Chapter 17

Victoria moved further into the room, smiling a greeting to Heath as he levered himself further up the bed to rest against the pillows. "Good morning Heath, how are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm fine, thank you Misses Barkley." Heath eyed the tray Victoria placed on the chest of draws pensively, having recognised several of the items sitting on one corner.

"Good, good. Did you both sleep well? I hope you're hungry." Victoria busied herself serving a helping of bacon, thanking Silas silently for his foresight in cutting the bacon into finger length strips so that Heath would be able to just use his fork to eat with; and scrambled eggs along with a buttered biscuit on the two plates stacked under the one holding the food. She could feel the intense blue gaze of the man in the bed as he watched her prepare the plates. She handed a filled plate to Heath, who accepted it with a nod of thanks and balanced it on his lap. Victoria passed a second plate to Esmeralda who had moved back around the bed to sit resting against the bed head next to her husband, leaving the golden armchair vacant for Victoria's use. Turning back to the tray, Victoria poured two glasses of fresh orange juice from the small jug and then hesitated, deciding to leave the glasses on the tray until the young couple had finished eating. "Silas will be up soon with a pot of coffee, unless you would prefer tea, Esmeralda?"

"Actually I think I would like a cup of tea Misses Barkley, if it's not too much trouble." Essie replied with a warm smile.

"It's no trouble at all. I'll have Silas bring you a cup when he clears the tray. The children are fine; they were having breakfast in the nursery with Audra when I came past. I'll have Silas make up the bed in the guestroom across the hall after breakfast. The room is bigger and I'm sure you will both be more comfortable in there." Victoria shook her head imperceptibly, she was rambling and she knew it and worse she was sure that her guests knew it too. Her hand strayed towards the corner of the tray, hovered midway for a moment and then dropped to her side.

Heath had been watching Victoria silently from under hooded lids, even as he ate the food on the plate, the knot in the pit of his stomach tightening as he waited for her to announce the real reason for her visit. He hadn't missed the tentative movement of her hand to the corner of the tray, nor did he miss the gentle nudge to his ribs from his wife. Heath glanced at Essie who smiled knowingly and inclined her head towards Victoria. He rolled his eyes at his wife and took a deep breath before turning his attention back to Victoria. "Misses Barkley!"

Victoria turned from the tray and looked at Heath and then caught the gentle smile and nod from Esmeralda.

"Thank you for the breakfast but I'm sure you didn't just come up here to serve us, why don't you take a seat. I'm guessing we have a few things to discuss."

A relieved smile crossed Victoria's face as she retrieved the items from the tray and sat in the armchair beside Heath's bed. "I know it sounds silly but I really didn't know how I was going to approach you." Victoria held up a hand when she saw Heath about to speak. "Please let me continue and then you can ask whatever questions you need."

Heath nodded.

"It was never my intention to pry into your life Heath, please believe that. Fred Madden wanted a picture of Esmeralda and Gyorgy, rest his soul, told me where to find it. When I first saw the picture of you and Esmeralda on your wedding day it was like I was looking at Tom, your father, on our own wedding day." Victoria handed over the daguerreotype of Leah and Heath and then the wedding picture of herself and Tom.

Esmeralda gasped in shock. "They could be twins."

Victoria smiled and nodded slowly. "Yes they could."

"Misses Barkley, Mister McCall hinted that he knew who Heath was too…"

Victoria nodded, "Duke came to us just after Jarrod was born; both he and Silas knew Tom as a young man."

"So that's how you worked it out." Heath muttered as he stared at the picture of a young Thomas Barkley.

"Yes. But I already had my suspicions when I found Tomašis, Tommy, hiding in the bushes. The same blue eyes, the same blond hair and…his name. Of course I thought my imagination was playing tricks on me but I wasn't certain. At that point I hadn't yet seen you Heath but when I did…I'm sorry I had to know. Then I found your mothers bible and the letters. Of course I immediately recognised my husband's hand writing and when I saw the address of Strawberry on the envelope I knew my suspicions, suspicions which I'm afraid to say I have harboured for the last twenty five years but studiously tried to ignore were validated." Victoria paused and looked at Heath trying to discern his reaction but he showed nothing of his thoughts on his face. "I'm sorry but once I saw Tom's handwriting I…I had to know the truth."

"So ya read the letters."

Victoria wiped a lone tear from the corner of her eye and nodded. "Not one of my proudest moments I can assure you but…I realise you have no reason to forgive me my transgression Heath and I accept that but...but it was a relief to me to finally know the whole truth of what happened in Strawberry between your mother and Tom, not just the truth that Tom thought I should hear. It also made me realise how grateful I am to your mother for the kindness that she showed to my husband. Had it not been for your mother Heath, this family would not be what it is today. In saving your father's life, she also laid the foundations for not only your birth but also those of your sister Audra and brother, Eugene. Reading the letters also made me realise how grateful I am that Tom didn't know about you Heath."

"He wouldn'ta wanted to know me!"

"Oh Heath, no, not all; that I am sure of. Please let me finish and I'll explain."

Heath nodded.

"I'm grateful that I don't have to wonder if Tom knew about you because if he had and hadn't done anything to help your mother and you, then I don't think I could ever forgive him and it would have left me wondering how much more of our marriage had been a lie. My husband was a man, an imperfect man at times but the one thing I always believed about him was that he believed that his family was the most important thing in his life. I truly believe that had he known about you then he would have found some way of including you and your mother in his and our lives. As I said, I knew of the affair and while I had eventually accepted it I won't lie to you and say that seeing your mother would have been easy at the time. In fact it would have dredged up all those feelings of anger and resentment that I had put to rest but…but I could not and would not have stopped your father from having a relationship with his son." Victoria paused for a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing. "Watching you ride out of the yard yesterday morning I realised I had been given a wonderful gift. I was watching your father once again. You are so like him Heath, not just in your looks but also in the way you walk, sit a horse, your mannerisms and values and it is a gift that I am not prepared to lose. Our marriage was a thirty five year partnership and like most marriages it had its fair share of ups and downs over the years but one of the things that we always agreed on was equality in our marriage. What was his was mine and what was mine was his. I have given this a lot thought over the past couple of days, questioned my beliefs, my husband's belief's and intentions. He was an honourable man Heath, but like any man he had his failings also and his biggest failing was not following up with your mother in Strawberry. He believed in standing up for what was right, even when it went against public opinion and I always stood behind him. I stood behind him then and I stand behind him now. You were his son Heath, therefore you are now my son, Esmeralda is my daughter-in-law and your children are my first grandchildren and I very much wish to be a part of your lives, if you will allow me." Victoria placed the bible, letters and the small album of pictures in Heath's lap and then sat back with a deep sigh to wait.

BV

"So that's it in a nutshell Gene. You know as much as we do," Nick said with a glare at Frank.

Gene looked from brother to brother and then Frank. "Let me get this straight. The man Nick fought with and who he thought was a gypsy wasn't a gypsy but his wife and in-laws were. Then the next day you decide to take some of the hands and run the gypsies off but mother goes with you as a voice of reason and you find Heath's son Tommy and he tells you that there was trouble at their camp. You find Heath shot and his in-laws dead or dying and bring them back here but there is no sign of his wife and daughter." Gene paused and Nick nodded. "Then Jarrod comes home and tells you that Heath Thomson was Marshall Sawyer's deputy, the Heath Thomson who brought in the Reid gang and he has bought the old Rogers' spread. You and the hands with Fred Madden start tracking the rustlers who have kidnapped Heath's wife and daughter. Jarrod wires the Marshall who arrives the next day and then you all plus Heath join the search find the kidnappers, recover Heath's family and the rustled cows. Now Heath and his family are upstairs recovering, is that it?"

"I'd say you've got the gist of it." Nick agreed.

"So why did Mother send that telegram wanting me to come home? It's not like I could do anything to help."

"That's what I'd like to know too." Nick grumbled.

"Uncle Frank," Tommy called as he rushed into the dining room, only to stop suddenly when he saw the strange man sitting at the table. He stepped back a couple of paces, walking into Audra who had been following him with Leah in hand.

"Gene," Audra exclaimed as she felt Leah move around behind her dress. She knelt down to Tommy's level and tugged on Leah's hand until she came around to stand with her brother. "It's alright, it's my brother Eugene. There is nothing to be afraid of. Come and meet him, he's not as loud as Nick."

Gene couldn't help grinning at Audra's words as he studied the two children clinging to his sister's dress. Although their facial features screamed of being siblings, it was the blue eyes and blond hair of the boy and the dark hair and green eyes of the girl that had caught Gene's full attention. They were obviously twins, despite the differences of hair colour and eyes, a fact that Nick had conveniently forgotten in his telling of the events of the past couple of days. Tommy and Leah looked at one another. After Tommy nodded at Leah, Leah looked at Audra and nodded too.

Audra stood up and led the twins over to Gene who had stood up as they approached.

"Hello Sis." He gave Audra a quick hug and then bent down to greet the children. "Hello, I'm Audra's brother Eugene, but you can call me Gene."

"Hello Mister Gene, I'm Tommy and this is my sister Leah, we're twins." Tommy announced proudly as he held his right hand out to Gene, the left arm was resting snuggly in a sling.

"So I see," Gene smiled as he shook hands with Tommy, "pleased to meet you Tommy and you too, Leah."

"Miss Audra and I are going to show Leah the kittens in the barn. Do you want to come too Mister Gene? She hasn't seen them yet. Miss Audra said we can have one when they're older, if papa says we can."

"I'd love to Tommy but right now I have some business to discuss with my brothers, maybe another time alright."

Tommy thought for a minute and then nodded. "Alright Mister Gene; come on Miss Audra, Leah. After the kittens can we visit the new foal?" Tommy asked as he headed out the door.

"I'll talk to you later Gene." Audra placed a kiss on Gene's cheek and then hurried after the twins.

Gene turned back to Nick. "I think you left something out of your story Nick."

"And what would that be college boy."

Gene inclined his head in the direction Audra and the children went. "You forgot to mention they were twins."

BV

Heath stared at the items that Victoria had placed in his lap for a long moment before reaching out and lifting his mama's bible. He opened the front cover and slipped the two letters between the well-worn pages before closing the cover again. He set the bible down on the bed beside him and then casting an apprehensive glance to Essie he tentatively opened the album. The first page was blank but showed the outline of where a picture had previously rested. This he assumed was where the picture of his father and Victoria normally resided. He turned the page and stared at the next picture.

"That is your father and his older brother James; your uncle. Tom was a couple of years younger than what you are now. It was taken just before we left Philadelphia to make the trip out here."

Heath nodded silently and turned the page.

"Your father and his father, your grandfather, James senior. Tom was about six years old in that picture. "

"If I didn't know better Heath, I'd swear that was you with your father instead of your mother." Esmeralda exclaimed, "And it looks very much like Tomašis too. I can see why you thought my son looked familiar to you too Misses Barkley."

"Yes there was a striking resemblance." Victoria agreed. "Heath do you have a picture of you and your mother at that age?" Victoria asked curiously, realising that she hadn't seen any pictures of Heath and his mother, yet it appeared there was at least one from what Esmeralda had just said and...and she had no idea what Leah looked like and what had drawn Tom to Heath's mother."

Heath nodded and cleared his throat. "Yes, it was taken at the county fair when I was five. We didn't have much money. Mama struggled and saved all year ta take me, she wanted ta give me something ta remember the fun we had and she insisted we take the picture. It's the only picture I have of my mama."

"I would love to see it sometime, if that is alright with you Heath."

Essie squeezed Heath's arm gently. Heath sighed but nodded. "It's under Leah's pillow. She likes ta sleep with her grandmother."

Victoria nodded, "And her namesake. Heath may I ask you something?"

Heath sighed again, closed the album and looked at Victoria. He knew what she was about to ask, he just wasn't sure that he could answer her question to satisfy her or himself.

Victoria took Heath's silence as permission to ask her question. "If you knew who your father was, who we were and you had proof of your connection to our family why did you not come to us sooner Heath?"

Heath dropped his eyes to the bed and fidgeted with the corner of the album still resting on his lap. Essie placed her hand on his, stilling the movement of his fingers. "It's time love, time to reveal the promise, put it behind you, let us live without secrets."

Still with a dropped head, Heath sighed. "Mama never spoke of who my father was when I was growing up. All she said was that he was a good man and made the only decision he could at the time. I used ta ask her if he knew about me and she said no." He looked up at Victoria accepting the solemn nod of acknowledgment. "I asked her time and time over whom my father was and why she never told him. She said he was wealthy and would take me from her if he knew. I was his gift to her, I was her sunshine and she could never give me up. I remember when I was little I begged her ta find my father so I could have a brother or sister ta grow up with. She'd wrap her arms around me and promise that one day I would have what I desired but she couldn't give it to me. I never understood what she meant by that…until now." Heath shrugged, "As I got older I started ta resent my father and mama. I watched her struggle every day to earn enough money just ta put a loaf of bread on the table while he did nothing ta help even though mama said he was wealthy. I worked odd jobs in Strawberry from the time I was six but there weren't too many prepared ta hire a bastard."

Victoria sucked in a breath but refrained from correcting Heath at that moment. There would be time for that later.

"Once I was old enough ta make it on my own I moved on, eventually finding Essie and her family." Esmeralda squeezed Heath's hand encouragingly. "Just after the twins were born I got word that mama was sick and we moved back ta Strawberry. She passed on four months later." Heath paused and closed his eyes before shaking himself and continuing. "Just before she passed she gave me the bible and the letters, finally telling me who my father and family was but…but she made me, us, promise that we would not contact any of you. She said no good would come of it. She had accepted and made her peace with Thomas Barkley when she received his letter and didn't see the point in reliving the past. She didn't know whether he ever told ya about her or not but she didn't want you, Misses Barkley, ta question his love for you or his family." Heath released a long drawn out sigh. "I'm sorry; I'm not making much sense. I'm not even sure I can explain it properly."

Victoria allowed the silence to stretch between them, giving them both time to sort through their thoughts and feelings. Hearing Heath's story, of which she was certain were only the barest facts of his life growing up, she felt her anger towards her husband's handling of the affair twenty five years ago rising to the fore. But at the same time she couldn't help but marvel at the generosity of Leah Thomson to accept the life that she had been dealt at her husband's hand with grace and love for the young man lying in the bed beside her. Victoria closed her eyes and drew in a soft breath; it would do no good to show her anger to the young couple before her. God only knew, this was not of their doing but unfortunately, the only two people who could supply all the answers were beyond reach. "How do you feel now that you have met your brothers and sister, Heath?"

Heath plucked at the wool blanket covering his legs, avoiding the need to look at Victoria as he thought on her question. How did he feel? He had always thought he was honouring his mama's memory by keeping the promise they had made on her death bed. It had been easy at first. He was angry with his mother, with Tom Barkley even Hannah and Aunt Rachel for keeping his identity a secret. But then after he was injured in the bank robbery and nearly died three years ago a little voice in his head started urging him to contact his father's family. That voice along with many late night heated discussions with Essie, Gyorgy and Frank had convinced him to make the trip to Stockton. He had naively thought that he could keep his mama's secret and still make contact with his family as neighbours but the rustlers had upset his plans and here he was, lying in a bed in his father's house, facing his dead father's wife and admitting his connection to the this family. And yet…it felt right somehow. He couldn't deny the brotherhood or its rightness he felt while riding with Nick and Jarrod yesterday even though he had vehemently tried to ignore those feelings and drive his brothers away.

Heath sighed, how was he going to explain how he felt to this woman, his father's wife and the woman who had claimed his children as her first grandchildren? He allowed the silence to stretch between them, not sure if any answer he gave would sufficiently express his feelings. "Angry, relieved, frustrated, grateful, sorry." Heath shrugged helplessly. "Angry that I betrayed my promise to my mama and yet relieved that it is finely out in the open. Frustrated that it took nearly losing my family, twice, to recognise the truth of what Essie, Gyorgy and Frank kept telling me. Grateful for the help my brothers afforded me." Heath squeezed Essie's hand resting on the bed beside him. "If it wasn't for their help and Frank's I don't think I could have gotten through the last couple of days or found Essie and Leah. And I gotta admit it felt right somehow to have them riding at my back." Heath looked up, catching the grey of Victoria's eyes with his, "and grateful for what ya done for Tommy and Gyorgy, for all of us but sorry that I brought all a this to your doorstep too."

He was so like his father, Victoria thought as she watched and waited for Heath to work through his thoughts and formulate a response to her. Even the head down and avoidance of eye contact until those thoughts took on substance and meaning were all her Tom. "Don't ever be sorry for wanting a family Heath."

"Do the others know who I am? I kept getting the feeling when we were riding yesterday that they knew or at least were suspicious of who I was?" Heath looked expectantly at Victoria.

"Not yet they don't Heath. I wanted to talk to you first before I said anything to them. Jarrod and Nick were too young to remember Tom in his younger days and I doubt they have seen those pictures in years, if at all. Audra and Gene barely remember their father as it is. Silas and Duke are the only other ones on the ranch that know."

Heath nodded his acceptance of Victoria's reply. "So what do we do now?"

Victoria smiled, "Now I would very much like to go down stairs and tell my children about the wonderful brother they have lying in bed up here, if you will allow me to. It's time to come home Heath."