Chapter 8: Blaze and Flame
Kisses of torment, kisses of seduction, kisses of absolute pleasure. He was incredible, drawing out pleasure from every part of her body. He laughed wickedly as his mouth disappeared beneath the covers and the world exploded. He was relentless in his torment, she was dying for him, begging for more. The pure desire burned her, until she was crying, blind from the ferociousness of the wave that tore through her, "Derek, Derek," was all she could say, but he pulled away at the last possible second. She was shaking as he sat up with a taunting smile, "Why did you stop?"
He laughed, "I want you to admit you want me, that you are crazy about me, and then I'll continue."
Casey threw a pillow at him, and angrily got out of his bed. "You are infuriating, I hate you!" She marched away but not before hearing, "You have a funny way of showing your hate. Your body tells me something else, you want me Casey. All you have to do is say the truth for once, and you could have anything you want."
Casey woke up, breathing heavily, her heart was pounding viciously. Oh god. Something was really wrong with her. Ever since Derek left, she had such passionate dreams. They were so intense that she'd wake up feeling so rattled...and aroused beyond anything she ever felt before. She missed Derek so much, and these dreams weren't helping the way she missed him. They were so graphic, and the worst part was she could feel his hands, could feels his kisses as she dreamt, but then she'd wake up and he wasn't there, it was all in her mind. She felt so guilty and dirty, but she couldn't stop thinking about those dreams.
That kiss throttled her. Realizing that glorious mouth would be around her and that she'd have to contain herself from kissing him again made her desperately agitated. It wasn't fair, why did he have to be such an incredible kisser? It was as if God put Derek in her life as a breathing, living temptation just to watch her suffer. The lust dreams kept her up at night, and she would spend way too much time thinking about him that way, it was ridiculous. But how could she not think about it after kiss?
Casey desperately needed a distraction. She spent every moment thinking about Derek, wondering if he was okay, if he was happy. He would call her every single day, and they would text, but the conversations felt tense. That kiss changed their dynamic, and while he was sweet and clearly wanted to make sure she was okay, he was reserved and almost shy. She ended up having to meticulously plan every single day he was away. She spent entire days at campus, at Robin's and had Lizzie and mom over several times. They were getting so excited about the coming baby, and it made her feel less lonely.
Casey also spent a lot of time interviewing doctors, trying to find the best one for the delivery date, which was June 11th. She was busy developing her birth plan, she wanted no medication, as natural as possible. When she texted Derek her decision he responded with:
Oh man, you're brave. Now would probably be a good time to tell you blood makes me queasy, I may be a big baby, and I'll try to be the confident guy I've always been, but I can't promise it.
She laughed, oh Derek thought he was this macho type all his life, but she just knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.
Well, you don't have to be present you know? It was perfectly normal in the olden days for the father to pace back and forth outside the delivery room, and well….. honestly the thought of you seeing me in such a state kind of freaks me out. You'd be seeing a lot of stuff that could give you nightmares for the rest of your life.
His response made her smile as she walked through campus.
While I appreciate the option, I think if you have to go through the nightmare of giving birth naturally, then my eyes can handle a little discomfort. I want to be there, who's hand will you crush if I'm not there?
Casey stayed in a state of euphoria as she tackled her schoolwork. That was one thing that had taken a bit of a hit for her, but now having so much time without Derek taking her attention, she was able to truly study more and her grades went up. Graduation was only a few months to go. She also wanted to get ahead so when Derek came back, she could spend the entire time with him. God how she missed him. The Leafs had played two games and they won by a landslide, although she didn't understand the game's rules and strategies, she understood they were doing quite well.
The following week she went to her appointment. Just like that she was at 20 weeks. She went into the appointment with intense nerves, as she thought of a million things that could be wrong. As the doctor went over the ultrasound, she smiled sadly remembering the last time with Derek, she wished he was with her for this. And then with all the courage she had asked for the sex of the baby.
"Congrats Miss McDonald, you're having a….."
Casey left the doctor's office with a giant smile on her face. She sent a photo of the ultrasound to Derek and simply texted:
I know who won 😉 I'll wait until you get home to tell you. But the baby is so healthy and is it just me or doesn't it look like the sweetest little angel? I'm in love.
Damn, that it is one big baby and it's got a huge head. Maybe it will be a brainiac like you, I joke of course. If it looks like an angel does it mean it's a girl? I honestly don't care who wins, but I can't wait to win in person.
Three weeks went by slowly and painfully, but then the day finally arrived. Casey cleaned the house from top to bottom and made Derek's favourite dinner. She went to the window every few moments to see if he arrived. She ended up going to the salon and got a different look, her hair was cut into shorter layers that fell to her shoulders styled with a few beachy waves throughout. She told herself it wasn't for him, told herself she was trying to change her appearance for herself, but she put extra effort on her makeup, choosing a more fitted dark blue dress to highlight her bump. She looked pregnant now but it was still at the stage where she didn't look like a wrecking ball just yet.
At last, she heard the sound of a car parking and felt an intense reaction to that sound. She opened the front door with excitement. A little shock went through her as she took him in, god TV really didn't do his handsomeness any justice. He was smiling, his dark hair was a little longer. She bit her lip as she stared at that mouth, and that acute sensation took over her.
Derek came out of the car hauling all of his luggage, and then he saw her. He stopped cold, even from across the yard she felt that pull of magnetism. She smiled at him and he stood there for a moment without any reaction, and then a slow burn smile went over his face. She could see him intensely roving over her body in a slow sweeping gaze, burning her.
"Hi," she sighed, "Welcome back," she didn't mean to sound so breathless, but it was hard to sound normal when he was inspecting her so brazenly.
"Hey," he dropped his bags and fumbled with his stuff, suddenly looking around nervously. She moved forward to help him with his stuff, and wordlessly walked with him inside. When he put his stuff down, they stared at each other for a long time.
"Are you okay?" She asked as her heart hammered.
He chuckled and rubbed away tension in his neck. "Yeah sorry, my brain just stopped, must be all the flying," he said quickly, but then looked at her body again. "Holy planet," he teased.
She lightheartedly slapped his shoulder, hiding her face as she felt a blush go over her, "You shut up this moment, is that really the best compliment you can give?"
Being that close to him felt like she was getting the air sucked from her lungs. "No, but it's the funniest and I'm sticking to it, but for real I've been gone three weeks what the hell happened?"
He continued to stare at her body up and down, she realized it had nothing to do with her, but it still made her dizzy, "Do we really need to go down memory lane? You got me pregnant, and now it's obvious." It was the obvious result of that passionate night, and that lust coursed through her to her mortification. This was the evidence that night wasn't just a crazy dream or fantasy.
His gaze went back up and locked with hers, "I know, I was there," he said with a little laugh, "It's just nuts to see you this big and there's still months left. I'm worried for you Case, we might need to install one of those stair cranes to lift you upstairs."
Casey laughed, "Yeah you're telling me, my feet have gotten so swollen Der, and it already hurts to stand too long."
They were quiet for a moment, his eyes were so distracting, "You were amazing Der, I can't wait to watch the real thing with the family."
He grinned, "Oh watch it be the game we lose, but I was able to manage so you and the family could get the best seats of the house, and I've included for Sam and Robin." She hated sports with a passion, but she couldn't help but be excited to watch him for real, she felt a sense of pride go over her.
After a moment of electric silence, she ushered him to the kitchen where she put down five different plates of food. They sat quietly as they ate, but she was so happy. Having him back felt so right, and soon enough they got caught up talking, going over their separate adventures.
Casey was a babe, no ifs or buts, so damn sexy. He had to literally tighten his jaw to avoid it dropping to the ground. Those weeks away from her were pure torment, and he missed her. Kissing her was probably a mistake because that's all he could think about while he was gone, and then he comes back to find her like that. Whatever she did, it made him lose brain cells instantly. The dress she wore wrapped around her highlighting her figure, and he was turned on. Damn, how he wanted to unwrap her like a present and feast on her, her pregnant belly was so gorgeous. Her body looked lush and inviting, just begging to be to worshipped by his mouth and his hands.
He spent the entire evening trying to keep himself from leering at her too much, but it was hard not to check her out. After dinner they sat together on the couch. They made small talk because his mind literally couldn't carry a normal conversation when she looked like that. And then she said the baby was kicking up a storm and reached for his hand and placed it on her. He stared at her face as he touched her. Oh it was kicking alright, but he was too distracted by Casey to really notice it. He sighed deeply, he'd waited three weeks and he was finally home, being able to get lost in those electrifying eyes was home. The deeply intimate moment made him internally freak out. Thankfully she pulled away and reached under the couch.
Excitement went over her face as she handed him a little box, "This was the best bet of my life," she was already squealing.
Derek gawked at her, "It's a girl?"
She motioned for him to open it. His hands were shaking as he pulled out a blue soother. He stared at it for a moment, just processing the information as he looked at her, "I won?" his voice was all raspy and strange.
She beamed, her eyes were like crystal falls, tearing up slightly. "I've never been so happy to lose in my entire life, we're having a boy Derek, you're having a son."
Derek stared at her, his mouth hung open with surprise. Everything moved around him in slow motion. He stood up slowly and pulled her up by the hand. A boy. She was having a boy. Casey was giving him the craziest, most amazing gift of his entire life, a son: someone to toss a ball with, someone to wrestle, someone to teach all his crazy pranks to just as his dad had taught him. He was going to be a father...to a son. Suddenly the reminder of all the hell he put his own dad through for years, came to back haunt him. Oh boy, guess it was time for life give him a taste of his own medicine. He was terrified, but it was the adrenaline type fear, the one felt right before going on a rollercoaster, and the best part was Casey would be right beside him through that crazy ride. He felt extremely lucky and although he would have felt the same if it had been a girl.
He was speechless. And then as Casey tugged on his arm, a lightning bolt of joy went through him. "Guess you'll be outnumbered princess," he said shakily.
Casey laughed as tears went down her face, "Oh I know, I can just imagine it: you and your little clone teaming up to make me crazy, but something about it makes me so blissfully happy."
And then he reached for her and wrapped his arms around her, lifted her off the ground and spun her around in a tight hug. There was no cooling off the extreme excitement. It was the most amazing moment, and when he put her down she was laughing, crying, and he felt an intense adrenaline rush consume him. He cradled her face softly and smiled at her.
"Thank you, I…..never could have imagined my life going this way, but man am I ever glad I slept with you. I mean I know it's complicated, all this is, but it's hard to feel guilty when we're getting something so damn good out of it."
Casey blushed, nodding along, "Yeah, I feel the same this is the one thing I refuse to apologize for."
He let go of her and they sat back down, his heart was racing. The intimate moment made him say stuff he probably shouldn't but it was true, he couldn't regret that night as hard as he tried. If this was all that would ever come out of this, then he still got one night with her, one night that he'll never forget and that he couldn't possibly remove from his mind, and he got a son out of that night.
Casey leaned into him, giving him an adorable eyebrow wiggle. "So, you won, have you picked a middle name?"
Derek smiled, "George. I figure it would be good to get to his good graces since finding out I slept with you will surely disappoint him, but I mean he can't be mad at the baby if he has his name."
She giggled, clapping her hands enthusiastically. "You're clever, and that is such a classic name, I like it."
Derek was too excited and got up, "Grab your coat, you and I are celebrating."
They went out for a movie and it was amazing. He couldn't say what the movie was about since he spent the entire time with Casey talking in his ear, he never laughed so much, and the joy on her face was too contagious, there was no turning off the current between them. They rested their arms on the same armrest, she kept brushing up against him. He wasn't sure if she was doing it on purpose or not, but then he stared at her hand for a long time. He couldn't help himself, he sighed before giving in. He nervously reached for it, threading his fingers through her hand. She stared at it with surprise, so he leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Don't think too much alright, I'm just too damn happy right now" and she just beamed at him, and squeezed gently. Thank god it was dark so she couldn't see how ridiculously happy just holding her hand made him. Three days, he was there for three days, and he wanted the rest of the time to be this amazing. He only hoped he could keep the desire to kiss her again in check, but he knew it would kill him to try.
The next day Casey woke up with the most glorious smile ever, the night before had been so amazing and sweet. They were having a boy and just his reaction, the way he smiled all evening made her unbelievably giddy. They held hands, and it made her blush. It was ridiculous, she was behaving like a teenage girl, melting about hand holding, but it was nice. However, with the way she felt the last few weeks with the lust, for some reason holding his hand made her tingly and extremely sensitive.
As the day progressed, those feelings of desire kept burning her. She was concerned over her lusty emotions since they had never been this bad before. She had a healthy libido like anyone out there, but this was extreme. She googled it, apparently it was quite normal to be extra feisty during the beginning of the second trimester. Everything got her riled up, watching him shave, him drinking juice, Derek splayed out on the couch while he watched TV. It was Derek smiling whenever she entered a room. Just hearing his voice got her all fired up, she was concerned for herself. He was just doing ordinary things, but somehow, they seemed erotic, sexual, completely distracting. Seeing Derek's bedhead, wild mess of hair somehow made her randy beyond belief. She wanted to sink her fingers into it and kiss him.
Then came the moment where she just lost it. She had been in an amazing mood, no hormone outbreaks, but this changed everything. He was just walking around the house shirtless, dripping from his shower as he went to do the dryer to pull out his clothes. The sight of water droplets gleaming on his skin made her frazzled. Just the mere sight of him walking around with jeans shirtless made her warm and fuzzy. Her mouth went dry, Derek had to be the sexiest man alive, had to be. And he was just parading himself in front of her with no regard to her feelings or the fact she was hormonal. Inconsiderate jerk! Derek caught her staring.
"I know right, I'm just so hot you can't take it," he teased but apparently had no idea that it was indeed how she felt.
Instead she got up and glared at him, his smile vanished instantly. "You're getting the floor all wet and ruining the wood, can't you be a little more careful?" She snapped.
He got a shirt out of the dryer, and put it on quickly. Now she was angry he was dressed, it made no sense, "Sorry, I'll clean it up I'm a little dumb these days."
She felt guilty, "No, no, I'm sorry, just- irritated all of a sudden."
He came forward smiling at her, oh please stop. "What's wrong?"
She looked away, "My ankles hurt, they're just so fat. Sorry I'm just going to lie down for a moment." She did not want to ruin anything, she had two more days with him.
And that's when it went from lust to madness. Derek came in to her room, he was quiet as he casually sat astride from her on the bed. He studied her for a moment, "Der?"
He smiled and then to her shock, he picked up her foot, and started massaging gently.
"What are you do-ing?" she stuttered as the gentle pressure intensified. He massaged the planes of her foot, to her toes, to the ankles. She thought for sure she was dreaming, it felt so incredibly good.
"You said your ankles were fat, I just had to come and see if it was true," Derek grinned, but he didn't look at her. He was completely focused on her foot, which was probably a good thing, she couldn't handle the eye contact at a moment like this. She was just blushing uncontrollably.
"They're hideous, aren't they?"
Derek winked at her, causing a constellation of stars to spiral in her vision from the impact. "They're a little ugly, but I'll survive." His focus went back to massaging her with complete gentleness, but it was enough to get her heart pumping. He then went to other foot, repeating the same maddening routine. She felt herself settle back on the pillow, surrendering to his tempting touch.
Casey bit her lip as he asked, "Does it hurt?"
She exhaled sharply, "No- it feels, um, nice." She felt like she was under a spell, taking in the sight of him just taking care of her was more than she could handle.
His hands started moving up a bit, tenderly caressing her ankles, and to her surprise he massaged her calves too. To her dismay, she let out a quiet, turbulent, "Mmmm."
Derek smiled, clearly pleased that she was enjoying his touches. But there was nothing for her to smile about, she was going crazy with desire wanting him to touch other parts of her. When he stopped she groaned quietly, she wanted his hands all over her.
"Anytime you feel pain, let me know," he got up slowly, and looked at her with a shy little smile, "While I'm here you can count on me for anything okay?"
Tenderness went over her face, "Thank you Der." There was no denying it anymore, she was attracted to him, so irresistibly attracted, she needed to be careful or god help her, she was one step away from jumping him.
The rest of that afternoon, Derek got prepared for his hockey game. She dropped him off at the rink, and right before they got there, she snapped at him a couple of times. It was the nerves, the intense sexual attraction, all of it. He was clearly taken back by it, but then he put on his usual charming smile and acted like her snarkiness was no big deal. She felt guilty. Then she went to the family's and bossed them around, she put all of her pent-up energy into getting them ready for the game. Everyone was excited, but she felt anxious, nervous, uptight. She was a nightmare.
When they got to the rink, everyone bought giant foam fingers, they were chanting the name Venturi out loud. George, Marty and Edwin looked so proud and excited, and being able to see them celebrate Derek was such a huge accomplishment. When the whole team went on the ice, she spotted Derek immediately. Oh, good god he was sexy. She felt her heart exploding inside her chest.
George turned to everyone, "At the count of three, we're going to yell Go Derek, but it has to be really loud so it's on TV," he grinned happily. He counted and everyone just screamed "Go Derek!" and she saw him looking towards the noise of them jumping, waving, the Venturi's and the McDonalds, Sam and Robin just clapping and whooping in his direction, and Derek grinned.
"Derek is incredible," Robin whispered in her ear with admiration at one point.
Casey was riveted. He was so self assured on the ice, as if he was on a completely different realm of existence. He was so sexy; Casey felt her cheeks burn as she felt the jolt of her need for him. Derek scored a few times and seeing that pure look of joy on his face was worth everything. Was worth the time apart from him.
"He really is," she said a little dreamily.
Robin leaned into her, "Still feel nothing for him? Because you're looking at him like he's a Greek god descending from heaven."
Casey blushed, "I admire him, that doesn't mean I have feelings for him," she said defensively. "Also I don't want anyone to hear your comments."
At one point during the game, it was as if Derek had laser vision, looked directly at her during intermission. He smiled at her and she couldn't help but melt into a puddle as she waved at him. She was so proud of him, seeing him play in real life took her breath away.
When Derek and Casey were walking out of the rink together after, she felt so shy and fluttery around him. She'd been so hot and cold on him all day, and he probably thought she was crazy.
"So, still mad at me?" He put his arm around her shoulder, "I'm sorry for breathing," he teased.
Casey blushed, "I don't know what's wrong with me. Der, just wanted you to know I thought you were incredible out there. "
Derek smiled boyishly, "Case you are completely yo-yoing me. One moment you're nice and sweet, the next you're yelling at me and completely seem annoyed by my mere existence."
She felt guilty, completely. "No, I just…. Um, I know it sounds like a broken record, but hormones. I can't keep up, I'm sorry your time back hasn't been laid back. I'm so stressful, aren't I?"
Derek brought her into his side, giving her a side hug. "Trust me, you're still much better to be around than my coach. You are like a basket of kittens in comparison," he said softly.
And there he goes again, making her flustered,"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," she mused.
"Come on, let's go out and celebrate. Let's get some milkshakes, or I don't know anything you want. I just can't explain how awesome it felt to be playing a real game of hockey being televised and having you, and the family just watching. It was cool, thanks for putting it together."
Casey laughed, "I drove everyone mad, I bossed them around all afternoon. But I did it for you," she offered sweetly, "I guess I was just as nervous for you."
Derek seemed to pull her in closer, "Well, then I thank you," he said charmingly, making that lust boil again on the surface.
As they walked out of the stadium a girl's voice called from the darkness, "Derek Venturi, I'm a big fan," the voice was draped with syrupy sweetness. "May I have an autograph?"
Derek turned around, and there was a figure resting against the wall. Casey felt turmoil spread through her, something alerting her that this wouldn't be a pleasant reveal.
Derek laughed, "Um depends, are you trying to rob me because you're sort of sketchy right now."
The girl laughed and slowly came into the dim lighting. Derek gasped and Casey felt like someone had clubbed her over the head. She was more beautiful than ever, her blonde hair was long and wavy, shimmering like gold. Her blues eyes sparkled as she smiled at Derek with glinting familiarity but there was also an obvious look of attraction that went over her features.
"Sally," Derek croaked, "Way to scare the crap out of me," he said at last.
Sally moved slowly, as if she was afraid Derek would skittish off, "Hi Derek," she said breathily.
Derek looked pale and completely flabbergasted, "Hey."
Sally finally noticed Casey, and looked at her with complete warmth. "Casey, my goodness, it's been ages! You look so beautiful," she gushed sweetly.
Casey felt like an Oompaloompa compared to her. Sally was gorgeous, and she felt like a tomato ready to burst. "Me? You're stunning," Casey said quietly, "Um, what a surprise to see you." She tried to smile, but it felt like she had to plaster it on. Derek's arm which had been around her, slowly left, and she was angry. Oh I see, Sally is back and now I'm old news.
She glanced at Derek, he seemed completely out of it, just staring at Sally as if she was an apparition. God of course it had to be Sally that came out of nowhere, the great love of his life. She wanted to cry.
"You're back I see, It's been ages," he muttered with friendliness, "Are you back for good?"
Sally shoved her hands in her pocket, clearly nervous, but eyed him openly. "BC was amazing, I just wanted to come back because….there was something missing, turns out BC didn't have everything I wanted."
Derek smiled timidly, "Ah. Well, I hope you find it here."
Casey stared down at the ground, feeling like a third wheel.
Sally pulled out a notebook and handed it to him, "When I turned on the TV and accidentally watched the game and saw you, I almost died of shock. I can't believe it you really did it," she said sweetly, "I always knew you could do it. I had to find you, please, please, please sign it for me."
Derek laughed nervously, turning to look at Casey with a little smile. He took it and started signing it. It was frigid cold, and Derek seemed to be writing her a whole article, or so it felt like it.
Sally's attention turned to her with vivid friendliness, "Casey, I would love to catch up some time, I would love to know what's become of your life."
Casey couldn't help feeling the tightness in her chest, and her mouth opened. "I'm sure that's not why, admit it you just want to get to me to get to Derek," she said icily.
Derek whipped her a look, and she wanted to melt from embarrassment but she couldn't hold it back. "Uh, Sally please forgive her snarkiness. She's had a long night, I mean she had to watch me play, she was already mad at me."
Casey glared at him, and he was scolding her with a look, how could he not see how bothered she was? "I'm so sorry," she muttered with fake sincerity, "I….he's right it's been a long night."
Sally interjected, "Oh no don't apologize Casey. I totally understand why you'd make that assumption; I'm not offended. How about this, I promise not to ever come to you about your step brother. I've always liked you, I swear my intention is genuine. And if I ever want to 'get' to Derek as you said, I will go directly to the source." Right, she forgot how much of a sweetheart Sally was. No wonder Derek fell for her.
Annoyed over Sally calling Derek her step brother, she just couldn't help it. "Oh, well that's sweet of you. But I'm a little busy as of late you see, I'm pregnant," she said as a last resort, "so that's what's new. Probably why I'm so annoyed," she flared Derek with a look.
Derek was clearly nervous, and he looked at her with sudden concern. Oh, clearly she was ruining their perfect reunion.
Sally grinned widely, "Oh my goodness congratulations Casey, that's fantastic. You're going to be an amazing mom."
Derek finally managed to speak, "Um yeah, we're all very happy it," he leaned into Casey as if he was trying to butter her up. She was shaking, the volcano was so close from erupting, possessiveness crept over her in burning degrees.
"Thanks," she couldn't handle take it anymore, "Der why don't I get a cab home? I'm sure Sally would love to catch up with you."
Sally looked at Derek with a hopeful, shy smile, "I know you're tired after that game. But if you'd ever like to…..just catch up I'd love that."
Derek's arm went around Casey as if he was soothing her for the upcoming blow, "Sally. It's nice to see you again, and I mean you're cool. One of the coolest girls I've ever known, but unfortunately my time here is extremely short. I will be kind of MIA for a while as I travel back and forth and since it's such a quick time I'm here, my time goes entirely to some, um, other priorities that have come up."
Casey looked at him with surprise, completely floored. He had to be doing it because she was already in an uptight mood, there's no way Derek didn't want to meet with her.
Sally smiled sadly but reached into her coat pocket and handed him her phone number. "Well, I'm around now, I got a job as a pharmacist. Anytime you want to just maybe go get a burger anything, let me know. It was really nice to see you, and Casey, I hope you know my invitation goes to you as well."
She gave Derek one last longing filled glance, and left. Casey moved away from Derek with an anger filled haste, but he caught up with her easily. "Well, talk about a blast from the past," he teased.
Casey was in no mood for his jokes. And he must have sensed that. The jealousy she felt was going through her in voltages. "You should have gone with her," she said with a flat tone, "anyone with eyes could see you wanted to."
Derek halted her, and all smirks and funny business left, "Well, then you're blind," he answered surlily, "Don't you dare try to attempt to speak for me, when really you are as clueless as they come. I just felt bad for Sally, having to deal with hormonal you right out of the gate, but hey gotta hand it to her she's tough."
"Oh, yes poor Sally, why don't you go and console her," she muttered angrily. "I'm not dense Derek, I know a spark when I see one," she said cloyingly, refusing to spare him a glance.
Derek seized her shoulders, halting her in place, he looked angry. "Can you? Then you're really more blind than I realized. Just drop it Case. Was it nice to see her, sure, but that's it. I'm not interested in dating , nor do I have the time to."
"Whatever," she muttered, "Please let's go I'm exhausted, my head's pounding."
When they got home Casey went straight to her room, closing the door loudly. She threw herself on the bed. Sally. Sally was the one person that really got to Derek's heart. Different memories tormented her: mostly Derek and Sally kissing around the house, even then it was annoying. Derek almost moved for her, the memory made her angry and upset, she hadn't slept that entire week, was absolutely worried sick. It hurt deeper than she'd ever admit to know he was abandoning her, just taking off and he didn't even care about her feelings or how upsetting it would be to her. It broke her into a million pieces , because it meant he didn't care about her at all. He really loved Sally. She was so relieved when he stayed.
To her surprise, Derek came in, and sat on her bed. "Casey. We're not doing this. Is this really how you want things to leave between us? I leave again tomorrow. I don't want to date Sally, why don't you believe me?"
Casey didn't want to look at him. "It's just you're you. You dated more people than I could ever count, and well It's Sally. You loved her Derek, and she loved you. She was good for you, she brought out a really nice side of you. So go, date her, I don't care," she said emphatically.
Derek groaned deeply. "Look, Casey. Sally was important, I'm not going to lie to you and say she never meant anything to me, but that was a long time ago. She doesn't fit in my life anymore."
Casey scoffed, and she could feel his gaze consume her. She picked at her blanket agrily, "I'm just amazed at Sally's bravery to just come find you and try to reconnect with you after five years. I wouldn't be so confident, that's for sure."
Derek was silent, and her heart was racing as she stole a glance at him. He turned away from her, she couldn't read him at all. "What is it, you're keeping something from me aren't you?"
He was quiet for a long time, and then sighed, "Alright, I'll tell you, but promise me you won't freak out on me?"
Casey just rolled her eyes, "Just spit it out Derek. I'll be fine, I just can't stand you keeping things from me. Out with it."
Derek wrestled with himself, but then sat cross-legged on her bed, facing her. "Tonight, wasn't the first time I saw her. Last time I saw her was shortly before getting scouted and haven't seen her since. "
Casey was already feeling frantic, "Oh? Please tell me the rest, I've had a long night please don't leave me with my imagination running wild. Why did you see her?"
Derek looked conflicted, "Sally and I have met up for years whenever she'd visit her family. Sally dated a couple guys, but if she was single well, she'd call me up."
Casey knew she looked spastic already, "And then what?" she demanded.
Derek shook his head aggressively."Case I'm not having that discussion with you, just forget it. We met up that's all you have to know."
Casey felt tears tug at her eyes, and she reached for his arm, gripping him tightly. "Tell me, please, I need to know," she pleaded and she felt like she would just burst out into tears.
Derek pulled back, and just muttered barely audibly, "We hooked up."
Casey's mouth hung open and she was certain she looked struck. "As in you've been having sex with her all these years? How often?"
Derek looked ashen, and he reached for her but she snapped her arm back. "See, this is why I didn't want you to know."
"How often," she repeated, burning jealousy swept over her.
"Um, I don't know twice a year, you do the math," he said awkwardly.
Casey was jealous beyond words. Imagining him with Sally after being with him felt like betrayal, cold betrayal. She knew she had no right to be angry at him for it, but she couldn't help feeling agony over it. The thought of him doing something that was so earth shattering for her, with Sally was like a knife in the heart. It made their experience feel like second rate amusement, since he loved Sally. She was so pathetic, trying not to cry.
Derek leaned forward again, gently rubbing her knee. "Casey, I loved her once, but after she left for BC I just never allowed myself to get attached to her again. She really screwed me up. All the other times we met up was just…physical, at least for me."
Casey cut him off, "Stop. I get it, no need to explain. Surely it wasn't nothing, she loved you Derek. And I saw the way she looked at you, there was leftover feelings there and you know it."
Derek just buried his face in his hands groaning loudly. "Damn it, Case. What do you want from me? I'm just so confused as to why you're so angry at me. I stood there and told her basically that it wasn't going to happen. Do you wish I lied about my past?"
Casey was losing control on her own emotions, " No, I'm glad you were honest. It's just hard to listen to, and worst to have to see and be reminded of what you had. Please don't ask why, I barely understand anything I say or do lately. But I think you're just holding back for my regard, and I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy."
Derek moved closer to her, his gaze unmoving. "I'm trying to tell you I have moved on. I don't want to date her, or anyone else."
Casey was embarrassed. "When did it stop?"
Derek smiled a little at the question, which angered her more. "Well, last time she was in town, I cancelled my date with her. And well she didn't take it too well. I was honestly surprised to see her again."
Casey could barely breathe, no, it couldn't be…..please no.
He continued, completely unaware of the pain he was causing. "She was the date I cancelled when you came to see me that day."
Oh god. He gave up meeting up with the love of his life because she screwed up his plans. The pain intensified as she realized Derek was going to have sex with Sally that night, after their night. Casey had been absolutely emotional after that night, and to think she was depressed, worried, and stressed over that fight, and he was just looking for the next hook up, speared her, it hurt.
She couldn't hold back, "Ah, of course, I was just another number to you. I know I was insignificant to you, but wow you really move on quick, don't you? Just fantastic, I mean I shouldn't be surprised, it's you."
Derek was shocked, his eyes were as round as pebbles. His face was red, and she knew she hit a trigger. He glared at her with an intensity that made her mind scramble. "First off, you told me never to speak to you ever again after that night, I'm sorry I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong in just living my life! And if I recall correctly, you were the one that acted like that night was no big deal, sorry for believing you, but I'm not a freakin mind reader." His body seemed to move closer and she flinched nervously. "And secondly, you weren't insignificant. I'm sorry for all the stupid stuff I said that night, I know I made you feel like you meant nothing, but I was on freak out mode. I know I was a jerk, but you kicked me out of your life without looking back, as if I was just some stranger. So how was I supposed to know you'd care if I slept with anyone else?" He said with hard puffs of breath.
She felt remorse hit her like a truck. He would never know the anguish she felt after that night, and it was clear that night would always bring up deep cuts for both of them. The volcano erupted, the jealousy won. "Yeah, well it was a big deal! I was on freak out mode too, I didn't mean for things to end that way." She felt tears stinging her eyes as she took in his puzzled expression, "And of course, I care Derek!" she got up from the bed, pacing angrily, Oh my god, what I am I doing, what am I saying?
Derek was so quiet, it was terrifying, "You do?"
Casey bit back the words, trying to get ground back, "Yes you're the father of my baby, of course I care what you do!" Or in this case, who you're sleeping with. "You're really telling me you wouldn't care if I told you I was moments from getting back together with my ex after being with you, with this baby on the way? Wouldn't it make you feel a little...I don't know annoyed?"
When she finally glanced at him, he looked annoyed, bothered, jealous and intense, "I wouldn't celebrate, that's for sure," he muttered angrily, "I get it Casey, just at the time how was I supposed to know we'd end up pregnant? Or that we'd ever talk again? You weren't insignificant, it's not like you were some stranger I picked up at a bar. You're….." he trailed off looking at her as if she was a puzzle he was trying to figure out, "…..Casey. You're my step sister, and it's weird to even call you that now, but that's the truth. You've been in my life for years, we've had a crazy relationship. You really think I could think of you as just another girl? I mean, I know you asked me to pretend you weren't you, but I couldn't. It was a big deal."
Casey felt the tears surge, for so long she thought that night meant nothing to him and now she realized maybe it did affect him on some level. There were too many questions still. How much did that night mean to him? Did he love it as much as she did? Did he also dream about doing it again? All she had the courage to ask was: "I have to ask….. taking the baby out of the picture for a moment and how it ended, do you um regret it?"
Derek smiled, although there was nothing to smile about, he blushed intensely. "Surprisingly, no. I wanted to, but no...do you?"
Casey looked down, feeling a current of emotion, "I didn't, but now I do," she admitted.
"Why?" His voice was tight with nerves.
Casey burst out into tears, she couldn't control it. Sally had changed everything. "I'm upset because I feel like I ruined your life, had it not been for me, and this, then you and Sally would be back together, and nothing you say could make me think otherwise."
Derek got up and moved towards her, and to her surprise he pulled her into a hug. "Stop it, you didn't." His hands were in her hair, gently moving it away so he could talk in her ear. "Choosing to be part of your life, and being there for this baby was way more important to me. Please believe me, I don't want her that way anymore. If anything, you saved me from going down that road with Sally again. I just think she's too independent, and she's never happy at one place for too long, I don't think we would work out even if I did want to. You didn't ruin a thing, okay?"
Casey just wanted to drown in his hug, and she felt ridiculous, embarrassed, her hormones were the pure devil. But he held her tightly, softly rubbing her back. As he pulled back, his gentle gaze made everything just melt away. "Do you believe me now?"
A few hours ago, she could have sworn that there was something starting between them. That kiss, and then this weekend, but now she felt like she couldn't breathe, like everything was just an illusion. Sally was back, and the thought of him being intimate with her or with anyone else was making her crazy. So with all the courage she had asked:
"Okay, maybe you won't date her, or others but you're really telling me you are just going to hold back from having sex? You aren't really known for being a monk. I'm sure Sally would have no problem seeking you out just for physical stuff. I'm sure she's quite desperate for it, I mean I don't blame her, I know what that's like." Oh God, what was wrong with her?
Derek surprised her with a smile so wickedly delicious, "Are you saying I'm good in bed?"
Casey turned scarlet, looking away abashedly, "All I'm saying is I understand why she'd seek you out time after time….you have some moves I guess," she said shyly.
Derek's musical laugh infused her with warmth, "Oh thank god I have some moves then, I thought I had lost my touch." She laughed a little, but then he continued, "I haven't been with anyone since you, so don't doubt my ability to hold back if I really want to. Sally clearly wants more than just that, and I just don't see her that way anymore. I don't have it in me to give anything to anyone right now. I told you before, I'm not interested in shallow one night stands. I just want to focus on the baby, and taking care of you."
Casey stopped breathing as she slowly sat down on her bed , "Taking care of me?"
Derek smiled smugly, "Someone has to, you're just chaotic like a tornado. But it doesn't scare me, I just want you to be okay, and let me tell you taking care of you is a 24/7 job, with the tears, the yelling, the sudden outbursts of hate. And guess what?"
Casey blushed, "What?"
He towered over her on the bed, she felt lightheaded, feeling that impassioned feeling consume her. He was mesmerizing, she couldn't look away. "I don't mind taking care of you."
His words caused a chasm to release inside her, a swarm of butterflies set loose. "Does that mean you're putting that on hold for now?" She was afraid to jump to any conclusions.
He nodded decisively. "I don't feel I'm missing anything right now, alright? Now get some rest, promise me you won't go on another rampage tonight?"
Casey smiled leaning back on the bed, and to her surprise Derek pulled up the covers and tucked her in. "No promises," she teased.
She was melting, slipping away, he was really too sweet to handle. This is why she feared anyone discovering this side of him and stealing him away. She knew sadly it was a matter of time it happened, so for now she would greedily take in all his attention. He was putting his life on hold for her, and it was just so sweet of him. And he seemed sincere, that jealousy was replaced with longing and admiration, she couldn't blame Sally for trying to be with him. He was one of a kind.
Derek got up slowly, "We have one more day tomorrow…..can we just forget this Sally thing? I just want to chill out, maybe hang out, have some fun with you before having to leave for maybe months. "
She smiled, "Yes, please, I owe you a milkshake tomorrow."
He left slowly, "You better not flake out, or else," he taunted and opened the door, "Night, Case."
"No flaking, I promise, " and he smiled and left, leaving her with her scattered thoughts.
Derek was in a nightmare, of course Sally had to fricken show up. He was sweating bullets the entire time, and Casey was clearly angry about the situation. Somehow, he felt guilty for his entire past, and felt the need to explain it away to her. She was angry, clearly upset, and everything in him was trying to suppress a little twinge of happiness that she was displaying jealousy. Turns out her jealousy wasn't even over him, but because he was the father of her baby and clearly it affected her that she got in the way of his life. Seeing Sally rattled him, mostly because he felt absolutely nothing for her, and in the past there was definitely attraction, and some feelings. This wasn't just a girl he met randomly, she was his ex. An ex that he had a hell of a time getting over. But now Casey had taken over his entire mind, it had been a long time since he even thought of Sally.
Derek was moments away from revealing just how much that night meant to him, seeing her look at him with such betrayal killed him. As if he could ever forget her, and just a number? Even if he didn't feel something for her, she could never just be another girl on his list. Going back to the weeks after that night he was completely out of it, he walked around glumly, hardly spoke to anyone, he was tanking at work. When he was alone at home, he thought of trying to apologize, but he just never had the guts to do it.
He came too damn close one time, he actually went to the campus to talk to her, but he completely flaked out. He saw her sitting on a bench, she was reading, and she was looking at that book like she wanted to shred it to pieces. Seeing her made him all nervous and flustered, but he also remembered feeling something else. He missed her, he couldn't look at her without remembering that night. Oh he missed her alright, a little too much, and so he walked away. She was already in a bad mood, and he made excuses in his mind to walk away. He told himself it was better to leave things alone, but as the days went by, the reality that he might never see her again, or even if he did there would always be that anger and hurt, hit him hard. He kept telling himself he was being stupid, and should have seen it as a one night stand as she had, but he couldn't. He hated admitting Casey hurt him, but he couldn't hate her for that night, couldn't regret it, and there wasn't a day where he didn't think of her.
On Thanksgiving he didn't even go home, he faked illness. He just didn't have the balls to see her and act as if nothing happened, so for her to say he was just moving on to Sally as if nothing bothered the hell out of him. While he had made plans with Sally, he really didn't think he would have been able to sleep with her. He was just in dire need of a distraction, and maybe he hoped Sally would help take Casey out of his mind, and he knew that was stupid, but he was desperate. And then she mentioned her reaction was also her being on freak out mode, that it was a big deal, and that she did care what he did. And now he was even more confused, what did that even mean then? Was that night just as crazy for her?
Knowing Casey enjoyed sex with him made him deliriously happy. The way she blushed and tried to act like him going out and having sex with others didn't bother her, was just so fricken cute. The thought hadn't even occurred to him, literally Casey had his entire attention. And he wanted to take care of her. She was silly and blind, this whole time he'd been smiling like an idiot around her, holding her hand, finding any excuse to touch her and yet she didn't seem to clue in that he was literally making moves right left and center, but it was going over her head. Maybe he did lose his touch, but she made him insanely nervous, it was hard to act cool and confident around her.
The next day they went out for that milkshake, and Casey kept apologizing every few minutes for the way she blew up at him the night before. He kept telling her he couldn't completely blame her for thinking he was a jerk. He did behave like a jackass that night, and when she seeked him out, he didn't exactly welcome her with open arms. Man, he wish could take back what he said, but it was impossible now.
That night he went to get rest, he only had three hours to sleep before his flight. He tried to spend as much time with her as he could, but she promised to wake up before he left and ordered him to go to bed.
He was dozing off, when she knocked lightly. "Come in." Casey came in with a bit of shyness, looking around like a weary rabbit, "Whats up?"
She sat on his bed, chewing her lip anxiously. "Look you're going to be away for a while this time up to two months, and well I've been a little emotional lately. When I get emotional, well I'm in need of physical touch…... I wouldn't come to you normally, but you're the only one here. Nothing strange, I promise, but um would you hold me for a little bit?"
Derek couldn't contain it, he smiled, damn her and her adorable face. He pat the spot next to him, "I guess I could put aside my no cuddle rule for you, just this once," he smirked.
Casey moved slowly, and she laid down beside him, he pulled her into his side snugly. She hesitatingly wrapped her arms around his waist and slowly tucked her head into the crook of his neck. She sighed deeply, "Is that really a rule?"
He laughed into her hair, "Well, usually I kind of run from it, nothing sours my mood more than clingy, touchy women. I'm not the warm and considerate type, it goes against my reputation."
Casey tilted her head back a bit, looking up at him quizzically, "You could have fooled me, you seem awfully cuddly right now," she teased.
He smiled, "Well I'm not going to kick you out, I may be a jerk but I can't do that to you. You're having my baby, you get brownie points."
She laughed softly, the sound of it made him shiver. Her hand moved up lazily over his chest, "So, tell me your full itinerary. I need to know every moment of it."
He looked at her trailing hand, and was worried she'd notice the train wreck of his heart spazzing out over her touch. He rambled on about his schedule, and he tried not to look at her too much, but she was clinging to his every word.
"Der, I know you're tired…..but could we stay up?" He was surprised, she sounded so sleepy already.
But he grinned, he literally couldn't think of anything he'd refuse her. "Fine, but if I'm a zombie by the end of it, it's all your fault."
Casey suddenly took a deep breath, "I have a confession," she murmured.
He got caught up in her gaze. "I missed you," she said It so softly, "I never thought I'd ever miss you, and to think there was a time when I couldn't wait to be on the furthest side of the planet from you, it just seems like a different life. I'm too used to your existence now, I guess."
She moved a little closer, her body was now on top of him a bit. God, her words made him crazy. He couldn't look away as hard as he tried, "I missed you too," he echoed back awkwardly, "I'm too used to you now Space-Case. Also, you're a liar," he teased.
She gawked at him, "A liar? What do you mean?"
He found himself toying with her hair, "You say you couldn't wait to be away from me, but I think you're full of it. You missed me all these years, admit it, why else would you have jumped me?" He was trying to joke, but to his shock she looked away and blushed.
"Maybe a little," she admitted.
What? While of course he hoped that was the case, her response surprised him. "Well, I guess I did too,only a little though," he chuckled lightly. She looked at him. Her eyes were just so beautiful, her gaze was so soft, like she was melting. He wanted to kiss her so badly, instead he ruffled her hair playfully, "Enough of the sappy talk before I throw up."
Casey sighed and drifted back into his neck. Within moments, she fell asleep. He tried to shake her awake, but she was clearly exhausted. Derek then fell asleep for one moment. When he woke up and felt Casey's arms around him, he moved in a haze. An intensity surged through him and he suddenly rolled on top of her gently. His hands roamed over her arms, up to her neck and touched her face. His face hovered over hers, was moments away from kissing her wildly, when she opened her eyes, and she seized him with a look. He was frozen, oh fuck what am I doing? Her hands moved over his back lightly, and gripped him tightly against her. She was trembling slightly, and then she bit her lip. He was mesmerized by a tide of pink that went over her face. He was aware of her breathing, the movement of her chest rising and falling against him was distracting, and his blood curdled with sudden lust. He didn't know what to say, his thumbs moved over her cheeks, and then he felt the crazy throbbing of her pulse as he grazed her neck. He couldn't control his crazy breathing, anymore than she could. He seemed to move closer to her mouth.
"Case," he muttered harshly, and to his complete shock she gave him a little nod, she wanted him to kiss her.
Derek snapped back, "Fuck, I'm sorry," he breathed, and quickly rolled off her. "I just fell asleep and next thing I know I'm attacking you. I'm sorry, clearly it's not a good idea for you to sleep in my bed."
Casey was rattled, "It's okay, you're not used to having anyone in here. Please don't send me away, I want to stay up with you," the pleading in her voice melted him.
He groaned deeply, turning away from her, "Case, I told you I'm not the cuddle type."
She moved behind him and touched his shoulder. "Derek, please. It's not like I'm angry or anything. What you did was completely natural, you woke up with a woman against you…..you just forgot it was me for a moment," she tried to rationalize for him.
He scoffed, she knew fairly well he knew exactly who she was, but clearly she was trying to help him relax. "We'll stay up, but no more cuddles, alright?" He said firmly, I don't trust myself with you. She nodded and moved away from him a bit and laid beside him.
They were completely silent, but the intensity hovered over them. Casey ended up falling asleep again. She was clearly exhausted. Despite not wanting to touch her, he reached for her, holding her for his own greedy need. He was past falling asleep now, anyway.
"I think I may like you, a little too much," he whispered. He watched her, just knowing he could be gone for months straight made him bitter. Two months was a long time to be away. "I know it's stupid, but I'm worried you're going to meet some hunk that is a complete romance ninja, and well….I don't even want to imagine you with anyone else, it makes me jealous, there I said it." He thought back to the night before, was she jealous, even a little bit? He stared at her mouth for a long time, and he was going to kiss her, but thought better of it and kissed her forehead softly.
As he moved to get up, she jerked awake, "Oh my gosh, what time is it?"
"1:00 am," he answered quietly. "It's okay, go back to sleep, I'll see you when I get back Case."
She got up alertly, "You leave in an hour, I cannot believe I fell asleep, I'm so sorry Derek. I wanted to stay up until you left," she said frantically. She studied him, "You're upset, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I'll make it up to you I swear it."
He was only upset because time had gone so fucking fast, and now he had to leave her again. "I'm fine I promise, please Casey. I can manage to get into a car by myself."
Casey glared at him, "Quit trying to get rid of me, it won't work. We only have 30 minutes left, and I don't want us to be sad. What do you say we blow up stuff together?"
Derek stared at her with disbelief, she was smiling, taunting him, and was waiting for his response, but he felt mute and stupid.
He smiled slowly."Oh yeah, bring it on McDonald," and he followed her down the stairs.
While they played together, he couldn't help but challenge her. "You could never beat me, give up,"
And she'd smile at him teasingly, "You got to quit underestimating me! Haven't you learned anything these last few months?"
He paused the game and stared at her; she was something else alright. "Yeah I've learned that no matter how much time I spend with you, you always surprise me."
"Good, have to keep you on your toes, you were getting a little cocky," she grinned, "And well the feeling is mutual, you have surprised me beyond belief. In a good way."
They stared at each other, and he just didn't want to leave, somehow this time it felt more painful. No matter how many times they laughed, blew each other up, and tried to keep things lighthearted, there was a heaviness underneath. As he watched Casey wholeheartedly trying to beat him, teasing him, and being a sore loser, his thoughts raced. And as they said goodbye, hopefully for the last time of the season, he felt an overpowering feeling as he hugged her. When he pulled back, she was tearing up and very slowly reached up and grazed his cheek, "Be safe Der, please." As he walked away from her the emotions crashed on him, he was literally slapped across the face by the truth. Damn it, I think I may be falling in love with you. And then another slap hit him full on, I'm such an idiot, I've been falling for years. I love Casey, always have. The truth terrified him to the bone.
Author's Note: Thank you for all the love received on this story, I appreciated all of you so much. I've stopped apologizing for long chapters, here's another long one :p Just in time for school starting too. I had fun writing the intense attraction between them, and loved throwing the Sally wrench in there. This story will be a long one, and I hope you can all stick around for it, but posts will be slower from now on since I'm all caught up with chapters. Please continue to give your thoughts below, It's so appreciated as it makes me buckle down and post more often 3 Thank you all for reading!