"LOKIIIIIIIII!"
"Ehehehe!"
Another normal morning in Stark Tower…
Steve had just brushed his teeth, only to find out that somebody had filled his toothpaste tube with red dye, and now the supersoldier looked like he had severely bleeding gums, and bright pink teeth.
"I'm sure it'll wash off, Steve." Loki giggled maniacally, not sounding repentant at all. "In a few days…"
"Jiminy Crickets…" Steve sighed, giving his mouth a good rinse in hopes that the Trickster had been wrong about how long it would take to return to normal. No such luck. His teeth remained the bright pink hue, and Loki probably would be on the floor laughing, if he had a body. With a frustrated growl, he trudged out of the bathroom, and stepped into the elevator.
"Kitchen floor, please."
So, Loki just had to take him to the basement.
"You're not making me warm up to you, any more, you know that, right?" Steve growled.
"Oh, of course not!" Loki breezily replied. "I wouldn't think you could, anyway. After all, we are the best of friends, right?" The lights flickered a few times as Loki innocently batted his eyelashes.
Steve rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say…"
When the elevator doors opened onto the kitchen, Loki explained that he had made a cup of coffee for Steve, as a peace offering.
"Oh, thanks, Loki!" Steve smiled, and took a sip of the rich brown liquid. For some reason, he could have sworn he heard snickering, before…. His mouth exploded in fire.
"AAAAAAAAARGH!" He screamed, dunking his head in the sink, desperate to get the hot spiciness off his tongue. "What did you even put in there?!" He bubbled, after the worst of it was alleviated.
Loki was laughing so hard, he couldn't answer. Steve grumpily made himself a new cup of coffee, frustrated at his own gullibility. "Way to have a successful morning, Cap." He sighed, picking up the newspaper as he waited for his coffee to finish. Loki eventually composed himself, and made a very smug hologram of himself, lounging casually in the chair next to him. It was something he'd taken to doing, as of recently, instead of inhabiting the Iron Man suits. It slightly baffled the captain how very young the hologram appeared. The Trickster appeared young, well-manicured, and with a hopeful, inquisitive gleam in his eyes. He hadn't quite grown into his teenage gangly limbs, and he was slight, and above all… peaceful. Yes, he cried easily, he had attachment problems, and things like that, but there was none of the inner pain and turmoil Steve had seen on his face during the invasion of New York. Loki was innocent, he'd seen less of the world, and Steve had an inexplicable urge to wrap the Trickster in a big hug, and protect him from everything the universe had thrown at him before.
Tragically, holograms have no substance, but the captain could understand why Thor was so protective of him. He was a delicate little creature, fragile as a spiderweb, and Steve didn't know how anyone could look on his bright, eager face, and not love him, already.
"What are you reading?" The hologram spoke up in interest.
"Just the news." Steve shrugged.
"News?" Loki tilted his immaterial head in confusion. "What's that?"
Steve thought about this for a while.
"I can Google it, if it's too much trouble…" Loki quickly offered, his careless use of the modern term seeming rather out of place.
"No, it's fine." Steve shrugged again. "You just caught me off guard a little. It's a bit odd, seeing someone who predates things that were common place, even in my time." Loki nodded in understanding; Steve had told him of his time in the ice. "News is just what's going on in the world, right now. People write It down, and distribute it as newspapers."
"Where do they find it out from?" Loki asked eagerly. "Are they all eyewitness accounts?"
"No, there's reporters and things that talked to people who experienced the events." Steve explained.
Loki nodded slowly. "I see… then, what's going on in Midgard?"
Steve rolled his eyes. "Just some big hot-shot suing another big hot-shot. I don't even know why I bother…"
"Perhaps because you don't wish to be the last to know, if something big ever did occur?" Loki suggested.
Steve sighed. "Yeah, I guess that's the only reasonable explanation."
At that point, Tony shuffled into the kitchen, hair mussed from pillows, and eyes bleary. He took note of the cup of coffee, innocently resting on the counter, and a maniacal gleam leapt into Loki's holographic eyes, as Tony picked it up, and tiredly took a sip. Only to spew it out over the countertop. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF GARGONZOLA CHEESE?"
Loki exploded in laughter as Tony rushed to the tap, filling a nearby glass with water, and guzzling it in one go. Gasping for breath, he looked between the two men sitting at the table. "Okay, whodunit?"
There was only one option, as Steve was the one looking very annoyed, and Loki was the hologram rolling on the floor and howling in laughter. Tony rolled his eyes, and dumped the coffee down the drain. "Why do I even ask, anymore…"
"You should've seen your face…" Loki wheezed, gasping for breath.
Tony gave him an unamused look. "It's too early for this."
Just then, Clint emerged from the ceiling vents, and nonchalantly dropped down onto the kitchen floor, dusting his clothes off.
"Good morrow, Barton!" Loki cheerfully greeted, lying on the floor.
"Morning, Clint." Steve nodded.
Clint raised an eyebrow. "Cap, your teeth are pink."
Steve shot a glare at Loki, who had dissolved into giggles, again. "…I know."
Meanwhile, Thor was trying to convince Loki's pet serpent, Jormungandir, that he actually had permission to enter Loki's apartment. The snake couldn't actually speak, but Loki had taught it how to speak into someone's mind. It was as big around as a tree trunk, and certainly not a being to be trifled with.
"I swear, Noble serpent, I only wish to fetch a spell book for Loki."
Loki has died, Jormungandir contradicted. I know you're lying. The least I can do for him is ensure nobody steals his precious things.
"He's not, I told you this, already." Thor groaned.
Liar.
"Ouch." Thor grumbled. Loki had gotten the serpent when he was sixteen, so the fifteen-year-old Loki in Stark Tower didn't know of his existence, or of how to convince him to allow access to his room. "What if I gave you my word?"
What is the word of an Asgardian to a forked-tongued serpent? The serpent hissed menacingly.
Desperately, Thor wracked his brain for something to offer. "I could swear it on Mjolnir?"
Jormungandir didn't even reply, simply gave Thor a long, hard, unimpressed stare. Thor was suddenly pointedly aware of the massive number of snakes he'd killed with said Mjolnir.
"Is there anything I could say that would sway you?" Thor asked wearily.
Nothing comes to mind… The Thunderer had never seen a snake look so smug as he shifted his coils that blocked Loki's door.
Thor bit his lip thoughtfully. "What if I gave you a gift?"
Ah, bribery! Jormungandir narrowed his eyes.
"No, proof that I come in peace, and wish you no harm."
The snake's face twisted into a smile. You are very bad at negotiating.
"I know…" Thor sighed, leaning against the wall. He refused to give up.
I'll tell you what, Asgardian. Jormungandir allowed. You prove to me that you truly mean no harm to the name and legacy of my former master, and I'll allow you in.
Thor made a helpless gesture. "How am I supposed to do that?"
Since when is that my concern?
Thor groaned, and put his hands to his head in despair. "I shan't leave until I think of something, so you'd better get used to my company."
Oh, horror. Jormungandir dead-panned. This is truly the worst torture you could have possibly conceived of.
Thor shot the serpent a glare, and rocked slightly on his heels. "What if… I… wait, you can read minds, can you not?"
Jormungandir nodded.
"Then look into my mind, and see that I have no ill intentions." Thor pleaded.
Not that simple. I look into your mind, you pretend to have no ill intentions, if you're a good enough liar, it looks the same as if you really didn't.
Thor groaned, and slid down the wall.
You really are determined, aren't you?
"I like to think I am." Thor countered.
Either that or just stupid. Jormungandir shifted away from the door. But only because you bore me.
Thor leapt to his feet in jubilation. "Thank you, noble serpent!"
Don't mention it… And I do have a name. Jormungandir slithered into the room behind him, giving him the stink eye the whole time. After quickly following Loki's instructions, he found the book the Trickster had spoken of inside the desk's drawer. It was bookmarked with a red ribbon, about halfway through, at a page that had the words "This is the spell you're looking for, Thor." Written in red ink at the top. He supposed it would be better to read it with Loki in the near proximity, so he stuffed it into his satchel.
Please don't make me regret letting you in here, Jormungandir commanded, resuming his post outside the door.
"You won't, don't worry!" Thor grinned, waving his farewell to the serpent, as he bolted for the Bifrost.
TheOnlyHuman.