Chapter 9

"Well, this was surprising!", Elliot said.

"We finally have the holiday we planned." Sarah said happily.

El looked at her surprised.

"Come on dad. You and Liv have to be fucking happy that she is gone. She isn't bearable near Liv and now you two don't have to hide anymore!"

Elliot's face was priceless. He couldn't get it all together. What was his daughter talking about?

"Dad, I know about you and Liv."

El looked at Liv confused.

"I didn't say anything. She figured it out herself." she said smiling. "You have a way too clever daughter."

"Come on guys. It's not like you hid it that well. In front of mom, yes. But yesterday you two looked at each other like love birds. Especially you, dad. Everytime you look at her your eyes turn into hearts. If you weren't my dad I would think it is cute."

Elliot looked at her shocked. Liv started to laugh.

"Well, it seems like you can't hide your feelings very well. Like we didn't know that already." Now he looked at Liv with a funny expression. Something between overextension and amusement.

"I don't know what to say. I.. well what do you think about it?" he asked Sarah.

"Are you kidding me? I am happy for you. Both of you." she said and looked at Olivia. Olivia smiled at her. The situation was weird and wonderful at the same time.

Suddenly Liv realized that Lola was sitting at the table too. She looked over at her and saw that she was asleep.

"El, I think someone needs a lift to her bed." He looked at her confused. She just laughed and pointed at Lola. He started to smile at the sight of his sleeping daughter.

After they finished eating, Elliot walked over to his little girl to pick her up. He carried her to her room and Liv and Sarah followed. "Well, I am not tired at all!" Sarah said. "Can I come with you?"

El looked at Liv with a look that said "Help me!". She smiled and said, "Well, we can't let you two sleep here alone. So, we will have to sleep in the room next door, Kathy's and Kurt's room. And I don't mind you coming with us for a while."

Sarah beamed with joy.

"Cool. What are we going to do?" Liv laughed.

"You don't waste any time. Do you?"

El smiled too and said, "We have to get our stuff from our room first and you can think of something and please look after Lola until we are back."

They entered the hotel room from Kathy and Kurt.

"Okay." Sarah said and turned around to walk through the connecting door to their room.

"Wow! So much happened in the last hour, I can't wrap my head around it." El said when they were outside the kids hotel room.

"I am sorry about what Kathy said earlier. I don't know why she can't just leave without saying something like this. I'm.."

Liv interrupted him, "Stop apologizing for her. I already told you like a hundred times that I can handle it."

She pushed him against the wall and kissed him passionately but shortly.

"See, I am more than okay." she said leering while walking away.

This woman makes me go crazy in the most positive way, he thought to himself.

He took a deep breath before he was able to follow her. He grabbed her by the waist and tried to kiss her again but Liv knew what he was up too and turned away laughing.

"We have a job to do! Your kid is waiting." He looked at her disbelieving.

"You can't do things like that!"

She continued walking, ignoring him.

"Liv! I mean it!" he said with frustration and a bit of amusement in his voice.

"Get over it! I will repay you later." she said, while giving him a provocative look over her shoulder.

"Damn it, Liv! I have to go to my kids now. And we will sleep in the room next to them tonight. You can't really repay me for your torture!", he said.

She walked over to him, hugged him and whispered in his ear, "I am not really sorry, but I get your point."

Before she let go of him she nibbled on his earlobe.

"I hate you! I really hate you!" he grunted. Liv laughed.

In their room Liv started to pack her things. She could feel his gaze on her and turned around.

"What is it now?" she said while shaking her head slightly in amusement.

He looked at her surprised. "I didn't say anything!"

"But I can feel you staring." she said laughing.

"Oh, sorry. It's just…I have just realized something. Well.. There has never been anyone in my life who could.. I don't know. I've never felt like this. I've never acted like this. You make me go crazy but I couldn't enjoy it more. I don't know how to describe it. It's just overwhelming."

Liv just looked at him surprised, unable to say anything. His words were overwhelming and she didn't know how to handle them. She didn't know how to put her feelings into words, because she didn't know what she was feeling. She knew she should say something, anything. This moment was like he said "I love you." and she didn't say it back. God, get your shit together Olivia. Talk to him!

He realized what he had just done. He put pressure on her without wanting to.

"Liv, I.. Forget what I just said. It's just, well I wasn't prepared for your question and then I just.. Well forget it. Okay? I really don't want you to feel pressured or anything. You don't need to say anything."

He grabbed his bag and went to the bathroom.

Shit, what the heck is wrong with me? God, can't I just keep my shit together? I am not a teen anymore who can't control his feelings and body. Well, next to her obviously I am. Damn it! Elliot thought to himself.

Liv knocked on the door. "Can I come in?" she asked quietly.

"Sure." he said and smiled at her comfortingly when she entered.

"El, I.."

"Liv, you really don't need to say anything. Really!"

"But I.. well your words…"

"I know. I.. I was just.. I don't know. Please, don't think about it anymore. Let's just grab our stuff and get back to the girls."

He grabbed a few things and left the room.

Liv stood there, alone, not knowing what to do. She had hurt him and he still didn't want her to feel weird. Why does she have such problems with showing real feelings and commitment? It isn't just some man, who she couldn't trust! No, it's Elliot. Her best friend and partner. She knew she could trust him. Hell, she already trusted him more than anyone else.

So why couldn't she be open about her feelings?

She grabbed her stuff and went outside.

They walked back to the girls room without speaking to each other. Everytime she tried to say something he stopped her. And she knew that they didn't really have the time or space to talk about it right now, so she stopped trying to talk to him and they continued to walk in an uncomfortable silence.

"Finally, guys! What took you so long?" Sarah asked.

"Sorry! It was my fault." Liv said.

"Actually, it was mine." El said.

Sarah looked at them quizzically. "Whatever. I thought we could either play cards or watch a movie." she said smiling brightly. "I would prefer a movie, but if you guys wanna play cards, I am in."

She looked at them eagerly. Liv tried to smile, because she didn't want the girl to notice the weird atmosphere between them.

"A movie sounds great." she said as excited as she could muster.

"Cool. I hope action is okay for you?"

"I think I can handle it." Liv said smiling.

"Right, you're a detective. You have a gun and stuff which is really cool. I mean dad has one too but well he is dad and you're just this badass woman who fights crime."

"Thank you, I guess." Liv said grinning uncomfortably. "Let's start the movie."

Gladly Sarah sat down between the two of them which made the situation more bearable for Liv. She couldn't really concentrate on the movie. She was constantly thinking about El's words and her bad, like really bad reaction. The way they acted around each other now was painful. She just wanted to cuddle up against him, to feel him, breathe him in.

She had to talk to him after the movie. She needed to tell him how she felt. No more hiding. She could trust him and she couldn't stand it that she had hurt him. She didn't mean to.

Why was she so complicated? Yes, everything was going kinda fast but also not really, they knew each other for years and there was always this little something between them, but they both pushed it aside because he was married and well, they were partners, nothing more.

"Liv, did you see that? This woman is like you!" Sarah said excitedly.

Liv looked at the screen and saw a young woman in tight- sitting high waist leather shorts, a leather crop top and two huge guns in her hands. She started to laugh. "That's not exactly how I look and I definitely don't wear clothes like this at work or ever." she said still laughing and shaking her head.

"I know that. But you are the real version of her. A woman who fights the bad guys while still looking hot."

"I appreciate it, but I am not like her. I am a working woman like everyone else. Only that I carry a gun, which to be honest is kinda cool." she said with a wink. Sarah laughed.

Liv looked over to El and their eyes met. He started to smile.

"I am with Sarah. You are totally like this woman and I am sure we can arrange a new dress code at work." She looked at him surprised.

"Okay. I think it's time for me to go. Being in bed with my dad and his girlfriend while he is flirting with her, is really weird." Sarah said while getting up. She kissed her dad on the cheek and hugged Olivia, wished them a good night and walked over to the other room.

El got up and walked in the bathroom, Liv followed him. They brushed their teeth both feeling a bit weird and uncomfortable. When they were back in bed, Liv turned over to face him.

"Elliot, I really need to talk to you. And please don't interrupt me. I really wanna tell you some things!"

He became nervous. What did she have to tell him? He hoped she didn't want to take a step back now.

"Liv, please don't overreact. Think about it again!"

"I am not overreacting and I thought about it the whole time. I don't even know what the movie was about." She smiled shyly. "I was so overwhelmed earlier. No one ever said something like this to me before and I didn't expect it at all. And my reaction was, well, I could have punched you in the face and it would have been better because I would have done something. I am really sorry. You know that I run every time something gets too serious. I don't know why but my first thought is always- run! I really don't wanna do that anymore. Especially not with you. I know I can trust you, I mean I already do trust you so I don't even understand myself. You told me what you felt and it was so special and beautiful and I couldn't handle it. I am falling for you and it scares the shit out of me.

I could lose everything. Like for real. If this doesn't work out or I don't know what but you and the job are everything I have. And I could lose both at once now."

He couldn't hold back anymore, he had to say something.

"You won't lose me. No matter what. I will always be your best friend, Liv. Do you hear me? YOU WILL NEVER LOSE ME! I promise you that. And I never thought your reaction was bad. I was mad at myself for putting my undefined feelings on you. I know you and putting pressure on you like this was just dumb. I didn't mean to do it but I did and I am sorry. But it seems like it had a positive effect too. Your words mean the world to me. You don't know how happy you make me."

He moved closer and grabbed her face with both of his hands.

"Liv, this is something special! And I am falling for you like crazy too." He kissed her tenderly and pulled her closer, so she lay next to him. She cuddled up against his chest with a huge smile on her face. They lay there like this until they fell asleep.