10

UNIT were already on the scene and jack huffed as he watched them bag and tag the rest of the crispies. Jack checked for latent Rift activity and found none so was not sure if he really cared. Less paperwork?

"Ah, Captain Harkness!" a voice said and Jack grumbled under his breath as he turned to watch the smarmy prick in the red hat… I mean…

"Lieutenant. Lovely to see you." Jack gave his beat shit eating grin that he knew pissed this man off no end.

"This is our spot!" the man said with that air of a lot of toffy nosed smarmy pricks… I mean men in red hats usually have.

"Do you see me pissing on anything?" Jack asked, still grinning wide and sweetly.

The lieutenant's smile faded as he looked the man up and down and was about to say something unflattering when he became aware of another standing with them. He slowly turned his head to see the handsome young man in the three piece suit compete with pocket watch on an antique chain, his eyes boring into him.

"This is my man Ianto." Jack said gleefully "remember him? You ran that cat over that time then fell and broke your leg. Thought something tripped you. Remember? Ianto is the one who told you the rain was going to get really heavy. It did. Sorry we couldn't spare an umbrella. MY hair ya know…. No hat."

The man glared at Jack with open malice as Ianto let his eyes pan down then he asked in that soft Welsh lit "So, do you walk with a limp now?"

"Oh he always limped Yani. Compensating for a small dick makes a man limp to pretend weight" Jack said conversationally. "At least…that's s what I heard. I don't need to limp, same of you."

"Look here you…"

The man had reached out for jack's Coat lapel and met Ianto's hand that closed so gently over this man's that he was unaware of the capture until the pain. White blinding pain.

"Clarkson! Are you messing with Torchwood again?" a voice boomed and Jack turned like nothing was happening here, waving as the brigadier slid from the jeep he had just arrived in.

"Hello Briggy Bartman. I was just thinking of you." Jack purred. "talking about men who don't need to limp."

The Brig looked past Jack to his man who stood with a red face, immobilized by the vice grip of the unassuming young man that had hold of him. Jack turned and looked "Oh that. He was gonna poke me. I don't like being poked… well.. not without foreplay. Ianto is very protective. Like a mama bird. Of velociraptor or something. Big teeth, claws and stuff. Your man really needs to learn to keep his hands to himself or Ianto might chop it off. You know… once upon a time they did that. Not just for thieves… but for someone who touched another's property in general. Or bond-mate. You touch someone's piece of arse and …CHOP… Ianto carries a big knife too. I have a nice arse ya know. Ianto likes it. MY arse… and his big knife. Like a machete!"

"Does he now" The brig asked, amused.

"Everything about him is big" Jack winked and then giggled like a school girl, slapping at the Brig, "Anyway. You can have this one, I was only here to check it out. These are of no interest. Rather crispy, but not from our neck of the woods. I dare say though… whatever drained him of his life-force might be alien in origin. They do leave that smell in the air … Suchutha."

"Yes. It was two actually, seems to have been a mating pair" Ianto said calmly.

"How do you know that" The Brig asked then snorted "Please release my idiot."

Ianto unfurled his fingers and the man fell to his knees, panting as he cradled his hand to his chest like a wounded bird. The Brig shook his head "Go see the medic. And learn your place. You know… he really might chop it off next time. I've seen this man's rare show of temper and believe me… he does not just go off.. he goes supernova! The last man to challenge him did not fare well. And it ws a mild punishment there. Something about running over a cat, got a broken leg for it!"

Jack coughed softly with amusement as the man now looked up at Ianto with horror as Ianto winked seductively, then slunk off. The man looked after him and Jack stepped in the way "Careful there that man. I don't share either."

"For fucksake, piss of to the bloody medics like I told you" The Brig muttered and the hapless man finally staggered to his feet wandering off to find some painkillers.

Ianto meanwhile looked around as the Brig turned back to Jack "OK. What makes them a mating pair?"

"See that over there? On the bush? That white stuff? Jizz. One of them was so excited it came." Jack pointed "Means one of them is in heart and they are both to a level where they will mate soon. Taking energy from their victims for the big date."

"Ewww" the Brig screwed his nose up.

"I know. Exactly. I've seen them mate and believe me… even I was a little put off" Jack sighed wistfully, looking up at the sky "And that tells ya something."

Ianto was back, standing close by and Jack turned to him "Well?"

"They are in the sewers. The Weevil are tracing them so … we can stay and play… or we can go play in the tunnels down below." Ianto said with that solemn dry tone of his.

"Oooo, going down" Jack gushed as he skipped off leaving the Brig to look at Ianto again and frown.

Do I know you? Perhaps your father? You look awfully a lot like a man I once knew…"

"World War II was a heady time and you were lucky to survive the crash. OF course I resemble the man who helped you from the wreckage as it was a relative. But seriously man.. had it been me … what a lark. I do believe our mad man over there is the only immortal, although the Doctor might come close."

The Brig laughed and clapped Ianto on the shoulder before wandering off leaving Ianto to apparate at the SUV as Jack reached for the door handle. Ianto slid into the seat and looked over at the old man who stood talking to some other Red Hats. WWII, he was a young man back then. He had three little children, a lovely wife who had just lost her father and two brothers to the war… he had done what he could. Besides… she had prayed to the right god I suppose.

Ianto was kind when he wanted to be.