A/N: Before we start, this is based off the rom-com, Life As We Know It. If you haven't seen it, great! If you have, some things are similar, some things are the same and some things I left out and created on my own. I hope you enjoy this ride, I wanted to write something fun and I hope this puts a smile on your face during these times. It was supposed to be really short, but I can't help writing in depth. The pictures were created by parrillauge (on Twitter) and the cover was created by kaifromthesea. Thank you to both lovely ladies for creating such a beautiful picture! Now, enjoy!
She glides the mulberry lipstick across her bottom lip once more before she pops her full lips and smirks to herself in the full length mirror.
"I still don't understand why you insist on this blind date," Regina scoffs, her fingers prodding her inky tresses to fluff her short hair to add some extra bounce.
"What's there to understand," Kathryn giggles into the phone and Regina rolls her eyes hearing the playful tickle fight through the line. "You're a lesbian and she's into women as well," she says through a hearty chuckle before she whispers, "August, stop!"
"You do comprehend how ignorant you are being right now, don't you?" Regina snips, but she knows her best friend is just teasing her.
"Oh, is that not how this works?"
"No, you can't just force two lesbians into a room and expect them to fall deeply in love because they are both into women," she demands, her heels clicking against her immaculate hardwood floors as she retrieves her purse. "Do you fall in love with every man-never mind," she immediately cuts herself off, because her friend is a lovesick fool who will bend over for any man who flashes her a smile.
The evidence is giggling through the line as they speak. Kathryn has only known August for five minutes and she's already planning out her bridesmaids.
"I never said she was a lesbian."
"Kathryn!"
"I'm just teasing, she's bi."
"Wonderful, exactly what I need in my life, another person who isn't exactly sure what the hell they want."
"Please just give her a chance, she is August's sister from one of their foster homes. They are the best of friends. She is literally the nicest person, ever. She doesn't possess one mean bone in her body," her friend pleads, but she distinctly hears August scoff and then him groaning in agony, probably from a sharp elbow to his ribs. Then Kathryn whispers to her new fling, "ssshhhh, she grew out of that stage."
"Kathryn, what stage?" She firmly interrogates.
"No, nothing. Okay, maybe when she was a teen she and August were little troublemakers, but that's all in the past. Anyways, you should go, she should be there any minute."
"Alright, fine. I will speak to you soon," and with that Regina ends the call because she very clearly heard some kind of sucking noise in the background that she doesn't want burned into her mind any longer.
And then Regina waits. She paces her foyer, antsy, because she hasn't been on a date in too many months to count because her career is too demanding. Opening her own bakery was always the plan, ever since she was a tiny little thing, standing on a chair to reach the kitchen counter to help her mother. Her dream finally came true, she did it, but the shop leaves her very little time to go out into the world and meet a potential love interest.
Regina glances at the clock on the wall, noting that her blind date is now twenty minutes late, officially ticking her off. Punctuality is a quirk of hers, and if this woman knew she was going to be late, then she should have called or texted by now. She groans, stomping over to her living room and settling down on the edge of the couch, careful not to wrinkle her little black dress.
After another ten minutes, she picks up her book and begins reading, but the words are never truly soaking into her mind, because she's livid. What kind of person is a half an hour late to a first date and doesn't have the decency to call? She should just say, screw it, and slam the door in this woman's face when she arrives, but because Kathryn is her very best friend, her only friend, she decides she will suck it up for one date, just to appease her.
When her doorbell finally announces that her blind date has arrived, she is in a sour mood. She tosses her book onto the end table and marches with every ounce of fury ejecting from her heels. Just before she reaches for the doorknob, she fluffs her hair, but then she berates herself for giving a damn what this woman thinks of her. Screw her.
She swings open the door, discovering a wild mess of golden curls that would be absolutely enticing to run her fingers through and yank on if she wasn't so livid in the moment.
"Hi," the woman sheepishly greets her, shrugging her shoulders and offering the most lopsided grin she has ever seen.
"Emma?"
"Regina?"
Regina's dark eyes roam over the specimen her so-called best friend sent to her; taking in the black ankle boots to the black skinny jeans that are torn at the knee to the flowing green, sleeveless, button-up blouse that somehow makes this woman's eyes pop, even in the dead of night. However, what really snags Regina's attention, are these perfectly sculpted arms that aren't too bulky, but dear god what she-
No, she's livid.
"You're an hour late," she growls.
"And you waited up, how sweet."
Regina's face falls.
"If you weren't interested, the least you could have done was call-"
"That's not-no, the game went into overtime and then my bike choked on me and I tried to mess with it, but that didn't work out," she grumbles, gesturing toward her knee before she shoves her hands into the tiny front pockets of her painted on jeans. "Then I had to walk my bike home and pick up my car-it's just been a shit night, so if you are gonna sit here and give me-"
"No, Kathryn and August were very adamant about us finally meeting," she forces herself to say, stepping out onto her porch and closing the door behind her, ready to get this facade over with.
"Great," Emma says under her breath, clicking her tongue while Regina locks her door and jiggles the handle, twice, for good measure.
They slowly saunter down the brick walkway, and Kathryn can bet her sweet ass she's going to receive quite a few slaps for this cruel joke. Regina already can't stand this cocky, arrogant, carefree woman, trudging so annoyingly beside her.
"Uhhh, August tells me you are Kathryn's best friend?" Emma awkwardly attempts conversation.
"Yes, we met in middle school and have been inseparable since," she politely answers.
"She's really cool. Best girl August has ever introduced me to. He has a thing for snobs, but not Kathryn, she's hilarious and so laid back."
"I-yes," Regina trips over her words because yes, Kathryn is very funny and she always has the best time with her, but most people aren't allowed to see that side of her. Kathryn usually is a snob and very closed off.
"So...here's my car," Emma awkwardly announces, gesturing toward a hunk of metal that slaps a disgusted scowl upon Regina's face within two seconds of comprehending the hideous yellow paint job.
"Your car...or your great grandmother's, dear?" Regina sarcastically quips.
Emma rolls her eyes as she yanks on the handle, creating a cringeworthy creaking noise that has Regina flinching. "Don't know, considering I don't have a family, which I'm sure you know since you know August," she scoffs, recklessly falling into the worn leather seat.
And Regina feels guilty and thinks she should apologize because that crack about her family was rude and insensitive, but that only lasts for about a half of a second before the car huffs and puffs it's protest to start.
"I am not getting in that thing."
"What?"
"We are not taking your car," she firmly declares. "I am not spending the evening stranded in the middle of nowhere because this thing decides to move on to a better life in a junkyard."
Emma's nose scrunches as her head snaps back from the harsh tone and cruel words against her pride and joy.
"This car is as loyal as a lap dog and as strong-willed as Michael Jordan in the fourth quarter," Emma argues, standing back up to her full height while Regina's face morphs into perplexity because she has no idea what she is rambling on about.
"I will drive," she curtly commands, pivoting on her heels and marching over to her sleek, black, Mercedes Benz.
Emma groans, slamming her squeaky door shut and pounding her feet behind Regina like a small toddler. Regina unlocks her car and slips inside and waits as Emma clambers inside as well, but those legs are far too long and the seat is pushed up as far as possible (because Regina hasn't a clue as to when someone else sat in her car). She watches in amusement as Emma mumbles under her breath and fights with the lever on the side of her seat to shove the seat back, so her knees aren't smushed up against the dashboard.
"Comfy?" Regina sardonically quips.
"Like a thorn in my foot."
"Wonderful." Emma squints and it's supposed to be a fake smile, but it's really just another scowl. Regina presses her foot on the break, her finger poking out to start the engine, but then she pauses. "If you want to call this whole thing off..."
"Nope, I'm good," Emma vacantly claims, slapping her hands on her thighs and furiously rubbing the denim.
"Alright," Regina skeptically drawls just as Emma's phone rings.
Neither one moves. Regina just stares at the blonde, waiting for her to make her move while Emma blankly peers out of the windshield. The person trying to reach Emma is obviously escorted to voicemail by how many rings sing through the deafening silence of the car, but it isn't long before it's ringing again.
"You can take that," Regina offers, eyeing the woman carefully.
"Nah," Emma shrugs, her hands methodically running up and down her thighs until the ringing stops.
...But then it starts again...
"Just answer it!" Regina snaps, provoking Emma to jump in her seat and scramble for her phone in her back pocket.
"Yeah?" She answers, still thrown off by Regina's booming voice. "Oh...hey...you..." Regina scrutinizes the obnoxious woman in her seat, knowing that she's obviously uncomfortable about the person on the other line. "Uh, I can't right now, yeah...I know. Ummm..." she trails off, her green eyes sliding toward Regina for a moment, really assessing her posture and body language. "How about eleven?" Regina flinches, is this woman really making plans for tonight? After their date? "Yup, see you then."
Emma isn't even granted the chance to end the call before Regina explodes on her.
"Did you just make plans for after our date?" She seethes, whirling in her seat to send daggers at the woman with her intense gaze.
"We are just going out for dinner," she weakly defends.
"Well, you can ring your booty-call back and inform her that your schedule has just opened up!" Regina bellows, kicking her door open and stomping out of her car.
"Why are you mad?" Emma incredulously inquires, scrambling out of the car to chase after the brunette because August will murder her for screwing this up. All that guy does is go on and on about Kathryn and her gorgeous friend, Regina, and how he needs Regina satisfied to keep Kathryn happy.
"If I need to justify why I am walking away before our date even begins, then you are as dense as an over beaten cake mix," Regina fires off, storming up her walkway with Emma rushing behind her.
"What?" The blonde quizzically asks, so clueless as to what this woman is talking about.
What the hell does cake have to do with this?
"My point exactly. Now, leave. I don't have time to waste on some player who jumps from bed to bed."
"Excuse me? You don't know me," Emma hastily defends herself, reaching for Regina, but she senses the blonde and jerks her elbow away before contact.
"Oh, trust me, I know your type," Regina whips back around and the scowl on her face, insists for Emma's feet to shuffle backwards a few steps. "You drive a motorcycle, very clearly stating you are reckless and have a sick obsession with adventures and cheap thrills. You had a wild and crazy past where rules didn't apply to you and of course, you still feel that way. Jumping in and out of different beds every night, man or woman, doesn't really matter, because the only thing that concerns you is you," Regina coldly states while Emma burns through every shade of red. "Enjoy your evening with whomever you choose to screw over tonight, hopefully this will be the last time we ever have to see one another again. Goodbye, Miss Swan."
And with that, Regina slams the door in Emma's face and clicks on Kathryn's contact as she slips out of her heels.
"Why are you calling me?"
"You better promise me right now, that I never have to see that woman ever again."