Chapter Nine

God gave me you to show me what's real

There's more to life with just how I feel

And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes

And all that I live for though I didn't know why

Now I do, 'cause God gave me you

- God Gave Me You, Bryan White

Rose lay in bed, her mother sitting on the edge. She'd been fussed over, checked over and provided with plenty of chocolate, but something was still missing and nothing would feel right until it was back.

"I want Dad to come and see me," she said softly. "I need to know… I need to know what he's thinking."

Hermione smiled sympathetically, running her fingers through her daughter's freshly brushed red hair. She'd had a shower and washed herself clean and now looked only like an exhausted young woman. "You know what I think he's thinking?" she said. "That he is so glad you're okay and safely back home."

"He's upset with me. I know he is. You heard him. He hates me." A tear rolled down Rose's cheek. "He almost died because of me. I didn't mean what I said. I really didn't. I always wish he's my dad."

"I know," Hermione said, running her hand over her daughter's forehead. "He didn't mean it either."

Rose sat up suddenly.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked, eyeing her daughter with concern. "Do you need —"

Rose nodded, leaning across to the bedside table where a book sat. She opened it up to the back page, allowing something to fall into her lap.

"Everyone else thought it was embarrassing," Rose said, showing Hermione the Chocolate Frog card. "I thought it was cool."

"They did wonder where it went," Hermione said, smiling. "He'll be thrilled to know you kept it."

"He hates me now. He won't care."

"He loves you so, so much, Rose. More than anything else in this whole world."

"Then why isn't he talking to me? Why is he still ignoring me? He blames me because he almost died." Rose choked out the last words, wiping away fresh tears.

Hermione's heart almost broke. She could tell Rose over and over and over again how much Ron loved her, but she wouldn't believe it until he told her himself.

She rested a hand on Rose's arms. "No, sweetheart. He doesn't blame you. Not for a second. And he's not upset with you, he's upset because he almost lost you tonight. From what I hear, we came very close losing you both."

"All because of me," Rose cried. "I was horrible to him. I was awful. If I hadn't said that —" Something resembling realisation flashed across her face. "I was the worst daughter ever and he… he..."

"And he still came after you," Hermione finished, smiling despite herself.

Rose was silent.

"Sweetheart —"

"Why did he want to give himself up to them?"

"Why did you stay with him when he told you to go?"

"He's my dad!"

"And you're his daughter… no matter what."

For a moment, Rose said nothing. She stared at Hermione, the evening's events sinking in. The hurtful words that had been exchanged, the fight they had battled, the sacrifice Ron had been willing to make despite it all. "I really have been so awful, haven't I?"

Hermione nodded. "You have."

"I just… I thought —"

"You didn't think, Rose. You assumed. And that can be very dangerous."

"I just wanted him to be okay with me and… Scorpius."

"You never asked him if he was, and that was your mistake, Rose. A very costly one."

Rose looked down at her hands, turning the card over. She kept pausing on the picture of Ron.

"I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I… I know it might take some time, but can you forgive me?"

"Of course," Hermione said.

"And Dad?"

"He'll forgive you," Hermione assured her. "He already has, I'm sure. You know your dad. He can't stay angry at you for too long."

Rose shook her head. "I really hurt him this time, though."

"He'll still forgive you. You and Hugo are the only two people in this world who could manage it, but he will."

Rose didn't say anything. She continued to flip the card over and over in her hands, watching her father's photo.

After a moment, Hermione said, "It took me years to work it out, but I did eventually. The two of you are so similar. You are both impulsive, short-tempered and easily irritated. But you can also both love so fiercely that you have very little control over your emotions when it gets intense. I've seen it in your dad for years, but I saw it in you, too, this summer.

"The two of you have this beautiful, amazing bond that until now had been rather rock-solid."

"I messed that up," Rose mumbled. "I broke it."

"You didn't break it," Hermione said, shaking her head. "Just damaged it. You'll be able to fix it. Both of you will."

There was more silence. More flipping of the card.

"I wasn't going to leave him alone to die out there," Rose said.

"I know."

"I thought, if we are going to die tonight, at least he'd have me there with him."

"He would not have wanted that at all, Sweetheart."

Fresh tears filled Rose's eyes. She looked at Hermione. "Why?"

"No pain is worse than losing you. We will always stand in between you and danger, over and over and over again. Just like you stayed with him after he asked you not to. The power of love, Rose. That's what that means."

Rose swallowed a lump in her throat, looking up at Hermione again. "Why won't he talk to me?"

"Because he's tired. He can't say what he wants to right now. He's also angry, but not in the way you think. He blames himself for what happened as much as you blame yourself. The moment Harry told us there were Dementors around, he was out of the house before either of us could tell him otherwise. That was only moments after you had left."

Rose looked away. "I didn't know that."

"He's always been very protective," Hermione continued. "He's like that with me, too. Harry's the same. That's why he's angry, Rose. Not because you stayed with him, but because you thought his life was worth more than your own."

"He's much more important than I am," Rose said. She waved the card at Hermione. "I'm never going to get on a Chocolate Frog card. I'm never going to save the world. I'm proud of you guys. Dad and you. But I'm never going to be that great. I can't even cast a stupid Patronus."

Despite herself, Hermione smiled. "You have no need to, Sweetheart. Well, you shouldn't have. Dementors were supposed to have been destroyed after the war. It's advanced magic, and we only learnt it at your age because we had to. Not for the fun of it."

"It's useful for other things too, though," Rose said.

"And you'll learn it in time," Hermione promised. "But it's not something you need to worry about now."

Rose swallowed. "If I had, that Muggle —"

"Sweetheart, that's not your fault. I know it's hard to see, but those Dementors took four fully trained Aurors to contain tonight. No one would have expected you to have handled that on your own. No one blames you."

"Dad did it on his own for a bit."

Hermione kissed Rose's forehead. "You need to sleep. I know you want to see your dad, but I don't think tonight is the best time. You've both been through a lot and you're both exhausted. The morning will be much better for both of you."

Rose opened her mouth to argue, but when nothing came out, she nodded. "I love you, Mum. And I really am sorry for everything. I know I said some awful things to you, too."

Hermione smiled. "I love you too, Sweetheart. And that's okay. I'm just glad to have the true Rose back. I didn't like the other one all that much." She kissed Rose's forehead again. "Sleep well, I'll see you in the morning."

Hermione left her daughter's bedroom and entered her own next door. What she found was not much better than what she'd left. One wrecked person to another.

Ron sat on the edge of the bed, half undressed, with his face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook, telling her he was crying.

She sat down beside him, placing a hand on his back.

"She's okay."

Ron said nothing for a long time, not looking at her, not moving. He simply sat there, shoulders shaking every so often. Eventually, he looked at her, shaking his head.

"It's my fault," he said.

"No it's not."

"I said it to her, when I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have let her words get to me like they did. She's a kid, a teenager — it's expected for her to say it at least once in her life. But me, her father… I'm supposed to… not say it back."

"She hurt you, Ron, and she said it with the intention to hurt you," Hermione argued. "She knew what she was doing."

"I'm the adult here. I should have sucked it up. I should have sent her to her room. I shouldn't have let her leave."

"It was me who let her leave," Hermione reminded him.

"I just… I just said it. I don't know why. And it almost cost us everything. She was so close, Hermione. Closer than I want to tell you. If I had been just a second later they would have… they would have had her." His voice cracked. He looked at her, seeing the question in her eyes, that she already knew the answer to anyway.

"I would have done it," he said. "If they wanted someone, it was going to be me."

Hermione smiled, resting her head on his bare shoulder. "Well, I'm glad it didn't come to that."

"Yeah, due to sheer luck. It's what saved us. Me finding her at the last minute, Harry and Dean and the others finding both of us a moment later… all luck."

"That's not true, and you know it," Hermione said. "Don't sell yourself short. She is so damn lucky to have a dad who loves her like you do and who is also an exceptionally skilled wizard, particularly when casting a Patronus charm."

The next moment, he was kissing her with so much desperation, it caught her off guard. She pulled away, looking at him with a mix of surprise and affection. "Ron…"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just feel… nothing. I want to feel something. You make me so happy, and I —" His body shook again.

"It's the Dementors," Hermione said. She kissed him back, gently. "It's the Dementors. You need to sleep, Ron. Get some rest."

Ron wrapped both arms around her, pulling her towards him. He wanted comfort, love, and she couldn't refuse him in this state. He wasn't used to feeling nothing.

"I'm proud of you."

"How's Rose feeling?" he asked.

"Confused. Desperate to see you, but I said the same thing to her as I'll say to you. Leave it until tomorrow, when you both have a clearer head."

Ron nodded, pulling her even closer to him. "I was ready to go," he said, "but I'm glad I'm alive."

"So am I," Hermione said, her voice soft. She nestled into him. "So am I."

I'm sorry, I know most of you were hoping for Ron and Rose to talk, but next chapter, I promise! I really wanted to explore Rose and Hermione's relationship here as I hadn't really touched on that. I hope you liked it :)

Also, next Saturday (November 28) I'll be republishing my fic When I Have You. If you'd like some extra content for that, please follow my instagram account for it called ' '. I'll be posting self-drawn fanart (really badly done, so if anyone wants to volunteer they can :P), sneak peeks of future chapters and other things, and answering questions, so yeah... if you want :)