our relationship?" Jane asked.
"I want you, Jane. In whatever capacity I can have you. You are the most important person in my life and I'm sorry I lost sight of that. I'm willing to do anything to show you that I mean what I'm saying."
"Maura, I was serious when I said I wanted more. I want to be more than friends. I want to date you, to marry you, to have a family whatever that may look like. I want everything. You are my everything."
"Really?" Maura questioned as silent tears started falling down her face.
"Yes, really. As long as you want that too."
"I do. I really do. And sex."
"And sex," Jane repeated under her breath with a laugh. Returning to her normal tone of voice, Jane said to Maura, "Yes, Maura, for me dating and marriage imply sex, just not tonight, okay?"
"I just wanted to be clear so that we don't have any more miscommunications," Maura stated matter-of-factly.
Jane laughed, "I mean, I agree. It's just funny that you chose to start with sex."
Maura shrugged, "It's an important part of a romantic relationship and I'm fine waiting until you're ready. I'll wait as long as you need. I want you to be comfortable."
"Implying you're already comfortable with the idea?" Jane asked.
"Yes, I'd make love to you tonight, if you wanted to," Maura said causing Jane to laugh again.
"Okay, good to know, but just so we're clear, it's not really about not being ready for me. I am ready, or at least as ready as I will ever be to have sex with a woman for the first time," Jane paused.
"Okay, then I don't understand," Maura said.
"I want our first time to be about us. I want it to be special. I expect it will be my last first time."
"Mine, too," Maura added.
"And a lot has already happened today. I mean you were engaged this morning and I had a guy over for sex like an hour ago. That's not a good lead in, not for us."
Maura smiled, "You can be very romantic, you know."
Jane returned her smile, "Don't you dare tell anyone."
They took a few minutes to eat their pizza in silence before Jane spoke again. "We still have a lot we have to work through, you know. And I know we don't need to get through all of it tonight, but we should at least talk through the most important topics."
"I agree," Maura said.
DING DONG
"Now who is here," Maura said with indignation, causing Jane to laugh.
"Just a sec," Jane told her as she went to the door to get the salads. Walking back to the couch, she said, " I knew you weren't really okay with only having pizza for dinner if you hadn't had a perfectly balanced lunch, which it doesn't sound like you did. I know this probably isn't as nutritious as you would prefer, but I ordered salads while you were in the bathroom."
"Oh, Jane. You didn't have to do that. But thank you. That was really sweet," Maura said. "Wait, Jane Rizzoli knows a place to get salads?" Maura joked.
"Ha ha, very funny. If you want to know, I had found a few places around here that had food that you would like if you ever came to visit."
"Oh," Maura got quiet and looked down at her lap.
"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Let's just talk about it okay?" Jane asked.
Maura nodded, "I'm the one who should be sorry Jane. I should have tried harder to find a weekend that worked."
"Maura, I understand that you have an incredibly important job and that you are busy."
"I know, but I never meant to make you feel unimportant," Maura replied. "I know the lack of in-person visits falls on me, but why did you stop calling me and texting me? Did I do something? At first, I thought it was just because you were busy with finals between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it's only gotten worse with time. Now I'm the only one who ever initiates a conversation."
"Are you really asking me that?" Jane asked incredulously.
"Yes. I don't understand."
"But it's what you wanted," Jane stated.
"What? Why would you think that is what I would want? I loved talking to you. For the first couple of months, I had really thought we could make the long-distance thing work, even if I didn't find it ideal, but then you pulled back."
Jane stared at her blankly for an uncomfortably long time before blurting out, "I got played! Oh my god, Ian totally played me, didn't he?"
"I still don't know what you're talking about," Maura said.
"On the Sunday after Thanksgiving, you were downstairs, cleaning with Ma, I think, and I was in the guest room packing. Ian came in and asked if we could talk."
"About what?" Maura asked.
"About you and how much I was calling and texting you. He said that I was leaning on you too much and that it was upsetting you. He said that you wanted to support me, but that you felt like I was taking you away from being able to do social things with the people still in Boston. He also told me that you would talk about it to him, and he just wanted to help."
"Why didn't you ask me directly?"
"He asked me not to. He said that you would never want me to know that I was bothering you and that you would just feel bad if you knew that I knew. Honestly, that part made sense. I've seen you do that with so many people over the years. I never thought it would be me, but I guess it was."
"It wasn't," Maura said. Fresh tears were falling. "That is the exact opposite of what I wanted and the opposite of what happened. I don't know how many nights I cried to him that I felt like I was losing you and we never talked." Maura paused, clearly deep in thought, "He told me that I should give you some space and that you would be more likely to contact me if you hadn't heard from me for a few days…" Maura trailed off. Then, she abruptly jumped up from the couch and began pacing.
"What is happening right now?" Jane questioned.
"He manipulated us, both of us, and not just about talking on the phone. How can I have been so stupid? I've read about emotionally abusive relationships. The abuser always tries to alienate the other person from everyone around them. That's exactly what he was doing. I can't believe I didn't see it. He's the reason we re-did the guest room over Christmas, he planned that New York trip to coincide with the time you were in Boston, he's planned most of the wedding related events on my weekends off – I guess I can't blame him for the weekends I have to work – and I bet he specifically asked his parents to visit your birthday weekend. Oh, I just want to punch him in the face right now. He's the reason I didn't ask you to be my maid-of-honor. I mean, I'm probably the most socially awkward person I know, and I could find people to stand up with me. He really couldn't find someone? He should have known how important that was to me and just asked someone. You would." Maura stopped abruptly, realizing what she was implying.
"I already said I wanted to marry you, so you don't have to freak out at any mention of a wedding or marriage," Jane said.
"Why aren't you more upset?" Maura asked.
"Oh, I'm pissed. I'm just still a slightly frozen in shock from your little speech there," Jane replied.
Maura rolled her eyes.
"Come, sit back down," Jane said to Maura. "Eat your salad. I got you a Greek salad."
"Thanks," Maura said as she sat back down.
"Don't get me wrong, Maura. I'm seriously pissed, and we will come back to this, but let's talk through the things we do have control over.," Jane said.
"Are we talking about starting a romantic relationship?" Maura asked.
"I thought we already agreed on that," Jane replied.
"Yes, but Jane. We live in different states. I know we can do long distance for a while, but we can't do it forever. Do you want me to move here? Are there any opportunities in Boston for you? Do we want to do something new? How do we decide? I really can't do long distance forever."
"Can you do it for two weeks?" Jane asked.
"What? Two weeks? What happens in two weeks?" Maura was confused.
"My contract with the FBI ends at the end of the month and I didn't renew it. My last day is Friday, July 28th."
"Wait, so you were already planning to come back to Boston?" Maura asked.
"Honestly, I wasn't sure what was next for me. I have another month on my lease and enough in savings to hold me over for a few months while I figure out my next steps. But if we're doing this," Jane said pointing between the two of them, "then I'm coming back to Boston. You've worked so hard for your position. I could never ask you to give that up. Besides, this feels right." Jane smiled.
Maura sat in thought for a while. Jane decided to let her think and returned to her pizza. She also reluctantly ate the Caesar salad she had ordered for herself so that Maura wouldn't force feed her part of her Greek salad.
After about ten minutes, Maura spoke, "What if I don't want to do two weeks?"
"Um. I love you Maura and if you needed me I would walk out in a second, but I don't think I'm willing to leave my job before the two weeks are up without a really good reason."
"Oh, no. Sorry. I wasn't asking you to leave your job early. I wouldn't ask that. I don't want you to burn any bridges with the FBI," Maura clarified. "What I meant was what if I stayed here with you until you move home? I currently have five weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon. Obviously, I won't need to take that time anymore. If Kent is willing to handle the ME's office for the next two weeks, I think the governor would be amenable to having me take off the next two weeks in place of those five weeks in late August and September."
Jane's face lit up, "Seriously. I would love that. Also, I think that might be really good for us. Time to reconnect and talk without the pressure of the rest of our family around."
"I agree. So it would be okay with you if I stayed?"
"Yes. Yes. Yes!"
Maura laughed, "Okay, let me text Kent right now. Then if he agrees, I will email the governor." Maura went to get her phone from her purse. She stopped in her tracks when she looked at the screen, "Oh."
"What's wrong?" Jane asked.
"No, nothing's wrong. I just have an absurd number of missed calls and texts from your mother."
Jane rolled her eyes, "What did you tell her?"
Jane's phone immediately started ringing. "It's Ma," she said holding up her phone to Maura.
Maura took a deep breath, "You might as well answer it before she files a missing persons' report on me."
"Hey, Ma," Jane answered the phone trying to sound nonchalant.
"Jane, oh I'm so glad you answered. Something happened with Maura and Ian and I can't get ahold of her. I'm really worried something is very wrong," Angela's voice was full of panic.
"Ma, stop. I've talked to Maura. I know they ended their engagement, but she's okay. I promise." Jane wasn't sure if Maura wanted her mother to know that she is in Virginia.
"You talked to her?" Angela asked.
"Yes, Ma. You know I wouldn't lie about something when it comes to Maura," Jane told her making Maura smile.
"Do you know where she is?" Angela questioned.
"Yeah, Ma. I do, but can you just leave her alone for a little while? I promise you can suffocate her in love soon," Jane said.
"Fine, as long as you tell me if you hear anything more," Angela acquiesced.
"I will. Goodnight, Ma."
"Night, Janie."
Jane hung up and turned back to Maura. "Sorry, I didn't know if you wanted her to know you were here. What exactly did you tell her to make her panic like that?"
"I left her a note. All it said was that Ian and I had ended our engagement and that I was heading out of town for the weekend. I also said that Ian would be getting his possessions out of the house tonight and tomorrow and that I told him he had to be out by noon on Sunday. I'm going to have the locks changed before Sunday dinner. I suppose if I'm staying here, I should check with your mother to see if she is willing to be there while they do that."
"What do you want to tell her about being here?" Jane asked.
"Honestly, I'd like to tell her the truth, but I understand that you may not be ready for that. I'm willing to keep our relationship private for a while as long as you promise to tell your family and friends eventually."
"Oh, Maura. I don't want to hide this," Jane said as she stepped towards Maura. "I thought you might want to keep it private until you had let everyone know about your engagement. I didn't know if you were more comfortable telling them that now then about us in a couple of weeks. I don't want you to feel pressured to tell everyone both things at the same time."
Maura smiled up at Jane, "Really? You would be willing to tell people right away?"
"Absolutely! We can call Ma back right now," Jane said.
Maura laughed, "I want to tell people too. I don't want to hide something that makes me so happy. Our friends and family will understand. Yes, other people might judge me for leaving my fiancé to immediately start a new relationship, but honestly, I don't really care what they think."
"People might assume we were having an affair," Jane added.
"Yes, but those close to us won't."
"As long as you're okay with it, I'm on board."
Maura stepped into Jane's space to give her a hug and Jane pulled her impossibly closer.
Maura stepped back. "There is one more thing that's really bothering me though," Maura said.
"Yeah?" Jane replied pulling Maura back to sit on the couch.
"It's a bit of a sensitive topic," Maura said.
"Maura, I want us to be able to talk about anything," Jane said sincerely.
"Do you want children?" Maura asked.
Jane looked at her, "I would like to raise children with you, but it's not a deal breaker for me. If you don't want children, I would be okay with that, too, as long as we're together."
Maura paused for a minute as she chewed on her bottom lip.
"That wasn't the hard part of your question, was it?" Jane asked.
"You didn't trust me to be your baby's godmother. How can I believe you actually want to parent a child with me?" Maura asked, her voice full of emotion.
"Oh, Maura…" Jane started.
"Please just tell me the truth, Jane."
"I hated that conversation because I couldn't tell you the truth, but I also couldn't lie to you."
"I don't understand."
"I know. I'm trying. This is uncomfortable for me," Jane said. "I've been in love with you for quite a few years. I was already in love with you back then. I just didn't think it would ever be an option. So the truth was that I didn't want you to be my baby's godmother. I wanted you to be my baby's mother. I wanted to raise that child together."
"Oh," Maura said quietly.
"I knew it was never something I could ask of you. Honestly, I had already pushed the limits of friendship in asking for your help. Asking you to co-parent would have been completely inappropriate."
"I would have said yes," Maura whispered.
Jane gave her a sad smile before continuing, "I want to raise kids with you, Maura, as long as you want that too. And I'm so so sorry I hurt you back in March during that conversation. I should have just lied and said yes. I just wasn't expecting that question and I didn't know how to answer."
"I understand that it's a difficult topic regardless of our relationship. I'm sorry I brought it up back then."
"I'm serious when I say I want you to be able to talk to me about anything," Jane said.
"I know, but there was probably a more appropriate time. But just so you know, I'd really like to have children with you as well," Maura told Jane.
Jane smiled and pulled Maura in for a passionate kiss.
Maura pulled back, whispering, "If we go any further, I'm not sure I will be able to stop."
Jane laughed softly, "Okay. Why don't we get ready for bed? Then we can talk more, maybe decide how to tell our parents? Do you want to take a shower? I can grab your bag from the…wait did you leave your bag in the cab?"
Maura's eyes widened, "Oh my god. I didn't bring anything."
"What do you mean you didn't bring anything?" Jane asked.
"I didn't pack a bag. All I have is what I'm wearing and what is in my purse."
Jane's face was shocked.
"What am I going to do? This is so unlike me. I was just so focused on getting to see you that I wasn't thinking," Maura continued.
Jane laughed, "It's going to be okay, Maura. I'm just a little surprise. You're right that this is very unlike you, but we'll figure it out. You can wear some of my clothes tonight. Then, we can go shopping tomorrow, get everything you'll need for the next two weeks. If we can't find something, we'll have Ma send it."
"You'll go shopping with me?" Maura asked with a smirk.
Jane rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I kinda figured you'd make me do that at some point during this trip anyway. It's better if it's actually necessary." Jane laughed.
"Okay. I like that plan," Maura paused, smiling. "I'd really like to tell our parents tonight. What do you think if I took a shower – I'm not sure that I want them to see my face like this – then we can call you mom and my mom?"
"Isn't it the middle of the night in Europe?" Jane asked.
"My mom is in LA for an installation, so actually, the timing would be perfect. We would probably catch her before the evening events."
Jane shrugged, "Sounds like a plan. Here, let me show you where everything is." Jane grabbed towels, and new toothbrush, and everything Maura would need for the shower before showing her how to turn on the shower – it was unnecessarily complicated. While Maura was in the shower, Jane found clothes she could sleep in and left them in the bathroom for Maura before changing herself and returning to the breakfast bar with her tablet. Not long after, Maura joined Jane at the breakfast bar.
"Are you ready to call your mom?" Maura asked.
"Actually, just let me wash my face first," Jane said. She quickly ran to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth before returning to Maura. "Okay, now I'm ready," she told Maura when she got back.
Jane FaceTimed her mom from her iPad, adjusting it so that both she and Maura were in the screen.
Angela answered right away, "Hi, Janie," she started before noticing that both of the were there. "Oh, Maura. Are you okay? I'm so glad you went to see Jane. I've been so worried about you, but I know Janie will take care of you. I can't believe you travelled all the way to Virginia, though."
Jane rolled her eyes as her mom continued to ramble on. She did love that her mom cared so much about her girlfriend though. That thought made her even happier; she loved being able to call Maura her girlfriend. Turning back to the conversation, she heard Maura reply.
"Thank you, Angela. Yes, I'm okay and I'm even more happy to be here with Jane," she said turning to look at Jane. "It was the right decision to leave Ian. Honestly, I don't know why I waited so long."
"I'm glad, sweetie, but I'm still worried about you," Angela said.
"I know. Thank you," Maura replied.
Jane cut in, "Actually, Ma, we also called for another reason, as well. I mean we wanted you to know Maura was okay, too, but…"
"Jane, you're rambling," Maura said.
Jane laughed nervously, "Sorry. Anyway, Ma. You should know that Maura and I are together now, as in a couple. We're dating; we're girlfriends. She's my girlfriend and I'm her girlfriend." Maura put her hand on Jane's forearm to stop her rant." Both of them waited for Angela's reaction.
"Seriously?" Angela almost yelled. Maura and Jane looked at each other. Jane was nervous to tell her mom, but she had still expected her to be supportive. Angela's reaction surprised her.
"Ma?" Jane questioned. "I…you're upset?"
"Yes, I'm upset, Janie. How can you tell me this over the phone?" Angela asked. "Now, I can't give my two girls a big hug in person."
"Wait, what?" Jane asked.
"Wait, you thought I was upset about you and Maura being a couple?" Angela asked.
"Well, yeah. That's how you sounded," Jane said.
"Oh, no. Janie, I'm so sorry. I'm so happy for the both of you. Honestly, it's about time you got your head out of your asses. I've been waiting for this for years." This caused Maura to laugh in relief. "I'm sorry, girls. I never thought you would think I didn't approve. You know me; I want to be able to hug my babies."
"Yeah, I know, Ma, but wouldn't you rather we told you right away than wait until we see you next?" Jane asked.
"Wait, does this mean you're moving back to Boston?" Angela asked suddenly.
"Yes, I'm moving back to Boston," Jane said.
"How soon? Where are you going to live? Are you going back to BPD? What about your job at the FBI?"
"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Ma. I don't have everything figured out yet, but I'm moving back in two weeks. My contract with the FBI ends at the end of the month," Jane said.
Maura interrupted, "You should move in with me."
Jane turned quickly to look at Maura, "What?"
"Move in with me. It doesn't make sense to get your own apartment. We just end up spending all of our time together anyway. Besides, I always hated it when you had to leave every night before. This way you wouldn't have to," Maura continued.
"Um, okay. Let's talk about that when my mom's not eavesdropping," Jane said.
"Right, sorry," Maura gave a shy smile realizing this wasn't the appropriate time for this conversation.
Turning back to her mother, Jane said, "Maura's going to stay here for the next two weeks though, as long as Kent is okay running the ME's office. Would you be willing to take care of the house?"
"Of course. What do you need me to do?"
"I'll email you instructions, but basically the same as you always do when I travel. The one thing I am hoping you can help with though is on Sunday. I would like to have someone change the locks, preferably in the early afternoon before Sunday dinner. However, someone would need to be there to get the keys. Ian will be gone by then."
"Of course. I can do that. Just let me know the details when you get it set up."
"Okay, thank you. I will. Oh, and Angela, please still have Sunday dinners there while I'm gone and use the main house for anything else you would like during the next two weeks."
"Thank you, sweetie," Angela said, smiling at both her girls.
"We're gonna go, Ma. We are going to call Constance, but I'd really like to be able to tell Frankie and Tommy. I'll call them in the morning. Can you wait that long to gossip?"
Angela rolled her eyes, "I don't gossip."
"Oh, you absolutely do gossip," Jane said, laughing.
"Fine. Yes, I will wait until you text me that you have talked to your brothers," Angela conceded.
"Thanks, Ma."
"Yes, thank you, Angela. For everything," Maura added.
"Goodnight, girls. Have a good evening. I'm so happy!"
"Night, Ma."
"Goodnight, Angela," Maura said as Jane hung up.
"That went well, I thought," Maura said, turning to Jane.
"Yeah, she scared me for a minute there, but overall, it went well. I hadn't expected her to have a problem with this or anything. She just caught me off guard."
"I understand. I was honestly a bit worried. I know she's Catholic, so I wasn't sure if she would be okay with you being with a woman. She's understanding and open to other people in homosexual relationships, but it can be different with one's own children."
"Yeah. I suppose, and we will likely face some…I don't know what to call it…some backlash from some of the extended family, but I wasn't worried about Ma. I was pretty sure she suspected something for a long time. Besides, you're a doctor and she already loves you."
"Do you think your brothers will have a problem?" Maura asked.
"Oh, absolutely not. They'll be thrilled. They both already know how I feel about you. They've been pushing me to talk to you for a while now, especially Frankie. In fact, he called me an idiot for leaving you in France. Gave me quite the lecture."
"You weren't really called back by the FBI, were you?" Maura asked quietly.
Jane looked down at her hands, "No. I'm sorry. I was a jerk."
"No, Jane. I was the one who was rude. I shouldn't have left you to spend time with Ian during our trip, especially during our last week. Honestly, I was just trying to avoid my feelings," Maura admitted.
"I still shouldn't have lied to you like that or left you."
"No, but I've moved past it. I never really believed your story. I mean what would the FBI actually need an instructor to start early at the last minute for?"
This made Jane laugh, "Yeah, maybe I should have come up with a better story."
"You should have talked to me," Maura said, laughing too. "But like I said, I've moved on. We both made mistakes – big ones. I've forgiven you and I hope you can forgive me. Don't get me wrong, I know we still have a lot to work through, but I think we can do it."
Jane smiled, "I know we can do it."
Maura returned her smile, "Let's call my mother then go to bed so that we can start tomorrow fresh."
"Okay," Jane said.
Maura paused for a moment.
"What is it?" Jane asked.
"Do you think it would be okay if I started this conversation alone? Then you can join? You don't have to leave the room. You can listen, but maybe just be off screen? I'm not sure how my mother is going to react. Not that she will have a problem with us. I'm more worried about her reaction to cancelling the wedding."
"Sure, anything you want," Jane said standing up and going to the other side of the counter.
Maura found her phone and dialed her mother's number. Constance answered the FaceTime call with a smile, "Hello, darling. I wasn't expecting to hear from you tonight."
"Hello, Mother. How are you?"
"I'm well, thank you."
"Um, do you have a few minutes. I need to talk to you about something?" Maura asked timidly.
"Yes, I have a few minutes. What do you need to talk to me about?" Constance answered.
"Well, I've called off my engagement with Ian. We're cancelling the wedding," Maura paused to let this sink in.
"Are you sure, Maura?" Constance asked.
"Yes," Maura started.
"It's just that I know how important having a family is to you. Are you sure you want to give that up? No marriage is perfect and if you're waiting on Jane, I don't think…"
"What?" Jane and Maura both said in unison making Constance pause.
"You're not alone?" Constance asked.
"No," Maura admitted quietly.
"Jane, please join the conversation," Constance called out. Once Jane had appeared in the screen, Constance gave them both a look before continuing. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Maura, all I want is for you to be happy."
"Constance, we are together now. It just happened today, but that is part of what we wanted to tell you. Maura had just wanted to start by telling you about the engagement ending on her own," Jane said.
Constance was speechless and Maura wasn't saying anything, so Jane continued, "What did you mean by 'if she's waiting for Jane'?
"Oh, well," Constance started, clearly embarrassed at having said what she did. "It's just that I've always wondered about the two of you. When I first met you, Jane, I actually thought you were dating, but that Maura didn't want to tell me. I wasn't sure why since she's always known we have no problem with her sexuality, but then the next time I was in town and you were dating someone else, I realized I had been wrong. Honestly, I thought when I called you a few months ago, you would do something, but since you didn't I gave up hope that you two would ever figure it out."
"You called Jane?" Maura asked.
"Yes. I was concerned, but Jane was so insistent that you were happy with Ian and that you loved him that I decided I must have been wrong about how she felt about you."
"You weren't wrong. I've loved Maura for a long time. I didn't think she could ever feel the same way, though," Jane admitted.
Jane and Maura could hear someone calling Constance from another room. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. Can we talk more this weekend?" Constance asked.
"Of course, Mother. Please enjoy your evening."
"You as well. And Maura, I'm really happy for you," Constance added.
"Thank you. Goodnight, Mother."
"Goodnight, Maura, Jane."
"Night," Jane chimed in as Constance ended the call.
"Um, that was a bit unexpected," Jane said with a nervous laugh.
"Yeah, it was. I didn't think she paid enough attention to know how I felt about you. Honestly, even though it was awkward, I kind of liked that moment."
Jane laughed, "I mean yeah it was awkward, but your mom loves you. She just isn't the best at showing it."
Maura smiled at Jane, "I know, but let's go to bed. I'm exhausted and I'm excited for the rest of the weekend and the next two weeks."
Jane stood up, "I'll grab a pillow and some blankets. Do you want to sleep on the couch or in the bed tonight? I figured we could rotate."
Maura stopped in her tracks, which caused Jane to burst out laughing. "I'm totally kidding. I was just messing with you. Come on. Of course, we're both sleeping in the bed. I mean, we already have our own sides."
"Maura laughed, "You're mean, Jane Rizzoli."
"But you love me," Jane smirked.
"Yes, I do," came Maura's reply. Maura looked around Jane's room when they walked in. She smiled when she saw the pictures Jane had. All of them were of Jane with her family and/or Maura. They crawled into bed together. Maura rolled towards Jane and whispered, "You know, I was serious about you moving in with me."
Jane turned to look at Maura. She honestly loved the idea, but she was worried it would be too much for Maura to immediately go from living with Ian to living with her, "Let's talk about it tomorrow. We've already made a lot of big decisions today. I'm not saying no. I'm just saying I don't want to rush into such a big decision."
Maura smiled. That was fair enough. "Okay, I agree," she responded. Jane rolled to turn off the lights as Maura asked another question, "Are you a cuddler?"
Jane smiled. "With you I am. I love you, Maur, goodnight," Jane said as she pulled Maura close.
"I love you, too, Jane. I'm glad we finally talked and got everything out in the open," Maura said.
"Maybe we should have talked sooner," Jane whispered to Maura as she was falling asleep.
A/N: They're together! My current plan is for this story to go through their wedding with the potential for sequels. Also, I know people are going to comment on Jane's lack of reaction to Ian's manipulation. Trust me when I say she's just trying to process everything; she is angry, and it will come out. Finally, I'm not planning on further addressing why Jane would leave her job without a new job/plan in this fic. If I write sequels, it would be part of one of those, so I needed to set it up here, just in case. If it really bothers you, PM me, and I'll tell you.